06-06-2023, 05:22 PM
While sitting on sofa upset and thinking about the changes that I saw in Shazia, I looked at the watch. It was 12 noon and I had to go for prayers as it was Friday. In a disturbed state of mind and with some hesitation, I went back into room. I saw Shazia still lying on bed. I went into washroom and refreshed myself. I got ready and went out without saying a word to her. I was feeling very upset in my mind. I poured out all my feelings during prayers. I also asked for forgiveness for all the wrong things I did. After the prayers, I felt very uncomfortable with the thought of going back to the villa. I was feeling low and disappointed. I went to the beach and sat in a shade all alone watching the waves. I kept thinking about my past about how Shazia came into my life, our marriage, our kids, and our days of happiness. Just like any other couples, we had our fights, but never did it reach to such a point of hatred and cheating needing divorce. I regretted the idea of coming to Goa for the trip. I began to think about how to handle this situation now. I decided to leave tonight whether or not she comes along. What reasons should I say at home when I proceed with divorcing her? How will my children accept these changes and what effect it can have on them? Time passed by and it was around 4 PM when I got a call on my mobile. I checked to see Shazia’s mother was calling me. Although I had a good relationship with my in-laws, I felt angry at that time. Not enough that she messed up my life here, she has already spoken to her parents, I thought. In anger, I answered the call. Her mother from the other side spoke normally and softly as she always did. She inquired if we were doing fine. I did not want to discuss things on phone. Hiding the reality, I said it was all fine. Pretending that things were normal, I asked her why she was inquiring all so sudden. She then went on to say that Shazia had called her some time back and she spoke weird and sounded different. She also spoke to our children and then disconnected the call. This made the mother worried and she wanted to confirm it with me. I lightened her worries by saying it was nothing worrisome and asked her to relax. I told her that we will be returning to Bangalore soon and we will talk to them.
After disconnecting the call, I made up my mind and walked back to the villa to pack things. I thought of going to bus stand and look for options for returning to Bangalore. When I reached the villa, the main door was left closed like I did when I came out. It was not locked. I opened the door and walked in. Our bedroom door was just shut and I opened it. I saw Shazia still lying on bed. She was silent and not crying. I thought she must be sleeping. Making some noises loud enough to wake her up, I walked directly towards the suitcases and began packing. Not wanting to look at her and speak to her directly, I spoke loudly for her to hear even while I was setting up the suitcases. I said, “I want to go home. If you are coming, get ready…” From the corner of my eye, seeing no movements at her end, I turned to look at her directly. I was shocked to see that Shazia had cut her left wrist and was lying with her left hand fallen out of bed. Blood was collecting on her wrist and dropping to the floor. The floor below already had about 6 inches of blood pooled. I panicked and went towards her immediately and tried waking her up. I slapped her gently on her cheeks calling out her name. Thankfully, she opened her eyes. She was feeling lost but regained her consciousness gradually. She saw me and began crying. She asked me to leave her and let her die. She began mumbling to herself when crying. She said she thought I had left her. When I said that I did not leave her but went for prayers, she got closer to me placing her head on my chest and began crying loudly. She said sorry for all that she did. She said she herself do not know what made her do all such things and she regretted it. She said that she was getting carried away by whatever Mark and Robert were saying to her when they were here, but now, when she was alone and she started to think to herself, she found herself wrong. She said she was feeling very guilty now and that she wishes to die and not face me anymore. I felt very bad looking at her state and her thinking. I told her that she was stupid to have cut her wrist risking her life. I asked her to stop all this nonsense and first get ready to go to a doctor. I took a clean handkerchief and tied it over her wrist wound to stop the bleeding. I picked up her saree from the suitcase and helped her to wear it quickly while she continued to cry off and on. After some compelling, we soon went out searching for a nearby clinic for first aid.
