27-03-2019, 03:06 AM
Chapter-54: Slobbery
Update-206
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Us samay mere paas do raaste the lekin manzil ek bhi nahi...na jaane kaise raaste the,jo kahi tak nahi gaye...balki mujhe aur bhi peechhe dhakel diya...pahla raasta Aradhna ke roop me tha, jaha main ek hawasi ki tarah jaana chahta tha aur dusara raasta Esha ke roop me tha ,jaha main humraah, humsafar,humnuma,helium,hydrogen....whatever you can call ki tarah jana chahta tha...par galti mujhse tab hui jab maine kisi ek ko chunne ke bajaay dono ko chuna...Mere dost hamesha mujhe rokte the, wo kahte the ki naari,narak ka dwar hoti hai...lekin mera jawaab hota ki yadi naari narak me jaane se milne wali ho to phhir swarg me bhajiya talne kaun jayega....mere dost hamesha kahte ki do kashti me pair rakhkar kabhi samundar paar nahi kiya ja sakta aur tab mera jawaab hota ki yadi mujhe ek hee kashti me pair rakhkar samundar paar karna hota to phhir main do kashti laata hee kyun....
Mujhe samjhane ke mere dosto ke kamjor tark aur mujhe aisa karne se rokne ke unke kamjor vitark ne mujhe in dono raasto me laat maar kar bheja...jabki mere dosto ko mere ye dono kadam hee pasand nahi the....upar se mujhme confidence itna jyada tha ki main us samay yahi socha karta tha ki duniya ki koyi bhi situation..kaisi bhi condition ho, main use jhel sakta hoon aur apne 1400 gm ke brain ka istemaal karke use apne anuroop badal bhi sakta hoon...yahi vajah thi ki mera sixth sense bhi mujhe us waqt dhokha de raha tha,jab main apni barbaadi ki raah par khushi se aise badh raha tha jaise wo barbaadi na hokar kamyabi ho....
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"na Esha na Aradhna...pata nahi ye dono kaha chali gayi...Esha ka to phhir bhi samajh aata hai, lekin ye Aradhna kaha marwa rahi hai..."sochate hue maine sur aur taal ko mix karke ek dhun ke sath kaha"Aradhna tu aaja...apne ek-ek kilo ke dono doodh dikha ja...
chut teri bahut pyari, apni gand tu Arun ko chata ja..."
"Aradhnaaaaaaaa....."mere dwara Arun apni tareef sunkar khisiyate hue jor se cheekha....jiske baad pure canteen me Aradhna ka naam gunj utha....
"bakchod hai kya be, aise kyun uska naam chilla raha hai...."maine fauran Arun ka muh band kiya aur use aankhe dikhayi...jiske baad Saurabh ne bhi Aradhna ka naam liya aur canteen me ek baar phhir Aradhna ka naam gunjane laga....
"chillao beta chillao...khud ka to khada hota nahi ,isiliye dusare ki tarakki dekhi nahi jaati..."
"roj raat ko main teri tarakki dekhta hoon...jab tu ek hath se mobile pakad kar us Aradhna lawdi se baat karte hue bathroom me mutth marte rahta hai...kya kamaal ki tarakki ki hai..."
"ha to maine kam se kam itna to kiya hai, tune kya ukhaad liya jo aise bol raha hai...."
"udhar dekh, teri maal aa gayi...ja chipak jaa usase..."aankho se ek taraf ishara karte hue abki baar Sulabh ne kaha....
"sala ,kya jamana aa gaya hai...kaise-kaise log mujhe chamkane lage hai....tum logo ko line par laana hee hoga..."Sulabh ko bolte hue maine us taraf dekha,jis taraf Sulabh ne aankho se ishara kiya tha....
"ye to Esha ,tum sab yaha se niklo aur mera bill bhi bhar dena,,,mere paas dus hazar ka note hai..."kahte hue maine apne dono pair ko bade aaram se bahar nikala aur aise role me chalne laga ,jaise mujhe kuchh hua hee na ho....halaanki is tarah se normal chalne par mujhe gand-faad dard bhi ho raha tha lekin wo sab dard Esha ko dekhkar hee jaha se aaya tha ,wahi ghus bhi ja raha tha....
"pahle to sirf suna tha, aaj to yakin ho gaya ki wakayi pyar me taqaat hoti hai...how boring "
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"meow..."Esha jis table par baithi,usi ke paas khade hokar maine kaha.
"kitni baar kaha hai tumse..."gusse se Esha ne us jagah mujhe mara,jaha mujhe sabse adhik aur sabse gahra zakhm tha....
dil to kiya ki abhich Esha ko is dard ke equal dard doon lekin phhir socha ki rahne do, by mistake ho gaya hai....isliye is baar jaane do.lekin jo dard utha tha use to mujhe sahna hee tha ,wo bhi bina halak se ek aawaz nikale...isliye maine dard ka andar hee andar gala ghotate hue apni ek aankh band ki aur body ko tight kiya....
"kya hua,..ek aankh band kyun kar li bille..."
"raat bhar padhayi karke aaya hoon,isliye neend aa rahi hai...."Sambhalkar ek chair par baithte hue maine usase puchha"Divya se abhi tak baat-chit chalu nahi hui kya...jo ab bhi kisi billi ki tarah akele idhar se udhar fudakti rahti hai..."
"uska naam mat lo, wo to ek no. Ki kameeni hai...mera bas chale to uske saare baal noch loon..."
"kaha ke baal nochegi "bolte hue meri jubaan slip ho gayi lekin Esha kuch samjhe uske pahle hee ek taraf ishara karte hue main hadbadahat me bola"udhar dekh use janti hai kya..."
"nahi..."
"aur use..."dusari taraf ishara karte maine phhir kaha... "nahi..."
"tab to us moti ko yakinan jaanti hogi..." "bilkul nahi "
"ok,no problem....haan to tu kya bol rahi thi...ki tera dil karta hai ki.........."
"mera dil karta hai ki main uske sar ke saare baal noch loon...wo ek no. Ki kameeni hai...ab dekho na Arman, hum dono ke beech ladayi hai use ye baat apne ghar me batane ki kya jaroorat thi...lekin nahi, usne sab kuchh apne gharwalo ko bata diya..yaha tak ke Gautam ko bhi..."
"Gautam...."uska naam jab beech me Esha ne liya to mera dil kiya ki mujhe jitni galiya aati hai ,sab use de dalu...lekin main ek sharif student tha, isliye maine aise kuchh bhi na karke bade shant dhang se Esha se puchha..."Gautam...kaha hai mera bhai aajkal..."(Gautam sale ,teri *** ki chut, teri *** ka bhosda...mar ja MC,jaha kahi bhi ho...)
"ok Arman,ab main chalti hoon...warna yadi Divya ne tumhe mere sath dekh liya to ghar me phhir se bata degi...."itna bolkar Esha waha se chalte bani...
"phhir se KAPD...."
"hellooooo siiiirrrr...."mujhe dekhkar aankh marte hue Aradhna boli... "helllooooo maaammm..."maine bhi barabar aankh marte hue jawab diya...
ab jab do opposite sex wale human being ke beech is tarah ka hi,hello ho to ummide kuchh jyada hee badh jati hai...lekin meri un ummidon ko chaknachur karte hue Aradhna ki saheliya ,Aradhna ke sath usi table par baith gayi,jaha main baitha tha...jabki mera andaaza tha ki Aradhna mere sath baithegi aur uski baki gang hum dono se kahi door jaakar apna aasan dekhengi...lekin aisa kuchh bhi nahi hua aur Aradhna ke sath-sath uski baki saheliyo ne bhi chair se apni gand tikayi...
Maine Aradhna ko isharo hee isharo me bahut kaha ki wo apni in fuljhadiyo ko door bhej de,lekin Aradhna ko to kuchh alag hee khujali thi....wo har baar bade pyar se mujhe nakaar deti aur mand-mand muskurati....shuru me to sab kuchh under control raha lekin jaise-jaise canteen me lagi badi si ghadi ke bade se kaante aage badhi mujhe Aradhna ki saheliyo ko bardasht karna mushkil ho gaya....faliyo ne mujhe itna bore kiya...itna pakaya ki unke sath baithne se achchha main Chhatrapal ki chutiya class ek din me do baar attend kar loon,wo bhi pure dil se.......
"sir aapke paas easy language me physics-2 ke notes hai kya....mujhe physics ke funde kuchh samajh nahi aa rahe..."Aradhna ke left side me baithi ek dubali-patli si ladki ne puchha....
"second sem. Ke notes aur mere paas ,mere paas to 8th sem ke bhi notes nahi hai.. Waise Physics ke rules ko chat kar ja bilkul,thik usi tarah jis tarah tu is chatni ko chaat rahi hai aur ek baat ka dhyan rakha 'aap physics ke khilaf nahi ja sakte' ,warna kurre ,kurkure ki tarah tod-marod dega..."
"sir, Ed bahut hard lagta hai...kya aapka wo subject clear hai..."abki baar Aradhna ke right side me baithi moti bhains ne mujhse puchha....
"ab ye main kaise batau..."
"thik hai...tum teeno yahi raho, main abhi aati hoon..."bolkar Aradhna waha se uthi aur canteen ke
bahar chal di....
Aradhna ke jaane ke thodi der baad main apni jagah se utha hee tha ki Us moti bhains ne mujhe wapas baithne ke liye kah diya...
"baithiye na sir..."
"dar-asal main bahut sharmila ladka hoon aur mujhe ladkiyo ke beech bahut sharam aati hai..."bolkar main waha se langdate hue bahar aaya ki tabhi Aradhna mujhe Canteen ke bahar khadi mil gayi... "mujhe pata tha, ye aapka hee khurapati idea tha,mujhe meri saheliyo se door karne ka..."
"wo sab chhod aur pahle ye bata ki muh me legi kya...."
Update-207 :
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Mera itna kahna hee tha ki Aradhna ne ghoor kar mujhe aise dekha jaise maine uske muh me lund dene ki baat kahi hoon...waise mera matlab to wahi tha
"lagta hai, tu pure vegetarian hai...isiliye itna ghoor rahi hai...chal chhod..."bolte hue main uske bagal me khada ho gaya...
"accident kaise hua tha aapka siirrr..."
"aise aawaz nikal kar puchhegi to phhir se ek naya accident ho jayega..." "batao na..."
"hmm...ek minute ruk,mujhe remind karne de...haan ,yaad aa gaya...."Aradhna ke aur paas khisakte hue main bola"us samay main bike par tha aur meri bike speed 80 km/h ke uniform velocity se ja rahi thi aur accident hone ki probability zero thi...us waqt aage ek scorpio aur saamne ek truck tha aur dono ke beech parabolic curve banate hue maine bike ki speed ko resist kiya aur phhir dhoom-dhadaka...." "sunne me to bahut maza aa raha hai..."
Mere dosto aur warden ke baad Aradhna is duniya ki aisi teesari shaks thi ,jise maine mere accident ke baare me sach bataya tha...kyunki mujhe inke saamne apni izzat ki koyi parvaah nahi thi....
"to ab kaisi hai tabiyat..."mera hath pakadte hue Aradhna ne puchha.. "ekdum chaka chak..."Aradhna ki is harqat ko dekhte hue maine kaha.... "to phhir room chale..."
"room...chal hat.."Aradhna ka hath chhodte hue maine kaha"abhi bhi meri raat bistar par bina karwat badle guzarti hai aur tu kah rahi hai ki main teri karwat badal-badal kar loon...ashleel kahi ki" "ok...then , ab kya baat kare,..."
"aaja padhayi ki baat karte hai...ye bata tune Haweli padhi hai..." "nahi, ye kya hai..."
"chal chhod ye bata Haweli-2 padhi hai..." "nahi...ye hai kya.."
"ye bhi chhod aur ab ye bata Dead Never lie padhi hai..." "nahi..."
"doob mar phhir "mayoos hote hue maine kaha , ki tabhi mujhe Avadhesh Gilhare Canteen ki taraf jata hua dikhayi diya, jise maine Esha aur Divya ke upar nigrani rakhne ke liye kaha tha....
"Avadhesh ruk to yar..."
"Arman..."mera naam lete hue wo meri taraf aakar bola"kaisa hai yar ab, Sulabh ne bataya tha tere accident ke baare me...."
"Aradhna tu yahi ruk, main isase baat karke aata hoon..." "kaun si baat..."
"ssshhh ,kisi ko batana mat main ek undercover agent hoon aur ye mera assistant hai...aata hoon na ,do minute rook idhar hee..."bolte hue main Avadhesh ke sath ,jaha Aradhna khadi thi,waha se thodi door aaya....
"chal bata kya khabar laya hai..."
"kuchh bhi interesting news nahi hai yar, tu faltu me un dono faltu ladkiyo ke peechhe apni jaan de raha hai...matlab dono abhi tak ek-dusare se baat nahi karti..."
"matlab Line straight hai, kahi koyi ghumavdaar jaisa chiz nahi hai..." "matlab..."humse thodi door me khadi Aradhna ko dekhkar Avadhesh ne puchha...
"matlab tu nahi samjhega...kuchh naya hoga to batana aur udhar dekhna band kar,meri maal hai wo..." "abey main galat nazar se nahi dekh raha hoon use..."
"to phhir kya tu use upar se neeche tak aise aankhe gada-gada kar bahan ki nazar se dekh raha hai fale incest lover...."
"kya yar ,tu bhi.....kuchh bhi bol deta hai. Abey main use isliye aise dekh raha tha kyunki main kuchh confirm kar raha tha..."
"aur kya main puchh sakta hoon ki tu kya confirm kar raha tha..."
"yahi ki ye wahi ladki hai ya nahi,jiska raasta kuchh din pahle Yashwant ne roka tha...tujhe nahi maloom kya..."
"nahi..."Esha aur Divya ka pura matter bhoolkar maine puchha...
"bhai,bawal hone wala tha us din...wo apna detainer hai na Yashwant, us din college ke gate ke paas ise aur iski saheliyo ko rok liya tha..."
"phhir kya hua..."matter ke andar ghuste hue maine kaha...
"Yashwant aur uske dosto ko to janta hee hai, BC...dinbhar college ke gate ke bahar ladkiyo par comment thokte rahte hai...us din bhi kuchh yahi hua.College ke baad main city bus me baitha tha ki ye
ladki ,jise tu apni maal kah raha hai, wo waha se guzari to Yashwant ne apni aadat ke mafiq kuchh ulta- seedha bol diya, lekin uske baad teri isi maal ne Yashwant ko kuchh bura-bhala kah diya...phhir to lawda
,sabki gand hee fat gayi...sabko lagne laga tha ki kuchh bawal hoga, lekin maloom nahi yashwant ko achanak kya hua,jo wo ekdum se thanda pad gaya...."
"aur kuchh bhi hai batane ko ya bas baat khatm..."Avadhesh ke rukne ke baad maine puchha.... "bas itna hee matter tha..."
"chal thik hai bye..."bolte hue main Aradhna ke paas pahucha..."Yash ke sath tera kya lafda hua tha..." "kaun yash..."mere dwara ekdum achanak se aise bolne ke karan Aradhna chauk gayi...
"are yar,wahi...jisne tujhe kuchh din pahle gate ke bahar roka tha..."
"achchha...wo...wo ,are lafda kuchh nahi hai,bas wo mujhe dhamka raha tha ki wo ye kar dega, wo kar dega....lekin jab main kaha ki Arman is my boyfriend...jaisa ki tumne kaha tha ki yadi koyi pareshan kare to ye kah dena...maine kaha, uske baad to usne kuchh nahi kaha...siway kuchh apshabd tumhe kahne ke aalawa..."
"thank you very much...ab aap yaha se apni class ke liye prasthan kijiye...aapki claas shuru ho chuki hogi..."
"ok bye, shaam ko milte hai..."hawa me bye ka symbol banakar apne hath hilate hue Aradhna waha se chalti bani aur main jitna tez chal sakta tha, utni tezi se apne classroom ki taraf badha....
"oye Arun, Saurabh aur baki hostelers...tum logo ko kya aisa nahi lagta ki hum log kuchh jyada hee sharifi ki zindagi jee rahe hai....matlab no maar-dhad,no dhoom-dhadaka...."
"haan ,mujhe to aisa hee lagta hai..."ek ne kaha....
abhi recess ka time chal raha tha aur class ke sare ladke-ladkiya meri aadat se wakif the ,isliye main bindaas bol raha tha....
"to chalo, aaj life ko kuchh interesting banate hai...."
"abey seedhe-seedhe bol kisko thokna hai...aisi bakloli mat kar..."Apni jagah par baithe-baithe hee Arun bola...
"abey pahle class se niklo to sahi..."
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class me total 12 ladke hostel wale the .un sabko lekar main aage badha ki tabhi kisi ne peechhe se puchha...
"marne kisko ja rahe hai...kahi hum kam na pad jaye,tu kahe to saamne wali class se 10-12 ko aur sath le loon..."
"le le...apna kya jata hai...lekin beta khayal rakhiyo, kisi ko pelna nahi hai,bas hool dene ja rahe hai...." "kaun hai wo BKL..."
"Yashwant...Varun ka shishya..."
"lekin wo to ab NSUI president ban chuka hai, BC kahi usne bhi ladke laakar khade kar diye to..." "dayi chod denge uski bhi aur uske ladko ke bhi..."Arun ne kaha....
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College se nikalkar hum log paidal hee main gate ki taraf chalne lage ki mujhe kuchh yaad aaya....
"ruko be, aise paidal jaane se impression kharab hoga, jao apne class ke laundo ke bike ki chabhi udhaar maang kar lao aur jo Mech-8th Sem. Me jaa raha hai,wo mere bag se mera goggle bhi le aana..."
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Mere itna bolte hee kuchh ladke bhagkar gaye aur 5 minute me hee bike ki chabhiya aur mera goggle lekar aa gaye...maine apna goggle lagaya aur ek bike ki chabhi apne hath me li...
