27-12-2018, 08:28 PM
Kavita's Tale
Doctor Vanita was waiting for us when we got to her offices. She wanted to first close out the bang case and then spend time on the broader issues that were affecting us.
First, we are thankful that there was no penetration. But the fact that Kavi was going to be tied up for sex with two men that she had never been with terrified her. It is this trauma that I have worked on with Kavi. It will not be entirely overcome as it is linked with the overall situation regarding her long term inability to obtain sexual satisfaction.
I expect that Kavi has told you the details of exactly how she got into that situation? she asked me.
Yes but did you explain that I was not a cuckold as such? I replied.
Yes, of course. Manu, we spent quite a lot of time understanding her thoughts and actions.;
Kavi, can you explain to Manu how this started?
Yes. When I was at college, I discovered and enjoyed my sexuality. I had many partners but only one boyfriend, Prem or Amir. I was sexually very liberal compared to the other girls. With my good looks, I could choose any guy I liked at any time. They knew me as a good time girl, ready to have fun but gone in the morning. When my parents found out, all hell broke loose. As a compromise I agreed to an arranged marriage. Right after we got married I realized that Manu could not satisfy me entirely, we had to resort to cunnilingus. I longed for my college days when I was free to do as I liked. I looked at many men and many potential affairs. But I had made a promise to my parents, I had made my vows of marriage and I was not going to break them. I was glad to have Manu as my husband. I knew he fell in love with me the first time we met. We got on very well, he was very respectful and was always concerned about my well being, unlike many other husbands we knew. With his unfailing devotion and care, I grew to love him.
Manu had nothing to do with my past experience. It wasnt as though Manu had deliberately starved me of sex. He had no idea, no way of knowing how to satisfy my sexual cravings. He had never been with another woman. All he worried about was that he was sexually inadequate. So we just worked around that problem. However, while I lay there night after night, enjoying basically just cunnilingus and masturbation, the knowledge that there were men out there within easy reach that would gladly fuck me at the slightest nod, drove my lust off the scale. By the time we came back to Mumbai, my lust was at unimaginable heights. I struggled with my morals. Just the limited sex with Manu and the never ending masturbation using the internet and my toys kept me sane.
This is a classic and well known problem, Doctor Vanita explained. Prolonged sexual dissatisfaction or deprivation leads to such situations. Consequently, and very often, the women, and men, have affairs, especially with people that they know, like colleagues. We actually spend more time daily, interacting with our colleagues. Other people are people in their social circles, neighbors or nowadays via the internet. The internet, smartphones, social media, chat and video apps are a rising cause of infidelity in all age groups. Very often partners, parents and other close relatives have no idea what is going on. The privacy and immediacy afforded by these systems make people do things that they would not normally do, like exchanging intimate videos and pictures. These are often used for blackmail when one partner is no longer interested. Statistically, the risk of separation and divorce is very high in couples that have prolonged sexual dissatisfaction or little or no sex in their lives. So Kavi’s situation is not unique. You both should have sought professional help before all this. Please continue, Kavi
Thanks Dr Vanita. Im so glad it wasnt my old promiscuity that crept in.
In Mumbai, I got back into my circle of friends. I was able to go out with them and that helped offset my lust. During this time, Prem, my ex-boyfriend from college, began to suspect that there was an underlying frustration. Over a few weeks of phone calls and chat he understood my situation. He offered to fuck me many times but I refused. I couldnt cheat on Manu. I really loved him.
Finally, I figured out that the best solution would be if I could fuck other men at will with the full blessing of my husband. After all, I loved him for so many things, why jeopardize all that just for sex? I did a lot of research on men like Manu, their personalities, sexual preferences, their overall psychology.
I concentrated on Manus natural introvertedness and his feelings of sexual inadequacy. Along with sexual inadequacy went insecurity. A beautiful wife that he could not satisfy sexually, who frequently looked at other men with obvious lust, and other men who looked at her with obvious lust, led to a constant uncertainty as to when she would leave him, whether she was having affairs and whether she really loved him.
For Manu to willingly allow me to go with other men I had to make him realize that his sexual inadequacy was a result of deep rooted feminine characteristics. Once he accepted that, then he wouldnt mind me going with other men.
