22-01-2023, 10:03 PM
“…vah mahila jo apane kutte ko phusalaatee hai, ghoshana karatee hai ki vah vahee hai jo vah hai – jangalee aur niyantran se baahar, aparaadhabodh ya vinamrata ke baare mein koee vichaar nahin. bas seks, shuddh seks, pashu seks - aur pyaar, komalata, pratibaddhata, aur any sabhee niyam kal vaapas aane den.
liz apane bedaroom mein badee aaraamakursee mein simatee huee baithee thee. vah apanee naee kitaab mein mashagool thee; ek-ek shabd ko utanee hee tejee se aatmasaat kar rahee thee, jitanee jaldee vah panne palat sakatee thee.
“…donon lingon ke sabase aadim sapanon mein, ham sabhee ko chheen lie jaane ke vichaaron se bahakaaya jaata hai, sabhyata ke bojh se mukt kiya jaata hai, ek bina soche-samajhe, jaivik star par kaam kiya jaata hai. samaaj aur hamaare maata-pita ne hamen achchhe ladake-ladakiyaan banaaya; ye kalpanaen us sab se door ek yaatra hain. ve mukhaute ke peechhe ho jaate hain aur hamen kuchh surakshit kshanon ka aanand lene dete hain kyonki jeevan kee shuruaat mein ham sabhee nirjan jaanavar the.
liz ko pata nahin tha ki usaka daahina haath dheere se usake stanon ko sahala raha tha aur apane taink top ke maadhyam se usake khade nipals ko dheere se nichod raha tha kyonki usane apane baen haath se kitaab par majabootee se pakad rakhee thee. usane apane nichale honth ko kaat liya aur tej aniyamitata ke saath tejee se saans le rahee thee kyonki vah pratyek namakeen shabd padh rahee thee.
“…mainne hamesha kutton aur unake jabaradast, lambe samay tak chalane vaale charamotkarsh se eershya kee hai. mere paas kabhee bhee ek nar kutte ka svaamitv nahin hai jise mainne jaik nahin kiya hai, ya jisane mujhe usake lie karane ke lie pyaar nahin kiya hai. kabhee-kabhee pandrah ya bees minat ya usase adhik samay tak kutte kee chubhan aur phuhaar ko dekhana hee mujhe uttejit karane ke lie kaaphee hota hai; aur doosaree baar, vah sabhee kutte pharsh par pokhar karate hue aate hain jo ek bhayaanak barbaadee lagatee hai; aur meree kalpana mein, yah sab mere gale ya mere guda se neeche ja raha hai.
shabdon ne usakee ichchhaon ko uttejit kar diya, jisase usake dil kee dhadakan tej ho gaee aur usaka chehara, stan aur jananaang laal aur garm ho gae. agast kee dopahar kee garmee aur umas ke saath milakar usakee tvacha paseene kee maheen chamak se damak uthee. usakee gardan ke aadhaar par paseene kee ek boond ban gaee aur phir itmeenaan se usakee chhaatee ke neeche bahatee huee usake stanon ke beech daraar mein gaayab ho gaee. usane apanee jaanghon ko ek saath nichoda, jabaki kursee par apane koolhon ko hilaate hue usane apanee kitaab padhana jaaree rakha. liz ka daahina haath usake shareer ke neeche phisal gaya aur usakee leging kee ilaastik ko kheench liya kyonki usane apane pair oodabilaav par phaila die. usane apanee jaanghon ke khilaaph kroch mein lathapath saamagree ko mahasoos kiya kyonki usane apane koolhon ko hilaaya aur unhen apane ghutanon tak kheench liya. liz ne varshon se hastamaithun nahin kiya tha, lekin abhee vah yah bhee nahin jaanatee thee ki vah kya kar rahee hai; usaka shareer chhoone ke lie taras raha tha aur use ab sahalaane kee jaroorat thee.
“…mainne paaya hai ki kutte, nar ke saath maukhik roop se utane hee uttejit hote hain jitane ki maada ke saath. achchhe puraane "rovar" ko mere land par utanee hee kaamuk chaat milatee hai jitanee vah meree patnee kee choot ko chaatata hai. durbhaagy se, isaka mujh par vaisa prabhaav nahin hai jaisa ki yah meree patnee (aur bahut see any mahilaon par, spasht roop se) par padata hai.
"baap re baap!" liz roya ke roop mein vah gusse mein usakee ungaliyon usake chlit par saraka diya. usakee yoni uttejit aur geelee thee kyonki usaka haath usakee soojee huee klit ko uttejit karane ke lie tejee se aur tejee se aage badh raha tha. usake nippal sakht aur ubhare hue the; usake taink top ke paseene se lathapath saamagree ke khilaaph tanaav. usake stanon ko chhoone, chaatane, kutarane aur choosane ke lie dard ho raha tha lekin liz kitaab ko neeche rakhane ya apanee choot ko ragadane se nahin rok rahee thee.