"tu chala lega be,ya main chalau...kahi us din ki tarah thok mat dena"Arun ne mujhse kaha...
"tu baith peechhe, chalane ko to main aeroplane chala loon,phhir ye bike kya chiz hai...."
"Yashwant college ke main gate ke bahar abhi hai ,pahle ye to confirm kar le...nahi to faltu me waha jaakar chus lenge..."
"good..."
Maine turant apna mobile nikala aur Main gate ke bahar bane photocopy ke dukaan sambhalne wale ladke ko call kiya aur usase Yashwant ke baare me puchha....
"khushkhabri hai be...wo Yash wahi hai,chalo chodate hai BKL ko..." "challllloooo....."bike par sawar hokar sab chillaye....
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Parking se college ke gate tak pahuchne me hume chand minutes hee lage.Jaisa ki photocopy wale ne bataya tha, waisich hee waha ka scene tha...yani ki Yashwant ek chay-samose ke dukaan par baitha cigarette pee raha tha aur uske sath 6-7 ladke the.....
"Arun,Shooting ki shuruat kar..."Us chay-samose ke dukaan ke paas pahuch kar maine kaha... "Movie -Yashwant ki chudai, take number-1...action...."
"abey oye chuswant, idhar aa be BC..."Arun ke action bolne ke baad meri muh se pahli line yahi nikli....
Update-208 :
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Yashwant waise to tha bada tagda aur jis hisaab se uski reputation college me thi uske anusar use mujhe
bilkul nazar-andaz kar dena chahiye tha...lekin wo us waqt thoda confuse dikha aur thodi der tak charo taraf dekhne ke baad chay ka glass dukaan me rakhkar humari taraf badha.....
College me reputation banana bahut aasan hai lekin use barkarar rakhna utna hee mushqil.iske bahut saare example mere paas hai jaise ki Varun, Gautam...dono ki reputation shuruat me ekdum faadu thi lekin baad me jo hua ,wo sab jaante hai...wahi dusari taraf Sidar bhai ka jo darza college me unke rahte hue tha wo unke jaane ke baad bhi tha...Sidar bhai ,ab kaha honge ,ye koyi nahi jaanta lekin har saal hostel me aane wala har banda unke baare me zaroor jaanega aur aisa tab tak chalta rahega ,jab tak humara college chalta rahega....aur agar meri baat ki jaaye to, meri to baat hee alag hai
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Yashwant ke sath uske sath ke bhi ladke uske peechhe-peechhe humare paas aa pahuche . bahut der tak hum me se koyi kuchh nahi bola, sab apne-apne opposition ko maun vrat dharan kiye hue nihare jaa rahe the....
"abey oye, yaha ek-dusare ko propose karne aaye ho kya jo kab se ek-dusare ko dekhe jaa rahe ho...."sabka maun vrat todte hue main cheekha....
"haan bol ,kya hua....aur naam zara izzat se le..."Chuswant ne akad kar kaha...
"izzat layak kuchh kiya hota to main tere charan dhota lekin haqiqat ye nahi hai...to phhir tune ye kaise soch liya ki main tujhse achchhe se baat karunga be chuswant...chussu..chusail...chutiye..."
"ruk lawda..."apna mobile nikalkar Yashwant bola"yadi jigar hai to dus minute yahi ruk..."
"dekh be akhand chutiye...yaha matter ye nahi hai ki main yaha kab tak rukunga, balki matter ye hai ki tu yaha kab tak rukega...."kahte hue main bike se utra aur Yashwant ke kaan par jordar jhapad mara ,jisase uska mobile neeche gira aur Yashwant sanna gaya.....
"maro be ,lawdo in pappuo ko..."bolte hue maine yashwant ka baal pakda aur uska sar upar apni taraf karte hue kaha"abhi samjha raha hoon ,sudhar ja...warna agli baar marunga...kal se yadi kisi ne bhi complaint kiya ki tune kisi bhi ladki par comment kiya to phhir aisa fodunga ki yaha baithkar comment karna to door facebook me bhi comment karne layak nahi rahega....ab chal jaa.."
Yashwant ko chhodkar main peechhe muda ,lekin maloom nahi mera kya mood hua ,jo main ekdum se peechhe palta aur Yashwant ke dusare kaan ko bhi jhanna diya....
"sale abhi tak gaya nahi..."
Mere itna bolte hee Saurabh ek danda liye hue aaya aur ghuma kar Yashwant ke peeth me jad diya..... "abey, marna nahi hai...samjhana hai..."
"laad mera samjhana hai...is BC ko to first year se taad raha tha main,..."bolte hue Saurabh ne ek baar phhir Yashwant ko pela.....
Jab se maine Yashwant ko pahla jhapad jada tha tab se wo bas khade hokar mujhe dekhe jaa raha tha...jab Saurabh ne usko dande se thoka tab bhi wo waisa hee khada raha...
"madarlund ghoorta kya hai be...marega kya, le maar....beta jitne tere paas ladke nahi honge na usase adhik to mere paas bike hai aur har bike me minimum teen ladke sawar rahte hai...maximum tu kitne bhi le le aur itna dukhi kyun ho raha hai.tere aatm-samman ko dhakka pahucha kya...abey dil pe mat le, tere guru ,Varun tak ko chod kar baitha hoon ..."
"chalo be..aaj time kharab hai..."itani der me pahli baar Yashwant kuchh bola aur apne dosto ke sath waha se jaane laga...lekin thodi door jakar wo bola"Arman, tera game main bajaunga...bas kuchh din ruk jaa.."
"MC...jyada bolega to shaheed kar dunga yahi..."Arun chillaya.... "Arman tu apne din ginne shuru kar de..."
"mere jaise hee ek mahan vyakti ne kaha tha ki 'don't count the days, make the days count'....din tum
jaise chusad gina karte hai, hum jaise log to har din ko yaadgar banate hai aur ja, jitne Pappu ikattha kar sakta hai kar le ,mera vaada hai tujhse,jis din bhi tu aayega, puri tarah chud ke jayega....All the best , Chushwant"
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"matter kya tha ,Yashwant ko marne ka..."
"kuchh khas nahi ,aise hee mood hua to thok diya..."
"beta bina bhook ke to insaan khana bhi nahi khata, phhir tujh jaise selfish aur fattu bina kisi matlab ke aise hee kisi ko nahi maar sakta, wo bhi ye jante hue ki saamne wala baad me teri le bhi sakta hai...isliye muh khol aur sach-sach bak ki matter kya tha..."
"matter...well matter is the Objects that take up space and have mass are called matter. Everything around you is made up of matter. Chocolate cake is made up of matter. You are made of matter. "
"ye le mukka, this punch is also made up of matter ,now tell me the real matter..."ek ghusa mere pet me jad kar Arun bola...
"kuchh nahi be...hoooh...wo Aradhna ko ulta -seedha bola tha usne....aahhh, bose dk, thoda dheere mara kar..."
"Aradhna, matlab laundiya...ye to hostel ke niyamo ke shakht khilaf hai...Sidar bhai ne kaha tha ki ladki ke lafde me koyi kisi ka sath nahi dega..."
"dekh Aalund(Arun ) ,main khud bhi Sidar ki izzat karta hoon lekin wo rule unke jamane ka tha aur ab dusara jamana hai....waise bhi tere siwa kisko maloom hai ki maine ye sab kisi ladki ke peechhe kiya hai..."aankh marte hue main bola...
"Arman,apne laundo se jhooth bolna buri baat hai..."
"nahi re Aalund, jhooth bolna buri baat nahi hai matlab achchhi tarah se jhooth na bolna buri baat hai...ab tu hee dekh, Hostel wale is waqt ye soch rahe hai ki maine sajjan purush wala kaam kiya hai
,Yashwant ko maarkar....kyunki Yashwant se college ki sari ladkiya pareshaan thi...infact ab to wo ladkiya mujhe apna bhagwan bana lengi....beta ,Arun...duniya me mahaan banne ke sirf do raste hai, pahla ya to mahano wala kaam karo ya phhir chhota-mota kaam karke use mahaan tarike se sabke saamne pesh karo...ab nikalta hoon, meri daru ki botal mera intezaar kar rahi hogi...."
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Us din pure hostel me sabse 100-100 lekar mahotsva ka aayojan kiya gaya tha...hostel me pel ke daru aayi thi, jise jo brand jitni bhi chahiye thi ,use de diya gaya aur sab ko dene ke baad hum bhi gala tar karne ke liye baithe.....
"Arman bhai,ek baat puchhu"Rajshri Pandey ne apni farmaish pesh ki...
"puchh...puchh, dharti se lekar aasmaan tak kuchh bhi puchh daal...sabka jawab dega re tera Faizal..." "Aradhna ko aapne kaise set kiya..."
"Aradhna...."pahle to main joro se hansa ,phhir achanak serious ho gaya aur phhir kuhchh der tak sochane ke baad bola"it's a long story bro...sau saal lag jayenge ise bayaan karne me..."
"thik hai koyi baat nahi, ab main sone jata hoon...bahut chadh gayi hai mujhe..."bolkar Pandey ji ladkhadate hue uthe aur do kadam chalne ke baad dhadaam se gir pade...
"yaha gravity ki value jyada kaise hai, jo main apne aap gir gaya..."Zameen me lete-lete Pandey ji
bole"Arman bhai, kuchh gyaan ki baate batao, jisase mujhe guilty feel na ho ki maine itni jyada kyun pee li..."
"gyaan ki baate...main batata hoon.."mere muh kholne pahle Arun bol pada"dekh, Cut..Iron, Iron..nahi, Iron cut Iron, diamond cut diamond. Agree..."
"agree..."
"thik isi tarah daru cut daru, isliye yadi daru ka nasha hatana hai to aur piyo...bole to khoob piyo, khoob jiiiiiiyoooooooo...."bolte hue Arun bhi ludhak gaya....
Rajshri Pandey aur Arun ke ludhakne ke baad maine Saurabh ko dekha, wo bhi kharrate bhar raha tha... "i am the last man on this planet....sala zindagi barbaad kar di maine apni....lekin fikar not , kal se daru ko hath tak nahi lagaunga....abey utho na, mujhe baat karne ka man kar raha hai..."
Maine Arun,Saurabh aur Rajshri Pandey ko bahut uthane ki koshish ki lekin wo teeno uthe nahi...thak haar kar main deewar ki tek lekar wapas baitha aur direct botal ko muh se laga liya...
"Amitabh Bachchan kahta hai ki daru peene se liver kharab hota hai, lekin sala yaha to liver hee kharab nahi ho rahaaaaaaaa...jabki...jabki..jab....Esha i love you, yar..pat jaa na yaar..chhod de us Gautam ko,..sala bahut bada kamina hai, mujhse pyar kar phhir dekh ki pyar kis chiz ka naam hai.sala meri to kismat hee jhand hai, mujhe pyar bhi us ladki se hua, jo dusare ke pyar me jaan dene ki koshish kar chuki hai...i..love you, Esha...love you...llloovvvee you..lloovvee...."isi ke sath mera bhi banta dhar ho gaya.....
Update-209
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Waise to mere sath bahut saari dikkate judi hui hai lekin jaise sapne mujhe aate hai ,unki to baat hee alag hai...Main zindagi me sabse jyada teen baar dara hoon aur teeno baar main neend me tha.yani ki mere paas aise teen darawane sapne hai ,jo meri ab tak faad kar rakh dete hai....adhiktar sapne me dekhe gaye incident hosh me aane ke baad yaad nahi rahte ,lekin jin teen sapno ki baat main kar raha hoon, unka har ek pal jehan me aise basa hai jaise wo aam sapna na hokar (a+ b )²=a²+ 2ab +b² ka
formula ho....bole to full yaad hai...
mere top three horrible dream me third number aata hai 'A Dead dream' ka jiske baare me aap sab jaante hee hoge...dusara number aata hai ,us sapne ka jisme main raat ko achanak kisi jungle me hota hoon aur bas bhagta rahta hoon, phhir achanak mujhe ek mandir dikhta hai ,jaha kuchh log aadmiyo ki bali de rahe the....jab main bhag kar waha pahuchta hoon to wo log mujhe dekh lete hai aur mujhe pakad kar rassi se bandh dete hai....us waqt waha us mandir me kul chaar log the jinke chehre mujhe aaj tak yaad hai...un charo me se ek , ek aadmi ka gala halaal karta hai aur mujhe kahta hai ki "agli baari teri hai ,taiyar ho ja...."aur uske baad fatak se meri neend khul jati hai aur ye sab sapna tha ,iske liye main uparwale ka dil hee dil me shukriya ada karta hoon....three horrible dream ki is list me first number par jo sapna hai usme maine khud ko marte hue dekha hai aur main bata nahi sakta ki khud ko marte hue dekhna kaisa lagta hai...i think i should start a thread with title'My horrible dreams'
Well, main ye bakwas isliye kar raha hoon kyunki us raat jab main pelam-pel daru peekar...deewar ka
sahara lekar soya tha to mujhe sapne me Atindra dikha....ye mere sath aisa pahli baar ho raha tha ki jab koyi dream jo main pahle dekh chuka hoon , wo dobara se mujhe dikhayi de raha tha...matlab ki jis sapne ko maine 5 saal pahle dekha tha, wo repeat ho raha tha....scene wahi tha, main neend se utha to shaam ho chuki thi aur hostel me shor macha hua tha, pahle ki tarah maine is baar bhi khud ko kosa ki main itni der tak kaise sota raha aur phhir jis taraf halla mach raha tha us taraf bhaga ,jaha bathroom me Atindra ki body latki hui thi...uske baad meri neend khuli aur scene ab bhi bilkul waisa hee tha ,jaise ki 5 saal pahle tha...mere hosh me aate hee mera ghutna deewar par jor se takraya tha.
Waise kahne ko to sab kuchh waisa hee tha aur meri fat bhi waisi hee rahi thi lekin isme ek baat jo nayi thi wo ye ki mujhe abki baar maloom tha ki ye ek sapna hai aur sirf ek sapna....jaisa ki mere is 'A Dead dream' ki ending 5 saal pahle hui thi , waisi ab bhi ho rahi thi ,yani ki jis hall me main khana kha raha tha waha se sabhi ladke achanak hee eka-ek gayab ho gaye aur mera wo marhoom dost zameen me bikhare hue anaaj ke dano ko apne hatho se bator raha tha.....
"Arman..."apni laal aankho se usne mujhe dekha....
"tang aa chuka hoon is MC se, BC jab dekho tab tapak padta hai...."mera ye bolna mere sapne me ye dusari nayi chiz thi, jo 5 saal pahle nahi hua tha....
"tu Atindra...main teri maa chod dunga ,yadi dobara mujhe kabhi dikha to...BC har chiz ki koyi limit hoti hai .beta abhi hostel ke laundo ko bulwakar teri rooh ka bang kar dunga....aur ye tu jo khana bator raha hai use kya apne gand me bharega, chal nikal ,lawda mujhe darane aaya hai...."haste hue maine sapne me kaha aur idhar dusari taraf neend me haste hue meri neend khuli.....
"ab kabhi nahi aayega BC sapne me, finally i won..."hath uthate maine khud ko shabashi di aur uth kar khada hua....
Abhi sirf 6 baje the ,isliye maine jacket taana aur ek cigarette jala kar hostel ke bahar aa gaya....Hostel ke bahar aakar main sadak par chalte hue girls hostel ki taraf badha....
waise to meri neend 9 baje ke pahle kabhi nahi khulti thi lekin aaj jab main subah 6 baje uthkar bahar aaya to mujhe mere college ke baare me kuchh alag hee chize maloom hui, jaise ki hostel ki kuchh ladkiya ,shorts pahankar subah-subah daudane jaati hai....kuchh ladkiya apne sport ki practice bhi karti hai ,jinme ladke bhi shamil rahte hai.....
"ab samjha sala ki aise chutiya log maal kaise pata lete hai...ye fale, subah-subah ladkiyo ke hath me apna lund thama dete hai jise ladkiya tham bhi leti hai....BC kal se main bhi subah 6 baje uthkar practice me jaunga...ek na ek to zaroor pategi..."
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Hostel ke bahar main taqriban aadha ghanta tak tahalta raha aur phhir wapas hostel aa gaya...hostel
aakar maine Arun aur Saurabh ko bhi apna ye plan bataya ,lekin unhone saaf mana kar diya ki wo 6 baje nahi uthenge,,..
"beta ,yadi subah 6 baje Katrina Kaif apna chut bhi dikha rahi ho na tab bhi main nahi jaunga....9 baje uthna mera janmsiddh adhikar hai,jise koyi nahi chheen sakta "Arun toothpaste ungali se ghiste hue bola"aur lawde ,aaj college se aate time yaad dilana brush lena hai..."
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College me sab kuchh baki din ki tarah normal hee hua siway meri aur Aradhna ki baat-chit ke aalawa...matlab maine usase pahli baar chhutt kaha ki main uske sath sex karna chahta hoon aur usne bhi full josh ke sath haan kaha aur phhir time fix ho gaya....time lunch ke baad ka tha aur venue Avadhesh ka room tha, Avadhesh ek flat lekar college ke hee kuchh ladko ke sath rahta tha...Avadhesh ne mujhe lunch me hee apne flat ka address ,flat ki key ke sath diya aur kaha ki college khatm hone ke tak main apna kaam nipta loon aur ye baat main kisi ko na batau, khaskar ke uske flat partners ko......
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"tujhe Aids vagerah to nahi hai na..."Avadhesh aur uske dosto ke flat me pahuchkar maine Aradhna se puchha....
hum dono flat ke andar aaye aur maine darwaza lock kiya.... "tum ye sab kyun puchh rahe ho..."
"kyunki main condom nahi laya...."
