27-12-2018, 05:02 PM
The Lawyer, the Trainer and the Therapist
In the morning, we woke up late as it was a Sunday. Kavi gave me a hug and a kiss and we showered together. Both our spirits were up and we chatted while we drank our tea and coffee in front of the morning news on TV. We had a leisurely breakfast then went to the nearby park to have a walk. A little later we went to an art exhibition. It was something to do together. We went browsing through all the pictures. Lunch was in the art gallery restaurant. Later, we returned home for a nap.
When Kavi woke up, she started to prepare dinner as Prem was due back. “Go and get some non-veg from the restaurant”, she said. Her tone returning to her old stiffness. With a heavy heart I knew that our short time in paradise was over.
“What do you want me to get” I asked.
“Anything you want. The usual. You know what he likes” she replied brusquely.
I came back with a lamb dish and naan. The food was ready.
“Make sure you wear your normal nighty” she said.
I nodded dumbly and went into our room.
Prem showed up around 8pm. As I opened the door he said, “Did you miss me, Pussy Boy?”
“Yes, I did” I replied, closing the door. He pushed me out of the way and reached for Kavi. They spent a long time kissing.
During dinner I learnt that he would be with Gowrie the following Friday and that they would both return on Saturday evening. And Gowrie would stay the whole week with them.
Later I heard them having sex but I wasn’t interested any more. I stayed in my room and cried. The weekend had turned out to be unbelievable. It was so hard to go back to the old routine. But I knew I had to play the game.
Monday morning I stopped at my lawyer’s. I explained the situation and my concerns. He drew up some papers to prevent Kavi or Prem making any claim on my estate. I didn’t want Prem declaring himself as a common law husband or some such relationship to Kavi. I would leave everything to my brother in Delhi. However, in case of a divorce, unless it was mutual divorce, I would have to pay support to Kavi.
In the office, I took my medicines and started the day a little late. I explained my strategy for the Dubai client to our senior management and got their blessings. The presentation was in two weeks time. There were still a lot of details to sift through.
During lunch, I went to my gym, the Mumbai Muscle Clinic. I met Mangal and we started my training. He told me that he had cancelled his membership at the Fitness Freak gym. He didn’t want to run into Kavi and Prem again. I thanked him for his help.
The training was hard going. Mangal had brought in another stuntman friend that specialized in Kung Fu. He reasoned that since I was never going to be big and strong, he wanted me to be able to apply my strength in a precise way. The strength training and Kung Fu went hand in hand.
I arrived a little early for my 3pm appointment with Dr. Vanita Raja, the sex therapist. While I waited I glanced at her credentials. She had qualified in the US., spent about 10 years in the San Francisco area before settling in Mumbai. She was a psychiatrist and a sex therapist. She also consulted at a couple of our local hospital.
Dr. Vanita was very professional as she heard my story and what Kavi and Prem had put me through.
“Well let’s start with your personality. You’re an introvert and prefer others to take the lead. Hence, your issues in finding a girlfriend. You lacked confidence and feared rejection. That is perfectly normal. Your sexual problems are also not a major problem. I would agree with your friend Mangal’s advice. Having a large or small penis need not be an issue. But it gets to be a problem when you fear rejection, when you develop a mental hang up, when you know that other men are bigger, when your wife or partner denigrates you for your lack of performance and size, when your partner keeps looking at other men”.
“So it needs support from both of you, you both need to work at your individual road blocks, you need to gain each other’s confidence, you need to talk. It takes time, commitment and follow up with your therapist. Unfortunately, you didn’t address the issues with a professional in your early days. Hence, your current problems.”
“As for your masturbation over the picture of Kavi and Prem, it was unfortunate that you were seen. Many men have sexual fantasies about their wives with other men. As long as it remains a fantasy, it is fine. It doesn’t mean that you’re a pervert or cuckold. Prem obviously is using this against you. As he is a bully and much larger than you, you were obviously intimidated. If you had told your wife, she would have assumed that you actually wanted Prem to be with your wife. Thereby, achieving her goal of getting you to voluntarily admit that you enjoyed seeing them together sexually. It would have eliminated her long term sexual frustration, allowing her to obtain sexual satisfaction with her ex-boyfriend with your consent”.
“An ex-boyfriend is a convenient fall back for women because they probably had a satisfactory sexual history. In this case, my guess is that your wife and Prem, were promiscuous and had no qualms about continuing their sexual relationship despite her being married to you. Similarly, Gowrie must also have promiscuous tendencies in that she accepts the continuing Prem/Kavi relationship even though she is engaged to Prem. Your concern that Kavi might have had sex with partners other than Prem are probably valid. Unfortunately, that is borne out by her recent tryst with Mangal”.