So I had to make him effeminate. A process that would take time and another, stronger man, the alpha male. The idea was that the alpha male would be so dominant that Manu would see the sharp contrast and gradually accept that he was effeminate and that he would have to share his wife with other men in order to keep her sexually satisfied.
I enlisted Prems help. He had to wait a while to get a posting in Mumbai. It was for seven months. So that was the time we had to convert Manu. As a body builder, Prem was immediately a sharp contrast to Manu.
An unexpected bonus was when Prem found out that Manu had masturbated over an old picture of me and Prem. We played mind games with Manu trying to convince him that he was a natural cuckold and effeminate. If accepted that he was a cuckold, then he would accept other men sleeping with me. So I started sleeping with Prem but left obvious clues for Manu to find like hearing us making love just before he arrived from work. Because of his introvertedness, he found it hard to confront me and Prem. I used this to make him believe that the reason was because he was a cuckold. Similarly, I used his masturbation outside our room while we had sex to emphasize that he got off to seeing his wife with other men. Wearing slutty clothes added to this. He would get excited seeing me in sexy clothes and would masturbate while watching me having sex, first with Prem and Gowrie and later with other men.
By staying in Prems room, I played on Manus love for me. He was terrified that I would leave him for Prem, even though that was never the intention. Manu was also terrified of me finding out about him masturbating over my old pictures with Prem. I played on that by questioning his love for me, that he was hiding something important from me. Admitting to the masturbation would be like admitting he was a cuckold. I refused to go back to sleeping with him in our bedroom until he decided to come clean. He loved me so much that seeing me sleeping with Prem in his room rather than in our room with him for weeks was driving him crazy. So much so that he confessed that he was a cross dresser, that he was effeminate, anything I wanted from him to be in order to get me to return to him. But he wouldnt talk about masturbating over my picture.
With Gowrie pregnant, I realized that Prem would have to spend more time with her. So I had to bring forward the next phase which was for Manu to get used to seeing me sleeping with other men, other than Prem. I think he had got used to Prem, so introducing other men and his acceptance of them would not be too difficult and would complete my plan. If things had gone to plan, I would have found a male friend that I was sexually interested in. Somebody that I could become familiar with over time.
Since that had not yet happened, I would have to find someone quickly. I didnt want to take the risk of bringing in strangers. So I had to find men that I was acquainted with but not in our social circle. Even though my aim was to get Manu used to the idea of being a cuckold, I was nervous about sleeping with other men that I didnt know well. At college I knew those guys. My plan was not to be able to sleep with random men but with certain well known male friends from time to time to fully satisfy myself, my sexual urges. So I turned to smoking ganja. This helped me over come my fears and enjoy myself. And Manu could enjoy himself watching me enjoy myself. A dual solution if you like.
With Prem beginning to spend weekends with Gowrie, I would have to go back to sleeping with Manu, raising his expectations that I would be returning to him. I would lose the leverage I had when Prem was around. Manu feared Prem and he had kept up the pressure on Manu to accept my plan. So I brought in Mangal and John. I believed that the more often Manu saw me with other men, the sooner he would accept my plan. In the long run, the men would actually be friends that we both knew. It was all about making him accept before Prem had to leave.
The incident at the gym destroyed my plans. I was angered by Manus furtiveness, his spying and wanted to punish him. Having sex with Vasant and Raja would accomplish that as well as another opportunity for him to see me with other men. The fact that I was dealing with two men made me apprehensive but the ganja helped overcome that.
I think my plans actually started to go awry during the Taj Express weekend. With Prem away, I had to spend the whole weekend with Manu as man and wife. His invitation to see the show, to be going out together, was out of the blue and excited me. Something I hadnt felt for a while. I thoroughly enjoyed the show. I saw and felt his love and all my resolve melted away. It felt strangely refreshing to be with him. Later, when we made love, I couldnt believe the change in him. I had never enjoyed sex with him so much. I reluctantly went back to the old set up when Prem returned. I just couldn;t forget the wonderful time with Manu.
That Friday, when Prem left for the weekend, I knew that I had to get back on track as I was so close. I needed to continue to bring in the men. In the mall that evening I chanced by my hairdresser’s and was chatting to John. I realized that he would do for that evening. I wandered around the mall until they closed and asked John to drop me home. Unfortunately, Manu got rid of Jon before we could do anything.