"to tumhe dar hai ki yadi mere jariye tumhe aids hua to tum mar jaoge..."
"dar mujhe marne ka nahi hai janeman...dar mujhe aids hone ke baad ki life ka hai...."apna pant utarte hue maine kaha....
"mere kapde tum utaroge ya main khud utaru..."bistar par lete hue Aradhna boli...
"uski fikar tum bilkul mat karo ,wo to main utar hee lunga, lekin pahle ye bata ki muh me legi kya....bahut maza aayega.....mujhe aur shayad tujhe bhi..."
Update-210 :
"maine pahle hee kaha hai siiirrr..."bistar par uthkar baithte hue Aradhna boli...
waise to main koyi dariyadil insaan nahi hoon lekin ye bolte hue Aradhna ne jaise apna muh banaya use dekhkar maine socha hatao yaar, agli baar kar lenge waise bhi abhi to aadha 8th semester baki hai..... "okay..."bolkar main bhi uske barabar bistar me baitha aur Aradhna ko dekhne laga....
Waise to mere paas logic, tricks ka pitara hai .lekin Google maharaj ki kripa se main thoda bahut eye reading bhi kar leta hoon,jo ki adhiktar sahi nahi hoti ,lekin kabhi-kabhi sach hoti hai....Aradhna is waqt mujhe dekhkar kaanp rahi thi.Maine uski taraf dekha wo thoda sa ghabrayi hui thi , jaise ki ye uska first time ho....
"iske pahle kiya hai..." "na...mm haan...ek baar..."
"great..."thoda ,peechhe hat kar maine puchha"kaha, kab ,kiske sath..." "wo...gaanv me ek ladke ne jabarjasti ki thi khet me...."kanpte hue Aradhna boli... "too bad, uske baad kya hua..."
"uske baad main sirf badnaam hui aur kuchh nahi hua...."
Maine Aradhna ko dekha aur phhir wo soch kya rahi hai ye janne ke liye maine uski aankho me dekha....Aradhna is waqt kisi uljhan me nahi thi ki wo mujhe roke ya nahi ,balki wo to puri tarah taiyar thi aur na hee use kisi bhi tarah ki jhijhak thi...lekin ek ghabrahat uski aankho ko dhak kar baithi hui thi...aur mera ye samajh paana ki Aradhna kya soch rahi hai, bahut mushqil ho gaya,isliye maine thode der ke liye apne dimag ko aaram diya aur wapas Aradhna ke hontho ki taraf badha...is baar main safal hua aur kuchh der ki shanti ke baad Aradhna ke honth bhi harkat karne lage,phhir meri tarah ekdum se tez ho gaye....
Aradhna ke hontho ko apne hontho se masalte hue hee maine use bistar par neeche litaya aur main khud uske upar aa gaya...hum dono ki ye lip kissing ka programme beech-beech me rukta aur phhir thodi der tak ek-dusare ko dekhkar phhir shuru ho jata....
ab main Aradhna ke upar puri tarah se sama gaya aur apne hath se kabhi uski chhatiyo ko masalta to kabhi uski choot ko...main jab bhi Aradhna ki choot ko uske jeans ke upar se sahlata to wo thoda uchhal jati thi aur apne jaangho ko idhar-udhar karke apni choot ko chhipane ki koshish karti....lekin jab maine uske jeans ke hook ko khola to wo shant ho gayi. usne kiss ka reply dena bhi band kar diya aur phhir se apni ajeeb nazaro se mujhe dekhne lagi....
"what..."Aradhna ko is tarah dekhta hua paakar maine puchha... "kuchh nahi..."
"mujhe maloom tha..."bolkar maine Aradhna ki jeans uske ghutno tak neeche khiska di aur uski panty ke
andar hath daal kar uski choot sahlane laga....sath me wo world famous kaam bhi kiya jise log 'ungali karna ' kahte hai
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Aradhna ki jeans ghutno tak neeche khiska kar aur panty ke andar hath daalkar uski chut sahlate hue, uski chut me ungali karte hue maine apne dusare hath se uske top ko upar gardan tak chadha diya aur bra ke upar se hee uske boobs par muh ferne laga....
Aradhna ki choot se pahle sirf deepika mam ki choot me maine ungali ki thi aur us waqt mujhe achanak uski yaad aane lagi thi....Aradhna bhale hee ,deepika ki tarah hot maal na ho lekin Aradhna ki choot,deepika ki choot se kayi guna mast thi, ye maine ungali karte waqt hee jaan liya tha....
Aradhna ke upar se main ek baar phhir utha aur uski jeans jo ki ghutno me atki thi use pairo ke beech se pura nikala...yahi kaam maine uski panty ke sath bhi kiya, aur Aradhna ko peechhe palta kar uski bra bhi utar kar fek diya aur Aradhna ke upar abki baar nanga chadh gaya...ab hum dono hee bina kapde ke thi aur Aradhna ko smooching karte waqt mera lund kabhi uski chut se touch hota to kabhi uski jangho se...kuchh der tak aisa hee karte rahne ke baad Aradhna ne apne hath se apni choot ko failaya aur mujhe ishara kiya....
"thank you..."kahte hue maine apna lund Aradhna ki choot ke muhane ke paas tikaya .
Sach batau to us waqt main bahut khush tha, pata nahi kyun par main tha....mujhe Aradhna se pyar nahi tha lekin phhir bhi main khush tha...bahut khush tha...
"do you really love me Arman....sir.."jab main apna lund,Aradhna ki choot me pelne wala tha ,tabhi usne puchha...
"yeah, ofcourse, i love you..."bolte hue maine apna lund Aradhna ki choot me ghusa diya aur apni aankhe band kar li...uske baad meri speed badhte samay ke sath badhti gayi aur jab maine apni aankhe kholi to dekha ki Aradhna ki bhi aankhe band thi...wo apne dono hatho se mujhe kaskar pakde hue the aur main lagatar apna lund uske choot ke andar-bahar kare jaa raha tha......humare is pure khel ke dauran Aradhna ne apni aankhe band karke rakhi hui thi aur usne apni aankhe tabhi kholi, jab ye khel khatm hua...aur usne ek baar phhir mujhse puchha...
"Do you really love me,Arman....Sir.."
Mujhe is tarah ke dekhne ke uske andaaz ne jaise pahli baar mujhe ye ahsaas karaya ki maine abhi kuchh galat kiya, kuchh aisa jo ki mujhe nahi karna chahiye tha.lekin phhir bhi maine kiya.....yahi sawal jab Aradhna ne mujhse pahli baar puchha tha,tab bhi bahut der nahi hui thi...yadi main khud par control karta aur ruk jaata to shayad wo kuchh nahi hota, jo ki hone wala tha....
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"apni bra,panty pahan aur chal...5 baje ke pahle hume pahuchna hai..."
"lekin abhi to sirf 3 baje hai..."apni panty ko apne jaangho ke beech phhansa kar Aradhna boli... "to kya pure 4:59 me hee is room ko chhodegi....chal jaldi, mujhe kuchh kaam hai..." "ok..chillate kyun ho..."
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Avadhesh ke room se nikalkar maine Aradhna ko hostel ke paas chhoda aur college pahuchkar bike aur room ki keys unke maliko ko transfer karke ,hostel ki taraf badha....
Itne dino baad apni pyaas shant karke main jaise khush ke maare foola nahi sama raha tha...dil kar raha tha ki nachte hue hostel jaun, pure raaste bhar patakhe fodu...lekin filhaal maine aisa kuchh nahi kiya kyunki is waqt main college me tha, jaha meri bahut izzat thi....
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"Mujhko hilane de,do boond tapkane de...
apni choot me mujhe lauda ghusane de... yo..
chud rahi hai na tu, chod raha hoon main....
chud rahi hai na tu...tu..tu..."Esha ko saamne dekhkar main ruka....
Esha ko saamne dekhkar ek pal me to mujhe jaise heart attack hee aa gaya ki ye maine kya kah diya
,lekin phhir yaad aaya ki main to gunguna raha tha, use kaha se sunayi dega...yesss...chal beta
,Arman...role me aaja...
"tummm...shayad meri die hard fan hogi, jo ki mera autograph lene ke liye kal se is raste par khadi hogi...pata nahi log mera ek autograph paane ke liye na jaane kya-kya karte hai...lao ,pen...copy do..." "ho gayi nautanki...ab chale, Chhatrapal sir ne bulaya hai..."
"why ? I'm not interested..." "look..."
"looking..."
"seedhe se chalte ho ya main jaakar Chhatrapal sir ko bol doon ki Arman ko farewell party ki anchoring karne me koyi interest nahi hai..."
"ek minute...pata nahi mere kaan kyun baj rahe hai...mujhe abhi anchoring word sunayi diya...wo kya hai na ki golden jubilee ke function me anchoring na kar paane ka sadma jo mujhe laga tha, uska asar abhi tak hai...khair tum bolo, kya bol rahi thi..."
"hey bhagwan....ab ise kaise samjhaun..."
"kyun khali-fokat me bhagwan ka gala daba rahi ho...ye lo mera number 7415****** . Aur jab bhi koyi problem ho,mujhe call kar lena...abhi main chalta hoon ,kyunki aadhe ghante baad meri America ke liye flight hai...."Esha ke dimag ka bharta banakar main aage badha ,lekin phhir socha ki ek punch aur maara jaye ,isliye main peechhe palatkar tez aawaz me bola"don't worry, main kal autograph de dunga....isliye ab yaha khadi mat raho,ghar jao,tumhare mammi-daddy pareshan ho rahe honge..."
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Esha ko puri tarah dharashayi karke gaana maine jaha chhoda tha ,use wahi se start kiya... "chud rahi hai na tu, chod raha hoon main...."
Update-211 :
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"le batana be ,tune kal Aradhna ko choda kya...."bhari utsukta ke sath Arun ne teesari bar puchha aur maine usi utsukta ke sath teesari baar bhi Arun ko taal diya.
"le batana be, gand mara kya....mujhe bhi dilana..." "tu bose dk ,khana khane dega mujhe...."
"itna jhallata kyun hai, nahi batana to mat bata..."
"jab teen baar mana kar diya to samajh jana chahiye na ki main nahi batana chahta ,ab kya lawda main tere samne apne lund ki katha bachu...baklol..."
"tu gand mara aur tu..."dining table me door baithe ek ladke par baraste hue Arun chillaya"tu lawde roti pass karega ya sari gand me bharega...."
"to aakar le ja na, tevar kisko dikhata hai..."
"chup chap ,roti lekar idhar aa,warna jo haal tere room partner kaliye ka hai,wahi haal tera bhi karunga....."
Arun ke in alfaazo ne us ladke par jabarjast asar kiya aur us ladke ne thik waisa hee kiya jaisa ki Arun ne karne ko kaha tha.....
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"Arman bhai, main hostel chhod raha hoon...socha ki aapse milta chalu...."second year ka ek ladka mere saamne khade hokar bola....
"kyun be, tujhe kya hua...."
"bahut kuchh hua hai Arman bhai, ye sale seniors....jab bhi inka mood hota hai second year walo ko line me khada kar dete hai aur phhir jaanwaro ki tarah marte hai...galti humare batch se kisi ne bhi ki ho, maar sabko padti hai...kisi bhi senior ka mood kharab ho ,to maar padti hai, kisi MC ki MC girlfriend ne use kuchh kah diya to wo BKL aa jata hai apni *** chudane....yadi inko neend nahi aa rahi ho to tab bhi bhugatna hume hee padta hai aur ye sale tab tak hume thokte hai,jab tak inhe neend na aa jaye.BC ullu ki aaulad hai, do din se kutto ne sone nahi diya....ab raat bhar jaagkar ladka class jayega to class me neend aana lazimi hai aur yadi by chance class me jhapki marte hue kisi teacher ne dekh liya to phhir uski ram-kahani alag......abhi kal ki hee baat hai ,aaj midterm tha to main 1 baje tak padhkar so raha tha ki 2 baje wo chutiya mahant aakar mujhe marne laga aur jab maine usase puchha ki kyun maar raha hai
to bolta hai ki aise hee maar raha hoon...BC ye kya tamasha hai, humlog bhi insaan hai ,koyi randi ki chut nahi jo koyi bhi aaye aur chod ke chala jaye.....mere baap ne bahut kaha tha ki math mat le, mat le...lekin nahi lawda humko hee ramanujan banne ka bada shauk tha ,aur aaj wo shauk,bade shaan se utar raha hai..."
Pahle to main uski baat sunkar bahut hansa lekin jab Arun ne ishara karke chup rahne ko kaha to main aise serious hua jaise ki mujhpar kisi ne gun taan ke rakhi ho aur bol raha ho ki"le beta ab haskar dikha...."
"tu kahna kya chahta hai....tu kahi ka turramkhan hai kya...sabko ye jhelna padta hai ,BC kya humne nahi jhela ye sab...beta humara time par to nanga karke chhat par le jate the aur line me khada karake ek- dusare ke lulli hath me pakadwa kar bolte the...lo beta train chalao...."usko baithakar Arun bade shaan se bola, jabki isme shaan wali koyi baat nahi thi....
"baat wo nahi hai ki usne mujhe mara....lekin usne mujhe neend se uthakar mara ,baat ye hai....saaman mera sab pack hai, bas aapko batane aaya tha...."
"na dil pe le ,na muh me le...lund me le aur jaakar apna saaman wapas rakh de..." "fayda kya, aaj raat phhir koyi dusara aayega aur phhir marega..."
"to humlog mar gaye hai kya...ab se koyi bhi aaye to bol dena ki Mr.Arman se mil le..."
"tu kya kahi ka topchand hai jo tera naam le...mera naam lena be...bol dena ki'yadi tum logo ne mujhe chhua bhi to Arun tumlogo ki mother fucking kar dega...."
"Arman bolna be, jyada power hai is naam me....Is jhatue ko to koyi pahchanta bhi nahi..." "yadi tune iska naam liya,to agle din se main tujhe marunga..."
"idhar sun be..."Arun ka hath marod kar maine kaha"A r u n= 4 letter aur A R M A N=5 letter...mere naam me jyada dam hai...tu ja apna saaman wapas wahi rakh de jaha se uthaya tha....baki main dekh lunga...."
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Us ladke ke jane ke baad Arun ne phhir se Aradhna ka topic chheda... "yar Aradhna ki chut dilana, ek khamba dunga...."
" duniya chand par pahuch gayi aur tu abtak choot par atka hua hai....chal jaldi ,college ke liye late ho rahe hai..."
Humlog ekdum time par college pahuche the ya phhir kahe ki thoda pahle hee pahuch gaye the...teacher laapata tha isliye timepass karne ke liye idhar-udhar ki faltu baate kar rahe the...jaise ki'abey us ladki ki gand dekh choda-choda kar chutad ka chabutara bana diya hai...randi hai lawdi..maa- baap ne yaha b.tech karne bheja hai aur ye yaha c.tech kar rahi hai....."
Meri nazar ek dusari ladki ki gand par ja tiki aur mere muh se anmol vachan nikalne hee wale the ki darwaje par dastak hui aur kisi ne mera naam pukara.....main us samay full josh me tha isliye bina darwaje ki taraf dekhe main ye bol gaya ki'baad me aana time nahi hai' lekin phhir mujhe laga ki ye aawaz kisi ladki ki hai aur phhir mere sixth sense ne mujhe us aawaz ki pahchan Esha ke roop me karati,tab meri fati aur main dheere-dheere, slow motion me apna pyara sa mukhda darwaje ki taraf kiya aur khada hokar Arun par chillaya...
"bola na be tujhe ki baad me ye sab batana ,abhi mere paas time nahi hai...Esha tum ek min. ruko,main abhi aaya...."
(ye pakka aaj mujhe i love you bolegi, i know she loves me, lekin kahne me sharmati hai...how sweet )
Update-212 :
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Jab ek kasai ke bakre ko achchh khana milne lagta hai to wo bakra bahut khush hota hai aur sochta hai ki uska malik kitna achchha hai ,jabki kahani iske thik ulat hoti hai jiska andaaza us bakre ko thode dino baad lagta hai,jab uske katne ki bari aati hai....
College ke un antim dino me mera bhi haal kuchh usi bakre ki tarah tha jise bharpur khana mil raha tha.mere jaise laundo ki sabse badi demand hoti hai choot...BC raat yahi sochate-sochate gujar dete hai ki kahi se chodne ko mil jaye .lekin meri demand thi room aur meri raat ye sochate-sochate gujarti thi ki BC ab kiska room jugad kiya jaye taki Aradhna ko chod saku.....khair kahani me aate hai....
"man to mera yahi karne ka kar raha hai, lekin problem ye hai ki mere paas chaku nahi hai,warna khoon to kab ka ho chuka hota..."
"oye chaku maar ke bezzati karegi meri, pura ka pura talwar ghusadna...fala koyi izzat hee nahi rakhi...khair,wo sab chhod aur topic me aa, "
"farewell function me anchoring karne ke liye jo-jo interested hai,use Chhatrapal sir ne bulaya hai...." "to maine kab kaha ki main interested hoon...bhad me jaye Chhatrapal aur bhad me ja tu,uuuuuuu.....Tushar Kapoor "
"Chhatrapal sir ne kaha hai ki jinhone Golden jubilee me anchoring ki thi ,unme se do group ko select
karna hai...aur kasam se mujhe tum par itna gussa aa raha hai ki bata nahi sakti....isliye ab sari jimmedari tumhari hai , jao aur kuchh bhi karke humari team ka selection karwao....warna..."
"kyun dil pe le rahi hai itna aur anchoring nahi karegi to mar nahi jayegi...isliye tu apni class me ja aur
main apni class me jata hoon...khamkha mera keemati waqt barbaad kar diya..."waha se apni class ki taraf chalte hue maine kaha....
"yadi tumne aisa kiya to main tumse baat nahi karungi..."
