21-04-2019, 01:02 PM
DIARY OF A LOSER
PART6
Staff meetings were never my strong point. Staff meetings on Monday mornings drove me to distraction. I could not concentrate on anything. To make matters worse, the intensity of pressure at work seemed about to redouble. FutureMedia had managed to get its hooks into one of the biggest and most important contracts in its existence, and we were going to have to pull out all the stops to bring it off.
The meeting had just started when Ritikha made her entrance five minutes late. People had just settled in, mugs of coffee positioned, piles of papers shuffled. Everyone stopped listening. Ravi continued talking for a sentence or two more before he stopped.
“Hi, Ritikha. Welcome. You look nice this morning,” he said.
“Sorry I’m late. Thank you.” She said briskly, avoiding his eyes on her.
Were they an item? Office rumors abound about that, I could now conclusively say something was in the air. I saw Shekhar Malik who was also in the meeting hide a smile. I made up my mind to have a lengthy talk with him on the subject.
The staff meeting was one of those nerve wracking battles where everything is happening at more than one level at the same time. I tried to focus on what Ravi was saying. Long-term relationship. Win-win situation. Security. It was unbearable. At last, with lunch in sight, the battle seemed to be won. We would go ahead with the deal. The final negotiations would be on Thursday and Friday, the signing would happen on Monday. Our key team would have to fly up north to our client’s head office to clinch the deal. Consensus was reached. college was out.
I went straight to the bathroom. I wanted to rest my forehead against the cool tiles. I tried to stay with my breath while I zipped myself up. Ravi came in while I was drying my hands. I saw him in the mirror.
“You all right, old chap?” It was Ravi. He came bustling in, laden with files, dumped them by the basins, and went over for a piss.
“I am fine,” I said.
“Tell me, Rajiv,” said Ravi from his place, “you have any idea how to present our proposal?”
“Sorry?”
"I was thinking that making a very nice document would help."
"What do you mean?”
"Why don't we hire a professional photographer to make a photo for the cover with a sexy woman model? This is the big game. Real stakes. I want everything to go all right for us."
I got a feeling that the fact that he was talking to me out of the boardroom meant something good. He fixed me with a penetrating, enigmatic stare. “Come with me to lunch. I want to discuss these negotiations.” And I had the distinct sensation he was escorting me out, making sure he did not leave me behind in the toilet…
Ravi heightened my anxiety at lunch. Midway through lunch he bent forward over the table and said, "I was thinking of proposing your wife on the cover of our proposal document."
I was wordless. What exactly did he mean?
"Your wife's really a lovely looking woman, she would be just fine on our cover!"
I immediately grew suspicious.
"Yes, she's beautiful," I finally acknowledged. "But I don't think she'll like that," I responded to his words.
"I'm serious," he changed his tone. It sounded like he really might be serious. "A friend of mine owns a photo studio. I talked to Monisha about it the other day at the party."
"Really," I briefly looked up, pretending to sound disinterested. I hoped the look in my eyes would drive him away. In truth, I felt anything but disinterest.
Monisha hadn't mentioned anything about Ravi's proposal.
"You mean she didn't tell you?" He questioned the surprised look in my eyes. "I'm surprised she didn't tell!"
I thought of Monisha's response to this proposal. An image formed in my mind. I pictured Monisha appearing seductive on the company document. I had a difficult time imagining Monisha talking to Ravi about this stupid photo session, yet I was beginning to have second thoughts. The fact that she chose to hide it from me made me suspicious. I remember how Monisha kept asking me about Ravi at breakfast the day after the party.
Further images formed in my mind. This time it was of Monisha in a photo studio. I imagined her on display. Then I thought about all the sensuous poses Ravi would ask her to do.
"Just an idea," he straightened back up and got ready to leave.
My heart was racing; I felt all of the energy drain from my body. "Who the fuck does Ravi Sohay think he is asking my wife to pose for the company document?" The more I thought of it, the more I found myself nervous. When I plucked up enough nerve to tell Monisha that night, I was surprised by her reaction. I expected absolute outrage. Instead, she said nothing for a couple of minutes.
Eventually she asked, 'What was your reaction when he said that?'
Perplexed by the calmness of her response, I said I thought it was a bad idea.
'It's flattering though, that he would have thought of me for the cover picture, isn't it?' She'd obviously had given it a lot of thoughts.
