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Adultery Badla

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Adultery Badla
lionkingback7669 Offline
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#44
01-05-2023, 03:32 PM
(01-05-2023, 03:06 PM)Fuckstar Wrote: Lion bhai welcome back.....
Iss story me bhi aapki pichhli stories ki tarah kaafi potential lag raha hai but iss baar iss story me aapki writing me halki si kami lag rahi hai..... Jese kai jagah pe spelling mistakes hai yaha fir aap likhna kya chahte ho zada clear nahi hai..... Fir characters ka build up thoda kamzor hai or seduction Kam.....
Baaki as usual aapke thoughts bohot sahi hai..... Bas mera yahi suggestion hai ki agla update Dene se pehle thoda sa proof reading kar Lena taaki ye chhoti dikkate bhi nahi ho

Woh auto carete ki trah speeling ho rahi hai maine kaha shuru mai ye choti si story hai .....bus ...mai ise bada nahi karna chahata tha ...na maine zyada build up kara.....ha ise kuch ek do din likh kar kaam khatam karonga .....jisse aage ki aur story likhna aasan hoga ....

Mai ise itne mahino bad aaya ho to thoda mai apne ko is story likh kar dubara se wohi skill Lana chahata ho
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Messages In This Thread
Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 29-04-2023, 12:54 PM
RE: Badla - by Nasrinruma - 29-04-2023, 01:16 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 29-04-2023, 01:25 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 29-04-2023, 01:49 PM
RE: Badla - by Pooja Sharma - 29-04-2023, 02:05 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 01-05-2023, 10:20 AM
RE: Badla - by Dipty Sharma - 29-04-2023, 02:18 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 01-05-2023, 10:21 AM
RE: Badla - by Mita Noor - 29-04-2023, 02:31 PM
RE: Badla - by abcturbine - 29-04-2023, 06:00 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 01-05-2023, 10:21 AM
RE: Badla - by Smalldick - 29-04-2023, 06:27 PM
RE: Badla - by Poly Sarkar - 29-04-2023, 07:00 PM
RE: Badla - by Mafiadon - 29-04-2023, 07:07 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 01-05-2023, 10:22 AM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 29-04-2023, 07:27 PM
RE: Badla - by Alex67 - 29-04-2023, 07:44 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 01-05-2023, 10:23 AM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 29-04-2023, 07:48 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 29-04-2023, 09:45 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 29-04-2023, 10:29 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 30-04-2023, 12:18 AM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 30-04-2023, 01:20 AM
RE: Badla - by Alex67 - 30-04-2023, 01:26 AM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 01-05-2023, 10:24 AM
RE: Badla - by Alex67 - 01-05-2023, 12:49 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 30-04-2023, 01:48 AM
RE: Badla - by Alex67 - 30-04-2023, 01:59 AM
RE: Badla - by Edens - 30-04-2023, 06:02 AM
RE: Badla - by Faizi610 - 30-04-2023, 01:13 PM
RE: Badla - by Faizi610 - 30-04-2023, 01:14 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 30-04-2023, 06:39 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 30-04-2023, 11:06 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 30-04-2023, 11:57 PM
RE: Badla - by Sincemany - 01-05-2023, 02:16 AM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 01-05-2023, 10:17 AM
RE: Badla - by Kumari Chut - 01-05-2023, 08:37 AM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 01-05-2023, 10:17 AM
RE: Badla - by Pinkboy - 01-05-2023, 08:56 AM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 01-05-2023, 10:18 AM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 01-05-2023, 01:43 PM
RE: Badla - by Fuckstar - 01-05-2023, 03:06 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 01-05-2023, 03:32 PM
RE: Badla - by Fuckstar - 01-05-2023, 03:50 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 01-05-2023, 03:29 PM
RE: Badla - by Firdosh - 10-07-2023, 10:11 AM
RE: Badla - by Zebashaikh1306 - 15-09-2023, 02:04 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 01-05-2023, 03:34 PM
RE: Badla - by abcturbine - 01-05-2023, 05:19 PM
RE: Badla - by abcturbine - 01-05-2023, 05:18 PM
RE: Badla - by Esha. - 01-05-2023, 05:48 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 01-05-2023, 11:15 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 01-05-2023, 11:41 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 02-05-2023, 12:15 AM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 02-05-2023, 12:44 AM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 02-05-2023, 01:12 AM
RE: Badla - by Alex67 - 02-05-2023, 01:19 AM
RE: Badla - by Sincemany - 02-05-2023, 02:03 AM
RE: Badla - by abcturbine - 02-05-2023, 01:36 PM
RE: Badla - by lionkingback7669 - 02-05-2023, 04:45 PM
RE: Badla - by Amphora - 02-05-2023, 04:55 PM
RE: Badla - by Archana Gupta - 02-05-2023, 05:01 PM
RE: Badla - by Chandan - 02-05-2023, 05:43 PM
RE: Badla - by Edens - 09-07-2023, 08:36 AM
RE: Badla - by sri7869 - 16-09-2023, 07:50 PM
RE: Badla - by Kanika Kumari - 08-02-2024, 11:21 PM
RE: Badla - by Palash123 - 05-06-2024, 03:38 AM
RE: Badla - by doctor101 - 18-06-2024, 03:11 PM
RE: Badla - by poonam_thewife - 18-06-2024, 07:41 PM
RE: Badla - by Rony Malhotra - 18-06-2024, 10:55 PM



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