"to mat kar , kaunsa tu mujhe daru kharid ke deti hai..."apna co-ordinates zara sa bhi change kiye bina main class ki taraf badhta raha.....
"Arman, i love you..."
"ye kya tha BC ...".dynamic situation se direct static situation me aate hue maine khud se puchha....Esha ke hontho se nikle ye char shabd'Arman ,i love you' mujh par hydrogen bomb ki tarah fate aur mere andar trahi-trahi mach gayi....achanak se mere body me blood circulation itna badh gaya ki pura sharir laal ho gaya aur sath me temperature jo badha wo alag....mujhe aisa lagne laga jaise main dheere-dheere coma me ja raha hoon.mere sochane samajhne ki sari kshamta ek pal me jawab de gayi,kuchh samajh me hee nahi aa raha tha ki kidhar dekhu ,kidhar na dekhu...peechhe mudu ya na mudu...Esha se kuchh bolu ya aise hee murti ki tarah khade hokar uska intezaar karu....halat to ye thi ki lawda apna naam bhi lete hue jeebh ladkhada rahi thi...halat to ye thi ki main beech-beech me saans lena bhi bhool ja raha tha aur jab eka-ek pel ke saans leta to aisi aawaz aati jaise main asthma ka marij hoon aur khushi to puchho mat...dil kar raha tha ki hod ko bahar nikal kar khoob pelu aur usase bolu ki "bol lawde ,aur assignment dene ke liye teachers ko bolega...teri maa ka...."
I,L,O,V,E,Y,O,U alphabet se bane jin shabdo ko sunne ke liye maine chaar saal bita diye the aur jin shabdo ko sunne ki mujhe ab ummid tak nahi thi ,aaj wo shabd mere kaan ke raaste seedhe dil tak pahuch gaye the, jiske karan meri heartbeat itni jyada tez ho gayi ki mujhe lagne laga ki ab mera heart fail ho jayega, ab mara.....lekin jab agle 5 minute tak main zinda raha to maine khud ke system ko wapas on kiya,jo ki Esha ke karan kuchh der pahle shut down ho gaya tha.....
mujhe uswaqt kuchh bhi samajh nahi aa raha tha ki kya bolu,kya puchhu ,kya karu,kya sochu aur aap sabhi sajjan purush aur mahila kah sakte ho ki at last main bhi sharmane laga.....
"mujhe kuchh samajh nahi aa raha ki kya jawab du..."dil se haste-muskurate aur chehre se gambhir hote hue main bola....
"isme kahna kya hai,jo sach hai wo kah do..."
"Sach...."(BC aaj maloom chala ki sach meetha bhi hota hai,warna log to sach ko kadwa bol-bol kar sach ki maa-bahan karte hai...")
"tumhe dekhkar nahi lagta ki tum mujhse pyar karte ho..."ab Esha serious hote hue boli...
"maa kasam ,bahut pyar karta hoon...yakin na ho....amm yakin na ho to......"(koyi dialogue kyun nahi sujh raha )
"yakin dilane ki jaroorat nahi,mujhe pata hai...."
"ok...ab chal,Chhatrapal ke paas chalte hai...anchoring to hum dono hee karenge,phhir chahe mujhe baki group walo ka khoon hee kyun na karna pade...let's go baby "
.
raaste bhar main Esha ke saamne kuchh bhi ant-shant bakta raha aur hum dono haste-khilkhilate hue Auditorium pahuche,jaha Chhatrapal besabri se humara intezaar nahi kar raha tha
"tum dono..."hume dekhte hee chhatrapal bola... "tu idharich ruk,apun abhich aaya..."
.
"good morning sir, "(teri *** ki chut) "good morning"
"sir,maine suna ki farewell me anchoring ke liye aap candidate dhoondh rahe hai..."
"galat suna hai...jinhone golden jubilee me perform kiya tha unme se best four ko maine select kar liya hai...."
"lekin us time to main nahi tha aur best main hoon, yakin na ho to audition karwa lo abhi..." "really ,tumhe lagta hai ki mujhe iski jaroorat hai....mujhe aur bhi bahut se kam hai..."
"kya sir, ek chance to do..."
"sir ji,chance to aapne khud miss kiya tha..."
"phhir bhi ek baar....."aakhiri baar puchhate hue maine kaha...
"ok...abhi audition le lete hai...tum agle 5 minute me apna dimag dauda kar aisi 5 line stage me bolo jise sunkar main andar se hil jaun..."
"5 line ? " "haan..."
"don't worry sir, 5 se kam me hee hila dunga...."bolkar main stage ki taraf badha....
maine mic hath me liya aur upar ki taraf dekhkar yaad karne laga ki ab kya bolu,jisase ki in sabki gand fat jaye...5 minute baad main bola...
"Mark Twain ji ne ek baar kaha tha ki ek insaan ki zindagi me sirf do din sabse jyada mahatvapurn hote hai, pahla din wo jab aap paida hote hai aur dusara din wo jab aap ye jaan jate hai ki aap paida kyun hue aur aaj meri zindagi ka wahi dusara mahatvapurn din hai, maine jaan liya ki main paida kyun hua...main anchoring karne ke liye sirf aur sirf anchoring karne ke liye paida hua hoon...."saaf jhooth bolte hue maine kaha....
waha mauzood sabhi students ko ,waha mauzood Chhatrapal tak ko bhi maloom tha ki main saaf jhooth bol raha hoon ,lekin phhir bhi un sabne taaliya bajayi....kyunki hum sab hamesha achchha sunna chahte hai ,phhir chahe wo sach ho ya jhooth ,iski parvaah kisko hai aur waise bhi english me ek kahawat hai ki 'good mind ,good find' matlab ki jo khud achchha hai ,uske liye sabkuch achchha hai....
"excellent...kal main tumko class me bata dunga ki ,maine kya decide kiya hai...ab tum jao..."Chhatrapal ne kaha
Update-213 :
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Overdose kisi bhi chiz ka thik nahi hota aur khushi ka overdose to bilkul bhi nahi , ya phhir Ramchandra Shukla ke shabdo me kahe to ati kisi bhi chiz ki hanikarak hoti hai.
"kya baat hai beta ,aaj itni bhayankar party de raha hai...itna kharcha to tune apne birthday me bhi nahi kiya tha...."Saurabh ne puchha....
"aaj main bahut khush hoon,itna khush ki dil kar raha Arun ko aaj lund chusa hee doon...kabse mere lund ki farmaish kar raha hai...."
"achchha beta to tere paas lund bhi hai...."daru ka glass hath me lekar Arun dagmagate hue khada hua... "ek saal pahle bathroom me jo chusaya tha bhool gaya kya aur tu ja kidhar raha hai..."
"main moot ke aata hoon...."
.
"tujhe kya lagta hai,wapas aayega ye bathroom se ,ya main iske peechhe jaun..."ghadi me time dekhte hue Saurabh bola..
"tu kyun itni parvaah kar raha hai be gay aur tu itni der se ghadi me kyun dekh raha hai,jabki teri ghadi to ek saal se band hai...."
"wo to main feeling le raha hoon..."
.
Aaj humari daru party me hamesha ki tarah Rajshri Pandey bhi shamil hua tha, lekin ek member naya tha.uska naam Umesh tha aur ye wahi ladka tha,jo subah seniors ke mauke-bemauke ragging ki vajah se pareshan hokar hostel chhodne ki baat kar raha tha....
"Arman bhai, ye behan ka lawda kurre apne aapko Newton,Einstein ki aaulad samajhta hai...jab bhi kuchh puchho to bol deta hai ki'aap physics ke khilaf nahi ja sakte aur phhir bhi puchho to bolta hai ki 'ab aap mere khilaf nahi ja sakte...isliye aap class se dafa ho jayiye' BC ne mujhe first year me bahut choda hai...iski maa ka,chalo isko maar ke aate hai..."
"na beta na, aisi galti kabhi na kariyo,...warna Aggregate ke liye tarsa denge ye log aur ab to college bhi autonomous hone wala hai, aisi gand marenge teri ki zindagi bhar pichhwada dard karega..."
"are Aggregate hee to bigad diye BC ne...lab me bhi number kata, Test me bhi choda....upar se MC ka subject bhi pura theory wala tha aur theory dekh kar mujhe to pahle hee cancer ki beemari ho jati hai..." "abey ab to nahi padhata na wo, phhir kahe itni tension le raha hai...do saal to jhel hee liye tune ab do saal aur jhel le...aur jis din hath me certificate aa jaye us din Kurre ka collar pakad kar do tamacha marna aur bolna ki'kyun be lawde ,bahut uchak raha tha first year me...beta mujhe zindagi bhar bahar kisi bhi
desh me,kisi bhi shahar me,kisi bhi gali me mat dikhna warna jaha dikhega wahi chodunga aur aaj ke baad yadi tu physics ke khilaf gaya to teri *** chod dunga'....aisich bolne ka usko final year complete hone ke baad...main to yahi karunga aur waise bhi theory subject kya hai yar...kuchh bhi likho ,kuchh bhi number pao...."
"kaise kuchh bhi likho ,kuchh bhi number pao...maine to Mukesh ji ka 'Mere Mehboob kayamat hogi' wala gana pichhale saal ye sochkar chipkaya tha ki BC Kurre khush ho jayega lekin lawde ne us answer ko to kata hee ,sath me baki answer ko bhi ,jo ki sahi the...unko kaat diya..."
"ab chutiya jaise harqat karoge to aisa hee hoga....theory subject me kya rakha hai, bas jis unit ka question hai uske 4-5 familier words yaad kar lo aur ek-do defination aur phhir jakar likh maro...Pandey jakar bathroom me dekh to Arun kaha gaya..."
Pandey ji uthe aur bina ek pal ganwaye bathroom ki taraf chal diye aur idhar maine pravachan jaari rakha..
"ab itni mehnat kaun kare Arman bhai..."
"waah beta,ye to wahi baat ho gayi ki'swarg to sabhi chahte hai,lekin marna koyi nahi chahta',jhat ke baal kuchh na likhne se achchha kuchh likhna hee sahi hai aur jab kuchh likh hee rahe ho to kuchh achchha hee likh do..."
"thik hai phhir,kal wala test bhi maha-theory subject ka hai,usi par try karta hoon...lekin aapko lagta hai ki ye kaam karega..."
"saat semester tujhe kya lagta hai maine padhkar pass kiye hai ,sab aise hee langar me nikal gaye..don't worry ye kaam karega,bahut badhiya karega....dekho beta, aisa hai ki teacher tumko number dena chahta hai,ye maankar chalo.. lekin badle me teacher ko tum khali copy dete ho ya badhiya writing se likhi hui copy,ye tumpar depend karta hai...chal ab pair chhu mere ,sale free ki tips le raha "bolkar maine ek peg aur mara....
.
"jyada gyan mat chod aur chal us lawde Mahant ko markar aate hai, sale ne bathroom me dhakka de diya mujhe..."room ke andar Pandey ji ke kandhe ke sahare aate hue Arun bola...
"Mahant ye to wahi hai,jiski main subah baat kar raha tha..."Arun ke muh se Mahant ka naam sunte hee Umesh fatak se bola...
"ye BC hai kaun,jo itna udd raha hai...iski maa ka, chalo be, isko thik karke aate hai....Pandey tu Arun ko lekar peechhe-peechhe aa ,main aur Saurabh hero ki tarah aage jayenge...mera goggle nikalo be..." Rajshri Pandey ne Arun ko sambhala aur Saurabh ne teen hockey stick, jo ki humne dusaro ke room se churaya tha...use bahar nikala...
"teen kisliye...Pandey ko mat dena...warna maine senior ko junior ke hatho pelwa diya...ye sochkar hostel ke ladke mere khilaf ho sakte hai..."
"extra hockey stick Pandey ji ke liye nahi balki ,Umesh ke liye hai...Umesh towel lapet le muh me aur waha ragging ki baat bilkul mat karna...kuchh bolna nahi sirf marna..."
Umesh ne haan me apna sar hilaya aur humlog Mahant ke room me pahuche...uske room ka darwaja khula hua tha aur light band karke wo sab kharrate bhar rahe the....maine light on ki aur Mahant ka bed kaun sa hai uski probability lagakar chadar taan ke so rahe ek ladke ke pair me hocky stick se mara aur bola...
"BCO ,maa-baap ne yaha padhayi karne bheja hai ya sone ke liye... tu yaha so raha hai,
waha tera baap ro raha hai...uth "
"kaun hai be MC,..."dard aur gusse ke bhayankar combo ke sath chadar taankar so raha wo ladka utha...lekin wo ladka Mahant nahi tha,balki uska room partner aur Aradhna ka door ka bhai Kaliya tha.... "sorry yar, pata nahi mera andaza kaise galat ho gaya...Probability to mere se jyada achchhi pure college me kisi se nahi banti thi...koyi baat nahi sorry..."
"ye kya chutiyapa laga rakha hai BC..."apne jangh sahlate hue ,kaliya mujhepar cheekha...
"aankh dikhata hai madarjaat..."dusara war maine uske chhati me kiya aur Kaliya wahi flat ho gaya...tab tak uske room ke baki ke do ladke bhi jaag chuke the...jisme se ek Mahant tha aur dusara pata nahi kaun chutiya tha....
"Saurabh ,is kallu ko check kar ki zinda hai ya mar gaya...." "zinda hai aur ro raha hai..."
"koyi baat nahi...wapas mission me aao..."bolkar main Mahant ke paas gaya.."kya hai bhai...bahut hawa me udd raha aajkal,zameen me laun kya...."
"baat kya kar raha hai,maar bahinchod ko..."kahte hue Saurabh ne Mahant ke seene me ek laat jama diya...
Mahant abhi uthkar baitha hee tha aur Saurabh ke yun laat marne se BC bed ke dusari ore ulat gaya....iske baad main koyi dialogue soch raha tha ki towel lapete Umesh peechhe se saamne aaya aur bed ke dusari taraf ,jaha Mahant gira pada tha...uspar danadan hocky stick barsane laga...lawda hume to marne ka mauka hee nahi mila....
"us lawde ko rok, warna kahi Mahant upar ki ticket na kata le..."Saurabh ko dekhkar main chillaya. Saurabh ne Umesh ko Mahant se door kiya aur room ke bahar jaane ke liye kaha...
"kyun be,ab bol Arun ko dhakka kyun diya tha...jyada dam aa gaya hai ya bhool gaya hai ki main kaun hoon..."
Zameen par pada Mahant meri taraf dekhkar lambi-lambi saanse bhar raha tha lekin kuchh bol nahi pa raha tha....
"kya hua be, marne wala hai kya..."
"kaha dhakka diya maine..."khaste hue Mahant thodi der baad bola"aaj subah se beemar hoon, din bhar se room se nikla bhi nahi hoon..."
"haaaiiinnn....Phhir Arun ko dhakka kisne diya..."
"ek minute...."ladkhadati jubaan me peechhe se Arun bola"mujhe lagta hai mujhe Mahant ne dhakka nahi diya tha...wo koyi dusara ladka tha shayad,lekin yaad nahi kaun tha...."
"abey akhand chutiye...to phhir faltu me kyun pelwa diya isko...ab chalo lawda yaha se....Saurabh tu mere sath chal aur tu , Pandey Arun ko girakar Mahant ko bistar par wapas lita de.., good night guys,sweet dream...halanki wo sweet dream ab tumhe aane nahi wali..."
.
Mahant ke room se nikalkar main wapas room me aaya, ek to waise hee daru ka kuchh khas nasha nahi tha upar se jo tha,wo Arun ke is chutiyape ne bhaga diya tha aur tab mujhe yaad aaya ki Esha mujhse pat chuki hai aur mujhe ab ek fadu lover banna hai...lekin kaise ye mujhe nahi pata tha...bole to main is mamle me bilkul virgin tha....waise maine bahut suna tha ki lover boy kya-kya karte hai...jaise ki subah,dopahar,shaam,raat ko good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good night bolna...din bhar mobile par chipke rahna aur janu-janu kahkar ek-dusare ko maha-bore karna aur jab phhir bhi dil na bhare to mobile ko kiss karna....ab ye sab to mujhse hone se raha ,isliye maine Google Maharaj ki help lene ka socha aur mobile ka browser kholkar Google maharaj ke darbaar me gaya aur type kiya'How to be A Good Lover '
Update-206
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Us samay mere paas do raaste the lekin manzil ek bhi nahi...na jaane kaise raaste the,jo kahi tak nahi gaye...balki mujhe aur bhi peechhe dhakel diya...pahla raasta Aradhna ke roop me tha, jaha main ek hawasi ki tarah jaana chahta tha aur dusara raasta Esha ke roop me tha ,jaha main humraah, humsafar,humnuma,helium,hydrogen....whatever you can call ki tarah jana chahta tha...par galti mujhse tab hui jab maine kisi ek ko chunne ke bajaay dono ko chuna...Mere dost hamesha mujhe rokte the, wo kahte the ki naari,narak ka dwar hoti hai...lekin mera jawaab hota ki yadi naari narak me jaane se milne wali ho to phhir swarg me bhajiya talne kaun jayega....mere dost hamesha kahte ki do kashti me pair rakhkar kabhi samundar paar nahi kiya ja sakta aur tab mera jawaab hota ki yadi mujhe ek hee kashti me pair rakhkar samundar paar karna hota to phhir main do kashti laata hee kyun....
Mujhe samjhane ke mere dosto ke kamjor tark aur mujhe aisa karne se rokne ke unke kamjor vitark ne mujhe in dono raasto me laat maar kar bheja...jabki mere dosto ko mere ye dono kadam hee pasand nahi the....upar se mujhme confidence itna jyada tha ki main us samay yahi socha karta tha ki duniya ki koyi bhi situation..kaisi bhi condition ho, main use jhel sakta hoon aur apne 1400 gm ke brain ka istemaal karke use apne anuroop badal bhi sakta hoon...yahi vajah thi ki mera sixth sense bhi mujhe us waqt dhokha de raha tha,jab main apni barbaadi ki raah par khushi se aise badh raha tha jaise wo barbaadi na hokar kamyabi ho....
