20-04-2019, 09:48 PM
"God," Helen replied. "They prepared you for Dr. Doom!" She thought for a moment. "Ok, yeah. I totally see that. After Julie and I parted in Madrid, I didn't really talk to them for a while; except for the odd 'I've got a problem that only you and Troy can understand, and can't or don't want to bug Troy about it' call. They always answered those, and so did I. Whatever you come away thinking of me, Susan, I hope you know that you've got that, too. I wish I'd been better about doing it back then."
Helen resumed smoking as Susan replied.
"I know. And I hope I've proved it as well." Helen nodded and Susan continued. "I know that a big part of this has to do with me, too. Chad always seemed to sense when he was about to push me to the point of leaving him or telling someone who'd listen about the things he did to me. And suddenly, he'd bring home flowers, or order pizza and let me pick a movie, even 'that nerd stuff you like.' And he'd be nice for a day or two before starting back up again."
"Yeah, if Wade did anything nice or slightly loving, it was a setup for later." Helen thought for a drag, and coughed a bit on the exhale as something dawned on her. "Oh, fuck! Oh, Susan! I made you feel lesser, and then tossed you a big bag of expensive gifts! No wonder you thought that of me! Knowing that now still forgives nothing; however, I hope that I can at least explain who I was back then. Not out of any effort to excuse or garner pity, simply so that you can measure it against who I've been working to be since then. I would hope you don't know as much as I do about probation and parole hearings. That said, it's the procedure to which I'm most accustomed."
Susan agreed. Helen finished her cup. Susan got up to pour her another, but she insisted on doing it herself. After a couple of fumbles with sugar cubes, Susan finished the job for her.
"Eh, I loosened it for ya," Helen said with a smile. Susan had heard her say that before and got a kick out of it. "Well, I guess it all starts with Troy & Julie."
"Most things do, yeah." Susan replied. Helen stirred her cup, looked down at the ground, then back up at Susan before speaking.
"I love those two so fucking much. I always have. I'm not going to bore you with the 'daddy beat me' shit; you know all about that. I respect you too much to try to 'play that card,' like it's my note from Mommy, excusing me from The Human Race."
Susan nodded and commented.
"Yeah. Someone warned me once about laying all our tragedy cards on the table and seeing who wins."
Helen leaned forward and cupped her forehead in her right hand. The motion of her neck was felt in her shoulder, but she didn't care.
"You weren't insulting me when you said I was a bitch, just being really accurate. What I will say, is that I know I would have died long ago without them and Propappou. Through most of my childhood and teen years, they saved my life again and again. They taught me The Thing because Wade just decided one night, "time to kill the little bitch.' Wade and Marion Parker were not my family, they were. In as real a way as I know that they're yours, too, Susan. They love you, like I know they love me. But they were always sad and scared for me along with it. And then they were worried about the lengths that I might go to with The Thing. They had good reason, too. I figured Life fucking owed me for dumping me into the Parker family, and I used The Thing to collect on that debt."
"Like seducing and marrying your way to the throne?" Susan asked.
Helen's reaction wasn't hurt or angry, so much as "Yeah, I figured that was coming eventually."
"That's the popular version, and the one I chose to let them believe. When I first met my husband, Julie and I had just had our 'final argument,' and... well, Vincenzo was quite a handsome old fellow. I'm not a total Silver Fox Hound, but you know how they say that women are attracted to men who remind us of our fathers? Well, the man I regard as my father fought in World War I. And I won't lie and say that I didn't have little cartoon dollar signs shooting out of my eyes and hear a cash register noise when I approached him, but can't one thing become another? Can't you meet someone who sees right through the façade you put on for everyone else and just... reaches into your heart and pulls out the person you wish you were?"
"That can certainly happen, yes." Susan mused, remembering how a trip to the library to use the computer had changed her entire life.
"Before him, I had met exactly two men, in the entire world, that I would describe as 'good.' One was denied me by Wade and the courts, the other by the fact that his heart belonged to the girl I'd just broken up with; because I knew her heart belonged to him, too; even if both of them were too blind to see it."
"They were a couple when I met them," Susan commented. "And they just immediately and completely welcomed me into their lives. As far as having a man in my life, I went from Chad to Troy, with no stops in-between."
"That's got to be the complete opposite ends of the spectrum as far as men go." Helen replied with a laugh. Susan laughed too, and Helen avoided watching her breasts bounce as she did. Even though Susan was fully dressed, Helen could still picture Suzy-Q's body under her dress. Suzy-Q had said that she and 'the others' all looked exactly like Susan, and caught herself wondering how accurate the statement had been.
