Adultery The Unwanted Houseguest by Indiansubmale - a tribute

[manasi]

Hi Manasi,


How are you doing?, Sorry for late reply.
Actually after jaya declared her self " manu is like her brother " I lost my excitement and I just thought kavita and manu reunion in only left. If it's going to happen I want to ask you one question " describe kavita? " then " why did she take her pils on prem visiting day " etc But you did something I didn't expect and all changed. I was num and I feel something missing no something's not completed. So I just read the original and your continution one more time.i am a slow reader so it took long time for me. You did fantastic job in analysing the original story and you planned very well the continution. But in continuation you did some mistakes too.

1. Kavita character Raveling you intentionally hide her true self for the final update and it's not expressed as you planned. You just not explained it thoroughly.
   
2. Manu - I don't know about everyone but I was disappointed in his ending. From the beginning all secret to him and in the end too. 
   
3. Nobody tell him what's happened? and what's happening? in his life.
   
4. All his training in ashram and jaya character not worked as you planned. At some point these episodes just misleaded the readers.
   
5. You created intresting characters and intresting situations with them but you did not extend those points maybe because the limitations which comes with the original story.
   
6. I didn't understand this point kavita want to hide her secret from prem and she want manu accept Prem chaild as his chaild. How she thinks this will happen with out talking to manu first.
   

After reading complete story I just loss respect for kavita character. She is worse than Prem. She is just hiding her true self and lying to everyone. She don't know what is love. That is why she unable to understand manu love and his pain. She is selfish. she used Prem in college days and she try to use him after her return from America too. She never love anybody other then her self. She just disappeared from everyone after guruji and Jaya know all her secrets.

Hearty congratulations for spending time for valuable analysis.

I take pleasure and energy from your tedious analysis.

I agree with you for leaving loose ends without completing the story. I could have finished it with just one epilogue. I did not for just two reasons. First, it could be expanded to another thrilling real life cycle. Second, I am not in a position to devote time for a long innings.

Your dis-respect for Kavita is well acceptable. No character is perfect to everyone's expectations and what I merely did was to allow Kavita character vibrate as naturally as possible tuning from original. I believe a character behave naturally unless forced upon by  stimuli external or internal. Character deviation is more important than morality. Characters make judgemental errors on various factors and repent subsequently - that's real life.

Please read original and continue reading the tribute without diverting attention to other contributions from various readers to focus on the characters' flow and point out the deviations. Please respect the characterization of original author. Multitasking is not easy for most of us.

Be critical in your review with a free mind considering socio-economical background.

Though, I am not a regular visitor of this forum, I will definitely join from time to time.