30-03-2019, 07:08 PM
"Mic in her signet ring feeds to live translators who tell her what to say back into an earbud. If Rita gets in over her head or anything, she's got a signal. The Ultimados come up, one whispers something in La Contessa's ear, she acts like he just told her about some urgent matter, and they extract her from the conversation. You act like I haven't thought this through, Troilus."
"Well, that brings us to the Ultimados." Troy replied. "Contessa Helena de San Finzione does not need thirty-six Ultimados to protect her in Seattle. Even if riots broke out and the city became a war zone, she could re-take it with less than ten. You've had us under 24-hour surveillance with just two of them. After the attempt on your life last month, say fifteen or twenty might be a reasonable precaution. Some of whom, you'd need to keep downtown with Rita, of course.
"Now, the 'Green Family Reunion' is going on next door; and, by the way, nobody who isn't on TV or in the movies goes and gets a damn professional-made banner for a party. A party where all of the family members are adults in their 20s and 30s in peak fighting condition with no children or elderly present, many of whom are wearing baggy summer outfits that could easily conceal a pistol. Not Velasquez, of course; she couldn't hide anything in that bikini, but some of them. Some are 'casually' going off in pairs to take strolls around the neighborhood, others go out in groups for 'another supply run,' when you've got enough stuff to hold your own rock festival already. So, I'm thinking that our street, and maybe a five-block radius around it, is presently the safest place in the world. My question, then, and I have a feeling you're going to want to answer this one privately: 'Why does Helen's visit mean that our house needs to be the safest place in the world?'"
"Is that too many?" Helen answered, coyly. "I guess I did only need twelve of them to destroy the balance of power in Central Africa, didn't I?" She saw that Troy was still waiting for an answer and straightened up. "We haven't even been to Seattle yet. We landed in Portland with no fanfare yesterday, spent the day buying some used cars, trucks, a Winnebago or two, and drove up I-5 early this morning. So extra protection was needed for the road trip. The rest..." Helen took a final drag of her cigarette before dropping it through the hole in the can. "Yes, we'll probably want to talk in private about that. Is there a place we can go?"
"Well, Helen," Susan said with a genuine smile. "If it means we've got a little time to actually see you; then I, for one, welcome our new Ultimado Overlords."
Helen gave a genuine smile back, as well. "Genuine" was a word that she'd come to associate with Susan more and more since they'd put their bad first meeting behind them and were working on being friends. It was a trait that Helen associated with Julie, as well.
At that moment, a Frisbee landed in the middle of them. The tall, bald man with sunglasses, whom Troy and Susan had seen cross the road when they pulled up, came into their back yard in search of it. Helen waved him over.
"Oh hey, gotta introduce you guys." She called over to him. "Oi, Mander!"
Troy and Susan had been too startled to notice when he ran across the street before, but as he approached, they could now see the large caliber, black-finished pistol in a holster on his belt. Susan leaned closer to Helen and spoke before Mander came into earshot.
"I have another question, Helen." She said. "Why is the henchman from every 80s action movie in our yard?"
"You think so?" Helen replied. "I always think Vinnie Jones."
Mander bounded over to them.
"Right 'ere, Your Countessness. An' I'm guessin' these three are Mr. & Mrs. Equals and Ms. Bailey. Lovely to meet ya." He leaned over to Helen and whispered, "Who was the game bird that left?"
"That was Claire..." Helen hesitated a second. "You know, I didn't get her last name. She had to go, I don't know how often she comes by, but I'm sure I can get her number for you."
"This ain't that kind of vacation fer me, I'm afraid." Mander replied.
Helen turned back to the group.
"Mander's going to be helping me out with some stuff while I'm in town. But yes, Troy. We should talk somewhere else."
Troy stood up and made a "right this way" motion back into the house. The two of them left.
Mander took Helen's seat, and he, Julie, and Susan looked across from each other for a number of seconds.
"Lovely 'ome ya've got 'ere." Mander said at last, looking through the open kitchen door. "What kind of tilin' izzat?"
* * *
"Well, that brings us to the Ultimados." Troy replied. "Contessa Helena de San Finzione does not need thirty-six Ultimados to protect her in Seattle. Even if riots broke out and the city became a war zone, she could re-take it with less than ten. You've had us under 24-hour surveillance with just two of them. After the attempt on your life last month, say fifteen or twenty might be a reasonable precaution. Some of whom, you'd need to keep downtown with Rita, of course.
"Now, the 'Green Family Reunion' is going on next door; and, by the way, nobody who isn't on TV or in the movies goes and gets a damn professional-made banner for a party. A party where all of the family members are adults in their 20s and 30s in peak fighting condition with no children or elderly present, many of whom are wearing baggy summer outfits that could easily conceal a pistol. Not Velasquez, of course; she couldn't hide anything in that bikini, but some of them. Some are 'casually' going off in pairs to take strolls around the neighborhood, others go out in groups for 'another supply run,' when you've got enough stuff to hold your own rock festival already. So, I'm thinking that our street, and maybe a five-block radius around it, is presently the safest place in the world. My question, then, and I have a feeling you're going to want to answer this one privately: 'Why does Helen's visit mean that our house needs to be the safest place in the world?'"
"Is that too many?" Helen answered, coyly. "I guess I did only need twelve of them to destroy the balance of power in Central Africa, didn't I?" She saw that Troy was still waiting for an answer and straightened up. "We haven't even been to Seattle yet. We landed in Portland with no fanfare yesterday, spent the day buying some used cars, trucks, a Winnebago or two, and drove up I-5 early this morning. So extra protection was needed for the road trip. The rest..." Helen took a final drag of her cigarette before dropping it through the hole in the can. "Yes, we'll probably want to talk in private about that. Is there a place we can go?"
"Well, Helen," Susan said with a genuine smile. "If it means we've got a little time to actually see you; then I, for one, welcome our new Ultimado Overlords."
Helen gave a genuine smile back, as well. "Genuine" was a word that she'd come to associate with Susan more and more since they'd put their bad first meeting behind them and were working on being friends. It was a trait that Helen associated with Julie, as well.
At that moment, a Frisbee landed in the middle of them. The tall, bald man with sunglasses, whom Troy and Susan had seen cross the road when they pulled up, came into their back yard in search of it. Helen waved him over.
"Oh hey, gotta introduce you guys." She called over to him. "Oi, Mander!"
Troy and Susan had been too startled to notice when he ran across the street before, but as he approached, they could now see the large caliber, black-finished pistol in a holster on his belt. Susan leaned closer to Helen and spoke before Mander came into earshot.
"I have another question, Helen." She said. "Why is the henchman from every 80s action movie in our yard?"
"You think so?" Helen replied. "I always think Vinnie Jones."
Mander bounded over to them.
"Right 'ere, Your Countessness. An' I'm guessin' these three are Mr. & Mrs. Equals and Ms. Bailey. Lovely to meet ya." He leaned over to Helen and whispered, "Who was the game bird that left?"
"That was Claire..." Helen hesitated a second. "You know, I didn't get her last name. She had to go, I don't know how often she comes by, but I'm sure I can get her number for you."
"This ain't that kind of vacation fer me, I'm afraid." Mander replied.
Helen turned back to the group.
"Mander's going to be helping me out with some stuff while I'm in town. But yes, Troy. We should talk somewhere else."
Troy stood up and made a "right this way" motion back into the house. The two of them left.
Mander took Helen's seat, and he, Julie, and Susan looked across from each other for a number of seconds.
"Lovely 'ome ya've got 'ere." Mander said at last, looking through the open kitchen door. "What kind of tilin' izzat?"
* * *
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