27-03-2019, 01:28 AM
Chapter-41:Unexpected Incidents.
Update-161
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Yaha aane se pahle hum sabne ye soch rakha tha ki hum log kisi aadi manav ki tarah sangharsh karenge aur apna pet bharne ke liye khud khana banayenge....lekin 'Sky Vision' ke karyakram ke baad humare warden ne hume ye kahkar surprise diya ki humare khane ka intezaam, yaha ki management ke dwara already kiya ja chuka hai....jisme humare college ke students to shamil honge hee sath me waha camping ka lutf utha rahe MBBS college ke students bhi invited the...aur aakhir ho bhi kyun na, humari tarah paise to unhone bhi diye the.
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"are yadi wo Angelina joulie hai to hum hai yaha ke Brad Pitt, aakhir chudegi to humi se..."Arun sheese me apne baal thik karte hue bola...
"tu beta ,hamesha apni aukat se unchi udan hee marne ki sochta hai aur phhir baad me...."
"isi udaan me to maja hai pagle..."beech me hee Arun bol pada"warna apni aukat me to tujh jaise middle class ke log bhi udd lete hai, apun thoda special hai..."
"jao beta, jab wo chodegi to mere hee paas aaoge..."badbadate hue main camp se bahar nikla aur mere bahar nikalne ke baad meri toli bhi bahar nikli....
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"nikal aaye rajkumaro...ab idhar bhi aa jao..."hum bahar nikle hee the ki humare jalankhor warden ne tana marte hue kaha....
"Arman, sale ki shakal dekh...ekdum gadhe ki gand jaisi hai...BC meri khubsurati se jalta hai..."apni aadat anusar Arun ne dheemi aawaz me warden ko salami thoki.
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Warden is samay bhi thik usi bade se patthar par khada tha,jaha aaj subah khade hokar instruction de raha tha....warden ke samne humare college ki puri bheed jama thi aur jab hum 6 log us bheed me shamil hue to warden jo ki apne dono hath shaktiman style me apne kamar me rakha hua tha, wo neeche kuda.....
"Arman ji ,aap kaha hai...apne khubsurat noorani chehre ka deedar to hum sabko karayiye,aapse kuchh baat karni hai..."Warden bade hee cool andaj me bola....
aisa bolte waqt wo khud ko bahut smart samajh raha tha lekin sala ek number ka chodu lag raha tha aur kuchh nahi...sala gadhe ki gand
"idhar hoon main...Sir"apna hath khada karte hue main bola...
"aaj ki report ke mutabiq tumne ,samne wale college ke kuchh ladko se hatha-payi ki aur unhe goli maar dene ki dhamki bhi di...."
"kaha sir...main to pure din bukhar se tadap raha tha,yakin na ho to Arun aur Pandey ji se puchh lo..."
"tum pahle samne aakar apna face dikhao ,baad me main kisi aur se kuchh puchhunga...."
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Maine apna sar neeche jhukaya aur aankhe udas karke warden ki taraf badha....
"tum neeche khana khane nahi jaoge...tumhare dost tumhara khana pack karwa ke le aayenge..." "meri un sabse aaj subah hee ladayi ho gayi hai,phhir wo mere liye itna kyun karenge aur main sach me neeche nahi gaya tha..."
"phhir MBBS walo ne tumhara name kyun liya...."
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Warden ke is sawal par main ek dialogur marne ja hee raha tha ki BKL Divya ,beech me kud padi... "jhooth bolta hai ye sir, maine ise dopahar ko pull par dekha tha yakin na aaye to Esha se puchh lo aur Megha se bhi...."
"Divya sach kah rahi hai kya..."kadak aawaz ke sath warden ne Esha aur Megha se sawal kiya aur dono ne haan me apni gardan hila di....
"ab bolo Arman..."apni jeet par bhayankar hansi aur aankho me vijayi chamak liye warden meri taraf muda"tumne to kaha tha ki ,tum apne camp se bahar hee nahi nikle the...phhir pull par in teeno ne tumhe kaise dekha...."
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Divya ke dwara mere khilaf bolna mujhe raas nahi aaya aur dil kiya ki apna juta utar kar seedhe uske muh par de maru ya uske sar ke baal ko pakad kar jor-jor se zameen par de maru....lekin tabhi mere 1400 gm ke brain ne apni taqat dikhayi aur Divya ko maine usi ke dwara feke hue jaal me fansate hue kaha....
"main manta hoon ki main camp se nikalkar pull ki taraf gaya tha lekin yaha sawal ye khada hota hai ki Divya waha kya kar rahi thi,jabki...aapne kisi bhi student ko pull ki taraf jane se saaf mana kiya tha.... "iske baad maine warden se dheeme lafzo me kaha,jisase aage ki vartalap sirf hum dono hee sun sake...main bola"Are sir, hum log to phhir bhi ladke hai..humara kya hoga,lekin ladkiyo ka is tarah se ghoomna thik baat nahi, kahi kuchh uch-neech ho jati to aap kisi ko muh dikhane ke layak nahi rahte....aapki naukari to hath se jati hee ,sath me in ladkiyo ke maa-baap aap par laparwahi ka case bhi karte..."
"hmm..."
"Sir hum log to phhir bhi aapke hostel me rahte hai,hume maloom hai ki aapki ijjat ko kaise bachana hai lekin in ladkiyo ki kya majal jo aapke...aapke huqum ki avahelna kare,..ye to sarasar aapke gaal par tamacha jada hai in laundiyo ne...sorry mera matlab in ladkiyo ne main to kahta hoon ki abhich us maa di ladali ko punishment do..."
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"tum teeno pull par kya kar rahi thi..."aankho me angare liye hue Warden ne Divya ki taraf dekha aur Divya ne meri taraf...sali mujhe aise gusse se dekh rahi thi,jaise main uske tukdo par jeeta hoon. Uski is harkat se mera khoon bhi khaul utha....
"aankh neeche kar le aur apne baap ka rutba kisi aur par jhadna warna third semester ki kahani dobara dohrane me mujhe zara sa bhi waqt nahi lagega aur sir ko ye bata ki tu pull par kisase milne gayi thi..." "tu college pahuch tab tujhe main apni power dikhati hoon..."
"ok, baby...lekin pahle ye bata ki tu kya karwane pull ke us paar gayi thi...jabki Sir ne saaf mana kiya tha ki koyi us taraf nahi jayega..."
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Jaha kuchh der pahle sare students mand-mand muskan ke sath meri aur warden ke beech ki baat-chit ka maja loot rahe the,wahi ab mahol gadbada gaya tha...ek pal me sara maja ab hairani se bhara pada tha.waha beet raha har ek pal, meri aur Divya ke beech ho rahi har baat-chit...waha maujood sabhi ke dilo par ek dar paida kar rahi thi....Divya shant nahi ho rahi thi aur main to shant hone se raha....
"main kuchh bhi karne gayi thi ,tujhe usase kya....tu kya karne gaya tha..."
"daru peene gaya tha ,ab bol..."jab mera matha thanka to main seedhe aar-paar ki ladayi par utar aaya"ise samjha lo re koyi,warna yahi par laal kar dunga...phhir jakar chahe apne baap ko batana ya phhir apne bagal wali ke baap ko...."
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Is garma-garmi ke dauran Divya apna sara aapa kho chuki thi aur yahi haal mera bhi tha,...main yadi chahta to is situation ko bahut achchhi tarah se sambhal sakta tha
Lekin gussa mujhpar bhi sawar tha aur khoon mera bhi khaul raha tha....mujhe pakka yakin hai ki yadi mere dosto ne mujhe aur Divya ke saheliyo ne use nahi roka hota to mere hath wo bahut puri tarah maar khati....lekin aisa ho nahi paya aur mere dost mujhe turant waha se pakad kar door le aaye.... "*** chod dunga uski, BC samajhti kya hai khud ko...apne baap ke dam par uchak rahi hai...jyada dimag kharab hua to is baar uske bhi baap ko marunga...phhir chahe mera murder hee kyun na ho jaye..."Arun aur Saurabh ko door dhakel kar main ladkiyo ke us jhund ki taraf badha ,jis jhund ke beech me Divya thi....
"bahar nikal sali..."
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Warden ko samne dekhkar main rook gaya aur aas-paas dekha to paya ki na sirf mere college wale,balki MBBS college ke bhi students , is hungame se waha aa chuke the....aur tab jakar mujhe hosh aaya.
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Mere dost mujhe pakad kar camp ke andar laye.jiske baad Girls hostel ki caretaker aur humare warden ne mujhe khoob sunaya aur mere ghar ka number manga....Maine apne ghar ka number dene se saaf mana kar diya jiske baad warden ne mujhe bahut sari dhamkiya di aur punishment ke taur par neeche
"kya hua..."
"kuchh nahi...lawda kya chodupana kiya hai aaj tum dono ne...zindagi bhar yaad rahega " "MC,bhookh lagi hai...kuchh jugad hai kya."un sabki taraf dekhkar maine puchha...
"beta tere chakkar me ,hume bhi neeche nahi jane diya gaya..."
"aisa kyun..."
"warden bola ki ,sabke liye punishment hai...aur to aur usne Divya,Esha aur Megha ko bhi neeche nahi jane diya..."
"are "ekdum se khada hote hue main bola"Esha ko patane ka ek solid idea aayela hai beedu...chal jaldi..."
"kaha..."
"neeche...khana khakar aate hai..."
"iske pahle main kya aliens ki language me bola kya ki...warden ne neeche jane ke liye mana kiya hai..." "warden ke maa ki fill in the blanks....bhagkar chalte "
Update-162
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'Girl' jise hindi me ladki ,Gujrati me 'chhokari' ,marathi me 'mulagi' aur hum jaise naujwan 'item' ya 'maal ' kahte hai...ye badi hee kash -makash paida karne wali prajati hai...ladkiya uljhan me bahut dalti hai...jaise kisi ladki ne ek-do baar kisi ladke ko dekh kya liya banda zindagi bhar isi uljhan me rahta hai ki wo mujhe line de rahi thi ya sirf aise hee maje loot rahi thi...ladkiya itna uljhan paida karti hai ki ek-do baar bhagwan bhi confusion ho jata hoga ki ise neeche bheju ya yahi apne paas rakh loon
Aur hum jaise laundo ka to puchho hee mat...jis bande ne ek ladki kya pata li sala behave aise karta hai jaise puri duniya jeet li ho. Uska khana-peena, nahana-dhona ,sab kuchh ek ladki ke chakkar me shutdown ho jata hai.....Ab humi log ko dekh lo...main yaha neeche isliye nahi aaya tha ki mujhe bhookh lagi thi balki isliye taki main ladkiya taad saku....mere dost jo neeche aate samay har-kadam mujhe warden ka dar de rahe the...wo bhi is samay mere sath neeche isliye the taki wo ladkiyo ko dekh sake. Bole to 'Nayandarshan' ya 'nayansukh'.
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"main soch raha tha ki un teeno ke liye bhi khana vagerah pack kar ke le jate hai..."Ek plate uthate hue maine kaha aur pelam-pel salaad plate me bhar liya.
"kaun teeno..."aage-peechhe najar markar Saurabh ne bhi pelam-pel salaad bhar liya aur bola"hum sab to hai yaha...."
"abey,hum log yadi mar rahe ho aur isase ek glass pani ki fariyad kare ,tab bhi ye hume ek glass pani lakar nahi dega aur bolega ki'lawde,upar jakar direct jalpaan karna'....aisa launda hai ye..."mere aur Saurabh ki tarah Arun ne bhi relam-pel salaad apni plate me bhara aur kaha"ye to un teeno ke liye hai..jinhe warden ne neeche aane ke liye mana kiya hai..."
"wo "apne dimag par jor dalte hue Saurabh ne puchha"kahi tu,Divya...Esha aur Megha ki baat to nahi kar raha..."
"ekdum sahi jawab..."
"sach "meri taraf aankhe faad-faad kar dekhte hue Saurabh ne chammach uthaya aur apne plate me rakhte hue bola"tu ladkiyo ke samne kab se haar manne laga,ab ye mat bol dena ki tujhe apni galti ka ahsaas ho gaya hai aur tu ab use sorry bolne ja raha hai...."
