Fantasy Susan Takes Charge by TMaskedWriter

[Ramesh_Rocky]

As I'd sort of hoped, I ran into Lucinda de San Finzione in the Great Hall, while standing with the cart in front of one of the signs marking the way to the reception. Her snooty rich person instinct to overlook servants almost caused her to look past me and the cart, until she noticed who was with it and walked over. She was wearing a white dress, probably a designer label of some kind. I think the look she was going for was "angelic," but it really didn't work. That could have been because I knew who she was.

"Susan," She said with a smile. "Er... I did not expect to see you with La Contessa's maid's cart." (Of course, she wouldn't have bothered learning Jeanne's name.) "Will you be serving at the reception this evening?"

"Lucinda!" I said back with a smile that I hoped looked as fake as hers. "Oh, no... er, no. Jeanne's going to be pushing the twins in their stroller this evening, so I'm taking her cart back to her quarters for her. It's the kind of thing I do to be nice." I gave a brief pause before switching from English to Italian. "'Nice' is a word in the dictionary, Lucinda."

I could tell by the look on her face that it was a revelation that I spoke Italian. That little "Si... er, yes" thing she'd been doing before had been deliberate. Because most of the People of San Finzione ("San Finzionean" refers to the culture and the country. Someone who's from here is either a Citizen. Person, or one of the People of San Finzione.) speak at least two of the four official languages. Because the economy depends on visitors having a pleasant experience in San Finzione, it's considered only good manners, if you're able to speak to someone in their native language, to accommodate them. Yes, I had been a bad citizen by pretending not to know Italian, so I could foist La Familia off on an Ultimado. That little "Si... er, yes" of hers let you know she was doing you a favor.

"A very Christ-like thing of you to do." Lucinda responded in Italian. "'Christ' is a word in the Bible, Susan."

"I'm aware." I told her. "I've read parts of it. Check out Exodus some time. Moses was seriously the world's first total badass."

"Exodus 22:18 is a particular favorite of mine." Lucinda replied. "'Suffer not a witch to live.'"

"I like Ezekiel 25:17." I told her. "The Samuel L. Jackson version, anyway."

"And I presume that, like La Contessa, you do not take Leviticus 18:22 to heart."

Here's something that most people who weren't Wards of the State as kids might not know about. That whole "separation of church and state" thing that, like most things, Americans only care about when it affects them, meets some gray areas when it comes to orphans. Most of the people who donate or volunteer to work with us have some kind of religious motivation. Once in a great while, you'll get someone like Troy, giving their money or time because they're that sort of person; but it's usually either some local politician who's just dropping off a couple coloring books for a political ad or someone looking to score points with their God or their church; almost never in that order.

Or, if you go into the foster system, you're introduced to a new God every month who's the REAL one, unlike all those others you were promised the same thing about. You're going to get religion pushed on you one way or another. Either none of it sticks, or too much of it sticks, and you get some fucked-up adults as a result. I'm not as bad as Helen about it; I think the only way the universe makes sense is if all of this shit is for SOMEONE'S amusement. My point is that this was not my first Bible Fight.

"Let me tell you something about that particular passage, Lucinda. The Bible contains four sentences on the subject of homosexuality. In that same book, there are twelve sentences on the subject of proper hat etiquette in church. It has three times as much to say on that subject; so it must be three times as important to merit that much Holy Word Count. Do you sincerely expect me to believe that a God who cares THAT much about accessorizing is COMPLETELY straight?"

She gave a little chuckle, then crossed herself for it.

"You must come to my office some time for a proper discussion on this subject." She replied. I wasn't sure if that was a come-on or not. I presumed not. "For now, I have a reception to attend."

"What are you after, Lucinda?" I finally decided to just ask her. "You've gone to a lot of effort to make this happen. What are you hoping to gain? Status?"

"Ha!" Lucinda Ha-ed. "Status? I have status to spare. If you, yourself, should ever need some status, help yourself to the box outside my door that will say 'Free Surplus Status!' MY concern is the MORAL direction that San Finzione has taken since Count Vincenzo passed; forever does HE reign in our hearts!"

(Ok, remember what I said about how you're supposed to say that when talking about him? Well, there are two ways to say it. The first is how you'd think it's meant, out of love and respect for the Count's memory. Then there's the second way to say it that means contempt for Helen for "fucking our beloved Count to death and stealing his throne." Tone of voice and which word you emphasize make the difference. Lucinda was clearly using the second one.)