'Yeah .... But I really can't see you doing that."
'Oh yeah?' she said; and then after a moment's pause, she went on, 'God, you know I would never do something like that, it's just that a wife would love to know how much her husband values her ...'.
'Trouble is .... Oh hell darling, I don't want all the guys at the office leering at you.'
'Don't be daft, they wouldn't do that. At least I don't think they would; but you never know, do you?' she said teasingly after a moment's thought.
I was incredibly turned on by her suggestion and I think she was too, because her breathing was getting quicker. I decided to wind it up because I was beginning to noticeably shake and wanted to take her to bed.
'Wow ... that'd be terrible!' I said sarcastically, 'Look I'm sorry darling, but I reckon you quite like the thought of showing your pictures around to all my mates, despite what you say....'
"Oh what a crazy thought, other men staring at me...” Monisha said as she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me.
"Really?" I said, "Of course. I often hear them talking about you and when I go up to them, they clam up and change the subject."
Monisha looked at me and I asked, "Does that make you hot knowing other men want me?"
We laughed together, but only for an instant. I threw my arms around my wife and kissed her with an eager hunger. Monisha was now worked up, and I was not about to let the moment pass. I had waited for this kind of passion and excitement that had been missing for some time. That night, sex was extraordinary between us.
The next morning I kissed Monisha as I prepared to leave for work. "You know I love you don't you? Last night was wonderful," I said.
"Remember you can't work late Friday," she said. "You have to be home in time to get ready for the party."
I remembered one of our senior directors Mr. Desi called me few days ago and invited us for a birthday party. He invited everyone in our office. Mrs. Desi also invited Monisha and other stuff member’s wife separately over phone.
"What time do we have to be there?" I asked.
“Mrs. Desi said the party will be starting at 6 o'clock. I want to be there no later than 6:30," Monisha replied. "So you need to be home by 5 o'clock to get ready."
"Okay, why don’t meet me at the office and we leave together from there."
“Yeah, that’s a good idea. But what puts you in such a jolly mood?”
“Our night of passion,” I said teasingly.
On Friday I had all but closed my last case. The problem was it was going to be very difficult to get everything done by five o'clock like I promised Monisha.
When I called my wife that I was going to have a hard time getting done by five, she was annoyed.
"You promised," she said.
"I know and I am sorry but I am so close I just have to close this before I leave."
She did not even reply.
"Monisha, you don't have to wait for me. If I am not finished on time, go without me." I said. "I'll get there as soon as I can."
"I don't want to go without you," she said. "I guess I’ll just hang around and wait for you at the office."
"I'll do the best I can to get done by 6:30."
Monisha didn't say anymore about it.
It was 7 o'clock when I finished the last of the reports. I immediately went looking for Monisha, knowing she would have to be waiting for me at the reception since most offices in the building were closed.
When I walked in the reception room, I saw Ravi was sitting with Monisha and seemed deep in conversation with her. I could feel a knot forming in my stomach. I knew that if I said or did anything wrong, Monisha would be angry at me and accuse me of being jealous and she would be right.
Monisha immediately rose to her feet when she saw me.
"Oh, Rajiv is here to drive you to the party, isn't it?" Ravi said when he in turn saw me.
"That's right," I said. I turned and gestured to Monisha. "Honey, we better get going."
Monisha shook hands with Ravi, and we took leave from him.
When we came out of the building, it was raining. I had left my vehicle at the far side of the park, meaning both of us would be drenched by the time we reach the car. I was about to propose that Monisha wait for me right there while I go and pick up the car when Ravi wandered up. His car was parked right outside the door in the director’s reserved parking spot, one of the benefits of being the boss.
"No need for two persons to get wet,” he said, opening the door for Monisha. “Come on Monisha, I'll drop her at the place. It’s on my way. Rajiv, you don't mind if I steal your wife for this drive, do you?" he said.
"Not at all," I said with just a slight hesitation. Monisha seemed to hesitate, looked at me and accepted his offer out of kindness and got in the car.
"No need to worry, I'll keep your wife company," Ravi said to me as he drove off.