“Regarding the cross dressing, you just did that out of desperation and bullying by Prem. Kavi is just playing with your insecurities. It does appear to me that her ultimate goal is to have you accept her continued promiscuity, with whoever she chooses. I agree that she brought in Prem based on old alliances and to help her intimidate you”.
“Whether, Kavi is really in love with you or not is not the problem entirely. When she married you, it was not because she loved you. Her parents obviously knew about her promiscuity and relationship with an unsuitable boy. An arranged marriage was the answer. But Kavi could have had affairs anytime in the four years you’ve been married. If you feel sure that she hadn’t then during that time she obviously had respect for the institution of marriage. She may not love you but she has an attachment towards you, respect for your many other qualities and abilities such as working to provide for her and simple companionship. That is why she hasn’t left you. Sometimes, it takes a special event for someone to realize that they actually love you. ”.
“Women tend to seek stability in life, we all do. We just need to be with someone that we can grow to respect and ultimately love. She may be in the respect phase but her sexual frustrations have built up. I think that coming back to Mumbai and having the possibility of meeting her old friends physically, made her come up with this plan. Some men do not mind their wives being with other men but you are definitely not in that category”.
“If you let this continue, there will be serious complications for you. It is obvious to me that your efforts to, as you say, win back your wife based on your undying love for her is precisely the weapon that is being used against you. You need to decide on some action now. You clearly don’t want your wife with other men. If you had the physical and mental strength you would not be bullied by Prem and your wife would realize that you cannot be intimidated. You need to talk. However, for her to stop, you would have to address the cause, satisfy her sexual frustration. So Mangal’s prescription makes sense. Find ways to make your point from a position of power so that they cannot fight back. A frustrated wife can only cause problem for both. Ultimately, a divorce may be necessary for her to find her sexual nirvana.
I thanked Dr Vanita profusely and went back to work. In my office I turned on my laptop and connected to my video server to check that it was working. I was able to see in high definition everything that went on since the installation. I replayed my night with Kavi and I checked Sunday night in Prem’s room. Kavi looked and sounded a bit low key, she didn’t seem interested. But once Prem had fingered her and licked her, she was aroused. Which woman wouldn’t I guess? It was a fairly short session I thought. Most nights I had been outside their room for at least half an hour or more, especially when Gowrie had been there.
In the morning, we woke up late as it was a Sunday. Kavi gave me a hug and a kiss and we showered together. Both our spirits were up and we chatted while we drank our tea and coffee in front of the morning news on TV. We had a leisurely breakfast then went to the nearby park to have a walk. A little later we went to an art exhibition. It was something to do together. We went browsing through all the pictures. Lunch was in the art gallery restaurant. Later, we returned home for a nap.
When Kavi woke up, she started to prepare dinner as Prem was due back. “Go and get some non-veg from the restaurant”, she said. Her tone returning to her old stiffness. With a heavy heart I knew that our short time in paradise was over.
“What do you want me to get” I asked.
“Anything you want. The usual. You know what he likes” she replied brusquely.
I came back with a lamb dish and naan. The food was ready.
“Make sure you wear your normal nighty” she said.
I nodded dumbly and went into our room.
Prem showed up around 8pm. As I opened the door he said, “Did you miss me, Pussy Boy?”
“Yes, I did” I replied, closing the door. He pushed me out of the way and reached for Kavi. They spent a long time kissing.
During dinner I learnt that he would be with Gowrie the following Friday and that they would both return on Saturday evening. And Gowrie would stay the whole week with them.
Later I heard them having sex but I wasn’t interested any more. I stayed in my room and cried. The weekend had turned out to be unbelievable. It was so hard to go back to the old routine. But I knew I had to play the game.
Monday morning I stopped at my lawyer’s. I explained the situation and my concerns. He drew up some papers to prevent Kavi or Prem making any claim on my estate. I didn’t want Prem declaring himself as a common law husband or some such relationship to Kavi. I would leave everything to my brother in Delhi. However, in case of a divorce, unless it was mutual divorce, I would have to pay support to Kavi.
In the office, I took my medicines and started the day a little late. I explained my strategy for the Dubai client to our senior management and got their blessings. The presentation was in two weeks time. There were still a lot of details to sift through.
During lunch, I went to my gym, the Mumbai Muscle Clinic. I met Mangal and we started my training. He told me that he had cancelled his membership at the Fitness Freak gym. He didn’t want to run into Kavi and Prem again. I thanked him for his help.
The training was hard going. Mangal had brought in another stuntman friend that specialized in Kung Fu. He reasoned that since I was never going to be big and strong, he wanted me to be able to apply my strength in a precise way. The strength training and Kung Fu went hand in hand.