"are lawde,sorry to humne tab bhi nahi bola jab galti humari thi...to ab kya bolunga..."
"ye...yehi junoon ant tak banaye rakhna aur chahe jo ho jaye lund ko chut ke samne jhukne mat dena kyunki lund kat sakta hai lekin jhuk nahi sakta "
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"yes, aur tu hee wo launda hai jo teeno ke liye dinner pack "
"ghanta,is puri bheed me tujhe ek akela main hee dikha jo ye kaam karunga...beta ye bade shahar ki badi party hai na ki tere gaanv ki shadi ,jaha pure khandan ke liye khana pack karwa liya jayega...yaha to sala ye bhi saaf nahi hai ki mujhe khana milega ya nahi...aur ek baat puchhu tum teeno ne ye janwaro ki tarah salaad kyun bhar liya hai..."
"beta, wo MBBS wale bhukkhado ki bheed dekh aur us bheed ko dekhkar mera 1400 gm ka dimag kahta hai ki achhi tarah se plate bharne me kam se kam 10-15 minute to lagenge hee..."
"toh.."
"to tab tak hum log salaad khakar time paas karenge..."
"sahi hai..."kahte hue Sulabh ne bhi apni plate me pelam-pel salaad bhar liya.
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jab sab mere khana pack karwane wale plan se sahmat ho gaye to ek nayi samasya paida hui aur wo samasya ye thi ki un teeno ke liye dinner kaun pack karwayega...kyunki aisi party ,jaha itne sare log ho waha apne hath me plastic lekar khade rahna ,matlab apni reputation ko khule bazar me kaudiyo ke daam me bechna tha aur ye kaam sirf ek shaks kar sakta tha aur wo the humare Rajshri Product ke Brand ambassador Shri-Shri 1008 Pandey ji.....
"kya Arman bhai...apun ki bhi koyi ijjat hai...kahe ko apun ki aisi-taisi karne par tule ho..." "ye kaam kar de ,10 Rajshri meri taraf se free..."
"rahne do,maine Rajshri khana chhod diya..."
phhir ek packet gudang-garam cigarette..."
"apun cigarette bhi chhod dega Arman bhai...par apun ki langot mat utaro..." "chal,phhir ek botal pavva...ab "
"daru bhi chhod dunga main aaj se..."
"dil pe mat le...."Rajshri Pandey ka peeth thapthapate hue maine apne jeb se kayi sari plastics nikal kar jaldi se uske jeb me daal di aur bola"muh me le.."
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Rajshri ko uska kaam saunp kar humne use khud se door kiya aur salaad khate-khate apni plate bharne lage....
"main kofta aur bhindi lekar abhi aaya...."bolkar Saurabh waha se aage badh gaya aur Naveen,Sulabh pahle hee sath chhod chuke the...
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"aaj dekha Divya kaise udd rahi thi ,achchhe se baithaya hai usko,ab kuchh din mere samne apni jubaan kholne se pahle 3 lakh kilometer/Sec. Ki speed se sochegi ki kuchh bolu ya nahi..."
"ab tu apni tareef karna shuru mat ho jana...."
"abey nahi..main to tujhse ye kahna chahta hoon ki in ladkiyo me dimag ki jagah gobar bhara pada hai..kuchh sochati-samajhti nahi bas kau-kau chillati rahti hai...Divya ko hee dekh le, use kya jaroorat thi beech me bolne ki ? Lekin nahi use to mujhse panga lena tha ,kar diya na nanga...ab tu us MBBS wali ko hee le le, do baar mujhe ullu kya banaya ,khud ko Arman se badi samajhni lagi...use bhi dhang se batti diya aur aisa batti diya hai ki zindagi bhar 'Arman' shabd sunkar uske dimag ki batti gul ho jayegi..."
"kafi galatfahmi paal rakhi hai tumne apne andar...zameen par rahna seekho warna ek pal aisa aayega jab patal ke bhi nahi rahoge..."ek sexy aawaz ne mera dhyan apni taraf aakarshit kiya aur jab meri aankhe us sexy aawaz ki malkin par padi to aankhe jaisi us par jam kar rah gayi...
"Angelina...ye itna sab kuchh ho jane ke baad bhi mujhse muskura kar baat kar rahi...jaroor ye kisi plan ke sath aayi hogi,nikal le beta..."maine khud se kaha aur ek professional muskan apne hontho par le aaya...jabki Angelina ko dekhte hee main thoda ghabra gaya tha kyunki wo is samay ek ghayal sherni ki tarah thi...jo bas us ek mauke ki talaash me thi jiske karan wo mujhe,hum dono ke beech chal rahe mind- game me parajit kar sake...is samay main Angelina darling se ulajhna nahi chahta tha...isliye waha se bhag jana hee behtar samjha...
Jung ke maidan me bina lade bhagne ka mera apna ek alag hee style hai,jo hamesha hee kargar sabit hota hai aur wo style ye hai"dar ke karan jung ke maidan ko bhi is tarah chhodo ki samne wale ko ye mahsoos ho ki aap waha se bhag kar uspar bahut bada ahsaan kar rahe ho...' iske do fayde hai-pahle ye ki is tarah se aapki ijjat bhi baj jati hai aur dusara ye ki samne wali ki ijjat thuk jati hai.....
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"meet my friend..."ek ladke ke kamar par hath rakhkar Angelina boli"iska name..."
"ye koyi Johnny depp ya Robert downey jr. hai kya,jo main isase milu....jao pahle mujhse milne ka appointment mere secretary se lekar aao..."waha se khisakte hue maine kaha"chal be Arun, kofte ke counter par bheed kam ho gayi hai.."
Update-163 :
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Angelina darling se peechha chhudakar hum log ek taraf khade ho gaye aur apne masoom se pet ko bharne lage...main aur mere dost warden ke mana karne ke bawjood neeche aa gaye hai,iski khabar kisi ne warden ko de di aur hath me khane ki plate liye warden humare paas aaya....
"tum logo ko mana kiya tha yaha aane ke liye..."apne daant chabakar usne hum sabko batti di aur samne se gujarne wale ek shaks ko bade hee shaleenta se bola"hello, aap kaise hai..."
Jab wo shaks gujar gaya to warden phhir humari taraf muda aur hume galiya bakna shuru kar diya...wo bhi bade pyar aur dular se, kyunki har waqt-bewaqt koyi na koyi waha se gujarta jiske karan warden hum par apna gala nahi phhad pa raha tha...ek taraf warden hume hans-hans kar batti de raha tha to wahi hum log hans-hans kar batti le rahe the......
"tum log upar milo ,phhir batata hoon tumhe.."warden ne ek baar phhir apna daant chabaya lekin dusare pal samne se gujar rahi ek aurat ko dekhkar muskurate hue bola"kaisi hai aap,dinner ho gaya aapka..."
"yes...yes....yes"teen baar 'yes' bolkar wo aurat chalti bani aur hum log bhi mauka dekhkar usi waqt waha se khisak liye....
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"Pandey ji ko Gutkhe ka packet do koyi,inhone humara kaam jo kiya hai..."Pahadi par upar chadhte hue maine kaha...
"rahne do Arman bhai, aaj sabke samne meri ijjat me jitne hole hue hai na ,uske baad Gutkha,daru sab kuchh bhool sa gaya hoon...dimag me baar-baar bas wahi scene aa jata hai jab waha maujood log mujhpar hans rahe the..."
"mard ban be lawde "Pandey ji ki peeth jor-jor se thapthapate hue Saurabh bola"name bata unka jinhone tujhpar hansa...abhi salo ka muh unke gand me ghusa kar aata hoon..."
"maloom nahi ,kaun-kaun hans raha tha...main to bas apna sar jhukaye khada tha waha..."
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"Arman tu hamesha bolta rahta hai ki 'i love daru more than' " "GIRLS..."Arun ke pahle hee maine apna dialogue complete kiya...
"ek baar ye bol ki tu, daru ko mujhse jyada pyar karta hai..."
"isme kaun si badi problem hai...I love daru more than Gay-Arun..."aur isi ke sath hum sabhi hans pade,siway Arun ko chhodkar....
"ab yahi line Esha ke liye bol to..."usne aage kaha... "ab kya main din bhar sabke name japta rahu kya..."
"iski koyi jaroorat nahi bas tu ek baar ye bol de ki 'i love daru more than Esha'...bas baat khatm..." "isme kaun si badi baat hai,le abhi bol deta hoon..."Arun par haste hue maine bolna shuru kiya"i love daru more than......"
"more than..."jab main bolte-bolte chup ho gaya to Arun ne ek baar phhir se apni taang adayi... "more than...more than..."
"rahne de beta, bol chuka tu..."ek jor ka ghusa mere peeth me markar Arun ne kaha"tune dil tod diya mera aaj.sale mera name le sakta hai lekin uska name nahi le sakta...bas beta ,dekh li teri ye dosti...tujhe pata nahi ki tune mujhe aaj kitna dukhi kiya hai....dil kar raha hai ki yaha se neech kudkar apni jaan de doon,lekin phhir jo daru ka ek bumpher tere bag me rakha hai,use kaun piyega...ye sochkar nahi kud raha...baki dil to ekdum chhalli-chhalli ho gaya aaj..."
"oye nautanki, chup ho aur tu kya sochta hai ki main Esha ko daru se jyada pyar karta hoon...bilkul nahi, le abhi bole deta hoon,wo line jo tu sunna chahta hai..."kahte hue maine ek baar phhir se try kiya...lekin juban Esha ka name leti ,usase pahle hee atak gayi....meri favorite line ko Esha ka name lekar pura karne ke liye mera muh jaroor khulta lekin shabd nahi nikal rahe the......
"i love daru more tha E...More than Eeeeeeee......"barahawi baar koshish karte hue main bola lekin pichhali egraya baar ki tarah is baar bhi juban dhokha de gayi....
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"gand mara tu Arun..."frustation me main cheekha aur tej kadmo ke sath thoda aage badh gaya....
Pata nahi meri jubaan kyun ladkhada rahi thi...jabki main aisa kabil launda tha ,jise gale tak daru pilakar yadi hazar logo ke samne bhasad dene ke liye stage par khada kar diya jaye tab bhi ek shabd idhar se udhar na ho....
"o us billi se to main 100 % pyar karta hoon...."
College ke char salo me teesare saal mujhe ye maloom chala ki Esha se main sach me pyar karta hoon . "pata nahi sala dosti kab hogi, main use propose kab karunga aur kab wo meri girl friend banegi....jis speed ke sath main hoon ,uske hisab se to sala ye janam aur iske aage wala janam bhi kam pad jayega... "
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Camp me aane ke baad ye decide hua ki main aur Sulabh un teeno ke camp me jayenge aur dinner chhod kar aayenge....
"tu ja raha hai to ja,lekin meri ek baat apne gand me gath bandh ke rakh liyo ki bhoole se bhi un laundiyo ko sorry bola to alta-palta ke chodunga...."dhamki ke roop me Saurabh ne apni shart rakhi... "abey, meri shakal dekhkar tujhe kya lagta hai ki main use sorry bolunga...us Divya ki to shakal tak nahi dekhunga..."
"yahi jajba banaye rakhiyo beta ,bahut door tak jayega...itna door ki telescope se bhi tu nahi dikhega...ab mere pair chhukar aashirwad le aur chalta ban us 'R. Divya'ke camp ki taraf..."
"ye 'R. Divya' ka kya matlab"khane ke packet apne hath me pakadte hue Sulabh ne puchha... "wo main tujhe raste me samjha dunga,ab chal idhar se..."
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Apne camp se nikal kar main aur Sulabh , 'R.Divya ' ke camp ki taraf badhe aur is samay mere dimag me jo chal raha tha ,wo ye ki...un teeno ka muh kitna inch fatega ,jab wo log mujhe aur Sulabh ko apne camp ke andar dekhegi....
"kahi koyi heart attack se na mar jaye...."chalte waqt main badbadaya... "kaun mar raha hai Arman..."
"tu chup-chap chal na aage...ye baar-baar ungali karna jaroori hai kya...."
