31-05-2019, 02:49 PM
Whatever Gets You through the Night Pt. 09
"He's tryin' to survive up on Mulholland Drive,
he's got the phone in the car in his hand.
Ev'ybody's tryin' a be a friend of mine.
Even a dog can shake hands.
He wants twenty percen' cause he knew you back when.
Now, they all want a piece of the band.
Ev'ybody's tryin' a be a friend of mine
Even a dog can shake hands."
-Warren Zevon, "Even A Dog Can Shake Hands"
A short time before parts of La Collina began exploding, Detective Inspector Luc Tomas Allaine and Generalissimo Hernando Ramirez strolled through the main gate of San Finzione Studios and across the lot to the office. The Generalissimo was dressed in civilian clothes, but still carried his sidearm.
"I have some idea of what I am doing here, Hernando." Luc told his old friend as they walked. "Don't you have some Armed Forces to Supremely Command?"
"By order of La Contessa," Hernando replied. "I am on paid training leave but to remain on call while you are in town. She is calling this 'counter-intelligence training.' By order of Violeta, La Contessa is not taking it out of the unused leave time I have already accrued. I owe them a holiday soon."
Luc had to think for a moment on that.
"That brings up something I'd never thought about before. You live 'Where the World Takes Its Vacation.' Where would you take your family for a holiday from this place? California? Hawaii? Florida? You have beaches, theme parks, and casinos already here! Unless you're keen on winter activities, where else would you go?"
"American comedians ask this question and suggest we enjoy going to New Jersey or Detroit. Having four official languages means that people like to go where they know at least one of them. Then there are the countries we have long-standing agreements with; Australia, Genovia, Svenborgia, Greece, and so on. Violeta likes to go to Spain and show El Niños their roots."
Although Luc had a badge and Ramirez was known to everyone in the country, they'd still been issued visitors' badges. Rounding a corner crossing between the rows of sets, Luc looked at the crowd of men and women in World War II period clothing milling about with men in SS and Wehrmacht uniforms.
"How do you spot a Nazi in a Nazi stack?" Luc asked Ramirez.
"I doubt that you are making a joke." He replied, surveying the milling crowd himself. "If the question was not rhetorical, I do not know."
"It was. Merely stating that if 'Aryan' and 'possibly dressed as a Nazi' was what we had to go on, this would be difficult."
Hernando agreed.
"'The Sword of San Finzione' was in what La Contessa tells me they call 'Production Hell' for almost a year. However, because she owns the studio, the film was absolutely going to get made. Actors and extras who look the part have been pouring into the city for the past few months hoping to be cast. If we didn't have a good sketch, Dietz could simply put on a costume and move about this place freely."
"Oui," Luc replied as they approached the office. "The Studio might, indeed, be a good place to hole up for that reason if it weren't too obvious a move for Dietz. He has a temper and is cruel to his subordinates, but he is still careful and no idiot. He'd suspect that we'd send people to the studio in the vain hope that one of these Nazis will suddenly turn around and be him."
Luc looked around to make certain no one else was in earshot before speaking to Hernando at a lower volume.
"La Contessa could come and use her ability and make this very quick."
Ramirez did the same before replying to Luc's statement about San Finzione's simultaneously worst-kept state secret and most popular urban legend.
"Si, she was able to confirm that the new director checks out. However, with all the people on the cast and crew of a big movie, gathering them into one place to do it to all of them at once would be impossible and one at a time or groups would take forever. If we weren't lucky enough to find him within the first couple groups, even if she made them forget, word would get out and tip off the spy."
Luc understood.
"And we may not even be looking for someone on the film itself. Anyone with access to the office could have gotten those. Why I told Fontaine and the others at the briefing to quietly look in on custodial staff at home, during their off-hours. We don't need the entire office crawling all over the studio questioning janitors to complicate our end of the investigation."
Ramirez smiled at the "our" in Luc's sentence. He said nothing more until they entered the office.
