10-04-2019, 11:18 AM
Trying to escape from Triad goons takes everything you've got.
Finding Helen's secret passage sure would help a lot.
Cause if they caught you, that would totally blow...
That's why you need to go...
Where Everybody Has Your Name.
And you all look just the same.
You need to stop and think it through, cause panic'll get you dead.
You need to talk to the other women in... your head.
"Evening, everyone." I said, entering the bar.
"Susan!" Everyone cheered as I walked to my stool.
"What would you say to a beer, Miss Bailey?" Suzy-Ho asked as she poured me one and set it in front of my stool. I sat on the stool and looked down at.
"Hey, Beer, would you happen to know where Helen keeps her secret passages?" As the studio audience laughed, I took a sip and then looked up at Suzy-Ho, dressed as Woody.
"Hey, shouldn't you be Diane or Rebecca? Or naked, at least?" I asked her. The audience liked that one, anyway.
"We're short-staffed today, Miss Bailey." Suzy-Ho replied. "And I like Woody." She stage-whispered. "In more ways than one." That got a laugh, too. (Easy room in my head today, it seems.) "It's just me and Carla today."
Sue slammed a bowl of pretzels down on the bar in front of me.
"Yeah, tell me you didn't see THIS one coming." Sue said, before turning to go serve someone else. Another laugh.
"Ok," I said, looking at the empty stool next to me, then back toward Sam's office. "So, I'm Norm for this one, where's Suzy-Q? And who's she going to be? Cliff? Sam? That background extra who only talks when they need a pervy old guy? That's who I really figured you'd be, Suzy-Ho."
"Maybe she's Vera, and we're not gonna see her." Sue called back over her shoulder.
"She's not in the pool room." Suzy-Ho chimed in. "I'm meeting some guys back there later to knock some balls around. Then we might play pool." The studio audience laughed again.
"Well, fun as it might be to have a Cheers episode with you guys, I'm in danger out there. Can either of you think of a place Helen might hide a secret door?"
"Have you tried the bed?" Suzy-Ho asked.
"Tried the knobs and the headboard, nothing there."
"That wasn't what I meant, but ok."
"You've tried all the D&D tricks already." Sue said as she set a tray of empty glasses on the counter. "Unless somebody there happens to be an elf and can sense secret doors, you might have a problem."
"And I've got to say, Suzy-Q's absence is bothering me." I looked up the stairs. I usually just "return to reality" from our meetings. I've never tried just walking out, and had no idea what would be up there or in the pool room. Empty space? The real interior of my brain? Both? (If I didn't make that joke, you would have.) I've never been to Boston, I don't know how good a job I would do of imagining it. I looked around, trying to see where one of three people who were always here when nobody else was had gotten to.
* * *
Finding Helen's secret passage sure would help a lot.
Cause if they caught you, that would totally blow...
That's why you need to go...
Where Everybody Has Your Name.
And you all look just the same.
You need to stop and think it through, cause panic'll get you dead.
You need to talk to the other women in... your head.
"Evening, everyone." I said, entering the bar.
"Susan!" Everyone cheered as I walked to my stool.
"What would you say to a beer, Miss Bailey?" Suzy-Ho asked as she poured me one and set it in front of my stool. I sat on the stool and looked down at.
"Hey, Beer, would you happen to know where Helen keeps her secret passages?" As the studio audience laughed, I took a sip and then looked up at Suzy-Ho, dressed as Woody.
"Hey, shouldn't you be Diane or Rebecca? Or naked, at least?" I asked her. The audience liked that one, anyway.
"We're short-staffed today, Miss Bailey." Suzy-Ho replied. "And I like Woody." She stage-whispered. "In more ways than one." That got a laugh, too. (Easy room in my head today, it seems.) "It's just me and Carla today."
Sue slammed a bowl of pretzels down on the bar in front of me.
"Yeah, tell me you didn't see THIS one coming." Sue said, before turning to go serve someone else. Another laugh.
"Ok," I said, looking at the empty stool next to me, then back toward Sam's office. "So, I'm Norm for this one, where's Suzy-Q? And who's she going to be? Cliff? Sam? That background extra who only talks when they need a pervy old guy? That's who I really figured you'd be, Suzy-Ho."
"Maybe she's Vera, and we're not gonna see her." Sue called back over her shoulder.
"She's not in the pool room." Suzy-Ho chimed in. "I'm meeting some guys back there later to knock some balls around. Then we might play pool." The studio audience laughed again.
"Well, fun as it might be to have a Cheers episode with you guys, I'm in danger out there. Can either of you think of a place Helen might hide a secret door?"
"Have you tried the bed?" Suzy-Ho asked.
"Tried the knobs and the headboard, nothing there."
"That wasn't what I meant, but ok."
"You've tried all the D&D tricks already." Sue said as she set a tray of empty glasses on the counter. "Unless somebody there happens to be an elf and can sense secret doors, you might have a problem."
"And I've got to say, Suzy-Q's absence is bothering me." I looked up the stairs. I usually just "return to reality" from our meetings. I've never tried just walking out, and had no idea what would be up there or in the pool room. Empty space? The real interior of my brain? Both? (If I didn't make that joke, you would have.) I've never been to Boston, I don't know how good a job I would do of imagining it. I looked around, trying to see where one of three people who were always here when nobody else was had gotten to.
* * *
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