24-05-2019, 04:12 PM
Whatever Gets You through the Night Pt. 07
"After the war in Paraguay
back in 1999,
I was laying low in Lima.
Working both sides of the borderline."
-Warren Zevon, "The Long Arm of the Law"
Scappa brought the limousine to a stop in front of the Visitors' Entrance to the Palace Wing of Castle Finzione. Out of both force of habit and belief that it was part of his duties as a Citizen of San Finzione and having been honored to serve as both Count Vincenzo and Contessa Helena's chauffer, he opened his door to get out and open the passenger's.
"S'alright, ol' fella, don't get up fer me." Nigel Mander told the old man as he opened his own door. "If ya don't mind poppin' the trunk, though, the rest's all stuff I do at home."
Scappa did so. The tall, bald man in the John Lennon sunglasses stepped into the morning sun of San Finzione. He got the two duffel bags he'd brought along out of the trunk. The first thumped as he hefted it over his shoulder. The second made lots of clattering metal sounds when he did the same. He shut the trunk and waved for Scappa to drive on before walking to the door.
One of the two guards reached for his metal-detecting wand, when the other motioned for him not to bother. He opened the door, where a page was waiting inside.
"Mr. Mander, sir." the page said. "La Contessa is awaiting you in the Ballroom. Walk this way."
"Just Mander, thanks. Imagine ya get sick of 'sirring' all day. And I can't, mate." Mander replied as he walked in and followed. "Not wit' these bags, and they look a bit big fer you."
"I understand, Mander." He replied as they walked. "My instructions from La Contessa were to phrase it that way to set you up for the joke of your choice. And I thank you for it. The guard outside who wanted to wand you? I had a ten euro bet with him that you wouldn't go for one about your arms being tired. I won."
Mander smiled at the young man and stepped forward to walk beside him. He looked down at the page.
"Ya seem like a geezer, kid. I'm plannin' to be here a day or two, and like 'Er Countessness, I weren't born to all this. Any of it, really. So, what's a bloke who ain't gonna feel right callin' ya 'Page' the whole time I'm here call ya?"
"Nunzio, sir. Mander." Nunzio the Page replied.
Nunzio led Mander to the door to the Ballroom and opened it for him. Mander investigated the darkened room beyond.
"Lights're off." He said.
"La Contessa assured me that she is awaiting you, Mander." Nunzio replied.
"Why yes, I am." A familiar voice came from loudspeakers within. "Won't you come join me, Mander?" She asked ominously.
Nunzio looked at Mander's bags.
"Are you going to be bringing weapons in there?"
"Yeah," Mander said off-handedly. "But she expects that."
"I dooooo!" Helen replied in a ghost voice. "It's ok, Nunzioooooooh!"
Nunzio nodded and held the door for Mander. Mander stepped in. Nunzio closed the door.
"Welcome to Castle Finzione, Mander." Helen's voice boomed from everywhere and nowhere, bouncing off the marble of the entire room. "We've been... expecting you!"
With a snap, the lights came on, revealing the grandeur of the room. Leaning over the Grand Balcony with a microphone and a huge grin was Contessa Helena de San Finzione. The big, bald merc returned the grin.
"Your Countessness has lost none of your flair for entrances. Even when it's me doing the entering."
"Figured I'd pay you back for that darkened corner." Helen replied as she set the mic down and began descending the stairs. "How's Bluey?"
"Somebody had to stay back home with The Birds." Mander replied, setting his bags down noisily. "Better since Your Countessness lifted the ban on Budweiser."
Bluey had been a friend of Mander's who'd lost his hearing and been reduced to taking the kind of shit jobs that are the only ones available to a handicapped mercenary with no other marketable skills than "killing people in exchange for money." When he took the shit job of "kill Contessa Helena de San Finzione" while Mander had the non-shit job of "protect Contessa Helena de San Finzione;" they recognized each other and Mander convinced Bluey to switch sides before he got killed with the others who'd taken the shit job.