Later, he wouldnt let me sleep with him. I realized that in Prems absence, Manu was becoming bolder with me. The previous weekend had obviously given him hopes about us and he got rid of John quickly. He was acting in a protective way. It angered me that he seemed to take charge, even refusing to let me sleep with him. He had longed for me to come back and sleep with him and suddenly he was refusing me. I remember feeling very angry at being denied. That was what led to the incident at the gym the next morning.
Anyway, while in hospital I reflected on everything that had happened. The bang attack emphasized the dangers with propositioning other men. Once aroused they would have their way whether you liked it or not. It could be very dangerous for me and Manu. I recalled our Taj Express weekend and realized how much I enjoyed Manus company and how much he had changed in bed. I decided that I wanted my old life with Manu back.
Unfortunately, it was too late as Manu had decided to protect himself. He couldt afford to take a risk in case I actually left him. I had played so well that he no longer trusted me. Now I have nothing left. No Prem, no Gowrie, no Manu, nowhere to live. I will probably go back to my parents once Manu and I sort out things here.
Kavi, thank you for your honesty", said Dr Vanita. "It was brave of you to explain everything. I want to emphasize again that all your current problems are because you both had a mutual problem and didnt seek professional help. At that time there could have been simple solutions for you try. And Manu now knows what to do. He used that to excellent effect during the Taj Express weekend. Kavis reaction is not unexpected under the circumstances and we have plenty of statistics to support her actions.
Though much has happened, you are lucky in that you are still together. You can still talk about it, try some ideas, you still have chances to save your relationship. You ve both learned things about yourselves and each other. You both still love each other. Why squander the opportunity?
Dr Vanita, you are right in that we do have another chance. I said. I now understand why she did this. I agree that we both share the responsibility for not dealing with it earlier. But the problem for me now is that the trust between us has been broken. That might not be repairable.
That evening, we went out to a movie and dinner. I couldnt face my in-laws over dinner at home while my thoughts were churning. Kavis long face would only invite questions. Going out would provide distractions.
Doctor Vanita was waiting for us when we got to her offices. She wanted to first close out the bang case and then spend time on the broader issues that were affecting us.
First, we are thankful that there was no penetration. But the fact that Kavi was going to be tied up for sex with two men that she had never been with terrified her. It is this trauma that I have worked on with Kavi. It will not be entirely overcome as it is linked with the overall situation regarding her long term inability to obtain sexual satisfaction.
I expect that Kavi has told you the details of exactly how she got into that situation? she asked me.
Yes but did you explain that I was not a cuckold as such? I replied.
Yes, of course. Manu, we spent quite a lot of time understanding her thoughts and actions.;
Kavi, can you explain to Manu how this started?
Yes. When I was at college, I discovered and enjoyed my sexuality. I had many partners but only one boyfriend, Prem or Amir. I was sexually very liberal compared to the other girls. With my good looks, I could choose any guy I liked at any time. They knew me as a good time girl, ready to have fun but gone in the morning. When my parents found out, all hell broke loose. As a compromise I agreed to an arranged marriage. Right after we got married I realized that Manu could not satisfy me entirely, we had to resort to cunnilingus. I longed for my college days when I was free to do as I liked. I looked at many men and many potential affairs. But I had made a promise to my parents, I had made my vows of marriage and I was not going to break them. I was glad to have Manu as my husband. I knew he fell in love with me the first time we met. We got on very well, he was very respectful and was always concerned about my well being, unlike many other husbands we knew. With his unfailing devotion and care, I grew to love him.
Manu had nothing to do with my past experience. It wasnt as though Manu had deliberately starved me of sex. He had no idea, no way of knowing how to satisfy my sexual cravings. He had never been with another woman. All he worried about was that he was sexually inadequate. So we just worked around that problem. However, while I lay there night after night, enjoying basically just cunnilingus and masturbation, the knowledge that there were men out there within easy reach that would gladly fuck me at the slightest nod, drove my lust off the scale. By the time we came back to Mumbai, my lust was at unimaginable heights. I struggled with my morals. Just the limited sex with Manu and the never ending masturbation using the internet and my toys kept me sane.