I rushed through the rain and got into my car, still puzzled by the turn of event. Driving out of the car park, I was surprised to spot Ravi’s car a couple of vehicles behind me, in the rear view mirror. Then when we got to the road that leads to the highway, he indicated and turned off. I was confused and could not tell for sure whether it was really his car or one that looked like his. Almost reluctantly I kept going, my mind wondering about the situation. Would Ravi really dare trying to seduce my wife? Whilst the thought certainly annoyed me, I was far from decided on how I would feel about the possible threat to my marriage.
After the half hour-long drive out to Mr. Desai's house, I arrived at the party. The rain had stopped and there were people all over the place. When I pulled into the drive I was quietly annoyed to see no sign of Ravi's car. I went into the house and looked for Monisha. There were several people in the house but Monisha wasn't among them, like I expected.
I was actually really worried when the missing pair had not turned up after twenty minutes. After three quarters of an hour I was downright fuming as I began to get more and more concerned. I begin ringing my wife's mobile every few minutes and making regular trips to gaze down the road in the direction from which they should appear.
Going inside I asked a girl I knew from the accounting department if she had seen Monisha.
"I saw her earlier," she said. "She was out in the yard talking to Ravi."
I immediately felt a knot in my stomach. I was going to have to talk to Monisha about Ravi again and I wasn't going to wait till we got home. I went out into the back yard and looked around but didn't see Monisha anywhere. I asked a couple of people if they had seen Monisha and one of them told me that they had seen her but that was more than 15 minutes earlier.
I was beginning to get upset. I was sure that Monisha wasn't doing anything wrong but not being able to find her was worrying me. I walked around asking people if they had seen Monisha and most said that they had seen her earlier but hadn't seen her in a while. I walked over to a guy who was standing watching people in the swimming pool and asked him if he knew Monisha and he said that he didn't. Then I asked him if he knew Ravi.
"Yes, I know Ravi," he said.
"Have you seen him?" I asked.
"I saw him heading to his car about 10 minutes ago."
I don't know what made me ask. "Was anyone with him?"
"Yes. He was with a very attractive woman," he said. "I think they came together."
Suddenly I felt myself begin to panic. Had Monisha really left the party with Ravi? I just couldn't believe that she would do that. Not Monisha. I spun around hoping to see Monisha somewhere in the yard but I didn't see her.
I felt all of the energy drain from my body and I felt like I just wanted to go lie down somewhere. I went around to the far side of my car where no one would see me and I slumped to the ground. I put my head between my knees and took deep breaths and tried to calm myself down. There had to be some other explanation for why I could not find Monisha. I knew she had come to the party because at least three people had seen her there. I also knew that she had been seen talking to Ravi Sohay. I also knew that Ravi had been seen leaving the party with a woman that fit Monisha's description. These things did not add up to a happy conclusion. Part of my brain was telling me that Monisha would not do that to me. She would not cheat on me. The other part of my brain was asking me how I could be so sure that she wouldn't cheat. I pushed that thought out of my head. It would not come to that. I refused to believe that Monisha would do anything that would cause me to leave her.
I knew that if she did leave the party with someone she would have to come back eventually because she knew that I would be there soon. The only thing I could do was to go back to the party and wait for her.
I walked through the house in a daze and went out into the back yard again. I needed to try and eat something to settle my stomach and get my nerves under control while I waited for Monisha to return. I was at the food table trying to decide what foods my stomach could handle when I heard a voice behind me. It took me a minute to realize the voice was directed at me. When I turned around I found Mr. Desai standing behind me.
"I see you finally made it, Rajiv," he said. "Where is that lovely wife of yours? I saw her here earlier."
"I don't know," I said. "I haven't been able to find her."
"Did you try calling her?"
"I forgot my phone so I wasn't able to call her," I lied. I did not want to tell him I have tried to call my wife and she was not taking my call.
Mr. Desai pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it to me and said,
"Here, use mine."
I wondered if Monisha would reply to the call from a different number to mine. I punched in Monisha's number and waited nervously for it to begin ringing. I wondered where she was and what I would say to her when she answered, if she answered.
Monisha answered on the third ring.
"Hello?"
"Monisha, where are you?"
"I am at Desai's where are you?"
"I am here in the back yard but I don't see you." I said.
Then I saw her as she stepped out from behind a large mango tree about a hundred feet away from me.
I could not believe the relief I felt when I saw her. I handed Mr. Desai his phone and headed back to where Monisha was waiting. When I got there I found that she had been sitting with two of the girls with their husbands and to my great relief there was no sign of Ravi. I couldn't believe that I had completely missed Monisha sitting behind the big oak tree with the other girls.
