29-03-2019, 05:56 PM
The Continuing Education of Susan Ch. 02
"It doesn't matter what I say,v as long as I sing with inflection,
that makes you feel I'll convey
some inner truth or sad reflection.
But I've said nothing so far,
and I can keep it up for as long as it takes.
And it don't matter who you are.
If I'm doing my job, it's your resolve that breaks."
-Blues Traveler, "Hook"
Hey, hon, how're you doing tonight? I'm Sue. What can I get for ya?
Sorry, that's a reflex from dropping out of college at 16 to begin waitressing and being stuck in the same all-night greasy spoon for twelve years. I know the term for it these days is "service industry," but fuck 'em: It was a shitty highway diner and my ass is hard enough to deflect bullets from getting pinched and slapped by drunks and meth-ed up truckers all those years; I was a fuckin' waitress.
Like Suzy-Ho, I also live in Susan's head. If we want to get all Freud here, you might say I represent her survival instinct. I helped her power through all the shit Chad used to do to us and keep going. Today's not as bad as that, she's just going around trying to put up flyers for the yoga studios, which requires a lot of dealing with getting hit on by creepy assholes, and that's shaking her confidence. (We have to stop at a lot of gyms, and muscle-bound assholes with tiny 'roid dicks who think they can Alpha Male their way into our pants remind her of Chad.) So that's why I'm here.
Well, that and to keep Suzy-Q away from them. You haven't met her, and I hope you don't. She's the "Chad's Whipped Mule" of the gang in here, and she makes my job a lot harder. If I let her take charge, she'd say yes and go along with them and get us gang-bangd in an alley just to feel some kind of validation. God, I can't wait to get the hang of this thing Troy & Julie have been teaching us. Not dealing with that shit is just one of the ways it's going to make life a lot better.
Oh, wait. There's a guy who's not being a jerk and going to let us put one up? And give us a free coffee without hitting on us? All right, Susan's feeling better now. Back to you in the studio, Susan.
* * *
"It doesn't matter what I say,v as long as I sing with inflection,
that makes you feel I'll convey
some inner truth or sad reflection.
But I've said nothing so far,
and I can keep it up for as long as it takes.
And it don't matter who you are.
If I'm doing my job, it's your resolve that breaks."
-Blues Traveler, "Hook"
Hey, hon, how're you doing tonight? I'm Sue. What can I get for ya?
Sorry, that's a reflex from dropping out of college at 16 to begin waitressing and being stuck in the same all-night greasy spoon for twelve years. I know the term for it these days is "service industry," but fuck 'em: It was a shitty highway diner and my ass is hard enough to deflect bullets from getting pinched and slapped by drunks and meth-ed up truckers all those years; I was a fuckin' waitress.
Like Suzy-Ho, I also live in Susan's head. If we want to get all Freud here, you might say I represent her survival instinct. I helped her power through all the shit Chad used to do to us and keep going. Today's not as bad as that, she's just going around trying to put up flyers for the yoga studios, which requires a lot of dealing with getting hit on by creepy assholes, and that's shaking her confidence. (We have to stop at a lot of gyms, and muscle-bound assholes with tiny 'roid dicks who think they can Alpha Male their way into our pants remind her of Chad.) So that's why I'm here.
Well, that and to keep Suzy-Q away from them. You haven't met her, and I hope you don't. She's the "Chad's Whipped Mule" of the gang in here, and she makes my job a lot harder. If I let her take charge, she'd say yes and go along with them and get us gang-bangd in an alley just to feel some kind of validation. God, I can't wait to get the hang of this thing Troy & Julie have been teaching us. Not dealing with that shit is just one of the ways it's going to make life a lot better.
Oh, wait. There's a guy who's not being a jerk and going to let us put one up? And give us a free coffee without hitting on us? All right, Susan's feeling better now. Back to you in the studio, Susan.
* * *
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