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Humare college ke lagbhag aadhe student aa chuke the jiska pata maine aadhe se adhik camp me se aati hui roshani se lagaya....'R.Divya' ke camp se bhi roshani aa rahi thi...unke camp se kuchh doori par jab main aur sulabh pahuche to main rook gaya...
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"kya hua Arman..."
"kuchh nahi..bas soch raha hoon ki wapas chalte hai..." "kyun..."
"abey pahli baat to ye ki hume aisa karte dekh jo ki hum dono abhi karne ja rahe hai...un teeno ko dil ka daura padega aur mujhe dar hai ki kahi koyi ludhak na jaye...."
"aur dusari baat kya hai..."
"dusari baat ye ki hum dono ki...sorry hum dono ki nahi, sirf meri...meri bejjati bhi hogi...."
"aur teesari baat..."hatho me khane ka packet liye Sulabh mujhe itne dhyan se sun raha tha ki uski pakad khane ke packets par kamjor ho gayi aur ek ke baad ek do-teen packet ,zameen par dhamake ke sath giri.....
"teesari baat ye ki, tu maha-bakchod hai aur Megha ke sapne dekhna chhod de...chutiya sala,Pandey ji ki mehnat ko bekar kar diya..."Sulabh ko khari-khoti sunate hue main bola"ab mera muh kya dekh raha hai,utha ke dekh ki kuchh salamat bhi hai ya sab khatm ho gaya..."
"bose dk chilla mat,warna yahi marunga...kasam ganga maiya ki " "majak kar raha tha pagle,tu to har baat dil pe le leta "
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Haste-khelte,ladte-jhagadte...main aur Sulabh aakhir 'R.Divya' ke camp ke samne pahuch hee gaye ,lekin ab sawal ye tha ki hum dono me se andar kaun jaye....kyunki Sulabh ki fat rahi thi aur main pahle andar nahi jana chahta tha aur dusare shabdo me kahe to meri bhi fat rahi thi...kyunki in ladkiyo ka kya bharosha,sali 'help-help' chillakar hume kahi fansa na de...
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"tu sale bahut sher-dil banta hai...tu hee ja pahle..."
"mujhe dekhkar wo Maa di ladli Divya sanak jayegi...aur lamba chauda bakheda kar degi..." "ek kaam karte hai ,dono sath chalte hai andar..."
"ye sahi rahega..."
Maine , Sulabh ka hath aise pakda jaise saat phhere lene ja raha hoon aur camp ki taraf badhte hue puchha...
"guess kar sakta hai kya ki wo teeno kya kar rahi hogi ,is waqt..." "pakka muth mar rahi hogi..."
ekin itna dam nahi ki in teen saal me use jakar teen shabd bol sake...aur mujhpar ungali uthane se pahle khud se puchh ki kya tu Esha se left side wala pyar karta hai ya nahi..."
"apna to 100 % pure hai,aaj confirm bhi ho gaya aur ab chal..."
.
Maine sar neeche karke camp ke andar pahle apna sar ghusaya aur agal bagal dekha....waha siway Esha ke aur koyi nahi tha aur Esha bhi dusari taraf apna face kiye hue baithi thi....
"abey ,Arman...teri billi kahi koyi jadu-tona to nahi karti ,kyunki jis position me wo apne baal khule karke baithi hai ,usase apun ko chudailo ki yaad aa rahi hai..."
"Bakchod ,wo video game khel rahi ,tu sale ladkiyo ki ijjat karna kab sikhega "khusfusate hue maine Sulabh se kaha aur Esha ko aawaz di lekin Esha pahle ke tarah hee isbar bhi baithi rahi....
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"Arman,main kya bolta hoon ki ab hume chalna chahiye...meri fat rahi hai...kahi kisi ne aise karte hue dekh liya to...bhari lafda ho jayega...."
"dar mat...is samay Esha ka baap bhi aa jaye to mujhe kuchh nahi bolega...mere paas back up plan hai..." "thik hai to tu yahi ruk main chala...waise bhi Megha yaha nahi hai..."
"Ruk be, warna tere baap ko call karke bata dunga ki tu unke mana karne ke bawjood idhar camping me aaya hai..."
Sulabh ko rok kar maine ek aur baar Esha ko dheere se aawaz diya lekin waha baj rahe sangit ki dhwani me mere muh se nikli dhwani ghul-mil gayi aur Esha par koyi prabhav nahi pada.... "Esha....billi..palat"thoda tej aawaz me maine kaha aur jaise hee Esha peechhe palti,Sulabh apna hath mere hath se chhudakar waha se ulte pair bhag gaya....sala darpok .
"Arman......."Mujhe dekhte hee Esha chauki aur turant hee uthkar mere paas aayi..."kya chahiye tumhe..."
"ek chummi..."maine socha ki aisa bol du,lekin phhir nahi bola aur apna sar na me hila diya..... "kuchh kahna hai.... "Esha ne dobara sawal kiya.
Maine haan me apna sar hilaya aur socha ki ye bol du'i love you more than daru...' lekin phhir himmat nahi hui....
"sorry bolne aaye hoge, i know..."
"i know, you know, don't know,who know...bahut confusion hai..."main bola"wo tum log neeche nahi gaye the khana khane...to mujhe fikra hone lagi ki kahi tum logo ka bhookh ke mare pet na kharab ho jaye,isliye tum teeno ke liye khana pack karwa ke laya hoon...lekin Sulabh ki meharbani se sare khane ka satyanash ho gaya..."
"kyaaaaaaaaa......."bolte hue Esha zameen me girte-girte bachi.
Shuru me socha ki mast kudkar Esha ko lapak loon lekin tabhi mere dimag ne kaha ki'na beta na...lafda ho sakta hai' aur maine phhir waisa kuchh bhi nahi kiya....
"mujhe to pahle se hee andaja tha ki iska kuchh yahi haal hoga....abhi isko heart attack bhi aayega "
Update-164 :
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"mujhe yakin nahi ho raha ki tum humare liye khana laye ho, thanks...lekin Divya aur Megha bhi chori- chori neeche gayi hai...."
"us R.Divya me itna talent aur himmat kaha se aa " "R.Divya ka matlab..."
"R.Divya ka matlab.....hmm...Respected Divya "Sulabh ke hahakar se jo khane ke packet bach gaye the unhe Esha ko pakdate hue maine man me socha"Chal ab i love you bol aur kiss kar "
"mujhe samajh nahi raha ki main tumse dinner loon ya rahne doon..."hatho ki taraf dekhte hue Esha boli....
"jyada mat soch...dimag par asar padta hai, bindas hokar khane ka phhir so jane ka bole to KPS " "KPS means Krishna public college..."
"ye le are humari dictionary me to IIT ka full form bhi ' Indian Institute of Technology' nahi hota to phhir KPS ka full form krishna Public college kaise hoga...KPS ka matlab hai khao,piyo aur so jao..." "ok..then KPS to you..."bolkar Esha aise khush hui jaise kitna bhari dialogue mar diya ho...
"to main chalta hoon..."(i love you )
"haan jao..."palat kar jate hue Esha boli, lekin kuchh door aage jane ke baad pata nahi usko kya hua ,jo wo ekdum se palti...uske tevar dekhkar main hairan pareshan ho gaya....
"apna khana apne sath le jao...mujhe koyi jaroorat nahi..."wahi se khane ki packets meri taraf fek kar Esha boli"aur dobara mujhse baat karne ki koshish mat karna yaha tak ki mere karib bhi mat bhatakna,..."
"teri maa ki isko kya hua...abhi to achchhe se baat kar rahi thi..."hazar volts current ke jhatke khate hue meri aankhe fat ki fati rah gayi thi aur muh kayi inch tak khul gaya tha....Esha ka aisa roop maine ab se pahle kabhi nahi dekha tha, use gusse me dekha tha lekin aisa kali maa wala roop pahli baar dekh raha tha.....dil aur dimag me kayi sawal liye maine usase puchha...
"kya hua..."
"apna ye ahsaan jo zameen par pada hai use uthao aur yaha se dafa ho jao..."
"are lekin ye to bata hua kya....tujhme ye zero to infinite wala parivartan kaise aur kyun aa
gaya..."bhadak main bhi sakta tha lekin Esha ka lihaaj karte hue khud par control karke rakha hua tha.... "ek baar me sunayi nahi deta kya...maine kaha na dafa ho jao yaha se..."
"dekh billi, mera body temerature mat badha...nahi to..."
"nahi to kya...tumne Gautam ke sath jo kya uske baad tum iski ummid rakhte ho ki main tumse sahi dhang se baat karungi...kuchh der pahle to main ek pal ke liye jaise sab kuchh bhool hee gayi thi,warna camp ke andar ghusne nahi deti.ab ye apna sada sa khana uthao aur chalte bano..."
"control kar be...gali mat dena isko..."jab tak main Esha ke camp me tha tab tak main har pal khud se yahi kahta raha aur ispar kamyab bhi hua....Esha ko yun mujh par bhadakta dekh mera dil kar raha tha ki apna collar upar karu, goggle aankh me chadha kar Esha par apni galiyo ki puri dictionary khali kar doon....
Lekin dikkat ye thi ki mera shirt without collar tha ,Goggle to ek din pahle hee kho chuka tha aur Esha ka chehra dekhkar meri galiyo ki dictionary khul hee nahi rahi thi....maine zameen par pade hue khane ke packet uthaye aur waha se jate hue Esha se bola...
"meri nahi to kam se kam is khane ki to ijjat ki hoti...khair koyi baat nahi, KPS"
.
Esha ke camp se nikal kar main apne camp ki taraf badha...mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha ki Esha mujhpar achanak itna bhadak kyun gayi ? Kyunki yadi use mujhpar bhadakna hee tha to shuru se hee bhadakti...shuru me pyar-mohabbat dikha kar baad me gali dena ye kaha ka vyavhar hai...in ladkiyo ko kabhi hum garib ladko ke Armano ki kadra hee nahi hoti.shuru me uske haav-bhav se aisa lag raha tha ki abhi mujhe ' i love you' bol degi...lekin sari ummido ko jala kar rakh kar diya
"to beta aur bhago uske peechhe,apun to college ke pahle din se hee usase door rahne ko bola tha lekin nahi...tumhare hee pichhwade me ungali ho rahi thi ab bhugto..."apni camp ki taraf jate hue main khud se lad raha tha....kabhi main ek pahlu se Esha ki burayi karta to kabhi dusare pahlu se uska bachav karta....
"are beta...dar mat,mard ban....ye Megha,Vibha..jaisi laundiya to baye hath ka khel hai...yadi damdari dikhani hai to Esha jaisi kisi khubsurat item ko set karne ka....warna zindagi bhar mutth marne ka...."
.
"BC, mujhe nahi lagta ki aise me main jyada din tak zinda rahunga...is Esha ka kuchh to karna padega..."badbadate hue main turant waha se peechhe kuda...
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Apne camp ki taraf badhte hue Maine ghadi me time dekha ,raat ke 11 baj rahe the....mere dil aur dimag ke world war ke baad main ab ek-do peg markar shanti se sona chahta tha....lekin jab camp ke andar pahucha to warden waha pahle se maujood tha...
"MC sala..."warden ko camp ke andar dekh maine dil hee dil me kaha....
"kaha gaye the Sir..."gadhe ke gand jaisa muh banate hue warden ne puchha... "peshab karne gaya tha..."
Warden ne mujhe apne bagal me baithaya aur 'beta-beta' bolkar bahut sari naseehat di aur waha se chala gaya......jab warden waha se khiska to maine socha ki ab chup-chap do peg markar so jata hoon
lekin mere khas dost Arun ke gand me illi thi....
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"tune aaj mera bahut dil dukhaya hai..."jab main apni aankhe band karke let gaya to mujhe hilate hue Arun ne kaha...
"ek kaam kar...tu gand mara aur dobara mujhe touch kiya to gand fad dalunga..." "tu ek baar bol de ki ' i love daru more than Esha'...bas baat khatm..."
"nahi bolunga...jo ukhad sakta hai ukhad le..."
"tere paas hai hee kya ukhadne ko...tu bol de aaj ,warna sone nahi dunga..."
"beta jitna bada tu nahi hai,usase bada to mera lund hai...aur ek baat bata, tu sale kahi Gay to nahi hai..."