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Canteen me hum sab pahuche aur har roz ki tarah jise jo pet me bharna tha ,usne order de diya...order to maine bhi diya tha,lekin meri nigaah apne lunch ke sath-sath waha canteen me baithi hui ladkiyo par bhi thi...
"na Esha na Aradhna...pata nahi ye dono kaha chali gayi...Esha ka to phhir bhi samajh aata hai, lekin ye Aradhna kaha marwa rahi hai..."sochate hue maine sur aur taal ko mix karke ek dhun ke sath kaha"Aradhna tu aaja...apne ek-ek kilo ke dono doodh dikha ja...
chut teri bahut pyari, apni gand tu Arun ko chata ja..."
"Aradhnaaaaaaaa....."mere dwara Arun apni tareef sunkar khisiyate hue jor se cheekha....jiske baad pure canteen me Aradhna ka naam gunj utha....
"bakchod hai kya be, aise kyun uska naam chilla raha hai...."maine fauran Arun ka muh band kiya aur use aankhe dikhayi...jiske baad Saurabh ne bhi Aradhna ka naam liya aur canteen me ek baar phhir Aradhna ka naam gunjane laga....
"chillao beta chillao...khud ka to khada hota nahi ,isiliye dusare ki tarakki dekhi nahi jaati..."
"roj raat ko main teri tarakki dekhta hoon...jab tu ek hath se mobile pakad kar us Aradhna lawdi se baat karte hue bathroom me mutth marte rahta hai...kya kamaal ki tarakki ki hai..."
"ha to maine kam se kam itna to kiya hai, tune kya ukhaad liya jo aise bol raha hai...."
"udhar dekh, teri maal aa gayi...ja chipak jaa usase..."aankho se ek taraf ishara karte hue abki baar Sulabh ne kaha....
"sala ,kya jamana aa gaya hai...kaise-kaise log mujhe chamkane lage hai....tum logo ko line par laana hee hoga..."Sulabh ko bolte hue maine us taraf dekha,jis taraf Sulabh ne aankho se ishara kiya tha....
"ye to Esha ,tum sab yaha se niklo aur mera bill bhi bhar dena,,,mere paas dus hazar ka note hai..."kahte hue maine apne dono pair ko bade aaram se bahar nikala aur aise role me chalne laga ,jaise mujhe kuchh hua hee na ho....halaanki is tarah se normal chalne par mujhe gand-faad dard bhi ho raha tha lekin wo sab dard Esha ko dekhkar hee jaha se aaya tha ,wahi ghus bhi ja raha tha....
"pahle to sirf suna tha, aaj to yakin ho gaya ki wakayi pyar me taqaat hoti hai...how boring "
.
"meow..."Esha jis table par baithi,usi ke paas khade hokar maine kaha.
"kitni baar kaha hai tumse..."gusse se Esha ne us jagah mujhe mara,jaha mujhe sabse adhik aur sabse gahra zakhm tha....
dil to kiya ki abhich Esha ko is dard ke equal dard doon lekin phhir socha ki rahne do, by mistake ho gaya hai....isliye is baar jaane do.lekin jo dard utha tha use to mujhe sahna hee tha ,wo bhi bina halak se ek aawaz nikale...isliye maine dard ka andar hee andar gala ghotate hue apni ek aankh band ki aur body ko tight kiya....
"kya hua,..ek aankh band kyun kar li bille..."
"raat bhar padhayi karke aaya hoon,isliye neend aa rahi hai...."Sambhalkar ek chair par baithte hue maine usase puchha"Divya se abhi tak baat-chit chalu nahi hui kya...jo ab bhi kisi billi ki tarah akele idhar se udhar fudakti rahti hai..."
"uska naam mat lo, wo to ek no. Ki kameeni hai...mera bas chale to uske saare baal noch loon..."
"kaha ke baal nochegi "bolte hue meri jubaan slip ho gayi lekin Esha kuch samjhe uske pahle hee ek taraf ishara karte hue main hadbadahat me bola"udhar dekh use janti hai kya..."
"nahi..."
"aur use..."dusari taraf ishara karte maine phhir kaha... "nahi..."
"tab to us moti ko yakinan jaanti hogi..." "bilkul nahi "
"ok,no problem....haan to tu kya bol rahi thi...ki tera dil karta hai ki.........."
"mera dil karta hai ki main uske sar ke saare baal noch loon...wo ek no. Ki kameeni hai...ab dekho na Arman, hum dono ke beech ladayi hai use ye baat apne ghar me batane ki kya jaroorat thi...lekin nahi, usne sab kuchh apne gharwalo ko bata diya..yaha tak ke Gautam ko bhi..."
"Gautam...."uska naam jab beech me Esha ne liya to mera dil kiya ki mujhe jitni galiya aati hai ,sab use de dalu...lekin main ek sharif student tha, isliye maine aise kuchh bhi na karke bade shant dhang se Esha se puchha..."Gautam...kaha hai mera bhai aajkal..."(Gautam sale ,teri *** ki chut, teri *** ka bhosda...mar ja MC,jaha kahi bhi ho...)
"ok Arman,ab main chalti hoon...warna yadi Divya ne tumhe mere sath dekh liya to ghar me phhir se bata degi...."itna bolkar Esha waha se chalte bani...
"phhir se KAPD...."
Esha ke jaane ke baad main peechhe muda ,ye sochkar ki dosto ke sath thodi si gand-masti ho jaye,lekin fale wo bhi waha se nadaarad the...main Esha ke sath itna magan tha ki mere dost mere peechhe se kab nikal gaye,mujhe iska ahsaas tak nahi hua....
lekin iska kuchh khas farak mujhpar nahi pada ,kyunki thodi hee der baad ek-ek kilo ke batle apne seene me rakhne wali Aradhna ne canteen me apni saheliyo ke sath entry mari aur Aradhna ko dekhte hee mera pant tight ho gaya....."hellooooo siiiirrrr...."mujhe dekhkar aankh marte hue Aradhna boli... "helllooooo maaammm..."maine bhi barabar aankh marte hue jawab diya...
ab jab do opposite sex wale human being ke beech is tarah ka hi,hello ho to ummide kuchh jyada hee badh jati hai...lekin meri un ummidon ko chaknachur karte hue Aradhna ki saheliya ,Aradhna ke sath usi table par baith gayi,jaha main baitha tha...jabki mera andaaza tha ki Aradhna mere sath baithegi aur uski baki gang hum dono se kahi door jaakar apna aasan dekhengi...lekin aisa kuchh bhi nahi hua aur Aradhna ke sath-sath uski baki saheliyo ne bhi chair se apni gand tikayi...
Maine Aradhna ko isharo hee isharo me bahut kaha ki wo apni in fuljhadiyo ko door bhej de,lekin Aradhna ko to kuchh alag hee khujali thi....wo har baar bade pyar se mujhe nakaar deti aur mand-mand muskurati....shuru me to sab kuchh under control raha lekin jaise-jaise canteen me lagi badi si ghadi ke bade se kaante aage badhi mujhe Aradhna ki saheliyo ko bardasht karna mushkil ho gaya....faliyo ne mujhe itna bore kiya...itna pakaya ki unke sath baithne se achchha main Chhatrapal ki chutiya class ek din me do baar attend kar loon,wo bhi pure dil se.......
"sir aapke paas easy language me physics-2 ke notes hai kya....mujhe physics ke funde kuchh samajh nahi aa rahe..."Aradhna ke left side me baithi ek dubali-patli si ladki ne puchha....
"second sem. Ke notes aur mere paas ,mere paas to 8th sem ke bhi notes nahi hai.. Waise Physics ke rules ko chat kar ja bilkul,thik usi tarah jis tarah tu is chatni ko chaat rahi hai aur ek baat ka dhyan rakha 'aap physics ke khilaf nahi ja sakte' ,warna kurre ,kurkure ki tarah tod-marod dega..."
"sir, Ed bahut hard lagta hai...kya aapka wo subject clear hai..."abki baar Aradhna ke right side me baithi moti bhains ne mujhse puchha....
"nahi...aise hee 8th sem. Me pahuch "apni rolling eye se us moti bhains par kahar barsate hue maine Aradhna se kaha "oye Aradhna, tere us door ke bhai ne lunch me milne ke liye kaha tha,,,ja mil le usase..."
"kyun...""ab ye main kaise batau..."
"thik hai...tum teeno yahi raho, main abhi aati hoon..."bolkar Aradhna waha se uthi aur canteen ke
bahar chal di....
Aradhna ke jaane ke thodi der baad main apni jagah se utha hee tha ki Us moti bhains ne mujhe wapas baithne ke liye kah diya...
"baithiye na sir..."
"dar-asal main bahut sharmila ladka hoon aur mujhe ladkiyo ke beech bahut sharam aati hai..."bolkar main waha se langdate hue bahar aaya ki tabhi Aradhna mujhe Canteen ke bahar khadi mil gayi... "mujhe pata tha, ye aapka hee khurapati idea tha,mujhe meri saheliyo se door karne ka..."
"wo sab chhod aur pahle ye bata ki muh me legi kya...."
Update-207 :
.
Mera itna kahna hee tha ki Aradhna ne ghoor kar mujhe aise dekha jaise maine uske muh me lund dene ki baat kahi hoon...waise mera matlab to wahi tha
"lagta hai, tu pure vegetarian hai...isiliye itna ghoor rahi hai...chal chhod..."bolte hue main uske bagal me khada ho gaya...
"accident kaise hua tha aapka siirrr..."
"aise aawaz nikal kar puchhegi to phhir se ek naya accident ho jayega..." "batao na..."
"hmm...ek minute ruk,mujhe remind karne de...haan ,yaad aa gaya...."Aradhna ke aur paas khisakte hue main bola"us samay main bike par tha aur meri bike speed 80 km/h ke uniform velocity se ja rahi thi aur accident hone ki probability zero thi...us waqt aage ek scorpio aur saamne ek truck tha aur dono ke beech parabolic curve banate hue maine bike ki speed ko resist kiya aur phhir dhoom-dhadaka...." "sunne me to bahut maza aa raha hai..."
Mere dosto aur warden ke baad Aradhna is duniya ki aisi teesari shaks thi ,jise maine mere accident ke baare me sach bataya tha...kyunki mujhe inke saamne apni izzat ki koyi parvaah nahi thi....
"to ab kaisi hai tabiyat..."mera hath pakadte hue Aradhna ne puchha.. "ekdum chaka chak..."Aradhna ki is harqat ko dekhte hue maine kaha.... "to phhir room chale..."
"room...chal hat.."Aradhna ka hath chhodte hue maine kaha"abhi bhi meri raat bistar par bina karwat badle guzarti hai aur tu kah rahi hai ki main teri karwat badal-badal kar loon...ashleel kahi ki" "ok...then , ab kya baat kare,..."
"aaja padhayi ki baat karte hai...ye bata tune Haweli padhi hai..." "nahi, ye kya hai..."
"chal chhod ye bata Haweli-2 padhi hai..." "nahi...ye hai kya.."
"ye bhi chhod aur ab ye bata Dead Never lie padhi hai..." "nahi..."
"doob mar phhir "mayoos hote hue maine kaha , ki tabhi mujhe Avadhesh Gilhare Canteen ki taraf jata hua dikhayi diya, jise maine Esha aur Divya ke upar nigrani rakhne ke liye kaha tha....
"Avadhesh ruk to yar..."
"Arman..."mera naam lete hue wo meri taraf aakar bola"kaisa hai yar ab, Sulabh ne bataya tha tere accident ke baare me...."
"Aradhna tu yahi ruk, main isase baat karke aata hoon..." "kaun si baat..."
"ssshhh ,kisi ko batana mat main ek undercover agent hoon aur ye mera assistant hai...aata hoon na ,do minute rook idhar hee..."bolte hue main Avadhesh ke sath ,jaha Aradhna khadi thi,waha se thodi door aaya....
"chal bata kya khabar laya hai..."
"kuchh bhi interesting news nahi hai yar, tu faltu me un dono faltu ladkiyo ke peechhe apni jaan de raha hai...matlab dono abhi tak ek-dusare se baat nahi karti..."
"matlab Line straight hai, kahi koyi ghumavdaar jaisa chiz nahi hai..." "matlab..."humse thodi door me khadi Aradhna ko dekhkar Avadhesh ne puchha...
"matlab tu nahi samjhega...kuchh naya hoga to batana aur udhar dekhna band kar,meri maal hai wo..." "abey main galat nazar se nahi dekh raha hoon use..."
"to phhir kya tu use upar se neeche tak aise aankhe gada-gada kar bahan ki nazar se dekh raha hai fale incest lover...."
"kya yar ,tu bhi.....kuchh bhi bol deta hai. Abey main use isliye aise dekh raha tha kyunki main kuchh confirm kar raha tha..."
"aur kya main puchh sakta hoon ki tu kya confirm kar raha tha..."
"yahi ki ye wahi ladki hai ya nahi,jiska raasta kuchh din pahle Yashwant ne roka tha...tujhe nahi maloom kya..."
"nahi..."Esha aur Divya ka pura matter bhoolkar maine puchha...
"bhai,bawal hone wala tha us din...wo apna detainer hai na Yashwant, us din college ke gate ke paas ise aur iski saheliyo ko rok liya tha..."
"phhir kya hua..."matter ke andar ghuste hue maine kaha...
"Yashwant aur uske dosto ko to janta hee hai, BC...dinbhar college ke gate ke bahar ladkiyo par comment thokte rahte hai...us din bhi kuchh yahi hua.College ke baad main city bus me baitha tha ki ye
ladki ,jise tu apni maal kah raha hai, wo waha se guzari to Yashwant ne apni aadat ke mafiq kuchh ulta- seedha bol diya, lekin uske baad teri isi maal ne Yashwant ko kuchh bura-bhala kah diya...phhir to lawda
,sabki gand hee fat gayi...sabko lagne laga tha ki kuchh bawal hoga, lekin maloom nahi yashwant ko achanak kya hua,jo wo ekdum se thanda pad gaya...."
"aur kuchh bhi hai batane ko ya bas baat khatm..."Avadhesh ke rukne ke baad maine puchha.... "bas itna hee matter tha..."
"chal thik hai bye..."bolte hue main Aradhna ke paas pahucha..."Yash ke sath tera kya lafda hua tha..." "kaun yash..."mere dwara ekdum achanak se aise bolne ke karan Aradhna chauk gayi...
"are yar,wahi...jisne tujhe kuchh din pahle gate ke bahar roka tha..."
"achchha...wo...wo ,are lafda kuchh nahi hai,bas wo mujhe dhamka raha tha ki wo ye kar dega, wo kar dega....lekin jab main kaha ki Arman is my boyfriend...jaisa ki tumne kaha tha ki yadi koyi pareshan kare to ye kah dena...maine kaha, uske baad to usne kuchh nahi kaha...siway kuchh apshabd tumhe kahne ke aalawa..."
"thank you very much...ab aap yaha se apni class ke liye prasthan kijiye...aapki claas shuru ho chuki hogi..."
"ok bye, shaam ko milte hai..."hawa me bye ka symbol banakar apne hath hilate hue Aradhna waha se chalti bani aur main jitna tez chal sakta tha, utni tezi se apne classroom ki taraf badha....
"oye Arun, Saurabh aur baki hostelers...tum logo ko kya aisa nahi lagta ki hum log kuchh jyada hee sharifi ki zindagi jee rahe hai....matlab no maar-dhad,no dhoom-dhadaka...."
"haan ,mujhe to aisa hee lagta hai..."ek ne kaha....
abhi recess ka time chal raha tha aur class ke sare ladke-ladkiya meri aadat se wakif the ,isliye main bindaas bol raha tha....
"to chalo, aaj life ko kuchh interesting banate hai...."
"abey seedhe-seedhe bol kisko thokna hai...aisi bakloli mat kar..."Apni jagah par baithe-baithe hee Arun bola...
"abey pahle class se niklo to sahi..."
.
class me total 12 ladke hostel wale the .un sabko lekar main aage badha ki tabhi kisi ne peechhe se puchha...
"marne kisko ja rahe hai...kahi hum kam na pad jaye,tu kahe to saamne wali class se 10-12 ko aur sath le loon..."
"le le...apna kya jata hai...lekin beta khayal rakhiyo, kisi ko pelna nahi hai,bas hool dene ja rahe hai...." "kaun hai wo BKL..."
"Yashwant...Varun ka shishya..."
"lekin wo to ab NSUI president ban chuka hai, BC kahi usne bhi ladke laakar khade kar diye to..." "dayi chod denge uski bhi aur uske ladko ke bhi..."Arun ne kaha....
.
College se nikalkar hum log paidal hee main gate ki taraf chalne lage ki mujhe kuchh yaad aaya....
"ruko be, aise paidal jaane se impression kharab hoga, jao apne class ke laundo ke bike ki chabhi udhaar maang kar lao aur jo Mech-8th Sem. Me jaa raha hai,wo mere bag se mera goggle bhi le aana..."
.
Mere itna bolte hee kuchh ladke bhagkar gaye aur 5 minute me hee bike ki chabhiya aur mera goggle lekar aa gaye...maine apna goggle lagaya aur ek bike ki chabhi apne hath me li...
"tu chala lega be,ya main chalau...kahi us din ki tarah thok mat dena"Arun ne mujhse kaha...
"tu baith peechhe, chalane ko to main aeroplane chala loon,phhir ye bike kya chiz hai...."
"Yashwant college ke main gate ke bahar abhi hai ,pahle ye to confirm kar le...nahi to faltu me waha jaakar chus lenge..."
"good..."