"After the war in Paraguay
back in 1999,
I was laying low in Lima.
Working both sides of the borderline."
-Warren Zevon, "The Long Arm of the Law"
Scappa brought the limousine to a stop in front of the Visitors' Entrance to the Palace Wing of Castle Finzione. Out of both force of habit and belief that it was part of his duties as a Citizen of San Finzione and having been honored to serve as both Count Vincenzo and Contessa Helena's chauffer, he opened his door to get out and open the passenger's.
"S'alright, ol' fella, don't get up fer me." Nigel Mander told the old man as he opened his own door. "If ya don't mind poppin' the trunk, though, the rest's all stuff I do at home."
Scappa did so. The tall, bald man in the John Lennon sunglasses stepped into the morning sun of San Finzione. He got the two duffel bags he'd brought along out of the trunk. The first thumped as he hefted it over his shoulder. The second made lots of clattering metal sounds when he did the same. He shut the trunk and waved for Scappa to drive on before walking to the door.
One of the two guards reached for his metal-detecting wand, when the other motioned for him not to bother. He opened the door, where a page was waiting inside.
"Mr. Mander, sir." the page said. "La Contessa is awaiting you in the Ballroom. Walk this way."
"Just Mander, thanks. Imagine ya get sick of 'sirring' all day. And I can't, mate." Mander replied as he walked in and followed. "Not wit' these bags, and they look a bit big fer you."
"I understand, Mander." He replied as they walked. "My instructions from La Contessa were to phrase it that way to set you up for the joke of your choice. And I thank you for it. The guard outside who wanted to wand you? I had a ten euro bet with him that you wouldn't go for one about your arms being tired. I won."
Mander smiled at the young man and stepped forward to walk beside him. He looked down at the page.
"Ya seem like a geezer, kid. I'm plannin' to be here a day or two, and like 'Er Countessness, I weren't born to all this. Any of it, really. So, what's a bloke who ain't gonna feel right callin' ya 'Page' the whole time I'm here call ya?"
"Nunzio, sir. Mander." Nunzio the Page replied.
Nunzio led Mander to the door to the Ballroom and opened it for him. Mander investigated the darkened room beyond.
"Lights're off." He said.
"La Contessa assured me that she is awaiting you, Mander." Nunzio replied.
"Why yes, I am." A familiar voice came from loudspeakers within. "Won't you come join me, Mander?" She asked ominously.
Nunzio looked at Mander's bags.
"Are you going to be bringing weapons in there?"
"Yeah," Mander said off-handedly. "But she expects that."
"I dooooo!" Helen replied in a ghost voice. "It's ok, Nunzioooooooh!"
Nunzio nodded and held the door for Mander. Mander stepped in. Nunzio closed the door.
"Welcome to Castle Finzione, Mander." Helen's voice boomed from everywhere and nowhere, bouncing off the marble of the entire room. "We've been... expecting you!"
With a snap, the lights came on, revealing the grandeur of the room. Leaning over the Grand Balcony with a microphone and a huge grin was Contessa Helena de San Finzione. The big, bald merc returned the grin.
"Your Countessness has lost none of your flair for entrances. Even when it's me doing the entering."
"Figured I'd pay you back for that darkened corner." Helen replied as she set the mic down and began descending the stairs. "How's Bluey?"
"Somebody had to stay back home with The Birds." Mander replied, setting his bags down noisily. "Better since Your Countessness lifted the ban on Budweiser."
Bluey had been a friend of Mander's who'd lost his hearing and been reduced to taking the kind of shit jobs that are the only ones available to a handicapped mercenary with no other marketable skills than "killing people in exchange for money." When he took the shit job of "kill Contessa Helena de San Finzione" while Mander had the non-shit job of "protect Contessa Helena de San Finzione;" they recognized each other and Mander convinced Bluey to switch sides before he got killed with the others who'd taken the shit job.
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