"Arun chahe gay ho ya lesbian, pahle tu ye bata ki tujhe Esha jyada pyari hai ya hum log..."abki baar Saurabh ke pichhwade me illi hui aur wo bhi uthkar baith gaya....
.
iske baad to ek-ek karke sabke pichhwade me mano kisi ne lamba danda ghused diya , sale sab mujhe dhikkar rahe the yaha tak ki Rajshri Pandey bhi...
"Arman bhai...maine jo aaj aapke liye kiya wo saat janam me yadi Esha ne kabhi kar diya to maa kasam main Rajshri khana band kar dunga...."
"Arman ,pahle friend baad me girl firend..."Sulabh bhi naseehat dete hue bola...
"abey tum sabne bhang chadha rakhi hai kya,jo itni raat ko aisi behuda bakwas kar rahe ho...so jao.."bolte hue maine phhir chadar tani ,lekin Arun ne chadar chheenkar door zameen par fek diya... "beta ,bol de ki ' i love daru more than Esha' warna...tujhe camp se bahar nikal denge...sale wo laundiya humse badi hai kya...."
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Update-165
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Main apni chadar samet kar bahar ja hee raha tha ki Arun ne aawaz dekar wapas bula liya.... "rahne de, tu bhi kya yaad rakhega ki kis ladke se pala pada tha..."
"Main janta tha ki tu mujhe jane nahi dega...."
Wapas let kar maine chadar tani aur din bhar ki thakan ke karan mujhe neend jaldi aa gayi. main subah 8 baje tak apni thakan mitata raha aur hamesha ki tarah aaj bhi main sabse pahle utha.....
10 baje tak sare students kal ki tarah usi jagah jama hue,jaha kal hue the...aur humara warden kal ki tarah aaj bhi shaktiman style me apne dono hath apni kamar me rakhkar instruction de raha tha.....usne ek baar phhir sabse kaha ki, koyi bhi pull ke us paar nahi jayega aur na hee koyi dusare college walo se koyi vivad khada karega.....ek aur baat jo warden ne hume batayi wo ye ki aaj raat ko khana jaldi ho jayega ,jiske baad Engineer vs. Doctor ka debate hoga....
"jo-jo log participate karna chahte hai ,wo mam ke paas apna name de de..."Girls hostel ki warden ki taraf ishara karte hue usne kaha....
.
"Arman, ja tu bhi apna name de de..."Mere peechhe khade Arun ne mujhe ek laat marte hue kaha... "lawde, pant kahe ganda kar raha hai aur ye sab chutiyapa mere liye nahi hai...."
"bol na fat gayi...bahane kyun marta hai..." "meri kisliye fategi be..."
"teri isliye fategi kyunki sabke samne jakar bolne ka guts tere me nahi hai...tu bas hum log ke samne lambi-lambi chhod sakta hai..."
"abey jab 5000 logo ke samne ,jaha Media wale bhi the....unke samne mujhse kaha gaya tha ki main humare desh ke missile man se kuchh sawal karu...us waqt jaha har second me media wale saikado photo kheench rahe the...
us waqt jab news channels ke saikado camera laplapa rahe the...
Us samay jab main National Law Institute,Bhopal me apne college ko represent kar raha tha....
tab mere hath me mic diya gaya aur mujhse kaha gaya ki main Dr.Avul Pakir Jainulabdeen Abdul Kalam se koyi sawal puchhu....
jab us waqt meri jubaan nahi ladkhadayi to ab in tuchchh praniyo ke samne main hichkichaunga....ye teri galatfahmi hai balak "Arun se maine kaha....
Mujhe bolne se pahle hee maloom chal gaya tha ki mere bolne ke baad Arun mujhpar hasega aur ispar
yakin nahi karega....lekin sale ne yakin kar liya
"kha maa kasam ki tu sach me apne Abdul Kalam se face to face baat kiya hai..." "kiya hai to kiya hai...ab isme maa kasam khane ki kya jaroorat hai be..."
"kya sawal kiya tha tune...."
"baad me bataunga...."bolte hue main samne muda, jaha humara warden bade se patthar me khade hokar aaj raat hone wale debate ki kuchh jankari de raha tha....
.
jo students Engineer vs. Doctor ke khel me interested the unhone apna name de diya aur phhir sabhi pahadi se neeche utar kar left side jane lage...kal ki tarah aaj bhi warden ne suddh hindi me nirdesh diye the ki pull ki taraf koyi nahi jayega aur sham ko 4 baje tak...sab wapas laut aayenge.....
Kal MBBS college ke ladko ki vajah se hum log fishing ke baad rappelling me nahi ja paye the,jabki maja to usi me aata tha.isliye humari toli ne decide kiya ki aaj pahle rappelling me jayenge aur phhir warden
ke instruction ki dhajjiya udakar pull ke paar jayenge.....
.
Rappelling karke jab hum log upar se neeche utre to humare shirt ke collar apne aap khade ho gaye the...seena garv ke karan 3-4 inch apne aap chauda ho gaya tha...
"shuru me meri neeche utarne me gand fat rahi thi lekin ab bahut aasan lag raha hai...ab to main aankh band karke pahad ke upari hisse se neeche zameen par aa jaun..."raubdar aawaz ke sath Saurabh ne apni badayi ki....
.
"ab kidhar chalne ka plan hai...Arman bhai..."Rappelling wali jagah se jab hum log bahut aage aa gaye to pandey ji ne puchha...jabki jawab wo pahle se janta tha....
"nadiya ke paar..."
"warden ne dekh liya to..."Pandey ji ne apni shanka jahir ki..
"ek kaam kar tu mat ja...har baar nek kaam karne se pahle us manhoos ka naam lena jaroori hai kya..." "main to bas aise hee puchh raha tha ,Arman bhai...naraj kyun hote ho "
.
Humare sath-sath warden khud bhi shayad yah janta tha ki hum log uske mana karne ke bawjood aaj bhi pull ke us paar jayenge,isiliye usne aaj subah hum me se kisi ko nahi toka tha...hum log Pull par chadhe to Sulabh ne pull me idhar-udhar baithkar ras-leela kar rahe premi jodo ko pareshan karne ki farmaish ki...lekin Sulabh ke siwa hum me se kisi aur ka aisa karne ka bilkul bhi man nahi tha,isliye humne premi jodo ko pareshan karne ka ye plan drop kiya aur seedhe pull ke uspar pahuche....
.
"coffee house bhi nahi ja sakte,warna yadi wo waiter hume pahchan gaya to lafda kar dega...."Pull ke dusari taraf pahuchkar maine kaha...
"kyun...Angelina ne bill to bhara hee hoga na kal..."
"bill bhale hee Angelina ne bhar diya ho..lekin bina bill pay kiye hum log waha se bhage the ye mat bhool aur mera sixth sense kahta hai ki humare waha jane se koyi locha ho sakta hai...."
is tarah humne coffee house ke andar jane ka bhi plan drop kiya aur idhar udhar najar mari to ek chhoti si dukan dikhi...jo coffee house se thodi door me thi.
"sabko ek-ek chay pilana bhaiya..."order dekar jab hum log andar ghusne lage to dang rah gaye...kyunki waha andar Kallu,Kanghi chor...samose ki plate hath me pakad kar sarpat khaye ja raha tha,.....
"ye bhi bhagta hai...yakin nahi hota..."bolte hue Arun Kallu ke bagal me baitha aur jor se us kanghichor ki
peeth thapthapayi...jisase uske hath se samose ka plate seedhe zameen me aa gira....
"sale, ab iske paise kya tera baap dega...."Kallu bhaiya ke hath se jab unke samose ka plate chhut kar zameen par gir gaya to wo ekdum se Arun ke upar bhadak utha, bina iski parvah kiye ki uski pelayi bhi ho sakti hai....
"sorry.."Arun bola...
tab tak hum sabke hath me chay ka cup bhi aa chuka tha .chay bahut garam thi isliye Arun ne chay ka cup side me rakha taki thodi thandi hone ke baad pee sake....is beech Us kallu ,kanghi chor ko pata nahi kya hua ,jo usne Arun ka cup uthaya aur puri chay zameen me gira kar cup wapas pahle wali jagah par rakhte hue bola"sorry...."
.
Us kallu ,kanghi chor ki ye harkat dekhkar hum sabka dil, muh ko aa gaya...aankhe jaise yakin hee nahi kar pa rahi thi ki kuchh der pahle jo scene unhone dekha wo sach tha ya phhir ek bhram tha...us kallu kanghi chor ,par gussa to hum sabhi ko aaya tha,lekin hum sab chahte the ki iski shuruat Arun kare..... "Teri maa ki..."bolte hue Arun ne aav na dekh taav, aur seedha apna hath Kallu ke kan par chhod diya.... "tum log group me ho isliye mujhe mar rahe ho..."nam aawaz ke sath Kallu ne kaha....
"sale ,Kalicharan...teri gand me itni himmat ki tu mujhse ladega...MC ,aukat me raha kar,warna sari hekadi do minute me nikal dunga...BC hostel me kuchh bolte nahi hai to sochta hai ki tujhse darte hai...dobara yadi kabhi aisa kiya to jaha chhed dikhega wahi lund dalunga aur aankh ,kan,naak,muh
,gand sab kuchh fad dalunga...BC,chutiya sala..."
.
Is ghatna ke baad humare Kalicharan sahab ek pal bhi waha nahi ruke aur bina paise diye hee waha se chal diye....dukan wale ne kallu ko aawaz bhi lagayi,lekin wo nahi ruka....us thele wale se maine aas-paas kahi daru ki dukan hai ya nahi...ye puchha, jiske jawab me mujhe maloom chala ki yaha se kuchh doori par ek bar hai...
"ek bar,is jungle me...."
"bar matlab wahi na jaha sharab bahut mahngi milti hai aur bade-bade gharano ki ladkiya chhote-chhote kapde pahan kar apni ijjat daan karti hai...."
"haan...usi ko bar kahte hai..."uski baat ka matlab samajhkar maine kaha"yaha aas-paas koyi chhoti-moti daru ki dukan nahi hai kya..."
"idhar to kuchh bhi nahi hai ,bas wahi ek bar hai..." "kitna door hoga yaha se..."
"yadi paidal chale to yahi koyi 15-20 minute lagenge...lekin andar nahi ja paoge bhau..." "andar kyun nahi ja paunga...."
"kyunki udhar jane ke vaste ladki sath me hona mangta aur andar jane ke liye paisa bhi bahut lagta hai...."
"wo sab humari pareshani hai ,aap ye batao ki jana kis direction me hai..."
Us thele wale ne hume bar jane ka rasta bataya,jiske baad hum log wapas apne camp ki taraf badh gaye...
.
"abhi se camp jakar kya karenge ,Arman bhai...abhi to sirf 1 baje hai aur warden ne 4 baje tak aane ko kaha hai, yahi ki apne paas abhi full 3 ghante hai...."Pull par chalte hue Rajshri Pandey bola....
"camp kaun ja raha hai,hum log to wapas left side jakar ,MBBS college ki ladkiyo ko tadenge...sali kya maal dikhti hai ,figure to puchho mat...dekhte hee lund khada ho jata hai..."
"Arman ,tune bataya nahi ki Abdul kalam se tune kya baat ki thi..."turant topic change karke Arun ne
puchha...lekin main Arun se kuchh kahta usase pahle hee Saurabh bol utha ki main fake raha hoon aur bakiyo ne bhi uska sath diya....
"phhir ek kaam karo...tum sab gand marao...sale khud ki jitni aukat hai utni meri bhi samajhte ho..." "o ...Arman udhar dekh..."phhir se topic change karte hue Arun bola"tera goggle ,wo MBBS wali item pahan kar ghoom rahi hai,lekin tera goggle uske paas kaise aaya...sali chotti..."
Update-161
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Yaha aane se pahle hum sabne ye soch rakha tha ki hum log kisi aadi manav ki tarah sangharsh karenge aur apna pet bharne ke liye khud khana banayenge....lekin 'Sky Vision' ke karyakram ke baad humare warden ne hume ye kahkar surprise diya ki humare khane ka intezaam, yaha ki management ke dwara already kiya ja chuka hai....jisme humare college ke students to shamil honge hee sath me waha camping ka lutf utha rahe MBBS college ke students bhi invited the...aur aakhir ho bhi kyun na, humari tarah paise to unhone bhi diye the.