Maine turant apna mobile nikala aur Main gate ke bahar bane photocopy ke dukaan sambhalne wale ladke ko call kiya aur usase Yashwant ke baare me puchha....
"khushkhabri hai be...wo Yash wahi hai,chalo chodate hai BKL ko..." "challllloooo....."bike par sawar hokar sab chillaye....
.
Parking se college ke gate tak pahuchne me hume chand minutes hee lage.Jaisa ki photocopy wale ne bataya tha, waisich hee waha ka scene tha...yani ki Yashwant ek chay-samose ke dukaan par baitha cigarette pee raha tha aur uske sath 6-7 ladke the.....
"Arun,Shooting ki shuruat kar..."Us chay-samose ke dukaan ke paas pahuch kar maine kaha... "Movie -Yashwant ki chudai, take number-1...action...."
"abey oye chuswant, idhar aa be BC..."Arun ke action bolne ke baad meri muh se pahli line yahi nikli....
Update-208 :
.
Yashwant waise to tha bada tagda aur jis hisaab se uski reputation college me thi uske anusar use mujhe
bilkul nazar-andaz kar dena chahiye tha...lekin wo us waqt thoda confuse dikha aur thodi der tak charo taraf dekhne ke baad chay ka glass dukaan me rakhkar humari taraf badha.....
College me reputation banana bahut aasan hai lekin use barkarar rakhna utna hee mushqil.iske bahut saare example mere paas hai jaise ki Varun, Gautam...dono ki reputation shuruat me ekdum faadu thi lekin baad me jo hua ,wo sab jaante hai...wahi dusari taraf Sidar bhai ka jo darza college me unke rahte hue tha wo unke jaane ke baad bhi tha...Sidar bhai ,ab kaha honge ,ye koyi nahi jaanta lekin har saal hostel me aane wala har banda unke baare me zaroor jaanega aur aisa tab tak chalta rahega ,jab tak humara college chalta rahega....aur agar meri baat ki jaaye to, meri to baat hee alag hai
.
Yashwant ke sath uske sath ke bhi ladke uske peechhe-peechhe humare paas aa pahuche . bahut der tak hum me se koyi kuchh nahi bola, sab apne-apne opposition ko maun vrat dharan kiye hue nihare jaa rahe the....
"abey oye, yaha ek-dusare ko propose karne aaye ho kya jo kab se ek-dusare ko dekhe jaa rahe ho...."sabka maun vrat todte hue main cheekha....
"haan bol ,kya hua....aur naam zara izzat se le..."Chuswant ne akad kar kaha...
"izzat layak kuchh kiya hota to main tere charan dhota lekin haqiqat ye nahi hai...to phhir tune ye kaise soch liya ki main tujhse achchhe se baat karunga be chuswant...chussu..chusail...chutiye..."
"ruk lawda..."apna mobile nikalkar Yashwant bola"yadi jigar hai to dus minute yahi ruk..."
"dekh be akhand chutiye...yaha matter ye nahi hai ki main yaha kab tak rukunga, balki matter ye hai ki tu yaha kab tak rukega...."kahte hue main bike se utra aur Yashwant ke kaan par jordar jhapad mara ,jisase uska mobile neeche gira aur Yashwant sanna gaya.....
"maro be ,lawdo in pappuo ko..."bolte hue maine yashwant ka baal pakda aur uska sar upar apni taraf karte hue kaha"abhi samjha raha hoon ,sudhar ja...warna agli baar marunga...kal se yadi kisi ne bhi complaint kiya ki tune kisi bhi ladki par comment kiya to phhir aisa fodunga ki yaha baithkar comment karna to door facebook me bhi comment karne layak nahi rahega....ab chal jaa.."
Yashwant ko chhodkar main peechhe muda ,lekin maloom nahi mera kya mood hua ,jo main ekdum se peechhe palta aur Yashwant ke dusare kaan ko bhi jhanna diya....
"sale abhi tak gaya nahi..."
Mere itna bolte hee Saurabh ek danda liye hue aaya aur ghuma kar Yashwant ke peeth me jad diya..... "abey, marna nahi hai...samjhana hai..."
"laad mera samjhana hai...is BC ko to first year se taad raha tha main,..."bolte hue Saurabh ne ek baar phhir Yashwant ko pela.....
Jab se maine Yashwant ko pahla jhapad jada tha tab se wo bas khade hokar mujhe dekhe jaa raha tha...jab Saurabh ne usko dande se thoka tab bhi wo waisa hee khada raha...
"madarlund ghoorta kya hai be...marega kya, le maar....beta jitne tere paas ladke nahi honge na usase adhik to mere paas bike hai aur har bike me minimum teen ladke sawar rahte hai...maximum tu kitne bhi le le aur itna dukhi kyun ho raha hai.tere aatm-samman ko dhakka pahucha kya...abey dil pe mat le, tere guru ,Varun tak ko chod kar baitha hoon ..."
"chalo be..aaj time kharab hai..."itani der me pahli baar Yashwant kuchh bola aur apne dosto ke sath waha se jaane laga...lekin thodi door jakar wo bola"Arman, tera game main bajaunga...bas kuchh din ruk jaa.."
"MC...jyada bolega to shaheed kar dunga yahi..."Arun chillaya.... "Arman tu apne din ginne shuru kar de..."
"mere jaise hee ek mahan vyakti ne kaha tha ki 'don't count the days, make the days count'....din tum
jaise chusad gina karte hai, hum jaise log to har din ko yaadgar banate hai aur ja, jitne Pappu ikattha kar sakta hai kar le ,mera vaada hai tujhse,jis din bhi tu aayega, puri tarah chud ke jayega....All the best , Chushwant"
.
Yashwant aur uske dosto ke waha se jaane ke baad hum log wapas college ki taraf badhe....Lunch ke baad wali class aadha nikal chuki thi ,isliye parking me bike khadi karke sab idhar-udhar chal diye aur main bhi hostel jaane ke liye apne dosto se vida lekar hostel ki taraf chal diya.....
"Arman ruk..."peechhe se Arun ne mujhe aawaz lagayi to main ruka... "kya hua ,lund chusega kya...""matter kya tha ,Yashwant ko marne ka..."
"kuchh khas nahi ,aise hee mood hua to thok diya..."
"beta bina bhook ke to insaan khana bhi nahi khata, phhir tujh jaise selfish aur fattu bina kisi matlab ke aise hee kisi ko nahi maar sakta, wo bhi ye jante hue ki saamne wala baad me teri le bhi sakta hai...isliye muh khol aur sach-sach bak ki matter kya tha..."
"matter...well matter is the Objects that take up space and have mass are called matter. Everything around you is made up of matter. Chocolate cake is made up of matter. You are made of matter. "
"ye le mukka, this punch is also made up of matter ,now tell me the real matter..."ek ghusa mere pet me jad kar Arun bola...
"kuchh nahi be...hoooh...wo Aradhna ko ulta -seedha bola tha usne....aahhh, bose dk, thoda dheere mara kar..."
"Aradhna, matlab laundiya...ye to hostel ke niyamo ke shakht khilaf hai...Sidar bhai ne kaha tha ki ladki ke lafde me koyi kisi ka sath nahi dega..."
"dekh Aalund(Arun ) ,main khud bhi Sidar ki izzat karta hoon lekin wo rule unke jamane ka tha aur ab dusara jamana hai....waise bhi tere siwa kisko maloom hai ki maine ye sab kisi ladki ke peechhe kiya hai..."aankh marte hue main bola...
"Arman,apne laundo se jhooth bolna buri baat hai..."
"nahi re Aalund, jhooth bolna buri baat nahi hai matlab achchhi tarah se jhooth na bolna buri baat hai...ab tu hee dekh, Hostel wale is waqt ye soch rahe hai ki maine sajjan purush wala kaam kiya hai
,Yashwant ko maarkar....kyunki Yashwant se college ki sari ladkiya pareshaan thi...infact ab to wo ladkiya mujhe apna bhagwan bana lengi....beta ,Arun...duniya me mahaan banne ke sirf do raste hai, pahla ya to mahano wala kaam karo ya phhir chhota-mota kaam karke use mahaan tarike se sabke saamne pesh karo...ab nikalta hoon, meri daru ki botal mera intezaar kar rahi hogi...."
.
Us din pure hostel me sabse 100-100 lekar mahotsva ka aayojan kiya gaya tha...hostel me pel ke daru aayi thi, jise jo brand jitni bhi chahiye thi ,use de diya gaya aur sab ko dene ke baad hum bhi gala tar karne ke liye baithe.....
"Arman bhai,ek baat puchhu"Rajshri Pandey ne apni farmaish pesh ki...
"puchh...puchh, dharti se lekar aasmaan tak kuchh bhi puchh daal...sabka jawab dega re tera Faizal..." "Aradhna ko aapne kaise set kiya..."
"Aradhna...."pahle to main joro se hansa ,phhir achanak serious ho gaya aur phhir kuhchh der tak sochane ke baad bola"it's a long story bro...sau saal lag jayenge ise bayaan karne me..."
"thik hai koyi baat nahi, ab main sone jata hoon...bahut chadh gayi hai mujhe..."bolkar Pandey ji ladkhadate hue uthe aur do kadam chalne ke baad dhadaam se gir pade...
"yaha gravity ki value jyada kaise hai, jo main apne aap gir gaya..."Zameen me lete-lete Pandey ji
bole"Arman bhai, kuchh gyaan ki baate batao, jisase mujhe guilty feel na ho ki maine itni jyada kyun pee li..."
"gyaan ki baate...main batata hoon.."mere muh kholne pahle Arun bol pada"dekh, Cut..Iron, Iron..nahi, Iron cut Iron, diamond cut diamond. Agree..."
"agree..."
"thik isi tarah daru cut daru, isliye yadi daru ka nasha hatana hai to aur piyo...bole to khoob piyo, khoob jiiiiiiyoooooooo...."bolte hue Arun bhi ludhak gaya....
Rajshri Pandey aur Arun ke ludhakne ke baad maine Saurabh ko dekha, wo bhi kharrate bhar raha tha... "i am the last man on this planet....sala zindagi barbaad kar di maine apni....lekin fikar not , kal se daru ko hath tak nahi lagaunga....abey utho na, mujhe baat karne ka man kar raha hai..."
Maine Arun,Saurabh aur Rajshri Pandey ko bahut uthane ki koshish ki lekin wo teeno uthe nahi...thak haar kar main deewar ki tek lekar wapas baitha aur direct botal ko muh se laga liya...
"Amitabh Bachchan kahta hai ki daru peene se liver kharab hota hai, lekin sala yaha to liver hee kharab nahi ho rahaaaaaaaa...jabki...jabki..jab....Esha i love you, yar..pat jaa na yaar..chhod de us Gautam ko,..sala bahut bada kamina hai, mujhse pyar kar phhir dekh ki pyar kis chiz ka naam hai.sala meri to kismat hee jhand hai, mujhe pyar bhi us ladki se hua, jo dusare ke pyar me jaan dene ki koshish kar chuki hai...i..love you, Esha...love you...llloovvvee you..lloovvee...."isi ke sath mera bhi banta dhar ho gaya.....
Update-209
.
Waise to mere sath bahut saari dikkate judi hui hai lekin jaise sapne mujhe aate hai ,unki to baat hee alag hai...Main zindagi me sabse jyada teen baar dara hoon aur teeno baar main neend me tha.yani ki mere paas aise teen darawane sapne hai ,jo meri ab tak faad kar rakh dete hai....adhiktar sapne me dekhe gaye incident hosh me aane ke baad yaad nahi rahte ,lekin jin teen sapno ki baat main kar raha hoon, unka har ek pal jehan me aise basa hai jaise wo aam sapna na hokar (a+ b )²=a²+ 2ab +b² ka
formula ho....bole to full yaad hai...
mere top three horrible dream me third number aata hai 'A Dead dream' ka jiske baare me aap sab jaante hee hoge...dusara number aata hai ,us sapne ka jisme main raat ko achanak kisi jungle me hota hoon aur bas bhagta rahta hoon, phhir achanak mujhe ek mandir dikhta hai ,jaha kuchh log aadmiyo ki bali de rahe the....jab main bhag kar waha pahuchta hoon to wo log mujhe dekh lete hai aur mujhe pakad kar rassi se bandh dete hai....us waqt waha us mandir me kul chaar log the jinke chehre mujhe aaj tak yaad hai...un charo me se ek , ek aadmi ka gala halaal karta hai aur mujhe kahta hai ki "agli baari teri hai ,taiyar ho ja...."aur uske baad fatak se meri neend khul jati hai aur ye sab sapna tha ,iske liye main uparwale ka dil hee dil me shukriya ada karta hoon....three horrible dream ki is list me first number par jo sapna hai usme maine khud ko marte hue dekha hai aur main bata nahi sakta ki khud ko marte hue dekhna kaisa lagta hai...i think i should start a thread with title'My horrible dreams'
Well, main ye bakwas isliye kar raha hoon kyunki us raat jab main pelam-pel daru peekar...deewar ka
sahara lekar soya tha to mujhe sapne me Atindra dikha....ye mere sath aisa pahli baar ho raha tha ki jab koyi dream jo main pahle dekh chuka hoon , wo dobara se mujhe dikhayi de raha tha...matlab ki jis sapne ko maine 5 saal pahle dekha tha, wo repeat ho raha tha....scene wahi tha, main neend se utha to shaam ho chuki thi aur hostel me shor macha hua tha, pahle ki tarah maine is baar bhi khud ko kosa ki main itni der tak kaise sota raha aur phhir jis taraf halla mach raha tha us taraf bhaga ,jaha bathroom me Atindra ki body latki hui thi...uske baad meri neend khuli aur scene ab bhi bilkul waisa hee tha ,jaise ki 5 saal pahle tha...mere hosh me aate hee mera ghutna deewar par jor se takraya tha.
Waise kahne ko to sab kuchh waisa hee tha aur meri fat bhi waisi hee rahi thi lekin isme ek baat jo nayi thi wo ye ki mujhe abki baar maloom tha ki ye ek sapna hai aur sirf ek sapna....jaisa ki mere is 'A Dead dream' ki ending 5 saal pahle hui thi , waisi ab bhi ho rahi thi ,yani ki jis hall me main khana kha raha tha waha se sabhi ladke achanak hee eka-ek gayab ho gaye aur mera wo marhoom dost zameen me bikhare hue anaaj ke dano ko apne hatho se bator raha tha.....
"Arman..."apni laal aankho se usne mujhe dekha....
"tang aa chuka hoon is MC se, BC jab dekho tab tapak padta hai...."mera ye bolna mere sapne me ye dusari nayi chiz thi, jo 5 saal pahle nahi hua tha....
"tu Atindra...main teri maa chod dunga ,yadi dobara mujhe kabhi dikha to...BC har chiz ki koyi limit hoti hai .beta abhi hostel ke laundo ko bulwakar teri rooh ka bang kar dunga....aur ye tu jo khana bator raha hai use kya apne gand me bharega, chal nikal ,lawda mujhe darane aaya hai...."haste hue maine sapne me kaha aur idhar dusari taraf neend me haste hue meri neend khuli.....
"ab kabhi nahi aayega BC sapne me, finally i won..."hath uthate maine khud ko shabashi di aur uth kar khada hua....
Abhi sirf 6 baje the ,isliye maine jacket taana aur ek cigarette jala kar hostel ke bahar aa gaya....Hostel ke bahar aakar main sadak par chalte hue girls hostel ki taraf badha....
waise to meri neend 9 baje ke pahle kabhi nahi khulti thi lekin aaj jab main subah 6 baje uthkar bahar aaya to mujhe mere college ke baare me kuchh alag hee chize maloom hui, jaise ki hostel ki kuchh ladkiya ,shorts pahankar subah-subah daudane jaati hai....kuchh ladkiya apne sport ki practice bhi karti hai ,jinme ladke bhi shamil rahte hai.....
"ab samjha sala ki aise chutiya log maal kaise pata lete hai...ye fale, subah-subah ladkiyo ke hath me apna lund thama dete hai jise ladkiya tham bhi leti hai....BC kal se main bhi subah 6 baje uthkar practice me jaunga...ek na ek to zaroor pategi..."
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Hostel ke bahar main taqriban aadha ghanta tak tahalta raha aur phhir wapas hostel aa gaya...hostel
aakar maine Arun aur Saurabh ko bhi apna ye plan bataya ,lekin unhone saaf mana kar diya ki wo 6 baje nahi uthenge,,..
"beta ,yadi subah 6 baje Katrina Kaif apna chut bhi dikha rahi ho na tab bhi main nahi jaunga....9 baje uthna mera janmsiddh adhikar hai,jise koyi nahi chheen sakta "Arun toothpaste ungali se ghiste hue bola"aur lawde ,aaj college se aate time yaad dilana brush lena hai..."
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College me sab kuchh baki din ki tarah normal hee hua siway meri aur Aradhna ki baat-chit ke aalawa...matlab maine usase pahli baar chhutt kaha ki main uske sath sex karna chahta hoon aur usne bhi full josh ke sath haan kaha aur phhir time fix ho gaya....time lunch ke baad ka tha aur venue Avadhesh ka room tha, Avadhesh ek flat lekar college ke hee kuchh ladko ke sath rahta tha...Avadhesh ne mujhe lunch me hee apne flat ka address ,flat ki key ke sath diya aur kaha ki college khatm hone ke tak main apna kaam nipta loon aur ye baat main kisi ko na batau, khaskar ke uske flat partners ko......
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"tujhe Aids vagerah to nahi hai na..."Avadhesh aur uske dosto ke flat me pahuchkar maine Aradhna se puchha....
hum dono flat ke andar aaye aur maine darwaza lock kiya.... "tum ye sab kyun puchh rahe ho..."
"kyunki main condom nahi laya...."
"to tumhe dar hai ki yadi mere jariye tumhe aids hua to tum mar jaoge..."