“…ab hamaare paas jo kutta hai, usamen ek badee chubhan hai, aur use hastamaithun karana ek tarah se mushkil hai. jaisa ki main dheere se apanee atyadhik uttejit chubhan ko ragadata hoon aur ise aane ke kagaar par rakhata hoon, meree kalpana khatm ho jaatee hai aur main apane haathon aur ghutanon par hoon aur vah bada chubhan mere gadhe mein lataka hua hai aur mere andar aane vaale sabhee adbhut phuhaaron ko nichod raha hai. ya yah mere munh mein hai aur main ise sab kuchh nigal raha hoon, ya yah meree patnee kee billee mein hai aur usaka aana usake pairon ke neeche chal raha hai, ya yah usake munh mein hai aur vah ise nigal rahee hai jabaki main usakee billee kha raha hoon, aur aage aur par.
"aahhhh! ahhhhh!" jaise hee usane kitaab ko pharsh par giraaya liz chillaee aur ek adbhut kaamonmaad ke saath ainthan huee. jab vah achaanak rukee aur usaka shareer kathor ho gaya, to usakee ungaliyaan gati ka dhundhalaapan theen, usake ras se chamak rahee theen. hava ke lie haamphate hue usane apane pet ko jor se jakada aur apane daahine haath ko apane pairon ke beech nichod liya aur apane baen haath ko apane shareer ke khilaaph kas kar pakad liya, usaka haath usake daahine stan ko majabootee se sahala raha tha. agale kaee minaton tak vah vaheen padee rahee aur hilatee-dulatee rahee, chhotee-chhotee haamphatee rahee, jaise usake shareer mein khushee kee lahar ke baad lahar daud rahee thee.
jab liz ne apana sanyam vaapas pa liya to use vishvaas nahin ho raha tha ki abhee kya hua. usake shareer kee har nas abhee bhee jhanajhana rahee thee kyonki vah apanee saans pakadane kee koshish kar rahee thee. use yaad nahin aa raha tha ki pichhalee baar kab use kaee baar charam sukh hua tha; vishesh roop se aisa ek. abhee-abhee jo hua usakee bhayaavahata ne use dheere-dheere sataana shuroo kar diya aur vah dheere-dheere rone lagee. lekin ye dukh ya glaani ke aansoo nahin the, ye khushee ke aansoo the. liz ne varshon mein ise achchha ya jeevit mahasoos nahin kiya tha.
liz ne bistar ke paas lagee alaarm ghadee ko dekha; dopahar ke 3:15 baj rahe the. behatar hoga ki vah saaph-saphaee kar len aur raat ka khaana shuroo kar den; steev kuchh ghanton mein ghar aa jaega. vah kursee se uthee aur apanee kitaab aur utaaree huee leging lene ke lie jhukee. jaise hee vah khadee huee usane kursee par ek bada geela sthaan dekha. usane apana raasta baatharoom mein banaaya jahaan usane shovar chaaloo kiya. usane taink top ko apane sir ke oopar kheencha aur use pharsh par phenk diya phir sink ke bagal vaale kauntar se ek heyar klip pakadee. apane kandhe kee lambaee vaale shyaamala baalon ko apane sir ke peechhe ikattha karake usane ise ek karl mein ghuma diya aur ise oopar kar diya taaki yah geela na ho.
sheeshe mein khud ko dekhakar usane aah bharee. "tum itanee buree ladakee ho, elijaabeth." usane shaitaanee muskaan ke saath kaha.
jaise hee liz ne khud ko aaeene mein dekha usakee muskaraahat dheere-dheere pheekee pad gaee. liz ko khud ko nagn dekhana pasand nahin tha. vah haee skool mein ladakon aur kolej mein yuva purushon mein se kisee kee pasand ke saath ek lokapriy ladakee thee. usane kolej mein kuchh modaling ka kaam bhee kiya tha, lekin ab jab vah 30 kee umr paar kar rahee thee, to vah apanee yuvaavastha kee yuva pharm mahila shareer ko dekhane ke lie taras rahee thee. vah abhee bhee kaaphee ethaletik thee aur saptaah mein kaee baar erobiks kakshaon mein bhaag letee thee lekin samay aur gurutvaakarshan apana prabhaav daal rahe the. vah ab 20 kee nahin thee. liz mudee aur shovar mein chadh gaee. garm paanee usakee tvacha par sukhadaayak mahasoos kar raha tha kyonki yah usake shareer par bah raha tha. garm dhundh mein usake shareer ko nigalate hue shovar stol mein bhaap bhar gaee.
liz apane bedaroom mein badee aaraamakursee mein simatee huee baithee thee. vah apanee naee kitaab mein mashagool thee; ek-ek shabd ko utanee hee tejee se aatmasaat kar rahee thee, jitanee jaldee vah panne palat sakatee thee.