.
"tabhi sala ,main sochu ki itni raat ho gayi lekin ye warden khana banane ka intezaam kyun nahi karwa raha hai....sala dhokebaaz..."suit boot pahante hue Pandey ji ne Rajshri ki ek packet fada aur sara maal muh me bharkar bole"Arman bhai...waise ek tarah se dekha jaye to ye sahi bhi hai...kam se kam MBBS wali laundiyo se mel-milap to ho jayega...."
"us Angelina joulie se bachkar rahna beta...wo bahut khisiyayi hui hai...""are yadi wo Angelina joulie hai to hum hai yaha ke Brad Pitt, aakhir chudegi to humi se..."Arun sheese me apne baal thik karte hue bola...
"tu beta ,hamesha apni aukat se unchi udan hee marne ki sochta hai aur phhir baad me...."
"isi udaan me to maja hai pagle..."beech me hee Arun bol pada"warna apni aukat me to tujh jaise middle class ke log bhi udd lete hai, apun thoda special hai..."
"jao beta, jab wo chodegi to mere hee paas aaoge..."badbadate hue main camp se bahar nikla aur mere bahar nikalne ke baad meri toli bhi bahar nikli....
.
"nikal aaye rajkumaro...ab idhar bhi aa jao..."hum bahar nikle hee the ki humare jalankhor warden ne tana marte hue kaha....
"Arman, sale ki shakal dekh...ekdum gadhe ki gand jaisi hai...BC meri khubsurati se jalta hai..."apni aadat anusar Arun ne dheemi aawaz me warden ko salami thoki.
.
Warden is samay bhi thik usi bade se patthar par khada tha,jaha aaj subah khade hokar instruction de raha tha....warden ke samne humare college ki puri bheed jama thi aur jab hum 6 log us bheed me shamil hue to warden jo ki apne dono hath shaktiman style me apne kamar me rakha hua tha, wo neeche kuda.....
"Arman ji ,aap kaha hai...apne khubsurat noorani chehre ka deedar to hum sabko karayiye,aapse kuchh baat karni hai..."Warden bade hee cool andaj me bola....
aisa bolte waqt wo khud ko bahut smart samajh raha tha lekin sala ek number ka chodu lag raha tha aur kuchh nahi...sala gadhe ki gand
"idhar hoon main...Sir"apna hath khada karte hue main bola...
"aaj ki report ke mutabiq tumne ,samne wale college ke kuchh ladko se hatha-payi ki aur unhe goli maar dene ki dhamki bhi di...."
"kaha sir...main to pure din bukhar se tadap raha tha,yakin na ho to Arun aur Pandey ji se puchh lo..."
"tum pahle samne aakar apna face dikhao ,baad me main kisi aur se kuchh puchhunga...."
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Maine apna sar neeche jhukaya aur aankhe udas karke warden ki taraf badha....
"tum neeche khana khane nahi jaoge...tumhare dost tumhara khana pack karwa ke le aayenge..." "meri un sabse aaj subah hee ladayi ho gayi hai,phhir wo mere liye itna kyun karenge aur main sach me neeche nahi gaya tha..."
"phhir MBBS walo ne tumhara name kyun liya...."
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Warden ke is sawal par main ek dialogur marne ja hee raha tha ki BKL Divya ,beech me kud padi... "jhooth bolta hai ye sir, maine ise dopahar ko pull par dekha tha yakin na aaye to Esha se puchh lo aur Megha se bhi...."
"Divya sach kah rahi hai kya..."kadak aawaz ke sath warden ne Esha aur Megha se sawal kiya aur dono ne haan me apni gardan hila di....
"ab bolo Arman..."apni jeet par bhayankar hansi aur aankho me vijayi chamak liye warden meri taraf muda"tumne to kaha tha ki ,tum apne camp se bahar hee nahi nikle the...phhir pull par in teeno ne tumhe kaise dekha...."
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Divya ke dwara mere khilaf bolna mujhe raas nahi aaya aur dil kiya ki apna juta utar kar seedhe uske muh par de maru ya uske sar ke baal ko pakad kar jor-jor se zameen par de maru....lekin tabhi mere 1400 gm ke brain ne apni taqat dikhayi aur Divya ko maine usi ke dwara feke hue jaal me fansate hue kaha....
"main manta hoon ki main camp se nikalkar pull ki taraf gaya tha lekin yaha sawal ye khada hota hai ki Divya waha kya kar rahi thi,jabki...aapne kisi bhi student ko pull ki taraf jane se saaf mana kiya tha.... "iske baad maine warden se dheeme lafzo me kaha,jisase aage ki vartalap sirf hum dono hee sun sake...main bola"Are sir, hum log to phhir bhi ladke hai..humara kya hoga,lekin ladkiyo ka is tarah se ghoomna thik baat nahi, kahi kuchh uch-neech ho jati to aap kisi ko muh dikhane ke layak nahi rahte....aapki naukari to hath se jati hee ,sath me in ladkiyo ke maa-baap aap par laparwahi ka case bhi karte..."
"hmm..."
"Sir hum log to phhir bhi aapke hostel me rahte hai,hume maloom hai ki aapki ijjat ko kaise bachana hai lekin in ladkiyo ki kya majal jo aapke...aapke huqum ki avahelna kare,..ye to sarasar aapke gaal par tamacha jada hai in laundiyo ne...sorry mera matlab in ladkiyo ne main to kahta hoon ki abhich us maa di ladali ko punishment do..."
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"tum teeno pull par kya kar rahi thi..."aankho me angare liye hue Warden ne Divya ki taraf dekha aur Divya ne meri taraf...sali mujhe aise gusse se dekh rahi thi,jaise main uske tukdo par jeeta hoon. Uski is harkat se mera khoon bhi khaul utha....
"aankh neeche kar le aur apne baap ka rutba kisi aur par jhadna warna third semester ki kahani dobara dohrane me mujhe zara sa bhi waqt nahi lagega aur sir ko ye bata ki tu pull par kisase milne gayi thi..." "tu college pahuch tab tujhe main apni power dikhati hoon..."
"ok, baby...lekin pahle ye bata ki tu kya karwane pull ke us paar gayi thi...jabki Sir ne saaf mana kiya tha ki koyi us taraf nahi jayega..."
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Jaha kuchh der pahle sare students mand-mand muskan ke sath meri aur warden ke beech ki baat-chit ka maja loot rahe the,wahi ab mahol gadbada gaya tha...ek pal me sara maja ab hairani se bhara pada tha.waha beet raha har ek pal, meri aur Divya ke beech ho rahi har baat-chit...waha maujood sabhi ke dilo par ek dar paida kar rahi thi....Divya shant nahi ho rahi thi aur main to shant hone se raha....
"main kuchh bhi karne gayi thi ,tujhe usase kya....tu kya karne gaya tha..."
"daru peene gaya tha ,ab bol..."jab mera matha thanka to main seedhe aar-paar ki ladayi par utar aaya"ise samjha lo re koyi,warna yahi par laal kar dunga...phhir jakar chahe apne baap ko batana ya phhir apne bagal wali ke baap ko...."
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Is garma-garmi ke dauran Divya apna sara aapa kho chuki thi aur yahi haal mera bhi tha,...main yadi chahta to is situation ko bahut achchhi tarah se sambhal sakta tha
Lekin gussa mujhpar bhi sawar tha aur khoon mera bhi khaul raha tha....mujhe pakka yakin hai ki yadi mere dosto ne mujhe aur Divya ke saheliyo ne use nahi roka hota to mere hath wo bahut puri tarah maar khati....lekin aisa ho nahi paya aur mere dost mujhe turant waha se pakad kar door le aaye.... "*** chod dunga uski, BC samajhti kya hai khud ko...apne baap ke dam par uchak rahi hai...jyada dimag kharab hua to is baar uske bhi baap ko marunga...phhir chahe mera murder hee kyun na ho jaye..."Arun aur Saurabh ko door dhakel kar main ladkiyo ke us jhund ki taraf badha ,jis jhund ke beech me Divya thi....
"bahar nikal sali..."
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us samay mujhe pata nahi kya ho gaya tha jo main itne sare logo ke beech aisi harkate kar raha tha..,rah- rah kar mujhe sirf wo pal yaad aata,jab Divya ke baap ki vajah se main teen mahine tak hospital me raha tha.....
"mujhe mar, jyada dam aa gaya hai tujhme...le maar mujhe."humare hostel ka warden seedhe mere samne khada hokar jor se cheekha"gunda gardi karne aaya hai tu yaha..."Warden ko samne dekhkar main rook gaya aur aas-paas dekha to paya ki na sirf mere college wale,balki MBBS college ke bhi students , is hungame se waha aa chuke the....aur tab jakar mujhe hosh aaya.
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"Sorry..."warden ko bolkar main apne camp ki taraf muda....lekin MBBS college ke kuchh ladko ki hansi ki gunj ne mere khoon ko phhir se garam karne ka kaam kar diya"kya hai be, yaha koyi sarkas chal raha hai kya...seedhe se nikal lo beta warna sari hansi nikal dunga..."
.Mere dost mujhe pakad kar camp ke andar laye.jiske baad Girls hostel ki caretaker aur humare warden ne mujhe khoob sunaya aur mere ghar ka number manga....Maine apne ghar ka number dene se saaf mana kar diya jiske baad warden ne mujhe bahut sari dhamkiya di aur punishment ke taur par neeche
,jaha sab khana khane ja rahe the...waha mere jane par ban laga diya....jab warden waha se chale gaye to mere dost andar aaye...bahut der tak to hum me se koyi kuchh nahi bola lekin phhir kuchh der baad mere sare dost achanak hasne lage.....
."kya hua..."
"kuchh nahi...lawda kya chodupana kiya hai aaj tum dono ne...zindagi bhar yaad rahega " "MC,bhookh lagi hai...kuchh jugad hai kya."un sabki taraf dekhkar maine puchha...
"beta tere chakkar me ,hume bhi neeche nahi jane diya gaya..."
"aisa kyun..."
"warden bola ki ,sabke liye punishment hai...aur to aur usne Divya,Esha aur Megha ko bhi neeche nahi jane diya..."
"are "ekdum se khada hote hue main bola"Esha ko patane ka ek solid idea aayela hai beedu...chal jaldi..."
"kaha..."
"neeche...khana khakar aate hai..."
"iske pahle main kya aliens ki language me bola kya ki...warden ne neeche jane ke liye mana kiya hai..." "warden ke maa ki fill in the blanks....bhagkar chalte "
Update-162
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'Girl' jise hindi me ladki ,Gujrati me 'chhokari' ,marathi me 'mulagi' aur hum jaise naujwan 'item' ya 'maal ' kahte hai...ye badi hee kash -makash paida karne wali prajati hai...ladkiya uljhan me bahut dalti hai...jaise kisi ladki ne ek-do baar kisi ladke ko dekh kya liya banda zindagi bhar isi uljhan me rahta hai ki wo mujhe line de rahi thi ya sirf aise hee maje loot rahi thi...ladkiya itna uljhan paida karti hai ki ek-do baar bhagwan bhi confusion ho jata hoga ki ise neeche bheju ya yahi apne paas rakh loon
Aur hum jaise laundo ka to puchho hee mat...jis bande ne ek ladki kya pata li sala behave aise karta hai jaise puri duniya jeet li ho. Uska khana-peena, nahana-dhona ,sab kuchh ek ladki ke chakkar me shutdown ho jata hai.....Ab humi log ko dekh lo...main yaha neeche isliye nahi aaya tha ki mujhe bhookh lagi thi balki isliye taki main ladkiya taad saku....mere dost jo neeche aate samay har-kadam mujhe warden ka dar de rahe the...wo bhi is samay mere sath neeche isliye the taki wo ladkiyo ko dekh sake. Bole to 'Nayandarshan' ya 'nayansukh'.
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"main soch raha tha ki un teeno ke liye bhi khana vagerah pack kar ke le jate hai..."Ek plate uthate hue maine kaha aur pelam-pel salaad plate me bhar liya.