We spotted a local clinic in a nearby street. The board mentioned the name of doctor as Dr. Naveen Mahapatra and it had a long list of courses attached to the name. It was around 5 PM and the clinic was just opened. We went in and found an old lady sitting in the waiting area. We asked her if the doctor was in. She replied yes and asked us to go in. The doctor was quite elderly aged around 55 years. He was half bald and tall with a pot belly. He was wearing an old-fashioned, big, black spectacles. His pants were up to his chest with the waistband running over his pot belly. He looked at us and asked us to sit. He inquired what happened. Our conversations were in Hindi. I told him that she cut her wrist and she was bleeding. I asked him to please do the necessary first-aid. While I was saying that, Shazia lifted her arm and placed her left wrist on the table for the doctor to see it. He had not yet opened the cloth and seen the wound, but saw the bleeding. He said, “We can do the first-aid, but first, the question is why did she cut her wrist…” Saying so, he bent his head down looking at me through the gap above his spectacles and made a frowning face. For a minute, I remained silent wondering what to say. When I started to say, “sir… we just had an argument and…” Even before I completed the sentence, he interrupted saying, “You should be ashamed of yourself to have pushed your wife to such a point that she thinks about dying.”
I smiled at the doctor and tried to explain him that the reason for her cutting her wrist was something different. The moment I opened my mouth, he looked at me in anger and said, “You men don’t want to listen to any advice. Women are suffering marrying men like you… look at her…” I looked at my wife sitting beside me. Instead of supporting me with any statement and letting the doctor know that I was not responsible, she began to just cry as if she was a victim.
I looked at the doctor and started to say, “sir…. She actually….” The doctor interrupted my speech again by asking, “Do you have a sister? If her husband ill-treats her and she cuts her wrist, how would you feel? Do you even realize that?”
When he paused for my reply, I left a deep sigh and tried to correct him saying, “sir… but here…” Again, he stopped me looking at me in anger. In an angry tone, he said, “When you men don’t know how to respect and treat a woman, why do you even marry?”
I saw no hope that the doctor would even listen to me. I chose to remain silent and just listened to him nodding my head yes to everything he says. The doctor continued, “The world has changed my boy. Today’s women are equal to men and even better than men. It is time you realize that and stop being bad to them.” Shazia continued to cry more and more, which drew more sympathy from the doctor towards her.
The doctor asked her to get up and lie down on the bench. He removed the handkerchief and said that the wound was luckily not deep. While washing the wound and treating it, he continued his lecture to me. He told Shazia to be bold next time and use the knife on me instead of herself. After the treatment was over, I asked him the fees to pay him to soon get out of the clinic. He got angry and made us sit. “Her treatment is over, but your treatment is still pending.” He continued his lecture to me. He said that I am arrogant and I must go to counselling as soon as we reach Bangalore. He gave a contact number of another doctor in Bangalore and asked us to go meet him. He looked at my wife and insisted that she take me there for marriage counselling. Finally, he said his fees and I paid him. We quickly got out of the clinic and I felt a great relief. While walking back to our villa, I angrily murmured saying, “What all I have to listen because of you...” Shazia silently walked beside me not saying anything.
After disconnecting the call, I made up my mind and walked back to the villa to pack things. I thought of going to bus stand and look for options for returning to Bangalore. When I reached the villa, the main door was left closed like I did when I came out. It was not locked. I opened the door and walked in. Our bedroom door was just shut and I opened it. I saw Shazia still lying on bed. She was silent and not crying. I thought she must be sleeping. Making some noises loud enough to wake her up, I walked directly towards the suitcases and began packing. Not wanting to look at her and speak to her directly, I spoke loudly for her to hear even while I was setting up the suitcases. I said, “I want to go home. If you are coming, get ready…” From the corner of my eye, seeing no movements at her end, I turned to look at her directly. I was shocked to see that Shazia had cut her left wrist and was lying with her left hand fallen out of bed. Blood was collecting on her wrist and dropping to the floor. The floor below already had about 6 inches of blood pooled. I panicked and went towards her immediately and tried waking her up. I slapped her gently on her cheeks calling out her name. Thankfully, she opened her eyes. She was feeling lost but regained her consciousness gradually. She saw me and began crying. She asked me to leave her and let her die. She began mumbling to herself when crying. She said she thought I had left her. When I said that I did not leave her but went for prayers, she got closer to me placing her head on my chest and began crying loudly. She said sorry for all that she did. She said she herself do not know what made her do all such things and she regretted it. She said that she was getting carried away by whatever Mark and Robert were saying to her when they were here, but now, when she was alone and she started to think to herself, she found herself wrong. She said she was feeling very guilty now and that she wishes to die and not face me anymore. I felt very bad looking at her state and her thinking. I told her that she was stupid to have cut her wrist risking her life. I asked her to stop all this nonsense and first get ready to go to a doctor. I took a clean handkerchief and tied it over her wrist wound to stop the bleeding. I picked up her saree from the suitcase and helped her to wear it quickly while she continued to cry off and on. After some compelling, we soon went out searching for a nearby clinic for first aid.
