14-06-2022, 04:06 PM
(This post was last modified: 14-06-2022, 04:27 PM by critic_honest. Edited 2 times in total. Edited 2 times in total.)
Dear Author,
I randomly started reading this story expecting nothing much from the story and I hontesly thought it would be just waste of time as now a days I don't think there is much content left on this forum (Other than works of Krish_999)and to be honest I initially had this mindset that this story also would end up just like all other stories on Xossipy where sex part happens without any logic & within a few updates as if we are watching some porn. Most Authors miss the fact that there is a big difference between a sex story and porn. Sex stories needs brains which is hard to find in stories.
But I was sooo glad to find my assumptions about you wrong and as I kept advancing with the story, I got intrigued & really started liking the concept & content you put here. No doubt, You have great skills and your imaginations are outstanding as an author.
The concept of bringing a Negro into the life of a loving and loyal married woman is really interesting. (although ,I do wished and wanted Kavita to have good sexual relations with her husband and wish she was not that sex starved like you have shown her. In that case how this Negro would have still managed to seduce Kavita would have been more interesting, as it always becomes easy to seduce some sex starved woman but nevertheless)
I admire your thinking of out of box regarding some kinky episodes you put in there. The conversation you put among characters is really good and very realistic.The kinky incidents where Kavita for the first time sniffs her hand after shaking hand with that Negro had really put us on edge and the part where Kavita gets thrilled after seeing the raita were really exciting in it own way. Although she hated him for doing those thing and as a matter of fact hated herself as well for doing such kinkly stuff but still her body liked it. Such incidents were really exciting. You truly have talent.
But let me be honest and hope you will take my comments in a positive manner.
I feel the pace at which you are moving the story and making Kavita seduce more and more day by day is quite fast and doesn't sound that realistic. That Negro's Boldness is increasing day by day which doesn't look that natural. Kavita should gather some courage and should make that Negro feel that she is not some easy woman who can be seduced that easily. We are seeing ,this Negro guy is not scared of Kavita even a bit and has the audacity to say anything he wants to and still Kavita doesn't retaliate much. Although Kavita tries to control but she shows timid personality in front of that Negro which she needs to work on.
She needs to embolden herself and should stand her grounds and needs to fight back so that it gets hard for the neighbour to seduce her. For instance when he said "I know what made ya sad miss Patail" , then Kavita should have reverted back at least something. Making her so weak and timid in front of that Negro doesnt look realistic. As per kavita's character she is an educated ,independent and loving wife and making her so weak and timid doesn't approve. I know she is fighting from within but she needs to show more courage.
This concept where Husband doesn't take care of his wife and in turn the wife finds an alternative to bed is obsolete and boring but you have still managed to turn this scenario into an exciting one for which you need an applaud. Don't make Kavita so easy for negro or it will ruin your story.
Trust me the day you make Kavita fuck that Negro, is the day when excitement of the starts diminishing. Kavita is an indian married woman who has a husband and has 2 daughters. We can not expect her to jump into bed with any person so easily. She should not let that Negro take the hint that she is a desperate woman and she is ready to get seduced. Recently Kavita witnessed negro masturbating and accidentally he phone ring sound was heard by him. I hope Kavita can stand her grounds confidently when that negro asks him why she was there and if she saw anything. Kavita can't let that negro believe that she was eavesdropping on him and she saw anything.She with utter confidence can simply deny to his face that she has no idea what he was doing. Now I feel if he returns that cum stained duppata to her, will she at least become angry? Waiting to see her reaction. If Still kavita doesnt say anything, that negro will get to know that she is a easy pray which makes the story boring.
She can not let that Negro feel that she is becoming easy for him. Negro should proceed but he should think twice before doing anything as he should have some fear that it might back fire at him and Kavita might not like it.
Dear Author ,I have a request that even in future after kavita gets fucked by Negro, Please do not turn Kavita into a slut's character otherwise it would again turn out to be among those stories where no brain or logic is used. Let Kavita always fight herself. Proceed with a slow build up with realistic approach.Trust me this story has a great calibre and it could turn out to be a great success.