"kaun teeno..."aage-peechhe najar markar Saurabh ne bhi pelam-pel salaad bhar liya aur bola"hum sab to hai yaha...."
"abey,hum log yadi mar rahe ho aur isase ek glass pani ki fariyad kare ,tab bhi ye hume ek glass pani lakar nahi dega aur bolega ki'lawde,upar jakar direct jalpaan karna'....aisa launda hai ye..."mere aur Saurabh ki tarah Arun ne bhi relam-pel salaad apni plate me bhara aur kaha"ye to un teeno ke liye hai..jinhe warden ne neeche aane ke liye mana kiya hai..."
"wo "apne dimag par jor dalte hue Saurabh ne puchha"kahi tu,Divya...Esha aur Megha ki baat to nahi kar raha..."
"ekdum sahi jawab..."
"sach "meri taraf aankhe faad-faad kar dekhte hue Saurabh ne chammach uthaya aur apne plate me rakhte hue bola"tu ladkiyo ke samne kab se haar manne laga,ab ye mat bol dena ki tujhe apni galti ka ahsaas ho gaya hai aur tu ab use sorry bolne ja raha hai...."
"are lawde,sorry to humne tab bhi nahi bola jab galti humari thi...to ab kya bolunga..."
"ye...yehi junoon ant tak banaye rakhna aur chahe jo ho jaye lund ko chut ke samne jhukne mat dena kyunki lund kat sakta hai lekin jhuk nahi sakta "
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Baato hee baato me jab Saurabh ne Megha ka name liya to Megha ke naye-navele aashiq Sulabh ko bechaini hui aur usne hum teeno ke beech me apna sar ghused kar jo discussion chal raha tha...uska topic puchha....
"kuchh khas nahi,bas soch raha tha ki un teeno ke liye khana pack karke le jaye..." "sach ""yes, aur tu hee wo launda hai jo teeno ke liye dinner pack "
"ghanta,is puri bheed me tujhe ek akela main hee dikha jo ye kaam karunga...beta ye bade shahar ki badi party hai na ki tere gaanv ki shadi ,jaha pure khandan ke liye khana pack karwa liya jayega...yaha to sala ye bhi saaf nahi hai ki mujhe khana milega ya nahi...aur ek baat puchhu tum teeno ne ye janwaro ki tarah salaad kyun bhar liya hai..."
"beta, wo MBBS wale bhukkhado ki bheed dekh aur us bheed ko dekhkar mera 1400 gm ka dimag kahta hai ki achhi tarah se plate bharne me kam se kam 10-15 minute to lagenge hee..."
"toh.."
"to tab tak hum log salaad khakar time paas karenge..."
"sahi hai..."kahte hue Sulabh ne bhi apni plate me pelam-pel salaad bhar liya.
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jab sab mere khana pack karwane wale plan se sahmat ho gaye to ek nayi samasya paida hui aur wo samasya ye thi ki un teeno ke liye dinner kaun pack karwayega...kyunki aisi party ,jaha itne sare log ho waha apne hath me plastic lekar khade rahna ,matlab apni reputation ko khule bazar me kaudiyo ke daam me bechna tha aur ye kaam sirf ek shaks kar sakta tha aur wo the humare Rajshri Product ke Brand ambassador Shri-Shri 1008 Pandey ji.....
"kya Arman bhai...apun ki bhi koyi ijjat hai...kahe ko apun ki aisi-taisi karne par tule ho..." "ye kaam kar de ,10 Rajshri meri taraf se free..."
"rahne do,maine Rajshri khana chhod diya..."
phhir ek packet gudang-garam cigarette..."
"apun cigarette bhi chhod dega Arman bhai...par apun ki langot mat utaro..." "chal,phhir ek botal pavva...ab "
"daru bhi chhod dunga main aaj se..."
"teri to...tu beta college me mil.phhir teri ijjat waha thik dhang se sawarunga..."jab mere sare lalach Rajshri Pandey par beasar ho gaye to maine use dhamki dene ka rasta apnaya and as always Rajshri Pandey maan gaya...,pata nahi kyun sala meri dhamki se itna darta tha....
"thik hai Arman bhai,jaisa aap bolo...lekin ye aap thik nahi kar rahe mere sath ""dil pe mat le...."Rajshri Pandey ka peeth thapthapate hue maine apne jeb se kayi sari plastics nikal kar jaldi se uske jeb me daal di aur bola"muh me le.."
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Rajshri ko uska kaam saunp kar humne use khud se door kiya aur salaad khate-khate apni plate bharne lage....
"main kofta aur bhindi lekar abhi aaya...."bolkar Saurabh waha se aage badh gaya aur Naveen,Sulabh pahle hee sath chhod chuke the...
.
"aaj dekha Divya kaise udd rahi thi ,achchhe se baithaya hai usko,ab kuchh din mere samne apni jubaan kholne se pahle 3 lakh kilometer/Sec. Ki speed se sochegi ki kuchh bolu ya nahi..."
"ab tu apni tareef karna shuru mat ho jana...."
"abey nahi..main to tujhse ye kahna chahta hoon ki in ladkiyo me dimag ki jagah gobar bhara pada hai..kuchh sochati-samajhti nahi bas kau-kau chillati rahti hai...Divya ko hee dekh le, use kya jaroorat thi beech me bolne ki ? Lekin nahi use to mujhse panga lena tha ,kar diya na nanga...ab tu us MBBS wali ko hee le le, do baar mujhe ullu kya banaya ,khud ko Arman se badi samajhni lagi...use bhi dhang se batti diya aur aisa batti diya hai ki zindagi bhar 'Arman' shabd sunkar uske dimag ki batti gul ho jayegi..."
"kafi galatfahmi paal rakhi hai tumne apne andar...zameen par rahna seekho warna ek pal aisa aayega jab patal ke bhi nahi rahoge..."ek sexy aawaz ne mera dhyan apni taraf aakarshit kiya aur jab meri aankhe us sexy aawaz ki malkin par padi to aankhe jaisi us par jam kar rah gayi...
"Angelina...ye itna sab kuchh ho jane ke baad bhi mujhse muskura kar baat kar rahi...jaroor ye kisi plan ke sath aayi hogi,nikal le beta..."maine khud se kaha aur ek professional muskan apne hontho par le aaya...jabki Angelina ko dekhte hee main thoda ghabra gaya tha kyunki wo is samay ek ghayal sherni ki tarah thi...jo bas us ek mauke ki talaash me thi jiske karan wo mujhe,hum dono ke beech chal rahe mind- game me parajit kar sake...is samay main Angelina darling se ulajhna nahi chahta tha...isliye waha se bhag jana hee behtar samjha...
Jung ke maidan me bina lade bhagne ka mera apna ek alag hee style hai,jo hamesha hee kargar sabit hota hai aur wo style ye hai"dar ke karan jung ke maidan ko bhi is tarah chhodo ki samne wale ko ye mahsoos ho ki aap waha se bhag kar uspar bahut bada ahsaan kar rahe ho...' iske do fayde hai-pahle ye ki is tarah se aapki ijjat bhi baj jati hai aur dusara ye ki samne wali ki ijjat thuk jati hai.....
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"meet my friend..."ek ladke ke kamar par hath rakhkar Angelina boli"iska name..."
"ye koyi Johnny depp ya Robert downey jr. hai kya,jo main isase milu....jao pahle mujhse milne ka appointment mere secretary se lekar aao..."waha se khisakte hue maine kaha"chal be Arun, kofte ke counter par bheed kam ho gayi hai.."
Update-163 :
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Angelina darling se peechha chhudakar hum log ek taraf khade ho gaye aur apne masoom se pet ko bharne lage...main aur mere dost warden ke mana karne ke bawjood neeche aa gaye hai,iski khabar kisi ne warden ko de di aur hath me khane ki plate liye warden humare paas aaya....
"tum logo ko mana kiya tha yaha aane ke liye..."apne daant chabakar usne hum sabko batti di aur samne se gujarne wale ek shaks ko bade hee shaleenta se bola"hello, aap kaise hai..."
Jab wo shaks gujar gaya to warden phhir humari taraf muda aur hume galiya bakna shuru kar diya...wo bhi bade pyar aur dular se, kyunki har waqt-bewaqt koyi na koyi waha se gujarta jiske karan warden hum par apna gala nahi phhad pa raha tha...ek taraf warden hume hans-hans kar batti de raha tha to wahi hum log hans-hans kar batti le rahe the......
"tum log upar milo ,phhir batata hoon tumhe.."warden ne ek baar phhir apna daant chabaya lekin dusare pal samne se gujar rahi ek aurat ko dekhkar muskurate hue bola"kaisi hai aap,dinner ho gaya aapka..."
"yes...yes....yes"teen baar 'yes' bolkar wo aurat chalti bani aur hum log bhi mauka dekhkar usi waqt waha se khisak liye....
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"Pandey ji ko Gutkhe ka packet do koyi,inhone humara kaam jo kiya hai..."Pahadi par upar chadhte hue maine kaha...
"rahne do Arman bhai, aaj sabke samne meri ijjat me jitne hole hue hai na ,uske baad Gutkha,daru sab kuchh bhool sa gaya hoon...dimag me baar-baar bas wahi scene aa jata hai jab waha maujood log mujhpar hans rahe the..."
"mard ban be lawde "Pandey ji ki peeth jor-jor se thapthapate hue Saurabh bola"name bata unka jinhone tujhpar hansa...abhi salo ka muh unke gand me ghusa kar aata hoon..."
"maloom nahi ,kaun-kaun hans raha tha...main to bas apna sar jhukaye khada tha waha..."
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"Arman tu hamesha bolta rahta hai ki 'i love daru more than' " "GIRLS..."Arun ke pahle hee maine apna dialogue complete kiya...
"ek baar ye bol ki tu, daru ko mujhse jyada pyar karta hai..."
"isme kaun si badi problem hai...I love daru more than Gay-Arun..."aur isi ke sath hum sabhi hans pade,siway Arun ko chhodkar....
"ab yahi line Esha ke liye bol to..."usne aage kaha... "ab kya main din bhar sabke name japta rahu kya..."
"iski koyi jaroorat nahi bas tu ek baar ye bol de ki 'i love daru more than Esha'...bas baat khatm..." "isme kaun si badi baat hai,le abhi bol deta hoon..."Arun par haste hue maine bolna shuru kiya"i love daru more than......"
"more than..."jab main bolte-bolte chup ho gaya to Arun ne ek baar phhir se apni taang adayi... "more than...more than..."
"rahne de beta, bol chuka tu..."ek jor ka ghusa mere peeth me markar Arun ne kaha"tune dil tod diya mera aaj.sale mera name le sakta hai lekin uska name nahi le sakta...bas beta ,dekh li teri ye dosti...tujhe pata nahi ki tune mujhe aaj kitna dukhi kiya hai....dil kar raha hai ki yaha se neech kudkar apni jaan de doon,lekin phhir jo daru ka ek bumpher tere bag me rakha hai,use kaun piyega...ye sochkar nahi kud raha...baki dil to ekdum chhalli-chhalli ho gaya aaj..."
"oye nautanki, chup ho aur tu kya sochta hai ki main Esha ko daru se jyada pyar karta hoon...bilkul nahi, le abhi bole deta hoon,wo line jo tu sunna chahta hai..."kahte hue maine ek baar phhir se try kiya...lekin juban Esha ka name leti ,usase pahle hee atak gayi....meri favorite line ko Esha ka name lekar pura karne ke liye mera muh jaroor khulta lekin shabd nahi nikal rahe the......
"i love daru more tha E...More than Eeeeeeee......"barahawi baar koshish karte hue main bola lekin pichhali egraya baar ki tarah is baar bhi juban dhokha de gayi....
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"gand mara tu Arun..."frustation me main cheekha aur tej kadmo ke sath thoda aage badh gaya....
Pata nahi meri jubaan kyun ladkhada rahi thi...jabki main aisa kabil launda tha ,jise gale tak daru pilakar yadi hazar logo ke samne bhasad dene ke liye stage par khada kar diya jaye tab bhi ek shabd idhar se udhar na ho....
"o us billi se to main 100 % pyar karta hoon...."