I arrived a little early for my 3pm appointment with Dr. Vanita Raja, the sex therapist. While I waited I glanced at her credentials. She had qualified in the US., spent about 10 years in the San Francisco area before settling in Mumbai. She was a psychiatrist and a sex therapist. She also consulted at a couple of our local hospital.
Dr. Vanita was very professional as she heard my story and what Kavi and Prem had put me through.
“Well let’s start with your personality. You’re an introvert and prefer others to take the lead. Hence, your issues in finding a girlfriend. You lacked confidence and feared rejection. That is perfectly normal. Your sexual problems are also not a major problem. I would agree with your friend Mangal’s advice. Having a large or small penis need not be an issue. But it gets to be a problem when you fear rejection, when you develop a mental hang up, when you know that other men are bigger, when your wife or partner denigrates you for your lack of performance and size, when your partner keeps looking at other men”.
“So it needs support from both of you, you both need to work at your individual road blocks, you need to gain each other’s confidence, you need to talk. It takes time, commitment and follow up with your therapist. Unfortunately, you didn’t address the issues with a professional in your early days. Hence, your current problems.”
“As for your masturbation over the picture of Kavi and Prem, it was unfortunate that you were seen. Many men have sexual fantasies about their wives with other men. As long as it remains a fantasy, it is fine. It doesn’t mean that you’re a pervert or cuckold. Prem obviously is using this against you. As he is a bully and much larger than you, you were obviously intimidated. If you had told your wife, she would have assumed that you actually wanted Prem to be with your wife. Thereby, achieving her goal of getting you to voluntarily admit that you enjoyed seeing them together sexually. It would have eliminated her long term sexual frustration, allowing her to obtain sexual satisfaction with her ex-boyfriend with your consent”.
“An ex-boyfriend is a convenient fall back for women because they probably had a satisfactory sexual history. In this case, my guess is that your wife and Prem, were promiscuous and had no qualms about continuing their sexual relationship despite her being married to you. Similarly, Gowrie must also have promiscuous tendencies in that she accepts the continuing Prem/Kavi relationship even though she is engaged to Prem. Your concern that Kavi might have had sex with partners other than Prem are probably valid. Unfortunately, that is borne out by her recent tryst with Mangal”.
“Regarding the cross dressing, you just did that out of desperation and bullying by Prem. Kavi is just playing with your insecurities. It does appear to me that her ultimate goal is to have you accept her continued promiscuity, with whoever she chooses. I agree that she brought in Prem based on old alliances and to help her intimidate you”.
“Whether, Kavi is really in love with you or not is not the problem entirely. When she married you, it was not because she loved you. Her parents obviously knew about her promiscuity and relationship with an unsuitable boy. An arranged marriage was the answer. But Kavi could have had affairs anytime in the four years you’ve been married. If you feel sure that she hadn’t then during that time she obviously had respect for the institution of marriage. She may not love you but she has an attachment towards you, respect for your many other qualities and abilities such as working to provide for her and simple companionship. That is why she hasn’t left you. Sometimes, it takes a special event for someone to realize that they actually love you. ”.
“Women tend to seek stability in life, we all do. We just need to be with someone that we can grow to respect and ultimately love. She may be in the respect phase but her sexual frustrations have built up. I think that coming back to Mumbai and having the possibility of meeting her old friends physically, made her come up with this plan. Some men do not mind their wives being with other men but you are definitely not in that category”.
“If you let this continue, there will be serious complications for you. It is obvious to me that your efforts to, as you say, win back your wife based on your undying love for her is precisely the weapon that is being used against you. You need to decide on some action now. You clearly don’t want your wife with other men. If you had the physical and mental strength you would not be bullied by Prem and your wife would realize that you cannot be intimidated. You need to talk. However, for her to stop, you would have to address the cause, satisfy her sexual frustration. So Mangal’s prescription makes sense. Find ways to make your point from a position of power so that they cannot fight back. A frustrated wife can only cause problem for both. Ultimately, a divorce may be necessary for her to find her sexual nirvana.
I thanked Dr Vanita profusely and went back to work. In my office I turned on my laptop and connected to my video server to check that it was working. I was able to see in high definition everything that went on since the installation. I replayed my night with Kavi and I checked Sunday night in Prem’s room. Kavi looked and sounded a bit low key, she didn’t seem interested. But once Prem had fingered her and licked her, she was aroused. Which woman wouldn’t I guess? It was a fairly short session I thought. Most nights I had been outside their room for at least half an hour or more, especially when Gowrie had been there.
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