Do not listen to anyone and proceed with the storyline that way you want to as at last it's your story and you have every right to do so.
Keep up the good work.
I randomly started reading this story expecting nothing much from the story and I hontesly thought it would be just waste of time as now a days I don't think there is much content left on this forum (Other than works of Krish_999)and to be honest I initially had this mindset that this story also would end up just like all other stories on Xossipy where sex part happens without any logic & within a few updates as if we are watching some porn. Most Authors miss the fact that there is a big difference between a sex story and porn. Sex stories needs brains which is hard to find in stories.
But I was sooo glad to find my assumptions about you wrong and as I kept advancing with the story, I got intrigued & really started liking the concept & content you put here. No doubt, You have great skills and your imaginations are outstanding as an author.
The concept of bringing a Negro into the life of a loving and loyal married woman is really interesting. (although ,I do wished and wanted Kavita to have good sexual relations with her husband and wish she was not that sex starved like you have shown her. In that case how this Negro would have still managed to seduce Kavita would have been more interesting, as it always becomes easy to seduce some sex starved woman but nevertheless)
I admire your thinking of out of box regarding some kinky episodes you put in there. The conversation you put among characters is really good and very realistic.The kinky incidents where Kavita for the first time sniffs her hand after shaking hand with that Negro had really put us on edge and the part where Kavita gets thrilled after seeing the raita were really exciting in it own way. Although she hated him for doing those thing and as a matter of fact hated herself as well for doing such kinkly stuff but still her body liked it. Such incidents were really exciting. You truly have talent.
But let me be honest and hope you will take my comments in a positive manner.
I feel the pace at which you are moving the story and making Kavita seduce more and more day by day is quite fast and doesn't sound that realistic. That Negro's Boldness is increasing day by day which doesn't look that natural. Kavita should gather some courage and should make that Negro feel that she is not some easy woman who can be seduced that easily. We are seeing ,this Negro guy is not scared of Kavita even a bit and has the audacity to say anything he wants to and still Kavita doesn't retaliate much. Although Kavita tries to control but she shows timid personality in front of that Negro which she needs to work on.
She needs to embolden herself and should stand her grounds and needs to fight back so that it gets hard for the neighbour to seduce her. For instance when he said "I know what made ya sad miss Patail" , then Kavita should have reverted back at least something. Making her so weak and timid in front of that Negro doesnt look realistic. As per kavita's character she is an educated ,independent and loving wife and making her so weak and timid doesn't approve. I know she is fighting from within but she needs to show more courage.
This concept where Husband doesn't take care of his wife and in turn the wife finds an alternative to bed is obsolete and boring but you have still managed to turn this scenario into an exciting one for which you need an applaud. Don't make Kavita so easy for negro or it will ruin your story.
Trust me the day you make Kavita fuck that Negro, is the day when excitement of the starts diminishing. Kavita is an indian married woman who has a husband and has 2 daughters. We can not expect her to jump into bed with any person so easily. She should not let that Negro take the hint that she is a desperate woman and she is ready to get seduced. Recently Kavita witnessed negro masturbating and accidentally he phone ring sound was heard by him. I hope Kavita can stand her grounds confidently when that negro asks him why she was there and if she saw anything. Kavita can't let that negro believe that she was eavesdropping on him and she saw anything.She with utter confidence can simply deny to his face that she has no idea what he was doing. Now I feel if he returns that cum stained duppata to her, will she at least become angry? Waiting to see her reaction. If Still kavita doesnt say anything, that negro will get to know that she is a easy pray which makes the story boring.
She can not let that Negro feel that she is becoming easy for him. Negro should proceed but he should think twice before doing anything as he should have some fear that it might back fire at him and Kavita might not like it.
Dear Author ,I have a request that even in future after kavita gets fucked by Negro, Please do not turn Kavita into a slut's character otherwise it would again turn out to be among those stories where no brain or logic is used. Let Kavita always fight herself. Proceed with a slow build up with realistic approach.Trust me this story has a great calibre and it could turn out to be a great success.
Do not listen to anyone and proceed with the storyline that way you want to as at last it's your story and you have every right to do so.
Keep up the good work.
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