College ke char salo me teesare saal mujhe ye maloom chala ki Esha se main sach me pyar karta hoon . "pata nahi sala dosti kab hogi, main use propose kab karunga aur kab wo meri girl friend banegi....jis speed ke sath main hoon ,uske hisab se to sala ye janam aur iske aage wala janam bhi kam pad jayega... "
.
Camp me aane ke baad ye decide hua ki main aur Sulabh un teeno ke camp me jayenge aur dinner chhod kar aayenge....
"tu ja raha hai to ja,lekin meri ek baat apne gand me gath bandh ke rakh liyo ki bhoole se bhi un laundiyo ko sorry bola to alta-palta ke chodunga...."dhamki ke roop me Saurabh ne apni shart rakhi... "abey, meri shakal dekhkar tujhe kya lagta hai ki main use sorry bolunga...us Divya ki to shakal tak nahi dekhunga..."
"yahi jajba banaye rakhiyo beta ,bahut door tak jayega...itna door ki telescope se bhi tu nahi dikhega...ab mere pair chhukar aashirwad le aur chalta ban us 'R. Divya'ke camp ki taraf..."
"ye 'R. Divya' ka kya matlab"khane ke packet apne hath me pakadte hue Sulabh ne puchha... "wo main tujhe raste me samjha dunga,ab chal idhar se..."
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Apne camp se nikal kar main aur Sulabh , 'R.Divya ' ke camp ki taraf badhe aur is samay mere dimag me jo chal raha tha ,wo ye ki...un teeno ka muh kitna inch fatega ,jab wo log mujhe aur Sulabh ko apne camp ke andar dekhegi....
"kahi koyi heart attack se na mar jaye...."chalte waqt main badbadaya... "kaun mar raha hai Arman..."
"tu chup-chap chal na aage...ye baar-baar ungali karna jaroori hai kya...."
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Humare college ke lagbhag aadhe student aa chuke the jiska pata maine aadhe se adhik camp me se aati hui roshani se lagaya....'R.Divya' ke camp se bhi roshani aa rahi thi...unke camp se kuchh doori par jab main aur sulabh pahuche to main rook gaya...
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"kya hua Arman..."
"kuchh nahi..bas soch raha hoon ki wapas chalte hai..." "kyun..."
"abey pahli baat to ye ki hume aisa karte dekh jo ki hum dono abhi karne ja rahe hai...un teeno ko dil ka daura padega aur mujhe dar hai ki kahi koyi ludhak na jaye...."
"aur dusari baat kya hai..."
"dusari baat ye ki hum dono ki...sorry hum dono ki nahi, sirf meri...meri bejjati bhi hogi...."
"aur teesari baat..."hatho me khane ka packet liye Sulabh mujhe itne dhyan se sun raha tha ki uski pakad khane ke packets par kamjor ho gayi aur ek ke baad ek do-teen packet ,zameen par dhamake ke sath giri.....
"teesari baat ye ki, tu maha-bakchod hai aur Megha ke sapne dekhna chhod de...chutiya sala,Pandey ji ki mehnat ko bekar kar diya..."Sulabh ko khari-khoti sunate hue main bola"ab mera muh kya dekh raha hai,utha ke dekh ki kuchh salamat bhi hai ya sab khatm ho gaya..."
"bose dk chilla mat,warna yahi marunga...kasam ganga maiya ki " "majak kar raha tha pagle,tu to har baat dil pe le leta "
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Haste-khelte,ladte-jhagadte...main aur Sulabh aakhir 'R.Divya' ke camp ke samne pahuch hee gaye ,lekin ab sawal ye tha ki hum dono me se andar kaun jaye....kyunki Sulabh ki fat rahi thi aur main pahle andar nahi jana chahta tha aur dusare shabdo me kahe to meri bhi fat rahi thi...kyunki in ladkiyo ka kya bharosha,sali 'help-help' chillakar hume kahi fansa na de...
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"tu sale bahut sher-dil banta hai...tu hee ja pahle..."
"mujhe dekhkar wo Maa di ladli Divya sanak jayegi...aur lamba chauda bakheda kar degi..." "ek kaam karte hai ,dono sath chalte hai andar..."
"ye sahi rahega..."
Maine , Sulabh ka hath aise pakda jaise saat phhere lene ja raha hoon aur camp ki taraf badhte hue puchha...
"guess kar sakta hai kya ki wo teeno kya kar rahi hogi ,is waqt..." "pakka muth mar rahi hogi..."
"kya aadmi hai be, itna kharab to main bhi nahi bolta....ek se badhkar ek hai yaha...ek baat bata,tu sach me Megha ko pyar karta hai ya aise hee Arun ki tarah doodh-gand dabane ke liye Megha ka chakkar kat raha hai..."
"left side wala pyar hai be aur mujhpar ungali uthane se pahle khud ko dekh, teesara saal chal raha haiekin itna dam nahi ki in teen saal me use jakar teen shabd bol sake...aur mujhpar ungali uthane se pahle khud se puchh ki kya tu Esha se left side wala pyar karta hai ya nahi..."
"apna to 100 % pure hai,aaj confirm bhi ho gaya aur ab chal..."
.
Maine sar neeche karke camp ke andar pahle apna sar ghusaya aur agal bagal dekha....waha siway Esha ke aur koyi nahi tha aur Esha bhi dusari taraf apna face kiye hue baithi thi....
"abey ,Arman...teri billi kahi koyi jadu-tona to nahi karti ,kyunki jis position me wo apne baal khule karke baithi hai ,usase apun ko chudailo ki yaad aa rahi hai..."
"Bakchod ,wo video game khel rahi ,tu sale ladkiyo ki ijjat karna kab sikhega "khusfusate hue maine Sulabh se kaha aur Esha ko aawaz di lekin Esha pahle ke tarah hee isbar bhi baithi rahi....
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"Arman,main kya bolta hoon ki ab hume chalna chahiye...meri fat rahi hai...kahi kisi ne aise karte hue dekh liya to...bhari lafda ho jayega...."
"dar mat...is samay Esha ka baap bhi aa jaye to mujhe kuchh nahi bolega...mere paas back up plan hai..." "thik hai to tu yahi ruk main chala...waise bhi Megha yaha nahi hai..."
"Ruk be, warna tere baap ko call karke bata dunga ki tu unke mana karne ke bawjood idhar camping me aaya hai..."
Sulabh ko rok kar maine ek aur baar Esha ko dheere se aawaz diya lekin waha baj rahe sangit ki dhwani me mere muh se nikli dhwani ghul-mil gayi aur Esha par koyi prabhav nahi pada.... "Esha....billi..palat"thoda tej aawaz me maine kaha aur jaise hee Esha peechhe palti,Sulabh apna hath mere hath se chhudakar waha se ulte pair bhag gaya....sala darpok .
"Arman......."Mujhe dekhte hee Esha chauki aur turant hee uthkar mere paas aayi..."kya chahiye tumhe..."
"ek chummi..."maine socha ki aisa bol du,lekin phhir nahi bola aur apna sar na me hila diya..... "kuchh kahna hai.... "Esha ne dobara sawal kiya.
Maine haan me apna sar hilaya aur socha ki ye bol du'i love you more than daru...' lekin phhir himmat nahi hui....
"sorry bolne aaye hoge, i know..."
"i know, you know, don't know,who know...bahut confusion hai..."main bola"wo tum log neeche nahi gaye the khana khane...to mujhe fikra hone lagi ki kahi tum logo ka bhookh ke mare pet na kharab ho jaye,isliye tum teeno ke liye khana pack karwa ke laya hoon...lekin Sulabh ki meharbani se sare khane ka satyanash ho gaya..."
"kyaaaaaaaaa......."bolte hue Esha zameen me girte-girte bachi.
Shuru me socha ki mast kudkar Esha ko lapak loon lekin tabhi mere dimag ne kaha ki'na beta na...lafda ho sakta hai' aur maine phhir waisa kuchh bhi nahi kiya....
"mujhe to pahle se hee andaja tha ki iska kuchh yahi haal hoga....abhi isko heart attack bhi aayega "
Update-164 :
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"mujhe yakin nahi ho raha ki tum humare liye khana laye ho, thanks...lekin Divya aur Megha bhi chori- chori neeche gayi hai...."
"us R.Divya me itna talent aur himmat kaha se aa " "R.Divya ka matlab..."
"R.Divya ka matlab.....hmm...Respected Divya "Sulabh ke hahakar se jo khane ke packet bach gaye the unhe Esha ko pakdate hue maine man me socha"Chal ab i love you bol aur kiss kar "
"mujhe samajh nahi raha ki main tumse dinner loon ya rahne doon..."hatho ki taraf dekhte hue Esha boli....
"jyada mat soch...dimag par asar padta hai, bindas hokar khane ka phhir so jane ka bole to KPS " "KPS means Krishna public college..."
"ye le are humari dictionary me to IIT ka full form bhi ' Indian Institute of Technology' nahi hota to phhir KPS ka full form krishna Public college kaise hoga...KPS ka matlab hai khao,piyo aur so jao..." "ok..then KPS to you..."bolkar Esha aise khush hui jaise kitna bhari dialogue mar diya ho...
"to main chalta hoon..."(i love you )
"haan jao..."palat kar jate hue Esha boli, lekin kuchh door aage jane ke baad pata nahi usko kya hua ,jo wo ekdum se palti...uske tevar dekhkar main hairan pareshan ho gaya....
"apna khana apne sath le jao...mujhe koyi jaroorat nahi..."wahi se khane ki packets meri taraf fek kar Esha boli"aur dobara mujhse baat karne ki koshish mat karna yaha tak ki mere karib bhi mat bhatakna,..."
"teri maa ki isko kya hua...abhi to achchhe se baat kar rahi thi..."hazar volts current ke jhatke khate hue meri aankhe fat ki fati rah gayi thi aur muh kayi inch tak khul gaya tha....Esha ka aisa roop maine ab se pahle kabhi nahi dekha tha, use gusse me dekha tha lekin aisa kali maa wala roop pahli baar dekh raha tha.....dil aur dimag me kayi sawal liye maine usase puchha...
"kya hua..."
"apna ye ahsaan jo zameen par pada hai use uthao aur yaha se dafa ho jao..."
"are lekin ye to bata hua kya....tujhme ye zero to infinite wala parivartan kaise aur kyun aa
gaya..."bhadak main bhi sakta tha lekin Esha ka lihaaj karte hue khud par control karke rakha hua tha.... "ek baar me sunayi nahi deta kya...maine kaha na dafa ho jao yaha se..."
"dekh billi, mera body temerature mat badha...nahi to..."
"nahi to kya...tumne Gautam ke sath jo kya uske baad tum iski ummid rakhte ho ki main tumse sahi dhang se baat karungi...kuchh der pahle to main ek pal ke liye jaise sab kuchh bhool hee gayi thi,warna camp ke andar ghusne nahi deti.ab ye apna sada sa khana uthao aur chalte bano..."
"control kar be...gali mat dena isko..."jab tak main Esha ke camp me tha tab tak main har pal khud se yahi kahta raha aur ispar kamyab bhi hua....Esha ko yun mujh par bhadakta dekh mera dil kar raha tha ki apna collar upar karu, goggle aankh me chadha kar Esha par apni galiyo ki puri dictionary khali kar doon....
Lekin dikkat ye thi ki mera shirt without collar tha ,Goggle to ek din pahle hee kho chuka tha aur Esha ka chehra dekhkar meri galiyo ki dictionary khul hee nahi rahi thi....maine zameen par pade hue khane ke packet uthaye aur waha se jate hue Esha se bola...
"meri nahi to kam se kam is khane ki to ijjat ki hoti...khair koyi baat nahi, KPS"
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Esha ke camp se nikal kar main apne camp ki taraf badha...mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha ki Esha mujhpar achanak itna bhadak kyun gayi ? Kyunki yadi use mujhpar bhadakna hee tha to shuru se hee bhadakti...shuru me pyar-mohabbat dikha kar baad me gali dena ye kaha ka vyavhar hai...in ladkiyo ko kabhi hum garib ladko ke Armano ki kadra hee nahi hoti.shuru me uske haav-bhav se aisa lag raha tha ki abhi mujhe ' i love you' bol degi...lekin sari ummido ko jala kar rakh kar diya
"to beta aur bhago uske peechhe,apun to college ke pahle din se hee usase door rahne ko bola tha lekin nahi...tumhare hee pichhwade me ungali ho rahi thi ab bhugto..."apni camp ki taraf jate hue main khud se lad raha tha....kabhi main ek pahlu se Esha ki burayi karta to kabhi dusare pahlu se uska bachav karta....
