11-10-2021, 04:49 PM
Chapter 5
Lunch for Rudra was a blur. His head was spinning with the things that Nikesh had told him. Several times Nikita, Soni or Nikesh spoke to him and he didn’t hear them. Finally, when lunch was over, Nikita asked Rudra to join her for a walk in the gardens. Soni was a bit miffed but Rudra promised to stay longer to see her yearbook.
Nikita led Rudra outside and down a flower lined path, her arm in his. They walked silently for a while and then sat on a bench. The trees were swaying with the gentle breeze and there was a strong smell of sweet flowers in the air. Nikita sat close to Rudra, their thighs touching.
“I love it out here. It’s so peaceful. Everything seems so clear,” she said as she leaned into Rudra. “Nikesh told you that he has cancer didn’t he?”
“Yes. I had no idea. How long have you known?”
“A couple of months.”
“Nikita… he… he also told me that you told him what happened between us. God Nikita, was that necessary?”
“Yes, I think it was. Nikesh and I have a relationship built on honesty. From the very beginning we have always been honest about our needs and desires. It is the thing that has kept our marriage good. I couldn’t live with that kind of secret. Listen Rudra, I always knew that when I married an older man there was a possibility that… that sexually there could be problems eventually. I also knew that I would be a relatively young widow. Somehow that didn’t seem to matter when you love someone. And, I do love Nikesh… more than ever.” Nikita turned to Rudra and took his hand. She had tears in her eyes. “I need to stay strong for him. All this stuff with the trial makes it that much harder to take.” She looked away again and then said, “Rudra, I’m sorry he brought you into this on one level. However on a personal level, I’m glad he did. It’s been too long.”
“I’m glad he thought enough of me to ask for help,” Rudra responded. “I acted like a kid after… after… well you know. Maybe it’s time to start over and forget about the past. I’m glad he doesn’t hate me for what happened. I have to make it up to him.”
“He doesn’t hate you. We talked for a long time about that. He understands,” Nikita said and paused again, looking meaningfully at Rudra and squeezed his hand. “He really understands,” she said again when she saw a strange look on Rudra’s face. “Rudra… Nikesh and I… well… oh damn, this is hard. Our… our sexual relationship has been non-existent for years. It’s not because he doesn’t want to do anything. He has had medical problems in the past and now the cancer…” Nikita said and her voice began to crack with her emotions.
“Nikita, you don’t…” Rudra started to say when Nikita touched his lips with her fingers.
“I know I don’t have to tell you this. But, I want to.” She turned and looked away. “I know that sex isn’t everything. But the desire is there and I can’t deny it. It’s why what happened between us happened. I’m only human. But, I’ve never done anything with anyone else,” she added. She placed her hand on Rudra’s thigh. “Even though Nikesh said I could. It was always too much of a risk.”
Lunch for Rudra was a blur. His head was spinning with the things that Nikesh had told him. Several times Nikita, Soni or Nikesh spoke to him and he didn’t hear them. Finally, when lunch was over, Nikita asked Rudra to join her for a walk in the gardens. Soni was a bit miffed but Rudra promised to stay longer to see her yearbook.
Nikita led Rudra outside and down a flower lined path, her arm in his. They walked silently for a while and then sat on a bench. The trees were swaying with the gentle breeze and there was a strong smell of sweet flowers in the air. Nikita sat close to Rudra, their thighs touching.
“I love it out here. It’s so peaceful. Everything seems so clear,” she said as she leaned into Rudra. “Nikesh told you that he has cancer didn’t he?”
“Yes. I had no idea. How long have you known?”
“A couple of months.”
“Nikita… he… he also told me that you told him what happened between us. God Nikita, was that necessary?”
“Yes, I think it was. Nikesh and I have a relationship built on honesty. From the very beginning we have always been honest about our needs and desires. It is the thing that has kept our marriage good. I couldn’t live with that kind of secret. Listen Rudra, I always knew that when I married an older man there was a possibility that… that sexually there could be problems eventually. I also knew that I would be a relatively young widow. Somehow that didn’t seem to matter when you love someone. And, I do love Nikesh… more than ever.” Nikita turned to Rudra and took his hand. She had tears in her eyes. “I need to stay strong for him. All this stuff with the trial makes it that much harder to take.” She looked away again and then said, “Rudra, I’m sorry he brought you into this on one level. However on a personal level, I’m glad he did. It’s been too long.”
“I’m glad he thought enough of me to ask for help,” Rudra responded. “I acted like a kid after… after… well you know. Maybe it’s time to start over and forget about the past. I’m glad he doesn’t hate me for what happened. I have to make it up to him.”
“He doesn’t hate you. We talked for a long time about that. He understands,” Nikita said and paused again, looking meaningfully at Rudra and squeezed his hand. “He really understands,” she said again when she saw a strange look on Rudra’s face. “Rudra… Nikesh and I… well… oh damn, this is hard. Our… our sexual relationship has been non-existent for years. It’s not because he doesn’t want to do anything. He has had medical problems in the past and now the cancer…” Nikita said and her voice began to crack with her emotions.
“Nikita, you don’t…” Rudra started to say when Nikita touched his lips with her fingers.
“I know I don’t have to tell you this. But, I want to.” She turned and looked away. “I know that sex isn’t everything. But the desire is there and I can’t deny it. It’s why what happened between us happened. I’m only human. But, I’ve never done anything with anyone else,” she added. She placed her hand on Rudra’s thigh. “Even though Nikesh said I could. It was always too much of a risk.”
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