"I didn't see Ravi’s car out front when I got here," I said.
"You must have been getting worried," she said.
"Frantic," I told her but I was grinning, such was my relief at getting her safe and sound.
"Ravi had some mechanical problem with his car and had to stop on the way to see what was not working," she explained.
"Why didn't you ring me? I could have come back. I tried your number several times but you didn't answer".
"My battery's flat, it’s going on and off. I tried to call you when I reached here but it was not working. I've been meaning to charge it for a day or two," Monisha told me looking a little flustered. "Ravi came with me here but he did not stay long, he said he needed to get his car repaired and left."
"That was nice of him," I said. "Now let's get a drink and something to eat."
I was suddenly feeling much better but Monisha seemed a little uneasy. I asked her if she was all right and she said she had a bit of a headache. An hour later Monisha seemed to be feeling much better and we had a good time for the rest of the party.
On the ride home I started thinking about how I had felt when I thought Monisha might have gone off with Ravi and I felt my stomach start to tighten again. Then I remembered being told that Monisha was seen talking to Ravi at the party and began to wonder about the woman that was seen leaving the party with Ravi.
Could it have been Monisha? Had she gone somewhere with him and returned before I got to the party? I was starting to make myself crazy. How was I going to find out without causing an argument? I had to know.
I waited until we were home before I carefully broached the subject.
"Did anything interesting happen at the party before I got there?" I said.
"No. I just walked around talking to people for a while and then I sat with Nisha and Latika and their husbands.
"I didn't see Ravi at the party. Did he stay long?" I asked.
"No, he left soon after we got there. Why are you asking me about him?"
I was torn. I was angry with myself for even entertaining such suspicions but I was driven to pursue the answers to the questions that had been on my mind every since I had arrived at the party and couldn't find Monisha. I had been trying very hard to act like I was only interested in what had gone on at the party but my next statement gave away my real intent.
"I was just surprised that I didn't find Ravi at the party talking to you. That is where I usually find him if I leave you alone for a few minutes."
As soon as I said it I wanted to bite my tongue. I waited for Monisha's angry reaction but it didn't come.
"I told you he left soon after we reached here.”
There was something about the way she looked at me when she made that last comment that bothered me. It wasn't guilt that I saw. It was more a look of sadness.
"Really?" I asked.
Monisha's expression quickly changed and she laughed at me and said, "Really. I sense that there is something still bothering you that you are not telling me. You are not still worried that Ravi is trying to seduce me, are you?"
There was no anger in her voice as she spoke. It was more like she was laughing at me but then I saw that sadness again. What the hell was that?
"Rajiv, why don't you tell me what's really on your mind," she said.
"I'd rather not," I said, "I am ashamed of myself for what I thought."
"Now you have to tell me," Monisha said. "I am not letting you get away with a statement like that and not tell me everything."
"You have to promise not to get mad."
"I'll wait till I hear what you have to say before I make any promises."
So I told her the whole story about how I couldn't find her when I arrived at the party and how I was told that she was seen talking with Ravi. I told her that someone told me that they saw a very attractive woman leave with Ravi. I told her about the panic I felt and how sick it made me. Then I waited for the anger but it didn't come. Again, I saw the brief look of sadness but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. I wasn't even sure if I had really seen it.
"You thought I might have gone off somewhere with Ravi?'” Monisha said not with anger but with impatience. "I told you before Ravi doesn’t mean anything to me. It hurts me that you actually thought that I might leave with him today. I can't believe you don't trust me."
"You're right. I shouldn't have doubted you," I said.
"Have you said anything to Ravi?" she asked.
"No. You already accused me of being jealous and told me I had nothing to worry about. I am afraid if I keep bringing it up again, it will sound like I am telling you that I don't trust you and that is not the case. I would just like Ravi to stay away from you."
"Then why don't you just tell Ravi to stay away?"
"I thought of that but I am afraid if I did that he would make things even worse for me."
Monisha said, "I guess this is partly my fault. I should not have gone with him in the car. I knew you didn't like it when Ravi flirted with me. I did no want to rude and create a scene since he was proposing his help. Still I should have been more sensitive about your feelings. "
I decided that the next time that Ravi hit on Monisha I would have that talk with him and get him to stop, even if it meant I might have to lose my job.