"dar mujhe marne ka nahi hai janeman...dar mujhe aids hone ke baad ki life ka hai...."apna pant utarte hue maine kaha....
"mere kapde tum utaroge ya main khud utaru..."bistar par lete hue Aradhna boli...
"uski fikar tum bilkul mat karo ,wo to main utar hee lunga, lekin pahle ye bata ki muh me legi kya....bahut maza aayega.....mujhe aur shayad tujhe bhi..."
Update-210 :
"maine pahle hee kaha hai siiirrr..."bistar par uthkar baithte hue Aradhna boli...
waise to main koyi dariyadil insaan nahi hoon lekin ye bolte hue Aradhna ne jaise apna muh banaya use dekhkar maine socha hatao yaar, agli baar kar lenge waise bhi abhi to aadha 8th semester baki hai..... "okay..."bolkar main bhi uske barabar bistar me baitha aur Aradhna ko dekhne laga....
Waise to mere paas logic, tricks ka pitara hai .lekin Google maharaj ki kripa se main thoda bahut eye reading bhi kar leta hoon,jo ki adhiktar sahi nahi hoti ,lekin kabhi-kabhi sach hoti hai....Aradhna is waqt mujhe dekhkar kaanp rahi thi.Maine uski taraf dekha wo thoda sa ghabrayi hui thi , jaise ki ye uska first time ho....
"iske pahle kiya hai..." "na...mm haan...ek baar..."
"great..."thoda ,peechhe hat kar maine puchha"kaha, kab ,kiske sath..." "wo...gaanv me ek ladke ne jabarjasti ki thi khet me...."kanpte hue Aradhna boli... "too bad, uske baad kya hua..."
"uske baad main sirf badnaam hui aur kuchh nahi hua...."
"aisa kya..."iske baad maine aage kuchh nahi puchha ,kyunki maine andaza laga liya tha ki jis ladke ne Aradhna ke sath jabarjasti chudayi machayi thi ,wo koyi bade baap ka launda hoga aur phhir ya to un logo ne Aradhna ke baap ko dhamki di hogi ya phhir paise....filhaal main yaha Aradhna ka dil bahlaane nahi aaya tha isliye main is topic me aur na ghuste hue ,Aradhna ki taraf ghusa....
"ok, let's start Arman, chod de isko ab..."maine khud se kaha aur Aradhna ke honth ki taraf apne honth slowly motion me badhaye...ki tabhi Aradhna ne apna chehra upar kiya....Maine Aradhna ko dekha aur phhir wo soch kya rahi hai ye janne ke liye maine uski aankho me dekha....Aradhna is waqt kisi uljhan me nahi thi ki wo mujhe roke ya nahi ,balki wo to puri tarah taiyar thi aur na hee use kisi bhi tarah ki jhijhak thi...lekin ek ghabrahat uski aankho ko dhak kar baithi hui thi...aur mera ye samajh paana ki Aradhna kya soch rahi hai, bahut mushqil ho gaya,isliye maine thode der ke liye apne dimag ko aaram diya aur wapas Aradhna ke hontho ki taraf badha...is baar main safal hua aur kuchh der ki shanti ke baad Aradhna ke honth bhi harkat karne lage,phhir meri tarah ekdum se tez ho gaye....
Aradhna ke hontho ko apne hontho se masalte hue hee maine use bistar par neeche litaya aur main khud uske upar aa gaya...hum dono ki ye lip kissing ka programme beech-beech me rukta aur phhir thodi der tak ek-dusare ko dekhkar phhir shuru ho jata....
ab main Aradhna ke upar puri tarah se sama gaya aur apne hath se kabhi uski chhatiyo ko masalta to kabhi uski choot ko...main jab bhi Aradhna ki choot ko uske jeans ke upar se sahlata to wo thoda uchhal jati thi aur apne jaangho ko idhar-udhar karke apni choot ko chhipane ki koshish karti....lekin jab maine uske jeans ke hook ko khola to wo shant ho gayi. usne kiss ka reply dena bhi band kar diya aur phhir se apni ajeeb nazaro se mujhe dekhne lagi....
"what..."Aradhna ko is tarah dekhta hua paakar maine puchha... "kuchh nahi..."
"mujhe maloom tha..."bolkar maine Aradhna ki jeans uske ghutno tak neeche khiska di aur uski panty ke
andar hath daal kar uski choot sahlane laga....sath me wo world famous kaam bhi kiya jise log 'ungali karna ' kahte hai
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Aradhna ki jeans ghutno tak neeche khiska kar aur panty ke andar hath daalkar uski chut sahlate hue, uski chut me ungali karte hue maine apne dusare hath se uske top ko upar gardan tak chadha diya aur bra ke upar se hee uske boobs par muh ferne laga....
Aradhna ki choot se pahle sirf deepika mam ki choot me maine ungali ki thi aur us waqt mujhe achanak uski yaad aane lagi thi....Aradhna bhale hee ,deepika ki tarah hot maal na ho lekin Aradhna ki choot,deepika ki choot se kayi guna mast thi, ye maine ungali karte waqt hee jaan liya tha....
Aradhna ke upar se main ek baar phhir utha aur uski jeans jo ki ghutno me atki thi use pairo ke beech se pura nikala...yahi kaam maine uski panty ke sath bhi kiya, aur Aradhna ko peechhe palta kar uski bra bhi utar kar fek diya aur Aradhna ke upar abki baar nanga chadh gaya...ab hum dono hee bina kapde ke thi aur Aradhna ko smooching karte waqt mera lund kabhi uski chut se touch hota to kabhi uski jangho se...kuchh der tak aisa hee karte rahne ke baad Aradhna ne apne hath se apni choot ko failaya aur mujhe ishara kiya....
"thank you..."kahte hue maine apna lund Aradhna ki choot ke muhane ke paas tikaya .
Sach batau to us waqt main bahut khush tha, pata nahi kyun par main tha....mujhe Aradhna se pyar nahi tha lekin phhir bhi main khush tha...bahut khush tha...
"do you really love me Arman....sir.."jab main apna lund,Aradhna ki choot me pelne wala tha ,tabhi usne puchha...
"yeah, ofcourse, i love you..."bolte hue maine apna lund Aradhna ki choot me ghusa diya aur apni aankhe band kar li...uske baad meri speed badhte samay ke sath badhti gayi aur jab maine apni aankhe kholi to dekha ki Aradhna ki bhi aankhe band thi...wo apne dono hatho se mujhe kaskar pakde hue the aur main lagatar apna lund uske choot ke andar-bahar kare jaa raha tha......humare is pure khel ke dauran Aradhna ne apni aankhe band karke rakhi hui thi aur usne apni aankhe tabhi kholi, jab ye khel khatm hua...aur usne ek baar phhir mujhse puchha...
"Do you really love me,Arman....Sir.."
Mujhe is tarah ke dekhne ke uske andaaz ne jaise pahli baar mujhe ye ahsaas karaya ki maine abhi kuchh galat kiya, kuchh aisa jo ki mujhe nahi karna chahiye tha.lekin phhir bhi maine kiya.....yahi sawal jab Aradhna ne mujhse pahli baar puchha tha,tab bhi bahut der nahi hui thi...yadi main khud par control karta aur ruk jaata to shayad wo kuchh nahi hota, jo ki hone wala tha....
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"apni bra,panty pahan aur chal...5 baje ke pahle hume pahuchna hai..."
"lekin abhi to sirf 3 baje hai..."apni panty ko apne jaangho ke beech phhansa kar Aradhna boli... "to kya pure 4:59 me hee is room ko chhodegi....chal jaldi, mujhe kuchh kaam hai..." "ok..chillate kyun ho..."
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Avadhesh ke room se nikalkar maine Aradhna ko hostel ke paas chhoda aur college pahuchkar bike aur room ki keys unke maliko ko transfer karke ,hostel ki taraf badha....
Itne dino baad apni pyaas shant karke main jaise khush ke maare foola nahi sama raha tha...dil kar raha tha ki nachte hue hostel jaun, pure raaste bhar patakhe fodu...lekin filhaal maine aisa kuchh nahi kiya kyunki is waqt main college me tha, jaha meri bahut izzat thi....
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"Mujhko hilane de,do boond tapkane de...
apni choot me mujhe lauda ghusane de... yo..
chud rahi hai na tu, chod raha hoon main....
chud rahi hai na tu...tu..tu..."Esha ko saamne dekhkar main ruka....
Esha ko saamne dekhkar ek pal me to mujhe jaise heart attack hee aa gaya ki ye maine kya kah diya
,lekin phhir yaad aaya ki main to gunguna raha tha, use kaha se sunayi dega...yesss...chal beta
,Arman...role me aaja...
"tummm...shayad meri die hard fan hogi, jo ki mera autograph lene ke liye kal se is raste par khadi hogi...pata nahi log mera ek autograph paane ke liye na jaane kya-kya karte hai...lao ,pen...copy do..." "ho gayi nautanki...ab chale, Chhatrapal sir ne bulaya hai..."
"why ? I'm not interested..." "look..."
"looking..."
"seedhe se chalte ho ya main jaakar Chhatrapal sir ko bol doon ki Arman ko farewell party ki anchoring karne me koyi interest nahi hai..."
"ek minute...pata nahi mere kaan kyun baj rahe hai...mujhe abhi anchoring word sunayi diya...wo kya hai na ki golden jubilee ke function me anchoring na kar paane ka sadma jo mujhe laga tha, uska asar abhi tak hai...khair tum bolo, kya bol rahi thi..."
"hey bhagwan....ab ise kaise samjhaun..."
"kyun khali-fokat me bhagwan ka gala daba rahi ho...ye lo mera number 7415****** . Aur jab bhi koyi problem ho,mujhe call kar lena...abhi main chalta hoon ,kyunki aadhe ghante baad meri America ke liye flight hai...."Esha ke dimag ka bharta banakar main aage badha ,lekin phhir socha ki ek punch aur maara jaye ,isliye main peechhe palatkar tez aawaz me bola"don't worry, main kal autograph de dunga....isliye ab yaha khadi mat raho,ghar jao,tumhare mammi-daddy pareshan ho rahe honge..."
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Esha ko puri tarah dharashayi karke gaana maine jaha chhoda tha ,use wahi se start kiya... "chud rahi hai na tu, chod raha hoon main...."
Update-211 :
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"le batana be ,tune kal Aradhna ko choda kya...."bhari utsukta ke sath Arun ne teesari bar puchha aur maine usi utsukta ke sath teesari baar bhi Arun ko taal diya.
"le batana be, gand mara kya....mujhe bhi dilana..." "tu bose dk ,khana khane dega mujhe...."
"itna jhallata kyun hai, nahi batana to mat bata..."
"jab teen baar mana kar diya to samajh jana chahiye na ki main nahi batana chahta ,ab kya lawda main tere samne apne lund ki katha bachu...baklol..."
"tu gand mara aur tu..."dining table me door baithe ek ladke par baraste hue Arun chillaya"tu lawde roti pass karega ya sari gand me bharega...."
"to aakar le ja na, tevar kisko dikhata hai..."
"chup chap ,roti lekar idhar aa,warna jo haal tere room partner kaliye ka hai,wahi haal tera bhi karunga....."
Arun ke in alfaazo ne us ladke par jabarjast asar kiya aur us ladke ne thik waisa hee kiya jaisa ki Arun ne karne ko kaha tha.....
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"Arman bhai, main hostel chhod raha hoon...socha ki aapse milta chalu...."second year ka ek ladka mere saamne khade hokar bola....
"kyun be, tujhe kya hua...."
"bahut kuchh hua hai Arman bhai, ye sale seniors....jab bhi inka mood hota hai second year walo ko line me khada kar dete hai aur phhir jaanwaro ki tarah marte hai...galti humare batch se kisi ne bhi ki ho, maar sabko padti hai...kisi bhi senior ka mood kharab ho ,to maar padti hai, kisi MC ki MC girlfriend ne use kuchh kah diya to wo BKL aa jata hai apni *** chudane....yadi inko neend nahi aa rahi ho to tab bhi bhugatna hume hee padta hai aur ye sale tab tak hume thokte hai,jab tak inhe neend na aa jaye.BC ullu ki aaulad hai, do din se kutto ne sone nahi diya....ab raat bhar jaagkar ladka class jayega to class me neend aana lazimi hai aur yadi by chance class me jhapki marte hue kisi teacher ne dekh liya to phhir uski ram-kahani alag......abhi kal ki hee baat hai ,aaj midterm tha to main 1 baje tak padhkar so raha tha ki 2 baje wo chutiya mahant aakar mujhe marne laga aur jab maine usase puchha ki kyun maar raha hai
to bolta hai ki aise hee maar raha hoon...BC ye kya tamasha hai, humlog bhi insaan hai ,koyi randi ki chut nahi jo koyi bhi aaye aur chod ke chala jaye.....mere baap ne bahut kaha tha ki math mat le, mat le...lekin nahi lawda humko hee ramanujan banne ka bada shauk tha ,aur aaj wo shauk,bade shaan se utar raha hai..."
Pahle to main uski baat sunkar bahut hansa lekin jab Arun ne ishara karke chup rahne ko kaha to main aise serious hua jaise ki mujhpar kisi ne gun taan ke rakhi ho aur bol raha ho ki"le beta ab haskar dikha...."
"tu kahna kya chahta hai....tu kahi ka turramkhan hai kya...sabko ye jhelna padta hai ,BC kya humne nahi jhela ye sab...beta humara time par to nanga karke chhat par le jate the aur line me khada karake ek- dusare ke lulli hath me pakadwa kar bolte the...lo beta train chalao...."usko baithakar Arun bade shaan se bola, jabki isme shaan wali koyi baat nahi thi....
"baat wo nahi hai ki usne mujhe mara....lekin usne mujhe neend se uthakar mara ,baat ye hai....saaman mera sab pack hai, bas aapko batane aaya tha...."
"na dil pe le ,na muh me le...lund me le aur jaakar apna saaman wapas rakh de..." "fayda kya, aaj raat phhir koyi dusara aayega aur phhir marega..."
"to humlog mar gaye hai kya...ab se koyi bhi aaye to bol dena ki Mr.Arman se mil le..."
"tu kya kahi ka topchand hai jo tera naam le...mera naam lena be...bol dena ki'yadi tum logo ne mujhe chhua bhi to Arun tumlogo ki mother fucking kar dega...."
"Arman bolna be, jyada power hai is naam me....Is jhatue ko to koyi pahchanta bhi nahi..." "yadi tune iska naam liya,to agle din se main tujhe marunga..."
"idhar sun be..."Arun ka hath marod kar maine kaha"A r u n= 4 letter aur A R M A N=5 letter...mere naam me jyada dam hai...tu ja apna saaman wapas wahi rakh de jaha se uthaya tha....baki main dekh lunga...."
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Us ladke ke jane ke baad Arun ne phhir se Aradhna ka topic chheda... "yar Aradhna ki chut dilana, ek khamba dunga...."
" duniya chand par pahuch gayi aur tu abtak choot par atka hua hai....chal jaldi ,college ke liye late ho rahe hai..."
Humlog ekdum time par college pahuche the ya phhir kahe ki thoda pahle hee pahuch gaye the...teacher laapata tha isliye timepass karne ke liye idhar-udhar ki faltu baate kar rahe the...jaise ki'abey us ladki ki gand dekh choda-choda kar chutad ka chabutara bana diya hai...randi hai lawdi..maa- baap ne yaha b.tech karne bheja hai aur ye yaha c.tech kar rahi hai....."
Meri nazar ek dusari ladki ki gand par ja tiki aur mere muh se anmol vachan nikalne hee wale the ki darwaje par dastak hui aur kisi ne mera naam pukara.....main us samay full josh me tha isliye bina darwaje ki taraf dekhe main ye bol gaya ki'baad me aana time nahi hai' lekin phhir mujhe laga ki ye aawaz kisi ladki ki hai aur phhir mere sixth sense ne mujhe us aawaz ki pahchan Esha ke roop me karati,tab meri fati aur main dheere-dheere, slow motion me apna pyara sa mukhda darwaje ki taraf kiya aur khada hokar Arun par chillaya...
"bola na be tujhe ki baad me ye sab batana ,abhi mere paas time nahi hai...Esha tum ek min. ruko,main abhi aaya...."
(ye pakka aaj mujhe i love you bolegi, i know she loves me, lekin kahne me sharmati hai...how sweet )
Update-212 :
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Jab ek kasai ke bakre ko achchh khana milne lagta hai to wo bakra bahut khush hota hai aur sochta hai ki uska malik kitna achchha hai ,jabki kahani iske thik ulat hoti hai jiska andaaza us bakre ko thode dino baad lagta hai,jab uske katne ki bari aati hai....
College ke un antim dino me mera bhi haal kuchh usi bakre ki tarah tha jise bharpur khana mil raha tha.mere jaise laundo ki sabse badi demand hoti hai choot...BC raat yahi sochate-sochate gujar dete hai ki kahi se chodne ko mil jaye .lekin meri demand thi room aur meri raat ye sochate-sochate gujarti thi ki BC ab kiska room jugad kiya jaye taki Aradhna ko chod saku.....khair kahani me aate hai....
Us time jab main Esha ke sath bahar aaya to mujhe ye to pakka yakin tha ki kuchh na kuchh lafda hai isliye main flashback me gaya aur yaad karne laga ki abki baar maine kya kiya ,jo Esha janeman mera pata dhoondhate-dhoondhate mere class tak pahuch gayi.....
"kuchh bakegi bhi ,sorry mera matlab kuchh bolegi bhi ki aise hee silent mode me rahegi....kahi tu mera khoon to nahi karne wali na...""man to mera yahi karne ka kar raha hai, lekin problem ye hai ki mere paas chaku nahi hai,warna khoon to kab ka ho chuka hota..."
