09-12-2021, 05:00 PM
All these incidents and closeness and made me so craze on him. I tried to find every possible excuse to spend time with him. Even at this time, my mind was not completely sexually turned to him. I had a liking for his companionship and my heartfelt wish that I want to be close to him always.
Usually, when I return from the office, we both used to cook. But nowadays mostly I like to spend time with him outside. Therefore, I skip cooking at home, and I force him to go to dine out. I dress well, take him to nice restaurants, and have dinner. I felt happy dining with him in a romantic restaurant arrangement.
I enjoyed if someone looked at us thinking of us as lovers. I felt that Kishore has all the characteristic features that I would expect in my husband. I discouraged this thought, “Hey why you are comparing him to husband?” I consoled myself that this is not a wrong thought.
In society, there are many girls who seek a future husband to have characters like her father, brother. Similarly, many boys say that they want his mother qualities with his future wife. I consoled myself that my thought of comparing Kishore’s qualities as of husband is not wrong.
As my love for him has grown, I took every chance to do something good for him. I enjoyed shopping with him and buying him branded clothes. I made him dress in trial room and chose the best dresses for him. I took so much care of him and started spending lavishly on him.
On multiple occasions, I bought him different, different gifts like. Few books related to Movies, exercise equipment, Protein shakes, and the latest model iPhone. Kishore scolded me every time when I got some expensive gift for him. He advised me to save it for my future.
I simply ignore his request and play the deaf ear to his suggestions. In due course, unconsciously, without realization, I fell in love with him. I discovered this when I felt uncomfortable with his certain qualities that I admired in the past. I felt very disappointed and unhappy when he physically kept a distance from me.
I loved and wished that he should sit next to me on the sofa and watch the movie. I cursed him why this idiot is maintaining distance. When I enjoyed watching a romantic song or scene with him on TV, he switched channels. I found this a bit frustrating.
I wondered why he should not watch a romantic movie and a song with me. We both comment on the act in the movie scene. My heart felt that he got all the right to sit next to me, and put his hands casually on my shoulders and watch TV. Why even hands, if he wants he can sleep on my lap and watch TV.
My mind started dreaming crazy expectations with him. Slowly my desire for his physical closeness exceeded day by day. I started expecting more from him. I felt like I need his hug and pampering me like a baby. I expected he should have hugged and shared his congrats when I told about my promotion in office.
I longed for his hug on my birthday. Whereas he just gently wished me with flowers and a cake. As my desire and frustration started growing over lack of his physical closeness, Moral security officer Pooja inside me started questioning me.
“Hey Pooja, what you are doing? Where your desires are heading? What is this? Why are you expecting this kind of relationship with him? Don’t you think this is too much? He is just your brother in law and you are a responsible married woman with your hubby abroad”
Shocked by my moral voice I first time realized, “I think my desires are a bit out of normal.” But the romantic Pooja did not want to give up her desires and started justifying her actions to Moral Pooja in a strong voice.
“Hey look, I love Kishore so much. I am not exceeding any limits. I am not expecting sex with him or him to fuck me. All I am expecting is to be physically closer like hugging him. Kishore sleeping on my lap and putting hands on my shoulders. He feeds me with his hands.”
“I consider this is within the socially acceptable limits of a very understanding lovely brother in law and sister in law. In the worst case, if we exceed slightly our limit and Kishore needs my physical love, who are you ask this? I will serve him what he wants. This is completely a private matter of a lovely SIL and BIL. Please do not poke your nose in it.”
Though my romantic expectation of Kishore is high, I practically know that there is zero chance for this to happen. He is too gentle with me. There is no way he can come forward to the extent where I am expecting his love. Similarly, I am also not a type of girl where I can go so cheap to flirting or seducing him like B grade porn.
Even if I decide to try anything wild, it may highly backfire on me. He is very concerned with my future. He will think that the root cause of all this problem is being together with me. He will not take a minute to go away from this home. That will be a great blow for me.
Losing his relationship is the biggest disaster than my current love and lust for him. My unfortunate situation and the frustration of his distance from me has disturbed me a lot. I lost focus on my work. My mind always started to be in a dream with him.
I started imagining that he is closer to me and started fantasizing him. I questioned myself, “Hey all these are related to infatuation? Or sexual attraction on the opposite sex as I am missing real sex with my hubby?” After thinking a lot and experimenting (masturbating) I felt that my desire for him did not come down.