(TO BE CONTINUED)
PART6
Staff meetings were never my strong point. Staff meetings on Monday mornings drove me to distraction. I could not concentrate on anything. To make matters worse, the intensity of pressure at work seemed about to redouble. FutureMedia had managed to get its hooks into one of the biggest and most important contracts in its existence, and we were going to have to pull out all the stops to bring it off.
The meeting had just started when Ritikha made her entrance five minutes late. People had just settled in, mugs of coffee positioned, piles of papers shuffled. Everyone stopped listening. Ravi continued talking for a sentence or two more before he stopped.
“Hi, Ritikha. Welcome. You look nice this morning,” he said.
“Sorry I’m late. Thank you.” She said briskly, avoiding his eyes on her.
Were they an item? Office rumors abound about that, I could now conclusively say something was in the air. I saw Shekhar Malik who was also in the meeting hide a smile. I made up my mind to have a lengthy talk with him on the subject.
The staff meeting was one of those nerve wracking battles where everything is happening at more than one level at the same time. I tried to focus on what Ravi was saying. Long-term relationship. Win-win situation. Security. It was unbearable. At last, with lunch in sight, the battle seemed to be won. We would go ahead with the deal. The final negotiations would be on Thursday and Friday, the signing would happen on Monday. Our key team would have to fly up north to our client’s head office to clinch the deal. Consensus was reached. college was out.
I went straight to the bathroom. I wanted to rest my forehead against the cool tiles. I tried to stay with my breath while I zipped myself up. Ravi came in while I was drying my hands. I saw him in the mirror.
“You all right, old chap?” It was Ravi. He came bustling in, laden with files, dumped them by the basins, and went over for a piss.
“I am fine,” I said.
“Tell me, Rajiv,” said Ravi from his place, “you have any idea how to present our proposal?”
“Sorry?”
"I was thinking that making a very nice document would help."
"What do you mean?”
"Why don't we hire a professional photographer to make a photo for the cover with a sexy woman model? This is the big game. Real stakes. I want everything to go all right for us."
I got a feeling that the fact that he was talking to me out of the boardroom meant something good. He fixed me with a penetrating, enigmatic stare. “Come with me to lunch. I want to discuss these negotiations.” And I had the distinct sensation he was escorting me out, making sure he did not leave me behind in the toilet…
Ravi heightened my anxiety at lunch. Midway through lunch he bent forward over the table and said, "I was thinking of proposing your wife on the cover of our proposal document."
I was wordless. What exactly did he mean?
"Your wife's really a lovely looking woman, she would be just fine on our cover!"
I immediately grew suspicious.
"Yes, she's beautiful," I finally acknowledged. "But I don't think she'll like that," I responded to his words.
"I'm serious," he changed his tone. It sounded like he really might be serious. "A friend of mine owns a photo studio. I talked to Monisha about it the other day at the party."
"Really," I briefly looked up, pretending to sound disinterested. I hoped the look in my eyes would drive him away. In truth, I felt anything but disinterest.
Monisha hadn't mentioned anything about Ravi's proposal.
"You mean she didn't tell you?" He questioned the surprised look in my eyes. "I'm surprised she didn't tell!"
I thought of Monisha's response to this proposal. An image formed in my mind. I pictured Monisha appearing seductive on the company document. I had a difficult time imagining Monisha talking to Ravi about this stupid photo session, yet I was beginning to have second thoughts. The fact that she chose to hide it from me made me suspicious. I remember how Monisha kept asking me about Ravi at breakfast the day after the party.
Further images formed in my mind. This time it was of Monisha in a photo studio. I imagined her on display. Then I thought about all the sensuous poses Ravi would ask her to do.
"Just an idea," he straightened back up and got ready to leave.
My heart was racing; I felt all of the energy drain from my body. "Who the fuck does Ravi Sohay think he is asking my wife to pose for the company document?" The more I thought of it, the more I found myself nervous. When I plucked up enough nerve to tell Monisha that night, I was surprised by her reaction. I expected absolute outrage. Instead, she said nothing for a couple of minutes.
Eventually she asked, 'What was your reaction when he said that?'
Perplexed by the calmness of her response, I said I thought it was a bad idea.
'It's flattering though, that he would have thought of me for the cover picture, isn't it?' She'd obviously had given it a lot of thoughts.