We spotted a local clinic in a nearby street. The board mentioned the name of doctor as Dr. Naveen Mahapatra and it had a long list of courses attached to the name. It was around 5 PM and the clinic was just opened. We went in and found an old lady sitting in the waiting area. We asked her if the doctor was in. She replied yes and asked us to go in. The doctor was quite elderly aged around 55 years. He was half bald and tall with a pot belly. He was wearing an old-fashioned, big, black spectacles. His pants were up to his chest with the waistband running over his pot belly. He looked at us and asked us to sit. He inquired what happened. Our conversations were in Hindi. I told him that she cut her wrist and she was bleeding. I asked him to please do the necessary first-aid. While I was saying that, Shazia lifted her arm and placed her left wrist on the table for the doctor to see it. He had not yet opened the cloth and seen the wound, but saw the bleeding. He said, “We can do the first-aid, but first, the question is why did she cut her wrist…” Saying so, he bent his head down looking at me through the gap above his spectacles and made a frowning face. For a minute, I remained silent wondering what to say. When I started to say, “sir… we just had an argument and…” Even before I completed the sentence, he interrupted saying, “You should be ashamed of yourself to have pushed your wife to such a point that she thinks about dying.”
I smiled at the doctor and tried to explain him that the reason for her cutting her wrist was something different. The moment I opened my mouth, he looked at me in anger and said, “You men don’t want to listen to any advice. Women are suffering marrying men like you… look at her…” I looked at my wife sitting beside me. Instead of supporting me with any statement and letting the doctor know that I was not responsible, she began to just cry as if she was a victim.
I looked at the doctor and started to say, “sir…. She actually….” The doctor interrupted my speech again by asking, “Do you have a sister? If her husband ill-treats her and she cuts her wrist, how would you feel? Do you even realize that?”
When he paused for my reply, I left a deep sigh and tried to correct him saying, “sir… but here…” Again, he stopped me looking at me in anger. In an angry tone, he said, “When you men don’t know how to respect and treat a woman, why do you even marry?”
I saw no hope that the doctor would even listen to me. I chose to remain silent and just listened to him nodding my head yes to everything he says. The doctor continued, “The world has changed my boy. Today’s women are equal to men and even better than men. It is time you realize that and stop being bad to them.” Shazia continued to cry more and more, which drew more sympathy from the doctor towards her.
The doctor asked her to get up and lie down on the bench. He removed the handkerchief and said that the wound was luckily not deep. While washing the wound and treating it, he continued his lecture to me. He told Shazia to be bold next time and use the knife on me instead of herself. After the treatment was over, I asked him the fees to pay him to soon get out of the clinic. He got angry and made us sit. “Her treatment is over, but your treatment is still pending.” He continued his lecture to me. He said that I am arrogant and I must go to counselling as soon as we reach Bangalore. He gave a contact number of another doctor in Bangalore and asked us to go meet him. He looked at my wife and insisted that she take me there for marriage counselling. Finally, he said his fees and I paid him. We quickly got out of the clinic and I felt a great relief. While walking back to our villa, I angrily murmured saying, “What all I have to listen because of you...” Shazia silently walked beside me not saying anything.
Disclaimer:
All photos, GIFs, and videos are either own or derived from the internet. Credit goes to the actual owners. Most photos are from Anamika in Bingemee. Credit goes to Anamika for her photos. PM for complaint/removal of any posted content.
All photos, GIFs, and videos are either own or derived from the internet. Credit goes to the actual owners. Most photos are from Anamika in Bingemee. Credit goes to Anamika for her photos. PM for complaint/removal of any posted content.
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