01-04-2019, 11:44 AM
So Night Follows Day Pt. 04
"I'll serve your ass like John McEnroe.
If your girl steps up I'm smackin' the ho.
Word to your moms, I came to drop bombs.
I got more rhymes than the Bible's got Psalms.
And just like the Prodigal Son, I've returned.
Anyone steppin' to me, you'll get burned.
Cause I got lyrics, and you ain't got none.
If you come to battle, bring a shotgun."
-House of Pain, "Jump Around"
"What is the best war?"
The man in the video now playing from Julie's laptop onto the screen of the Equals' darkened-living room television asked the question of a non-existent studio audience. He walked around a black stage, wearing a black turtleneck; addressing them as if either giving a TED Talk, or unveiling the latest Apple product. Everyone recognized him; a famous technology billionaire who'd died a few months back. Below him a graphic on the screen read "Presentation Rehearsal #8: Internal Use Only."
"According to that great sage, Bart Simpson, 'There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars trilogy.'"
He paused for pre-recorded polite laughter.
"But which is the best war? The obvious answer is 'the one where you win,' but there's an even better one than that."
He stepped back as the giant monitor above the stage lit up with a number of technology companies' logos merging into a giant S-shape that looked to be made out of a spring.
"The BEST war, ladies and gentlemen... is the one where you win... without ever having to fight it."
The video changed to a shot of Sean Connery in "Thunderball," flying a jetpack. Troy was about to say something when Julie mouthed "We know" at him and looked back at the screen. The phony audience oohed and ahh-ed.
"The jetpack," The speaker continued. "Which of us hasn't always wanted one? The technology exists, the US Army worked for years to perfect it; some general's dream of a platoon of jet-pack-wearing Buck Rogers soldiers, soaring over enemy lines to rain down death upon their foes. But there's a problem. They used to call it 'the 30-second barrier.' The problem is that it's impossible to create a jetpack that can hold the weight of the occupant, the weight of the fuel, and the weight of the pack itself, and attain more than 30 seconds of flight. I believe now it's been pushed to 34 seconds. Not much of an improvement since Double-0 Seven here flew one, and not practical for military use."
Troy started humming Tom Jones' "Theme from Thunderball." Helen gently whacked him on the shoulder and pointed at the screen.
"So we decided to go back to basic principles."
The image changed to clips of Olympic athletes performing high jumps and long jumps.
"Man may not have been meant to fly, but he was certainly meant to jump. Since rockets weren't the answer, we thought 'What about springs?'"
The image changed to a computer graphic of a pair of large metal boots. It circled around them, then the image changed again to an x-ray view of the boots. It zoomed in on the soles, under which, multiple coiled springs were located. The non-audience oohed.
"What about nanocarbon springs, and state-of-the-art breakthroughs in Inertial Damping technology? Breakthroughs that, when applied as we have, absorb the kinetic energy of impact, and temporarily stores it for higher and longer jumps? Absurd, right?"
The graphic backed away to show the original image of the boots. Vector graphics then filled in a suit of black, metal armor and helmet.
"Iron Man?" Julie said to no one. Various half-giggled shushes came from the room.
"For YEARS," The speaker continued. "It was said that a man could not run a mile in four minutes! It was absurd to consider! Then, in 1954, Sir Roger Bannister did it. He just... trained hard until he 'did it.' By point six seconds, but he pulled it off. And now, athletes break his record often. An idea is only absurd... until someone does it."
"I'll serve your ass like John McEnroe.
If your girl steps up I'm smackin' the ho.
Word to your moms, I came to drop bombs.
I got more rhymes than the Bible's got Psalms.
And just like the Prodigal Son, I've returned.
Anyone steppin' to me, you'll get burned.
Cause I got lyrics, and you ain't got none.
If you come to battle, bring a shotgun."
-House of Pain, "Jump Around"
"What is the best war?"
The man in the video now playing from Julie's laptop onto the screen of the Equals' darkened-living room television asked the question of a non-existent studio audience. He walked around a black stage, wearing a black turtleneck; addressing them as if either giving a TED Talk, or unveiling the latest Apple product. Everyone recognized him; a famous technology billionaire who'd died a few months back. Below him a graphic on the screen read "Presentation Rehearsal #8: Internal Use Only."
"According to that great sage, Bart Simpson, 'There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars trilogy.'"
He paused for pre-recorded polite laughter.
"But which is the best war? The obvious answer is 'the one where you win,' but there's an even better one than that."
He stepped back as the giant monitor above the stage lit up with a number of technology companies' logos merging into a giant S-shape that looked to be made out of a spring.
"The BEST war, ladies and gentlemen... is the one where you win... without ever having to fight it."
The video changed to a shot of Sean Connery in "Thunderball," flying a jetpack. Troy was about to say something when Julie mouthed "We know" at him and looked back at the screen. The phony audience oohed and ahh-ed.
"The jetpack," The speaker continued. "Which of us hasn't always wanted one? The technology exists, the US Army worked for years to perfect it; some general's dream of a platoon of jet-pack-wearing Buck Rogers soldiers, soaring over enemy lines to rain down death upon their foes. But there's a problem. They used to call it 'the 30-second barrier.' The problem is that it's impossible to create a jetpack that can hold the weight of the occupant, the weight of the fuel, and the weight of the pack itself, and attain more than 30 seconds of flight. I believe now it's been pushed to 34 seconds. Not much of an improvement since Double-0 Seven here flew one, and not practical for military use."
Troy started humming Tom Jones' "Theme from Thunderball." Helen gently whacked him on the shoulder and pointed at the screen.
"So we decided to go back to basic principles."
The image changed to clips of Olympic athletes performing high jumps and long jumps.
"Man may not have been meant to fly, but he was certainly meant to jump. Since rockets weren't the answer, we thought 'What about springs?'"
The image changed to a computer graphic of a pair of large metal boots. It circled around them, then the image changed again to an x-ray view of the boots. It zoomed in on the soles, under which, multiple coiled springs were located. The non-audience oohed.
"What about nanocarbon springs, and state-of-the-art breakthroughs in Inertial Damping technology? Breakthroughs that, when applied as we have, absorb the kinetic energy of impact, and temporarily stores it for higher and longer jumps? Absurd, right?"
The graphic backed away to show the original image of the boots. Vector graphics then filled in a suit of black, metal armor and helmet.
"Iron Man?" Julie said to no one. Various half-giggled shushes came from the room.
"For YEARS," The speaker continued. "It was said that a man could not run a mile in four minutes! It was absurd to consider! Then, in 1954, Sir Roger Bannister did it. He just... trained hard until he 'did it.' By point six seconds, but he pulled it off. And now, athletes break his record often. An idea is only absurd... until someone does it."
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