'Yeah .... But I really can't see you doing that."
'Oh yeah?' she said; and then after a moment's pause, she went on, 'God, you know I would never do something like that, it's just that a wife would love to know how much her husband values her ...'.
'Trouble is .... Oh hell darling, I don't want all the guys at the office leering at you.'
'Don't be daft, they wouldn't do that. At least I don't think they would; but you never know, do you?' she said teasingly after a moment's thought.
I was incredibly turned on by her suggestion and I think she was too, because her breathing was getting quicker. I decided to wind it up because I was beginning to noticeably shake and wanted to take her to bed.
'Wow ... that'd be terrible!' I said sarcastically, 'Look I'm sorry darling, but I reckon you quite like the thought of showing your pictures around to all my mates, despite what you say....'
"Oh what a crazy thought, other men staring at me...” Monisha said as she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me.
"Really?" I said, "Of course. I often hear them talking about you and when I go up to them, they clam up and change the subject."
Monisha looked at me and I asked, "Does that make you hot knowing other men want me?"
We laughed together, but only for an instant. I threw my arms around my wife and kissed her with an eager hunger. Monisha was now worked up, and I was not about to let the moment pass. I had waited for this kind of passion and excitement that had been missing for some time. That night, sex was extraordinary between us.
The next morning I kissed Monisha as I prepared to leave for work. "You know I love you don't you? Last night was wonderful," I said.
"Remember you can't work late Friday," she said. "You have to be home in time to get ready for the party."
I remembered one of our senior directors Mr. Desi called me few days ago and invited us for a birthday party. He invited everyone in our office. Mrs. Desi also invited Monisha and other stuff member’s wife separately over phone.
"What time do we have to be there?" I asked.
“Mrs. Desi said the party will be starting at 6 o'clock. I want to be there no later than 6:30," Monisha replied. "So you need to be home by 5 o'clock to get ready."
"Okay, why don’t meet me at the office and we leave together from there."
“Yeah, that’s a good idea. But what puts you in such a jolly mood?”
“Our night of passion,” I said teasingly.
On Friday I had all but closed my last case. The problem was it was going to be very difficult to get everything done by five o'clock like I promised Monisha.
When I called my wife that I was going to have a hard time getting done by five, she was annoyed.
"You promised," she said.
"I know and I am sorry but I am so close I just have to close this before I leave."
She did not even reply.
"Monisha, you don't have to wait for me. If I am not finished on time, go without me." I said. "I'll get there as soon as I can."
"I don't want to go without you," she said. "I guess I’ll just hang around and wait for you at the office."
"I'll do the best I can to get done by 6:30."
Monisha didn't say anymore about it.
It was 7 o'clock when I finished the last of the reports. I immediately went looking for Monisha, knowing she would have to be waiting for me at the reception since most offices in the building were closed.
When I walked in the reception room, I saw Ravi was sitting with Monisha and seemed deep in conversation with her. I could feel a knot forming in my stomach. I knew that if I said or did anything wrong, Monisha would be angry at me and accuse me of being jealous and she would be right.
Monisha immediately rose to her feet when she saw me.
"Oh, Rajiv is here to drive you to the party, isn't it?" Ravi said when he in turn saw me.
"That's right," I said. I turned and gestured to Monisha. "Honey, we better get going."
Monisha shook hands with Ravi, and we took leave from him.
When we came out of the building, it was raining. I had left my vehicle at the far side of the park, meaning both of us would be drenched by the time we reach the car. I was about to propose that Monisha wait for me right there while I go and pick up the car when Ravi wandered up. His car was parked right outside the door in the director’s reserved parking spot, one of the benefits of being the boss.
"No need for two persons to get wet,” he said, opening the door for Monisha. “Come on Monisha, I'll drop her at the place. It’s on my way. Rajiv, you don't mind if I steal your wife for this drive, do you?" he said.
"Not at all," I said with just a slight hesitation. Monisha seemed to hesitate, looked at me and accepted his offer out of kindness and got in the car.
"No need to worry, I'll keep your wife company," Ravi said to me as he drove off.
I rushed through the rain and got into my car, still puzzled by the turn of event. Driving out of the car park, I was surprised to spot Ravi’s car a couple of vehicles behind me, in the rear view mirror. Then when we got to the road that leads to the highway, he indicated and turned off. I was confused and could not tell for sure whether it was really his car or one that looked like his. Almost reluctantly I kept going, my mind wondering about the situation. Would Ravi really dare trying to seduce my wife? Whilst the thought certainly annoyed me, I was far from decided on how I would feel about the possible threat to my marriage.