"oye chaku maar ke bezzati karegi meri, pura ka pura talwar ghusadna...fala koyi izzat hee nahi rakhi...khair,wo sab chhod aur topic me aa, "
"farewell function me anchoring karne ke liye jo-jo interested hai,use Chhatrapal sir ne bulaya hai...." "to maine kab kaha ki main interested hoon...bhad me jaye Chhatrapal aur bhad me ja tu,uuuuuuu.....Tushar Kapoor "
"Chhatrapal sir ne kaha hai ki jinhone Golden jubilee me anchoring ki thi ,unme se do group ko select
karna hai...aur kasam se mujhe tum par itna gussa aa raha hai ki bata nahi sakti....isliye ab sari jimmedari tumhari hai , jao aur kuchh bhi karke humari team ka selection karwao....warna..."
"kyun dil pe le rahi hai itna aur anchoring nahi karegi to mar nahi jayegi...isliye tu apni class me ja aur
main apni class me jata hoon...khamkha mera keemati waqt barbaad kar diya..."waha se apni class ki taraf chalte hue maine kaha....
"yadi tumne aisa kiya to main tumse baat nahi karungi..."
"to mat kar , kaunsa tu mujhe daru kharid ke deti hai..."apna co-ordinates zara sa bhi change kiye bina main class ki taraf badhta raha.....
"Arman, i love you..."
"ye kya tha BC ...".dynamic situation se direct static situation me aate hue maine khud se puchha....Esha ke hontho se nikle ye char shabd'Arman ,i love you' mujh par hydrogen bomb ki tarah fate aur mere andar trahi-trahi mach gayi....achanak se mere body me blood circulation itna badh gaya ki pura sharir laal ho gaya aur sath me temperature jo badha wo alag....mujhe aisa lagne laga jaise main dheere-dheere coma me ja raha hoon.mere sochane samajhne ki sari kshamta ek pal me jawab de gayi,kuchh samajh me hee nahi aa raha tha ki kidhar dekhu ,kidhar na dekhu...peechhe mudu ya na mudu...Esha se kuchh bolu ya aise hee murti ki tarah khade hokar uska intezaar karu....halat to ye thi ki lawda apna naam bhi lete hue jeebh ladkhada rahi thi...halat to ye thi ki main beech-beech me saans lena bhi bhool ja raha tha aur jab eka-ek pel ke saans leta to aisi aawaz aati jaise main asthma ka marij hoon aur khushi to puchho mat...dil kar raha tha ki hod ko bahar nikal kar khoob pelu aur usase bolu ki "bol lawde ,aur assignment dene ke liye teachers ko bolega...teri maa ka...."
I,L,O,V,E,Y,O,U alphabet se bane jin shabdo ko sunne ke liye maine chaar saal bita diye the aur jin shabdo ko sunne ki mujhe ab ummid tak nahi thi ,aaj wo shabd mere kaan ke raaste seedhe dil tak pahuch gaye the, jiske karan meri heartbeat itni jyada tez ho gayi ki mujhe lagne laga ki ab mera heart fail ho jayega, ab mara.....lekin jab agle 5 minute tak main zinda raha to maine khud ke system ko wapas on kiya,jo ki Esha ke karan kuchh der pahle shut down ho gaya tha.....
mujhe uswaqt kuchh bhi samajh nahi aa raha tha ki kya bolu,kya puchhu ,kya karu,kya sochu aur aap sabhi sajjan purush aur mahila kah sakte ho ki at last main bhi sharmane laga.....
"mujhe kuchh samajh nahi aa raha ki kya jawab du..."dil se haste-muskurate aur chehre se gambhir hote hue main bola....
"isme kahna kya hai,jo sach hai wo kah do..."
"Sach...."(BC aaj maloom chala ki sach meetha bhi hota hai,warna log to sach ko kadwa bol-bol kar sach ki maa-bahan karte hai...")
"tumhe dekhkar nahi lagta ki tum mujhse pyar karte ho..."ab Esha serious hote hue boli...
"maa kasam ,bahut pyar karta hoon...yakin na ho....amm yakin na ho to......"(koyi dialogue kyun nahi sujh raha )
"yakin dilane ki jaroorat nahi,mujhe pata hai...."
"ok...ab chal,Chhatrapal ke paas chalte hai...anchoring to hum dono hee karenge,phhir chahe mujhe baki group walo ka khoon hee kyun na karna pade...let's go baby "
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raaste bhar main Esha ke saamne kuchh bhi ant-shant bakta raha aur hum dono haste-khilkhilate hue Auditorium pahuche,jaha Chhatrapal besabri se humara intezaar nahi kar raha tha
"tum dono..."hume dekhte hee chhatrapal bola... "tu idharich ruk,apun abhich aaya..."
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"good morning sir, "(teri *** ki chut) "good morning"
"sir,maine suna ki farewell me anchoring ke liye aap candidate dhoondh rahe hai..."
"galat suna hai...jinhone golden jubilee me perform kiya tha unme se best four ko maine select kar liya hai...."
"lekin us time to main nahi tha aur best main hoon, yakin na ho to audition karwa lo abhi..." "really ,tumhe lagta hai ki mujhe iski jaroorat hai....mujhe aur bhi bahut se kam hai..."
"kya sir, ek chance to do..."
"sir ji,chance to aapne khud miss kiya tha..."
"phhir bhi ek baar....."aakhiri baar puchhate hue maine kaha...
"ok...abhi audition le lete hai...tum agle 5 minute me apna dimag dauda kar aisi 5 line stage me bolo jise sunkar main andar se hil jaun..."
"5 line ? " "haan..."
"don't worry sir, 5 se kam me hee hila dunga...."bolkar main stage ki taraf badha....
maine mic hath me liya aur upar ki taraf dekhkar yaad karne laga ki ab kya bolu,jisase ki in sabki gand fat jaye...5 minute baad main bola...
"Mark Twain ji ne ek baar kaha tha ki ek insaan ki zindagi me sirf do din sabse jyada mahatvapurn hote hai, pahla din wo jab aap paida hote hai aur dusara din wo jab aap ye jaan jate hai ki aap paida kyun hue aur aaj meri zindagi ka wahi dusara mahatvapurn din hai, maine jaan liya ki main paida kyun hua...main anchoring karne ke liye sirf aur sirf anchoring karne ke liye paida hua hoon...."saaf jhooth bolte hue maine kaha....
waha mauzood sabhi students ko ,waha mauzood Chhatrapal tak ko bhi maloom tha ki main saaf jhooth bol raha hoon ,lekin phhir bhi un sabne taaliya bajayi....kyunki hum sab hamesha achchha sunna chahte hai ,phhir chahe wo sach ho ya jhooth ,iski parvaah kisko hai aur waise bhi english me ek kahawat hai ki 'good mind ,good find' matlab ki jo khud achchha hai ,uske liye sabkuch achchha hai....
"excellent...kal main tumko class me bata dunga ki ,maine kya decide kiya hai...ab tum jao..."Chhatrapal ne kaha
Update-213 :
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Overdose kisi bhi chiz ka thik nahi hota aur khushi ka overdose to bilkul bhi nahi , ya phhir Ramchandra Shukla ke shabdo me kahe to ati kisi bhi chiz ki hanikarak hoti hai.
"kya baat hai beta ,aaj itni bhayankar party de raha hai...itna kharcha to tune apne birthday me bhi nahi kiya tha...."Saurabh ne puchha....
"aaj main bahut khush hoon,itna khush ki dil kar raha Arun ko aaj lund chusa hee doon...kabse mere lund ki farmaish kar raha hai...."
"achchha beta to tere paas lund bhi hai...."daru ka glass hath me lekar Arun dagmagate hue khada hua... "ek saal pahle bathroom me jo chusaya tha bhool gaya kya aur tu ja kidhar raha hai..."
"main moot ke aata hoon...."
"to bose dk ,glass le jaane ki kya jaroorat hai, yadi glass foota na to....to...kuchh nahi"achanak se apne tevar badalte hue maine kaha,kyunki Arun glass ko farsh me patakne hee wala tha,main aage bola"to kuchh nahi, are pagle tu pyar hai mera...."
"mujhe dar hai ki yadi main apne hisse ki madira yaha chhod kar gaya to tum log uska pan kar loge...main aata hoon ,do minute me...".
"tujhe kya lagta hai,wapas aayega ye bathroom se ,ya main iske peechhe jaun..."ghadi me time dekhte hue Saurabh bola..
"tu kyun itni parvaah kar raha hai be gay aur tu itni der se ghadi me kyun dekh raha hai,jabki teri ghadi to ek saal se band hai...."
"wo to main feeling le raha hoon..."
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Aaj humari daru party me hamesha ki tarah Rajshri Pandey bhi shamil hua tha, lekin ek member naya tha.uska naam Umesh tha aur ye wahi ladka tha,jo subah seniors ke mauke-bemauke ragging ki vajah se pareshan hokar hostel chhodne ki baat kar raha tha....
"Arman bhai, ye behan ka lawda kurre apne aapko Newton,Einstein ki aaulad samajhta hai...jab bhi kuchh puchho to bol deta hai ki'aap physics ke khilaf nahi ja sakte aur phhir bhi puchho to bolta hai ki 'ab aap mere khilaf nahi ja sakte...isliye aap class se dafa ho jayiye' BC ne mujhe first year me bahut choda hai...iski maa ka,chalo isko maar ke aate hai..."
"na beta na, aisi galti kabhi na kariyo,...warna Aggregate ke liye tarsa denge ye log aur ab to college bhi autonomous hone wala hai, aisi gand marenge teri ki zindagi bhar pichhwada dard karega..."
"are Aggregate hee to bigad diye BC ne...lab me bhi number kata, Test me bhi choda....upar se MC ka subject bhi pura theory wala tha aur theory dekh kar mujhe to pahle hee cancer ki beemari ho jati hai..." "abey ab to nahi padhata na wo, phhir kahe itni tension le raha hai...do saal to jhel hee liye tune ab do saal aur jhel le...aur jis din hath me certificate aa jaye us din Kurre ka collar pakad kar do tamacha marna aur bolna ki'kyun be lawde ,bahut uchak raha tha first year me...beta mujhe zindagi bhar bahar kisi bhi
desh me,kisi bhi shahar me,kisi bhi gali me mat dikhna warna jaha dikhega wahi chodunga aur aaj ke baad yadi tu physics ke khilaf gaya to teri *** chod dunga'....aisich bolne ka usko final year complete hone ke baad...main to yahi karunga aur waise bhi theory subject kya hai yar...kuchh bhi likho ,kuchh bhi number pao...."
"kaise kuchh bhi likho ,kuchh bhi number pao...maine to Mukesh ji ka 'Mere Mehboob kayamat hogi' wala gana pichhale saal ye sochkar chipkaya tha ki BC Kurre khush ho jayega lekin lawde ne us answer ko to kata hee ,sath me baki answer ko bhi ,jo ki sahi the...unko kaat diya..."
"ab chutiya jaise harqat karoge to aisa hee hoga....theory subject me kya rakha hai, bas jis unit ka question hai uske 4-5 familier words yaad kar lo aur ek-do defination aur phhir jakar likh maro...Pandey jakar bathroom me dekh to Arun kaha gaya..."
Pandey ji uthe aur bina ek pal ganwaye bathroom ki taraf chal diye aur idhar maine pravachan jaari rakha..
"ab itni mehnat kaun kare Arman bhai..."
"waah beta,ye to wahi baat ho gayi ki'swarg to sabhi chahte hai,lekin marna koyi nahi chahta',jhat ke baal kuchh na likhne se achchha kuchh likhna hee sahi hai aur jab kuchh likh hee rahe ho to kuchh achchha hee likh do..."
"thik hai phhir,kal wala test bhi maha-theory subject ka hai,usi par try karta hoon...lekin aapko lagta hai ki ye kaam karega..."
"saat semester tujhe kya lagta hai maine padhkar pass kiye hai ,sab aise hee langar me nikal gaye..don't worry ye kaam karega,bahut badhiya karega....dekho beta, aisa hai ki teacher tumko number dena chahta hai,ye maankar chalo.. lekin badle me teacher ko tum khali copy dete ho ya badhiya writing se likhi hui copy,ye tumpar depend karta hai...chal ab pair chhu mere ,sale free ki tips le raha "bolkar maine ek peg aur mara....
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"jyada gyan mat chod aur chal us lawde Mahant ko markar aate hai, sale ne bathroom me dhakka de diya mujhe..."room ke andar Pandey ji ke kandhe ke sahare aate hue Arun bola...
"Mahant ye to wahi hai,jiski main subah baat kar raha tha..."Arun ke muh se Mahant ka naam sunte hee Umesh fatak se bola...
"ye BC hai kaun,jo itna udd raha hai...iski maa ka, chalo be, isko thik karke aate hai....Pandey tu Arun ko lekar peechhe-peechhe aa ,main aur Saurabh hero ki tarah aage jayenge...mera goggle nikalo be..." Rajshri Pandey ne Arun ko sambhala aur Saurabh ne teen hockey stick, jo ki humne dusaro ke room se churaya tha...use bahar nikala...
"teen kisliye...Pandey ko mat dena...warna maine senior ko junior ke hatho pelwa diya...ye sochkar hostel ke ladke mere khilaf ho sakte hai..."
"extra hockey stick Pandey ji ke liye nahi balki ,Umesh ke liye hai...Umesh towel lapet le muh me aur waha ragging ki baat bilkul mat karna...kuchh bolna nahi sirf marna..."
Umesh ne haan me apna sar hilaya aur humlog Mahant ke room me pahuche...uske room ka darwaja khula hua tha aur light band karke wo sab kharrate bhar rahe the....maine light on ki aur Mahant ka bed kaun sa hai uski probability lagakar chadar taan ke so rahe ek ladke ke pair me hocky stick se mara aur bola...
"BCO ,maa-baap ne yaha padhayi karne bheja hai ya sone ke liye... tu yaha so raha hai,
waha tera baap ro raha hai...uth "
"kaun hai be MC,..."dard aur gusse ke bhayankar combo ke sath chadar taankar so raha wo ladka utha...lekin wo ladka Mahant nahi tha,balki uska room partner aur Aradhna ka door ka bhai Kaliya tha.... "sorry yar, pata nahi mera andaza kaise galat ho gaya...Probability to mere se jyada achchhi pure college me kisi se nahi banti thi...koyi baat nahi sorry..."
"ye kya chutiyapa laga rakha hai BC..."apne jangh sahlate hue ,kaliya mujhepar cheekha...
"aankh dikhata hai madarjaat..."dusara war maine uske chhati me kiya aur Kaliya wahi flat ho gaya...tab tak uske room ke baki ke do ladke bhi jaag chuke the...jisme se ek Mahant tha aur dusara pata nahi kaun chutiya tha....
"Saurabh ,is kallu ko check kar ki zinda hai ya mar gaya...." "zinda hai aur ro raha hai..."
"koyi baat nahi...wapas mission me aao..."bolkar main Mahant ke paas gaya.."kya hai bhai...bahut hawa me udd raha aajkal,zameen me laun kya...."
"baat kya kar raha hai,maar bahinchod ko..."kahte hue Saurabh ne Mahant ke seene me ek laat jama diya...
Mahant abhi uthkar baitha hee tha aur Saurabh ke yun laat marne se BC bed ke dusari ore ulat gaya....iske baad main koyi dialogue soch raha tha ki towel lapete Umesh peechhe se saamne aaya aur bed ke dusari taraf ,jaha Mahant gira pada tha...uspar danadan hocky stick barsane laga...lawda hume to marne ka mauka hee nahi mila....
"us lawde ko rok, warna kahi Mahant upar ki ticket na kata le..."Saurabh ko dekhkar main chillaya. Saurabh ne Umesh ko Mahant se door kiya aur room ke bahar jaane ke liye kaha...
"kyun be,ab bol Arun ko dhakka kyun diya tha...jyada dam aa gaya hai ya bhool gaya hai ki main kaun hoon..."
Zameen par pada Mahant meri taraf dekhkar lambi-lambi saanse bhar raha tha lekin kuchh bol nahi pa raha tha....
"kya hua be, marne wala hai kya..."
"kaha dhakka diya maine..."khaste hue Mahant thodi der baad bola"aaj subah se beemar hoon, din bhar se room se nikla bhi nahi hoon..."
"haaaiiinnn....Phhir Arun ko dhakka kisne diya..."
"ek minute...."ladkhadati jubaan me peechhe se Arun bola"mujhe lagta hai mujhe Mahant ne dhakka nahi diya tha...wo koyi dusara ladka tha shayad,lekin yaad nahi kaun tha...."
"abey akhand chutiye...to phhir faltu me kyun pelwa diya isko...ab chalo lawda yaha se....Saurabh tu mere sath chal aur tu , Pandey Arun ko girakar Mahant ko bistar par wapas lita de.., good night guys,sweet dream...halanki wo sweet dream ab tumhe aane nahi wali..."
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Mahant ke room se nikalkar main wapas room me aaya, ek to waise hee daru ka kuchh khas nasha nahi tha upar se jo tha,wo Arun ke is chutiyape ne bhaga diya tha aur tab mujhe yaad aaya ki Esha mujhse pat chuki hai aur mujhe ab ek fadu lover banna hai...lekin kaise ye mujhe nahi pata tha...bole to main is mamle me bilkul virgin tha....waise maine bahut suna tha ki lover boy kya-kya karte hai...jaise ki subah,dopahar,shaam,raat ko good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good night bolna...din bhar mobile par chipke rahna aur janu-janu kahkar ek-dusare ko maha-bore karna aur jab phhir bhi dil na bhare to mobile ko kiss karna....ab ye sab to mujhse hone se raha ,isliye maine Google Maharaj ki help lene ka socha aur mobile ka browser kholkar Google maharaj ke darbaar me gaya aur type kiya'How to be A Good Lover '
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