Incest A Son's Love for His Mother

[neerathemall]

My lust for my mother grew bigger and bigger, with every passing year, and at 22, I have reached such an extreme stage that I cannot sleep without flapping to my darling mother.

I love her and I care for her, and I wish the best for her, like every other son. I have the utmost respect for my mother.
But, the moment I enter my room and close the door, instinctual desires fill inside me, turning me into a dirty animal, desperately craving for his mother's mature pussy.
I was introduced to sex and to the world of porn when I was 18. I was still in high college when I turned 18 and was in my final year.
Internet at home gave me easy access to all kinds of adult videos, and while all my friends, who watched porn, fantasized about the girls in college, for some strange reason, I felt attracted to my mother.
Initially, I hated myself every time I had dirty thoughts about my mother. Images of her in her inner wear, or being touched inappropriately by strangers kept coming into my thoughts. I felt like I had no control over it, and soon found myself filled with remorse.
I stopped watching porn, and life was back to normal. I was, however, getting increasingly frustrated with my studies and personal life. It felt like I had no source of happiness, and I was getting depressed.
Peer pressure had also taken a toll on me. My best friends were all getting laid, and I did not even have a girlfriend.
My boring, tedious single life & my growing sexual needs left me with no other option than to start watching porn, again.
The second attempt at porn was a largely satisfying and rewarding experience. Explicit thoughts of my mom had stopped flashing in my mind, and I was thoroughly enjoying porn now.
I would at times think really indecent stuff about the girls in college and fap to them. But mostly I would be dry humping myself, on the bed, thinking about the scenes from the porn movie I last watched. Very soon, I was a proud porn addict.
My Senior Board Exams were almost here, and my poor results in the mock tests forced my parents to cancel the internet connection. I felt devastated.
I was missing my daily dose of adult content, and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt I could not even breathe. Such was my addiction to porn, I wanted it a thousand times more than a normal boy of my age would.
A months study leave was what I had to prepare for the exams. I found myself unable to do anything. I was told only to concentrate on studies, and not being allowed to leave my house meant that I was stuck at home, alone with my mother.
Yes, my mother!! And that is when I started to develop extremely sinful feelings for her. Having spent time with her for almost the whole of 1 week, I found scandalous images of my mother coming back into my mind.
She would be around me right from the morning till the time I slept, and spending so much time with her had the devil in my mind creeping out.
I found myself checking out her curvy body, her firm boobs and I was always trying to catch a glimpse of her cleavage.
I realized everything else I was doing to keep myself sexually engaged, was to keep myself away from lusting for my mother. I realized I was watching porn only because I wanted the shots from porn to replace the lewd thoughts about my mother. I realized I was fapping to my classmates only to stop myself from wanting to masturbate to my mother.
I realized it was my mother I really wanted, and I am filled with feelings for her, a son should never have for his mother.
That night I could not sleep. All I could do was imagine my mother as the female subject in the umpteen porn movies I had watched, and myself as the male pleasing her. All I could do was imagine being on the bed with her.
I was hard. I could feel my young virgin cock throbbing with excitement, and I rushed to the washroom to shoot out my load for her.
I tried masturbating and thinking about my mother, but even after being completely overtaken by lust, I just could not stroke myself to an orgasm. Instead, I started thinking about how my mother grew me up. I started thinking about my dad.
My dad was my superhero, always working hard for us. I could never do something that would hurt him. And I cursed myself for wanting to own his wife - my mother.
I was upset, tired, and confused. I told myself I will never think dirty about my mother, for the sake of my dad, and our family.
But the question still remained - Would I have Fucked My Mother, otherwise?!
Next day, after waking up, I found it difficult to face my mother. I just could not look at her. All the courage I had built to shamelessly long for her, seemed to have been washed away.
I was stuck in a turmoil of feelings and emotions. I was angry at myself for having wanted something I should have never wished for.
I wanted to punish myself. I felt losing control over my life. I was sexually infuriated, and I started understanding how badly my addiction to porn has affected me, and my life.
I loved my mother, but I also found myself wanting her more and more, in ways she will never let me have her.
I, now, had only less than 3 weeks for my Board Exams, and I had still not started studying. I was well on my way to messing things up, and that is when the golden idea struck me.
"Why not ask my mother to help me study??" I thought.
I did not know if I wanted it so that I could be close to her, or if I really wanted her help to study. 'BOTH', was the answer, maybe. I wanted to start studying, but I also wanted her presence near me.
I knew it will not help me get rid of the lust I have for her. I knew it may make things worse. But such was my state of mind, I was not able to even convince myself to choose between right and wrong.
I was going to study, but only to be with my mother. All I wanted was a valid reason to be with her.
I was craving for her body, but I just could not accept it myself. I knew it was wrong, and wanting her help to prepare for the exams, was my way of trying to make a wrong, a right.
I found it impossible to make myself understand that I am her son, and she is my mother. I could only see myself as a young boy desiring for a mature woman, a scenario I had seen in few raunchy videos I had seen back then.
My mother was very happy when I asked her if she could help, and she immediately said yes. We started right away, and she sat next to me, just like I wished.
I was enjoying spending time with her, and I was also studying. In-fact I was studying more, and for longer hours, so that I could have her by my side even more.
I would go through the lessons, and then have my mother ask me questions. Soon my study time was close to 14 hours a day, and my mother was stuck with me, not able to do even her daily household duties.
She started asking me questions while in the kitchen, while she ironed clothes, and even as she watched her favorite shows on TV. I was with her all the time, and she was teaching me late into the night.
She would ask me questions in her nightwear, and the nighties & tight t-shirts she used to wear, gave me a wonderful idea of her majestic structure.
I loved it when she would stretch her arms during the mornings, sitting in front of me, wearing a sleeveless Kurti, or raise her hands to tie her hair. And in the process, give me a great view of her shiny-shaven armpits.
She would oil her hair as she asked me questions, then dry her hair after a hot shower, sit next to me, and sometimes come to check my notes right after her yoga session.
I honestly preferred her sweaty body over her clean fresh body, and even the aroma of her body was adding to my hunger for her.
Every day I had a new reason to be hard, and I was really enjoying my study time. Preparing for my Board Exams with a horny erect dick was a truly erotic experience.