After the half hour-long drive out to Mr. Desai's house, I arrived at the party. The rain had stopped and there were people all over the place. When I pulled into the drive I was quietly annoyed to see no sign of Ravi's car. I went into the house and looked for Monisha. There were several people in the house but Monisha wasn't among them, like I expected.
I was actually really worried when the missing pair had not turned up after twenty minutes. After three quarters of an hour I was downright fuming as I began to get more and more concerned. I begin ringing my wife's mobile every few minutes and making regular trips to gaze down the road in the direction from which they should appear.
Going inside I asked a girl I knew from the accounting department if she had seen Monisha.
"I saw her earlier," she said. "She was out in the yard talking to Ravi."
I immediately felt a knot in my stomach. I was going to have to talk to Monisha about Ravi again and I wasn't going to wait till we got home. I went out into the back yard and looked around but didn't see Monisha anywhere. I asked a couple of people if they had seen Monisha and one of them told me that they had seen her but that was more than 15 minutes earlier.
I was beginning to get upset. I was sure that Monisha wasn't doing anything wrong but not being able to find her was worrying me. I walked around asking people if they had seen Monisha and most said that they had seen her earlier but hadn't seen her in a while. I walked over to a guy who was standing watching people in the swimming pool and asked him if he knew Monisha and he said that he didn't. Then I asked him if he knew Ravi.
"Yes, I know Ravi," he said.
"Have you seen him?" I asked.
"I saw him heading to his car about 10 minutes ago."
I don't know what made me ask. "Was anyone with him?"
"Yes. He was with a very attractive woman," he said. "I think they came together."
Suddenly I felt myself begin to panic. Had Monisha really left the party with Ravi? I just couldn't believe that she would do that. Not Monisha. I spun around hoping to see Monisha somewhere in the yard but I didn't see her.
I felt all of the energy drain from my body and I felt like I just wanted to go lie down somewhere. I went around to the far side of my car where no one would see me and I slumped to the ground. I put my head between my knees and took deep breaths and tried to calm myself down. There had to be some other explanation for why I could not find Monisha. I knew she had come to the party because at least three people had seen her there. I also knew that she had been seen talking to Ravi Sohay. I also knew that Ravi had been seen leaving the party with a woman that fit Monisha's description. These things did not add up to a happy conclusion. Part of my brain was telling me that Monisha would not do that to me. She would not cheat on me. The other part of my brain was asking me how I could be so sure that she wouldn't cheat. I pushed that thought out of my head. It would not come to that. I refused to believe that Monisha would do anything that would cause me to leave her.
I knew that if she did leave the party with someone she would have to come back eventually because she knew that I would be there soon. The only thing I could do was to go back to the party and wait for her.
I walked through the house in a daze and went out into the back yard again. I needed to try and eat something to settle my stomach and get my nerves under control while I waited for Monisha to return. I was at the food table trying to decide what foods my stomach could handle when I heard a voice behind me. It took me a minute to realize the voice was directed at me. When I turned around I found Mr. Desai standing behind me.
"I see you finally made it, Rajiv," he said. "Where is that lovely wife of yours? I saw her here earlier."
"I don't know," I said. "I haven't been able to find her."
"Did you try calling her?"
"I forgot my phone so I wasn't able to call her," I lied. I did not want to tell him I have tried to call my wife and she was not taking my call.
Mr. Desai pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it to me and said,
"Here, use mine."
I wondered if Monisha would reply to the call from a different number to mine. I punched in Monisha's number and waited nervously for it to begin ringing. I wondered where she was and what I would say to her when she answered, if she answered.
Monisha answered on the third ring.
"Hello?"
"Monisha, where are you?"
"I am at Desai's where are you?"
"I am here in the back yard but I don't see you." I said.
Then I saw her as she stepped out from behind a large mango tree about a hundred feet away from me.
I could not believe the relief I felt when I saw her. I handed Mr. Desai his phone and headed back to where Monisha was waiting. When I got there I found that she had been sitting with two of the girls with their husbands and to my great relief there was no sign of Ravi. I couldn't believe that I had completely missed Monisha sitting behind the big oak tree with the other girls.