“…donon lingon ke sabase aadim sapanon mein, ham sabhee ko chheen lie jaane ke vichaaron se bahakaaya jaata hai, sabhyata ke bojh se mukt kiya jaata hai, ek bina soche-samajhe, jaivik star par kaam kiya jaata hai. samaaj aur hamaare maata-pita ne hamen achchhe ladake-ladakiyaan banaaya; ye kalpanaen us sab se door ek yaatra hain. ve mukhaute ke peechhe ho jaate hain aur hamen kuchh surakshit kshanon ka aanand lene dete hain kyonki jeevan kee shuruaat mein ham sabhee nirjan jaanavar the.
liz ko pata nahin tha ki usaka daahina haath dheere se usake stanon ko sahala raha tha aur apane taink top ke maadhyam se usake khade nipals ko dheere se nichod raha tha kyonki usane apane baen haath se kitaab par majabootee se pakad rakhee thee. usane apane nichale honth ko kaat liya aur tej aniyamitata ke saath tejee se saans le rahee thee kyonki vah pratyek namakeen shabd padh rahee thee.
“…mainne hamesha kutton aur unake jabaradast, lambe samay tak chalane vaale charamotkarsh se eershya kee hai. mere paas kabhee bhee ek nar kutte ka svaamitv nahin hai jise mainne jaik nahin kiya hai, ya jisane mujhe usake lie karane ke lie pyaar nahin kiya hai. kabhee-kabhee pandrah ya bees minat ya usase adhik samay tak kutte kee chubhan aur phuhaar ko dekhana hee mujhe uttejit karane ke lie kaaphee hota hai; aur doosaree baar, vah sabhee kutte pharsh par pokhar karate hue aate hain jo ek bhayaanak barbaadee lagatee hai; aur meree kalpana mein, yah sab mere gale ya mere guda se neeche ja raha hai.
shabdon ne usakee ichchhaon ko uttejit kar diya, jisase usake dil kee dhadakan tej ho gaee aur usaka chehara, stan aur jananaang laal aur garm ho gae. agast kee dopahar kee garmee aur umas ke saath milakar usakee tvacha paseene kee maheen chamak se damak uthee. usakee gardan ke aadhaar par paseene kee ek boond ban gaee aur phir itmeenaan se usakee chhaatee ke neeche bahatee huee usake stanon ke beech daraar mein gaayab ho gaee. usane apanee jaanghon ko ek saath nichoda, jabaki kursee par apane koolhon ko hilaate hue usane apanee kitaab padhana jaaree rakha. liz ka daahina haath usake shareer ke neeche phisal gaya aur usakee leging kee ilaastik ko kheench liya kyonki usane apane pair oodabilaav par phaila die. usane apanee jaanghon ke khilaaph kroch mein lathapath saamagree ko mahasoos kiya kyonki usane apane koolhon ko hilaaya aur unhen apane ghutanon tak kheench liya. liz ne varshon se hastamaithun nahin kiya tha, lekin abhee vah yah bhee nahin jaanatee thee ki vah kya kar rahee hai; usaka shareer chhoone ke lie taras raha tha aur use ab sahalaane kee jaroorat thee.
“…mainne paaya hai ki kutte, nar ke saath maukhik roop se utane hee uttejit hote hain jitane ki maada ke saath. achchhe puraane "rovar" ko mere land par utanee hee kaamuk chaat milatee hai jitanee vah meree patnee kee choot ko chaatata hai. durbhaagy se, isaka mujh par vaisa prabhaav nahin hai jaisa ki yah meree patnee (aur bahut see any mahilaon par, spasht roop se) par padata hai.
"baap re baap!" liz roya ke roop mein vah gusse mein usakee ungaliyon usake chlit par saraka diya. usakee yoni uttejit aur geelee thee kyonki usaka haath usakee soojee huee klit ko uttejit karane ke lie tejee se aur tejee se aage badh raha tha. usake nippal sakht aur ubhare hue the; usake taink top ke paseene se lathapath saamagree ke khilaaph tanaav. usake stanon ko chhoone, chaatane, kutarane aur choosane ke lie dard ho raha tha lekin liz kitaab ko neeche rakhane ya apanee choot ko ragadane se nahin rok rahee thee.