I felt that this is some special feeling I am having on Kishore. My desperate helpless situation killed me a lot. Lost focus on work. I made many silly mistakes in my office work. I was unable to focus clearly on anything. I got angry at silly things.
##
Usually, when I return from the office, we both used to cook. But nowadays mostly I like to spend time with him outside. Therefore, I skip cooking at home, and I force him to go to dine out. I dress well, take him to nice restaurants, and have dinner. I felt happy dining with him in a romantic restaurant arrangement.
I enjoyed if someone looked at us thinking of us as lovers. I felt that Kishore has all the characteristic features that I would expect in my husband. I discouraged this thought, “Hey why you are comparing him to husband?” I consoled myself that this is not a wrong thought.
In society, there are many girls who seek a future husband to have characters like her father, brother. Similarly, many boys say that they want his mother qualities with his future wife. I consoled myself that my thought of comparing Kishore’s qualities as of husband is not wrong.
As my love for him has grown, I took every chance to do something good for him. I enjoyed shopping with him and buying him branded clothes. I made him dress in trial room and chose the best dresses for him. I took so much care of him and started spending lavishly on him.
On multiple occasions, I bought him different, different gifts like. Few books related to Movies, exercise equipment, Protein shakes, and the latest model iPhone. Kishore scolded me every time when I got some expensive gift for him. He advised me to save it for my future.
I simply ignore his request and play the deaf ear to his suggestions. In due course, unconsciously, without realization, I fell in love with him. I discovered this when I felt uncomfortable with his certain qualities that I admired in the past. I felt very disappointed and unhappy when he physically kept a distance from me.
I loved and wished that he should sit next to me on the sofa and watch the movie. I cursed him why this idiot is maintaining distance. When I enjoyed watching a romantic song or scene with him on TV, he switched channels. I found this a bit frustrating.
I wondered why he should not watch a romantic movie and a song with me. We both comment on the act in the movie scene. My heart felt that he got all the right to sit next to me, and put his hands casually on my shoulders and watch TV. Why even hands, if he wants he can sleep on my lap and watch TV.
My mind started dreaming crazy expectations with him. Slowly my desire for his physical closeness exceeded day by day. I started expecting more from him. I felt like I need his hug and pampering me like a baby. I expected he should have hugged and shared his congrats when I told about my promotion in office.
I longed for his hug on my birthday. Whereas he just gently wished me with flowers and a cake. As my desire and frustration started growing over lack of his physical closeness, Moral security officer Pooja inside me started questioning me.
“Hey Pooja, what you are doing? Where your desires are heading? What is this? Why are you expecting this kind of relationship with him? Don’t you think this is too much? He is just your brother in law and you are a responsible married woman with your hubby abroad”
Shocked by my moral voice I first time realized, “I think my desires are a bit out of normal.” But the romantic Pooja did not want to give up her desires and started justifying her actions to Moral Pooja in a strong voice.
“Hey look, I love Kishore so much. I am not exceeding any limits. I am not expecting sex with him or him to fuck me. All I am expecting is to be physically closer like hugging him. Kishore sleeping on my lap and putting hands on my shoulders. He feeds me with his hands.”
“I consider this is within the socially acceptable limits of a very understanding lovely brother in law and sister in law. In the worst case, if we exceed slightly our limit and Kishore needs my physical love, who are you ask this? I will serve him what he wants. This is completely a private matter of a lovely SIL and BIL. Please do not poke your nose in it.”
Though my romantic expectation of Kishore is high, I practically know that there is zero chance for this to happen. He is too gentle with me. There is no way he can come forward to the extent where I am expecting his love. Similarly, I am also not a type of girl where I can go so cheap to flirting or seducing him like B grade porn.
Even if I decide to try anything wild, it may highly backfire on me. He is very concerned with my future. He will think that the root cause of all this problem is being together with me. He will not take a minute to go away from this home. That will be a great blow for me.
Losing his relationship is the biggest disaster than my current love and lust for him. My unfortunate situation and the frustration of his distance from me has disturbed me a lot. I lost focus on my work. My mind always started to be in a dream with him.
I started imagining that he is closer to me and started fantasizing him. I questioned myself, “Hey all these are related to infatuation? Or sexual attraction on the opposite sex as I am missing real sex with my hubby?” After thinking a lot and experimenting (masturbating) I felt that my desire for him did not come down.
I felt that this is some special feeling I am having on Kishore. My desperate helpless situation killed me a lot. Lost focus on work. I made many silly mistakes in my office work. I was unable to focus clearly on anything. I got angry at silly things.
##
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