* * *
"He's tryin' to survive up on Mulholland Drive,
he's got the phone in the car in his hand.
Ev'ybody's tryin' a be a friend of mine.
Even a dog can shake hands.
He wants twenty percen' cause he knew you back when.
Now, they all want a piece of the band.
Ev'ybody's tryin' a be a friend of mine
Even a dog can shake hands."
-Warren Zevon, "Even A Dog Can Shake Hands"
A short time before parts of La Collina began exploding, Detective Inspector Luc Tomas Allaine and Generalissimo Hernando Ramirez strolled through the main gate of San Finzione Studios and across the lot to the office. The Generalissimo was dressed in civilian clothes, but still carried his sidearm.
"I have some idea of what I am doing here, Hernando." Luc told his old friend as they walked. "Don't you have some Armed Forces to Supremely Command?"
"By order of La Contessa," Hernando replied. "I am on paid training leave but to remain on call while you are in town. She is calling this 'counter-intelligence training.' By order of Violeta, La Contessa is not taking it out of the unused leave time I have already accrued. I owe them a holiday soon."
Luc had to think for a moment on that.
"That brings up something I'd never thought about before. You live 'Where the World Takes Its Vacation.' Where would you take your family for a holiday from this place? California? Hawaii? Florida? You have beaches, theme parks, and casinos already here! Unless you're keen on winter activities, where else would you go?"
"American comedians ask this question and suggest we enjoy going to New Jersey or Detroit. Having four official languages means that people like to go where they know at least one of them. Then there are the countries we have long-standing agreements with; Australia, Genovia, Svenborgia, Greece, and so on. Violeta likes to go to Spain and show El Niños their roots."
Although Luc had a badge and Ramirez was known to everyone in the country, they'd still been issued visitors' badges. Rounding a corner crossing between the rows of sets, Luc looked at the crowd of men and women in World War II period clothing milling about with men in SS and Wehrmacht uniforms.
"How do you spot a Nazi in a Nazi stack?" Luc asked Ramirez.
"I doubt that you are making a joke." He replied, surveying the milling crowd himself. "If the question was not rhetorical, I do not know."
"It was. Merely stating that if 'Aryan' and 'possibly dressed as a Nazi' was what we had to go on, this would be difficult."
Hernando agreed.
"'The Sword of San Finzione' was in what La Contessa tells me they call 'Production Hell' for almost a year. However, because she owns the studio, the film was absolutely going to get made. Actors and extras who look the part have been pouring into the city for the past few months hoping to be cast. If we didn't have a good sketch, Dietz could simply put on a costume and move about this place freely."
"Oui," Luc replied as they approached the office. "The Studio might, indeed, be a good place to hole up for that reason if it weren't too obvious a move for Dietz. He has a temper and is cruel to his subordinates, but he is still careful and no idiot. He'd suspect that we'd send people to the studio in the vain hope that one of these Nazis will suddenly turn around and be him."
Luc looked around to make certain no one else was in earshot before speaking to Hernando at a lower volume.
"La Contessa could come and use her ability and make this very quick."
Ramirez did the same before replying to Luc's statement about San Finzione's simultaneously worst-kept state secret and most popular urban legend.
"Si, she was able to confirm that the new director checks out. However, with all the people on the cast and crew of a big movie, gathering them into one place to do it to all of them at once would be impossible and one at a time or groups would take forever. If we weren't lucky enough to find him within the first couple groups, even if she made them forget, word would get out and tip off the spy."
Luc understood.
"And we may not even be looking for someone on the film itself. Anyone with access to the office could have gotten those. Why I told Fontaine and the others at the briefing to quietly look in on custodial staff at home, during their off-hours. We don't need the entire office crawling all over the studio questioning janitors to complicate our end of the investigation."
Ramirez smiled at the "our" in Luc's sentence. He said nothing more until they entered the office.
* * *
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