This is a classic and well known problem, Doctor Vanita explained. Prolonged sexual dissatisfaction or deprivation leads to such situations. Consequently, and very often, the women, and men, have affairs, especially with people that they know, like colleagues. We actually spend more time daily, interacting with our colleagues. Other people are people in their social circles, neighbors or nowadays via the internet. The internet, smartphones, social media, chat and video apps are a rising cause of infidelity in all age groups. Very often partners, parents and other close relatives have no idea what is going on. The privacy and immediacy afforded by these systems make people do things that they would not normally do, like exchanging intimate videos and pictures. These are often used for blackmail when one partner is no longer interested. Statistically, the risk of separation and divorce is very high in couples that have prolonged sexual dissatisfaction or little or no sex in their lives. So Kavi’s situation is not unique. You both should have sought professional help before all this. Please continue, Kavi
Thanks Dr Vanita. Im so glad it wasnt my old promiscuity that crept in.
In Mumbai, I got back into my circle of friends. I was able to go out with them and that helped offset my lust. During this time, Prem, my ex-boyfriend from college, began to suspect that there was an underlying frustration. Over a few weeks of phone calls and chat he understood my situation. He offered to fuck me many times but I refused. I couldnt cheat on Manu. I really loved him.
Finally, I figured out that the best solution would be if I could fuck other men at will with the full blessing of my husband. After all, I loved him for so many things, why jeopardize all that just for sex? I did a lot of research on men like Manu, their personalities, sexual preferences, their overall psychology.
I concentrated on Manus natural introvertedness and his feelings of sexual inadequacy. Along with sexual inadequacy went insecurity. A beautiful wife that he could not satisfy sexually, who frequently looked at other men with obvious lust, and other men who looked at her with obvious lust, led to a constant uncertainty as to when she would leave him, whether she was having affairs and whether she really loved him.
For Manu to willingly allow me to go with other men I had to make him realize that his sexual inadequacy was a result of deep rooted feminine characteristics. Once he accepted that, then he wouldnt mind me going with other men.
So I had to make him effeminate. A process that would take time and another, stronger man, the alpha male. The idea was that the alpha male would be so dominant that Manu would see the sharp contrast and gradually accept that he was effeminate and that he would have to share his wife with other men in order to keep her sexually satisfied.
I enlisted Prems help. He had to wait a while to get a posting in Mumbai. It was for seven months. So that was the time we had to convert Manu. As a body builder, Prem was immediately a sharp contrast to Manu.
An unexpected bonus was when Prem found out that Manu had masturbated over an old picture of me and Prem. We played mind games with Manu trying to convince him that he was a natural cuckold and effeminate. If accepted that he was a cuckold, then he would accept other men sleeping with me. So I started sleeping with Prem but left obvious clues for Manu to find like hearing us making love just before he arrived from work. Because of his introvertedness, he found it hard to confront me and Prem. I used this to make him believe that the reason was because he was a cuckold. Similarly, I used his masturbation outside our room while we had sex to emphasize that he got off to seeing his wife with other men. Wearing slutty clothes added to this. He would get excited seeing me in sexy clothes and would masturbate while watching me having sex, first with Prem and Gowrie and later with other men.
By staying in Prems room, I played on Manus love for me. He was terrified that I would leave him for Prem, even though that was never the intention. Manu was also terrified of me finding out about him masturbating over my old pictures with Prem. I played on that by questioning his love for me, that he was hiding something important from me. Admitting to the masturbation would be like admitting he was a cuckold. I refused to go back to sleeping with him in our bedroom until he decided to come clean. He loved me so much that seeing me sleeping with Prem in his room rather than in our room with him for weeks was driving him crazy. So much so that he confessed that he was a cross dresser, that he was effeminate, anything I wanted from him to be in order to get me to return to him. But he wouldnt talk about masturbating over my picture.
With Gowrie pregnant, I realized that Prem would have to spend more time with her. So I had to bring forward the next phase which was for Manu to get used to seeing me sleeping with other men, other than Prem. I think he had got used to Prem, so introducing other men and his acceptance of them would not be too difficult and would complete my plan. If things had gone to plan, I would have found a male friend that I was sexually interested in. Somebody that I could become familiar with over time.