Susan broke the silence after the laughter died down, and before it had time to get awkward.
"My one experience with another woman before I'd met them had been a disaster. Julie totally opened my eyes there. Well, Claire did first, then Julie. I've never seen two people as much in love as her and Troy, and I am honored that they share it with me.
Helen resumed smoking as Susan replied.
"I know. And I hope I've proved it as well." Helen nodded and Susan continued. "I know that a big part of this has to do with me, too. Chad always seemed to sense when he was about to push me to the point of leaving him or telling someone who'd listen about the things he did to me. And suddenly, he'd bring home flowers, or order pizza and let me pick a movie, even 'that nerd stuff you like.' And he'd be nice for a day or two before starting back up again."
"Yeah, if Wade did anything nice or slightly loving, it was a setup for later." Helen thought for a drag, and coughed a bit on the exhale as something dawned on her. "Oh, fuck! Oh, Susan! I made you feel lesser, and then tossed you a big bag of expensive gifts! No wonder you thought that of me! Knowing that now still forgives nothing; however, I hope that I can at least explain who I was back then. Not out of any effort to excuse or garner pity, simply so that you can measure it against who I've been working to be since then. I would hope you don't know as much as I do about probation and parole hearings. That said, it's the procedure to which I'm most accustomed."
Susan agreed. Helen finished her cup. Susan got up to pour her another, but she insisted on doing it herself. After a couple of fumbles with sugar cubes, Susan finished the job for her.
"Eh, I loosened it for ya," Helen said with a smile. Susan had heard her say that before and got a kick out of it. "Well, I guess it all starts with Troy & Julie."
"Most things do, yeah." Susan replied. Helen stirred her cup, looked down at the ground, then back up at Susan before speaking.
"I love those two so fucking much. I always have. I'm not going to bore you with the 'daddy beat me' shit; you know all about that. I respect you too much to try to 'play that card,' like it's my note from Mommy, excusing me from The Human Race."
Susan nodded and commented.
"Yeah. Someone warned me once about laying all our tragedy cards on the table and seeing who wins."
Helen leaned forward and cupped her forehead in her right hand. The motion of her neck was felt in her shoulder, but she didn't care.
"You weren't insulting me when you said I was a bitch, just being really accurate. What I will say, is that I know I would have died long ago without them and Propappou. Through most of my childhood and teen years, they saved my life again and again. They taught me The Thing because Wade just decided one night, "time to kill the little bitch.' Wade and Marion Parker were not my family, they were. In as real a way as I know that they're yours, too, Susan. They love you, like I know they love me. But they were always sad and scared for me along with it. And then they were worried about the lengths that I might go to with The Thing. They had good reason, too. I figured Life fucking owed me for dumping me into the Parker family, and I used The Thing to collect on that debt."
"Like seducing and marrying your way to the throne?" Susan asked.
Helen's reaction wasn't hurt or angry, so much as "Yeah, I figured that was coming eventually."
"That's the popular version, and the one I chose to let them believe. When I first met my husband, Julie and I had just had our 'final argument,' and... well, Vincenzo was quite a handsome old fellow. I'm not a total Silver Fox Hound, but you know how they say that women are attracted to men who remind us of our fathers? Well, the man I regard as my father fought in World War I. And I won't lie and say that I didn't have little cartoon dollar signs shooting out of my eyes and hear a cash register noise when I approached him, but can't one thing become another? Can't you meet someone who sees right through the façade you put on for everyone else and just... reaches into your heart and pulls out the person you wish you were?"
"That can certainly happen, yes." Susan mused, remembering how a trip to the library to use the computer had changed her entire life.
"Before him, I had met exactly two men, in the entire world, that I would describe as 'good.' One was denied me by Wade and the courts, the other by the fact that his heart belonged to the girl I'd just broken up with; because I knew her heart belonged to him, too; even if both of them were too blind to see it."
"They were a couple when I met them," Susan commented. "And they just immediately and completely welcomed me into their lives. As far as having a man in my life, I went from Chad to Troy, with no stops in-between."
"That's got to be the complete opposite ends of the spectrum as far as men go." Helen replied with a laugh. Susan laughed too, and Helen avoided watching her breasts bounce as she did. Even though Susan was fully dressed, Helen could still picture Suzy-Q's body under her dress. Suzy-Q had said that she and 'the others' all looked exactly like Susan, and caught herself wondering how accurate the statement had been.
Susan broke the silence after the laughter died down, and before it had time to get awkward.
"My one experience with another woman before I'd met them had been a disaster. Julie totally opened my eyes there. Well, Claire did first, then Julie. I've never seen two people as much in love as her and Troy, and I am honored that they share it with me.
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