“…ab hamaare paas jo kutta hai, usamen ek badee chubhan hai, aur use hastamaithun karana ek tarah se mushkil hai. jaisa ki main dheere se apanee atyadhik uttejit chubhan ko ragadata hoon aur ise aane ke kagaar par rakhata hoon, meree kalpana khatm ho jaatee hai aur main apane haathon aur ghutanon par hoon aur vah bada chubhan mere gadhe mein lataka hua hai aur mere andar aane vaale sabhee adbhut phuhaaron ko nichod raha hai. ya yah mere munh mein hai aur main ise sab kuchh nigal raha hoon, ya yah meree patnee kee billee mein hai aur usaka aana usake pairon ke neeche chal raha hai, ya yah usake munh mein hai aur vah ise nigal rahee hai jabaki main usakee billee kha raha hoon, aur aage aur par.
"aahhhh! ahhhhh!" jaise hee usane kitaab ko pharsh par giraaya liz chillaee aur ek adbhut kaamonmaad ke saath ainthan huee. jab vah achaanak rukee aur usaka shareer kathor ho gaya, to usakee ungaliyaan gati ka dhundhalaapan theen, usake ras se chamak rahee theen. hava ke lie haamphate hue usane apane pet ko jor se jakada aur apane daahine haath ko apane pairon ke beech nichod liya aur apane baen haath ko apane shareer ke khilaaph kas kar pakad liya, usaka haath usake daahine stan ko majabootee se sahala raha tha. agale kaee minaton tak vah vaheen padee rahee aur hilatee-dulatee rahee, chhotee-chhotee haamphatee rahee, jaise usake shareer mein khushee kee lahar ke baad lahar daud rahee thee.
jab liz ne apana sanyam vaapas pa liya to use vishvaas nahin ho raha tha ki abhee kya hua. usake shareer kee har nas abhee bhee jhanajhana rahee thee kyonki vah apanee saans pakadane kee koshish kar rahee thee. use yaad nahin aa raha tha ki pichhalee baar kab use kaee baar charam sukh hua tha; vishesh roop se aisa ek. abhee-abhee jo hua usakee bhayaavahata ne use dheere-dheere sataana shuroo kar diya aur vah dheere-dheere rone lagee. lekin ye dukh ya glaani ke aansoo nahin the, ye khushee ke aansoo the. liz ne varshon mein ise achchha ya jeevit mahasoos nahin kiya tha.
liz ne bistar ke paas lagee alaarm ghadee ko dekha; dopahar ke 3:15 baj rahe the. behatar hoga ki vah saaph-saphaee kar len aur raat ka khaana shuroo kar den; steev kuchh ghanton mein ghar aa jaega. vah kursee se uthee aur apanee kitaab aur utaaree huee leging lene ke lie jhukee. jaise hee vah khadee huee usane kursee par ek bada geela sthaan dekha. usane apana raasta baatharoom mein banaaya jahaan usane shovar chaaloo kiya. usane taink top ko apane sir ke oopar kheencha aur use pharsh par phenk diya phir sink ke bagal vaale kauntar se ek heyar klip pakadee. apane kandhe kee lambaee vaale shyaamala baalon ko apane sir ke peechhe ikattha karake usane ise ek karl mein ghuma diya aur ise oopar kar diya taaki yah geela na ho.
sheeshe mein khud ko dekhakar usane aah bharee. "tum itanee buree ladakee ho, elijaabeth." usane shaitaanee muskaan ke saath kaha.
jaise hee liz ne khud ko aaeene mein dekha usakee muskaraahat dheere-dheere pheekee pad gaee. liz ko khud ko nagn dekhana pasand nahin tha. vah haee skool mein ladakon aur kolej mein yuva purushon mein se kisee kee pasand ke saath ek lokapriy ladakee thee. usane kolej mein kuchh modaling ka kaam bhee kiya tha, lekin ab jab vah 30 kee umr paar kar rahee thee, to vah apanee yuvaavastha kee yuva pharm mahila shareer ko dekhane ke lie taras rahee thee. vah abhee bhee kaaphee ethaletik thee aur saptaah mein kaee baar erobiks kakshaon mein bhaag letee thee lekin samay aur gurutvaakarshan apana prabhaav daal rahe the. vah ab 20 kee nahin thee. liz mudee aur shovar mein chadh gaee. garm paanee usakee tvacha par sukhadaayak mahasoos kar raha tha kyonki yah usake shareer par bah raha tha. garm dhundh mein usake shareer ko nigalate hue shovar stol mein bhaap bhar gaee.
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