"I didn't see Ravi’s car out front when I got here," I said.
"You must have been getting worried," she said.
"Frantic," I told her but I was grinning, such was my relief at getting her safe and sound.
"Ravi had some mechanical problem with his car and had to stop on the way to see what was not working," she explained.
"Why didn't you ring me? I could have come back. I tried your number several times but you didn't answer".
"My battery's flat, it’s going on and off. I tried to call you when I reached here but it was not working. I've been meaning to charge it for a day or two," Monisha told me looking a little flustered. "Ravi came with me here but he did not stay long, he said he needed to get his car repaired and left."
"That was nice of him," I said. "Now let's get a drink and something to eat."
I was suddenly feeling much better but Monisha seemed a little uneasy. I asked her if she was all right and she said she had a bit of a headache. An hour later Monisha seemed to be feeling much better and we had a good time for the rest of the party.
On the ride home I started thinking about how I had felt when I thought Monisha might have gone off with Ravi and I felt my stomach start to tighten again. Then I remembered being told that Monisha was seen talking to Ravi at the party and began to wonder about the woman that was seen leaving the party with Ravi.
Could it have been Monisha? Had she gone somewhere with him and returned before I got to the party? I was starting to make myself crazy. How was I going to find out without causing an argument? I had to know.
I waited until we were home before I carefully broached the subject.
"Did anything interesting happen at the party before I got there?" I said.
"No. I just walked around talking to people for a while and then I sat with Nisha and Latika and their husbands.
"I didn't see Ravi at the party. Did he stay long?" I asked.
"No, he left soon after we got there. Why are you asking me about him?"
I was torn. I was angry with myself for even entertaining such suspicions but I was driven to pursue the answers to the questions that had been on my mind every since I had arrived at the party and couldn't find Monisha. I had been trying very hard to act like I was only interested in what had gone on at the party but my next statement gave away my real intent.
"I was just surprised that I didn't find Ravi at the party talking to you. That is where I usually find him if I leave you alone for a few minutes."
As soon as I said it I wanted to bite my tongue. I waited for Monisha's angry reaction but it didn't come.
"I told you he left soon after we reached here.”
There was something about the way she looked at me when she made that last comment that bothered me. It wasn't guilt that I saw. It was more a look of sadness.
"Really?" I asked.
Monisha's expression quickly changed and she laughed at me and said, "Really. I sense that there is something still bothering you that you are not telling me. You are not still worried that Ravi is trying to seduce me, are you?"
There was no anger in her voice as she spoke. It was more like she was laughing at me but then I saw that sadness again. What the hell was that?
"Rajiv, why don't you tell me what's really on your mind," she said.
"I'd rather not," I said, "I am ashamed of myself for what I thought."
"Now you have to tell me," Monisha said. "I am not letting you get away with a statement like that and not tell me everything."
"You have to promise not to get mad."
"I'll wait till I hear what you have to say before I make any promises."
So I told her the whole story about how I couldn't find her when I arrived at the party and how I was told that she was seen talking with Ravi. I told her that someone told me that they saw a very attractive woman leave with Ravi. I told her about the panic I felt and how sick it made me. Then I waited for the anger but it didn't come. Again, I saw the brief look of sadness but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. I wasn't even sure if I had really seen it.
"You thought I might have gone off somewhere with Ravi?'” Monisha said not with anger but with impatience. "I told you before Ravi doesn’t mean anything to me. It hurts me that you actually thought that I might leave with him today. I can't believe you don't trust me."
"You're right. I shouldn't have doubted you," I said.
"Have you said anything to Ravi?" she asked.
"No. You already accused me of being jealous and told me I had nothing to worry about. I am afraid if I keep bringing it up again, it will sound like I am telling you that I don't trust you and that is not the case. I would just like Ravi to stay away from you."
"Then why don't you just tell Ravi to stay away?"
"I thought of that but I am afraid if I did that he would make things even worse for me."
Monisha said, "I guess this is partly my fault. I should not have gone with him in the car. I knew you didn't like it when Ravi flirted with me. I did no want to rude and create a scene since he was proposing his help. Still I should have been more sensitive about your feelings. "
I decided that the next time that Ravi hit on Monisha I would have that talk with him and get him to stop, even if it meant I might have to lose my job.
(TO BE CONTINUED)
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