Since that had not yet happened, I would have to find someone quickly. I didnt want to take the risk of bringing in strangers. So I had to find men that I was acquainted with but not in our social circle. Even though my aim was to get Manu used to the idea of being a cuckold, I was nervous about sleeping with other men that I didnt know well. At college I knew those guys. My plan was not to be able to sleep with random men but with certain well known male friends from time to time to fully satisfy myself, my sexual urges. So I turned to smoking ganja. This helped me over come my fears and enjoy myself. And Manu could enjoy himself watching me enjoy myself. A dual solution if you like.
With Prem beginning to spend weekends with Gowrie, I would have to go back to sleeping with Manu, raising his expectations that I would be returning to him. I would lose the leverage I had when Prem was around. Manu feared Prem and he had kept up the pressure on Manu to accept my plan. So I brought in Mangal and John. I believed that the more often Manu saw me with other men, the sooner he would accept my plan. In the long run, the men would actually be friends that we both knew. It was all about making him accept before Prem had to leave.
The incident at the gym destroyed my plans. I was angered by Manus furtiveness, his spying and wanted to punish him. Having sex with Vasant and Raja would accomplish that as well as another opportunity for him to see me with other men. The fact that I was dealing with two men made me apprehensive but the ganja helped overcome that.
I think my plans actually started to go awry during the Taj Express weekend. With Prem away, I had to spend the whole weekend with Manu as man and wife. His invitation to see the show, to be going out together, was out of the blue and excited me. Something I hadnt felt for a while. I thoroughly enjoyed the show. I saw and felt his love and all my resolve melted away. It felt strangely refreshing to be with him. Later, when we made love, I couldnt believe the change in him. I had never enjoyed sex with him so much. I reluctantly went back to the old set up when Prem returned. I just couldn;t forget the wonderful time with Manu.
That Friday, when Prem left for the weekend, I knew that I had to get back on track as I was so close. I needed to continue to bring in the men. In the mall that evening I chanced by my hairdresser’s and was chatting to John. I realized that he would do for that evening. I wandered around the mall until they closed and asked John to drop me home. Unfortunately, Manu got rid of Jon before we could do anything.
Later, he wouldnt let me sleep with him. I realized that in Prems absence, Manu was becoming bolder with me. The previous weekend had obviously given him hopes about us and he got rid of John quickly. He was acting in a protective way. It angered me that he seemed to take charge, even refusing to let me sleep with him. He had longed for me to come back and sleep with him and suddenly he was refusing me. I remember feeling very angry at being denied. That was what led to the incident at the gym the next morning.
Anyway, while in hospital I reflected on everything that had happened. The bang attack emphasized the dangers with propositioning other men. Once aroused they would have their way whether you liked it or not. It could be very dangerous for me and Manu. I recalled our Taj Express weekend and realized how much I enjoyed Manus company and how much he had changed in bed. I decided that I wanted my old life with Manu back.
Unfortunately, it was too late as Manu had decided to protect himself. He couldt afford to take a risk in case I actually left him. I had played so well that he no longer trusted me. Now I have nothing left. No Prem, no Gowrie, no Manu, nowhere to live. I will probably go back to my parents once Manu and I sort out things here.
Kavi, thank you for your honesty", said Dr Vanita. "It was brave of you to explain everything. I want to emphasize again that all your current problems are because you both had a mutual problem and didnt seek professional help. At that time there could have been simple solutions for you try. And Manu now knows what to do. He used that to excellent effect during the Taj Express weekend. Kavis reaction is not unexpected under the circumstances and we have plenty of statistics to support her actions.
Though much has happened, you are lucky in that you are still together. You can still talk about it, try some ideas, you still have chances to save your relationship. You ve both learned things about yourselves and each other. You both still love each other. Why squander the opportunity?
Dr Vanita, you are right in that we do have another chance. I said. I now understand why she did this. I agree that we both share the responsibility for not dealing with it earlier. But the problem for me now is that the trust between us has been broken. That might not be repairable.
That evening, we went out to a movie and dinner. I couldnt face my in-laws over dinner at home while my thoughts were churning. Kavis long face would only invite questions. Going out would provide distractions.
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