"are beta...dar mat,mard ban....ye Megha,Vibha..jaisi laundiya to baye hath ka khel hai...yadi damdari dikhani hai to Esha jaisi kisi khubsurat item ko set karne ka....warna zindagi bhar mutth marne ka...."
.
"dhat teri ki..."apna sar pakad kar main jaha tha wahi khada ho gaya aur khud se bola" i love daru more than Esha...nahi...i love Esha more than daru....nope, i love Daru more than Esha...chup ho ja bose dk ,i love Esha more than daru...tujhe tere lund ki kasam ...i love daru more than....................."
"tumhari maa ki "main cheekha ,chillaya aur jab khud se jujhate hue dhyan diya to paya ki main pahadi ke ekdum kinare me khada hoon.jaha se do-char kadam yadi main aur aage badhata to seedhe bhagwan se face to face milta...."BC, mujhe nahi lagta ki aise me main jyada din tak zinda rahunga...is Esha ka kuchh to karna padega..."badbadate hue main turant waha se peechhe kuda...
.
Apne camp ki taraf badhte hue Maine ghadi me time dekha ,raat ke 11 baj rahe the....mere dil aur dimag ke world war ke baad main ab ek-do peg markar shanti se sona chahta tha....lekin jab camp ke andar pahucha to warden waha pahle se maujood tha...
"MC sala..."warden ko camp ke andar dekh maine dil hee dil me kaha....
"kaha gaye the Sir..."gadhe ke gand jaisa muh banate hue warden ne puchha... "peshab karne gaya tha..."
Warden ne mujhe apne bagal me baithaya aur 'beta-beta' bolkar bahut sari naseehat di aur waha se chala gaya......jab warden waha se khiska to maine socha ki ab chup-chap do peg markar so jata hoon
lekin mere khas dost Arun ke gand me illi thi....
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"tune aaj mera bahut dil dukhaya hai..."jab main apni aankhe band karke let gaya to mujhe hilate hue Arun ne kaha...
"ek kaam kar...tu gand mara aur dobara mujhe touch kiya to gand fad dalunga..." "tu ek baar bol de ki ' i love daru more than Esha'...bas baat khatm..."
"nahi bolunga...jo ukhad sakta hai ukhad le..."
"tere paas hai hee kya ukhadne ko...tu bol de aaj ,warna sone nahi dunga..."
"beta jitna bada tu nahi hai,usase bada to mera lund hai...aur ek baat bata, tu sale kahi Gay to nahi hai..."
"Arun chahe gay ho ya lesbian, pahle tu ye bata ki tujhe Esha jyada pyari hai ya hum log..."abki baar Saurabh ke pichhwade me illi hui aur wo bhi uthkar baith gaya....
.
iske baad to ek-ek karke sabke pichhwade me mano kisi ne lamba danda ghused diya , sale sab mujhe dhikkar rahe the yaha tak ki Rajshri Pandey bhi...
"Arman bhai...maine jo aaj aapke liye kiya wo saat janam me yadi Esha ne kabhi kar diya to maa kasam main Rajshri khana band kar dunga...."
"Arman ,pahle friend baad me girl firend..."Sulabh bhi naseehat dete hue bola...
"abey tum sabne bhang chadha rakhi hai kya,jo itni raat ko aisi behuda bakwas kar rahe ho...so jao.."bolte hue maine phhir chadar tani ,lekin Arun ne chadar chheenkar door zameen par fek diya... "beta ,bol de ki ' i love daru more than Esha' warna...tujhe camp se bahar nikal denge...sale wo laundiya humse badi hai kya...."
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Jab sab dost aapke khilaf ho jaye to badi aafat hoti hai yar ! Na chahte hue bhi wo karna padta hai...jo karne me ratti bhar bhi interest nahi hota....main, zameen par door padi apni chadar ko kuchh der tak dekhta raha aur phhir use uthakar Arun ki taraf dekhkar bola...
"sale,wo kaha surajmukhi aur tu kaha jwalamukhi...zameen-aasman ka antar hai tum dono me...main dusare camp me so jaunga lekin wo nahi bolunga...jo tum log mujhse bulwana chahte ho....good night "Update-165
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Main apni chadar samet kar bahar ja hee raha tha ki Arun ne aawaz dekar wapas bula liya.... "rahne de, tu bhi kya yaad rakhega ki kis ladke se pala pada tha..."
"Main janta tha ki tu mujhe jane nahi dega...."
Wapas let kar maine chadar tani aur din bhar ki thakan ke karan mujhe neend jaldi aa gayi. main subah 8 baje tak apni thakan mitata raha aur hamesha ki tarah aaj bhi main sabse pahle utha.....
10 baje tak sare students kal ki tarah usi jagah jama hue,jaha kal hue the...aur humara warden kal ki tarah aaj bhi shaktiman style me apne dono hath apni kamar me rakhkar instruction de raha tha.....usne ek baar phhir sabse kaha ki, koyi bhi pull ke us paar nahi jayega aur na hee koyi dusare college walo se koyi vivad khada karega.....ek aur baat jo warden ne hume batayi wo ye ki aaj raat ko khana jaldi ho jayega ,jiske baad Engineer vs. Doctor ka debate hoga....
"jo-jo log participate karna chahte hai ,wo mam ke paas apna name de de..."Girls hostel ki warden ki taraf ishara karte hue usne kaha....
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"Arman, ja tu bhi apna name de de..."Mere peechhe khade Arun ne mujhe ek laat marte hue kaha... "lawde, pant kahe ganda kar raha hai aur ye sab chutiyapa mere liye nahi hai...."
"bol na fat gayi...bahane kyun marta hai..." "meri kisliye fategi be..."
"teri isliye fategi kyunki sabke samne jakar bolne ka guts tere me nahi hai...tu bas hum log ke samne lambi-lambi chhod sakta hai..."
"abey jab 5000 logo ke samne ,jaha Media wale bhi the....unke samne mujhse kaha gaya tha ki main humare desh ke missile man se kuchh sawal karu...us waqt jaha har second me media wale saikado photo kheench rahe the...
us waqt jab news channels ke saikado camera laplapa rahe the...
Us samay jab main National Law Institute,Bhopal me apne college ko represent kar raha tha....
tab mere hath me mic diya gaya aur mujhse kaha gaya ki main Dr.Avul Pakir Jainulabdeen Abdul Kalam se koyi sawal puchhu....
jab us waqt meri jubaan nahi ladkhadayi to ab in tuchchh praniyo ke samne main hichkichaunga....ye teri galatfahmi hai balak "Arun se maine kaha....
Mujhe bolne se pahle hee maloom chal gaya tha ki mere bolne ke baad Arun mujhpar hasega aur ispar
yakin nahi karega....lekin sale ne yakin kar liya
"kha maa kasam ki tu sach me apne Abdul Kalam se face to face baat kiya hai..." "kiya hai to kiya hai...ab isme maa kasam khane ki kya jaroorat hai be..."
"kya sawal kiya tha tune...."
"baad me bataunga...."bolte hue main samne muda, jaha humara warden bade se patthar me khade hokar aaj raat hone wale debate ki kuchh jankari de raha tha....
.
jo students Engineer vs. Doctor ke khel me interested the unhone apna name de diya aur phhir sabhi pahadi se neeche utar kar left side jane lage...kal ki tarah aaj bhi warden ne suddh hindi me nirdesh diye the ki pull ki taraf koyi nahi jayega aur sham ko 4 baje tak...sab wapas laut aayenge.....
Kal MBBS college ke ladko ki vajah se hum log fishing ke baad rappelling me nahi ja paye the,jabki maja to usi me aata tha.isliye humari toli ne decide kiya ki aaj pahle rappelling me jayenge aur phhir warden
ke instruction ki dhajjiya udakar pull ke paar jayenge.....
.
Rappelling karke jab hum log upar se neeche utre to humare shirt ke collar apne aap khade ho gaye the...seena garv ke karan 3-4 inch apne aap chauda ho gaya tha...
"shuru me meri neeche utarne me gand fat rahi thi lekin ab bahut aasan lag raha hai...ab to main aankh band karke pahad ke upari hisse se neeche zameen par aa jaun..."raubdar aawaz ke sath Saurabh ne apni badayi ki....
.
"ab kidhar chalne ka plan hai...Arman bhai..."Rappelling wali jagah se jab hum log bahut aage aa gaye to pandey ji ne puchha...jabki jawab wo pahle se janta tha....
"nadiya ke paar..."
"warden ne dekh liya to..."Pandey ji ne apni shanka jahir ki..
"ek kaam kar tu mat ja...har baar nek kaam karne se pahle us manhoos ka naam lena jaroori hai kya..." "main to bas aise hee puchh raha tha ,Arman bhai...naraj kyun hote ho "
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Humare sath-sath warden khud bhi shayad yah janta tha ki hum log uske mana karne ke bawjood aaj bhi pull ke us paar jayenge,isiliye usne aaj subah hum me se kisi ko nahi toka tha...hum log Pull par chadhe to Sulabh ne pull me idhar-udhar baithkar ras-leela kar rahe premi jodo ko pareshan karne ki farmaish ki...lekin Sulabh ke siwa hum me se kisi aur ka aisa karne ka bilkul bhi man nahi tha,isliye humne premi jodo ko pareshan karne ka ye plan drop kiya aur seedhe pull ke uspar pahuche....
.
"coffee house bhi nahi ja sakte,warna yadi wo waiter hume pahchan gaya to lafda kar dega...."Pull ke dusari taraf pahuchkar maine kaha...
"kyun...Angelina ne bill to bhara hee hoga na kal..."
"bill bhale hee Angelina ne bhar diya ho..lekin bina bill pay kiye hum log waha se bhage the ye mat bhool aur mera sixth sense kahta hai ki humare waha jane se koyi locha ho sakta hai...."
is tarah humne coffee house ke andar jane ka bhi plan drop kiya aur idhar udhar najar mari to ek chhoti si dukan dikhi...jo coffee house se thodi door me thi.
"sabko ek-ek chay pilana bhaiya..."order dekar jab hum log andar ghusne lage to dang rah gaye...kyunki waha andar Kallu,Kanghi chor...samose ki plate hath me pakad kar sarpat khaye ja raha tha,.....
"ye bhi bhagta hai...yakin nahi hota..."bolte hue Arun Kallu ke bagal me baitha aur jor se us kanghichor ki
peeth thapthapayi...jisase uske hath se samose ka plate seedhe zameen me aa gira....
"sale, ab iske paise kya tera baap dega...."Kallu bhaiya ke hath se jab unke samose ka plate chhut kar zameen par gir gaya to wo ekdum se Arun ke upar bhadak utha, bina iski parvah kiye ki uski pelayi bhi ho sakti hai....
"sorry.."Arun bola...
tab tak hum sabke hath me chay ka cup bhi aa chuka tha .chay bahut garam thi isliye Arun ne chay ka cup side me rakha taki thodi thandi hone ke baad pee sake....is beech Us kallu ,kanghi chor ko pata nahi kya hua ,jo usne Arun ka cup uthaya aur puri chay zameen me gira kar cup wapas pahle wali jagah par rakhte hue bola"sorry...."
.
Us kallu ,kanghi chor ki ye harkat dekhkar hum sabka dil, muh ko aa gaya...aankhe jaise yakin hee nahi kar pa rahi thi ki kuchh der pahle jo scene unhone dekha wo sach tha ya phhir ek bhram tha...us kallu kanghi chor ,par gussa to hum sabhi ko aaya tha,lekin hum sab chahte the ki iski shuruat Arun kare..... "Teri maa ki..."bolte hue Arun ne aav na dekh taav, aur seedha apna hath Kallu ke kan par chhod diya.... "tum log group me ho isliye mujhe mar rahe ho..."nam aawaz ke sath Kallu ne kaha....
"sale ,Kalicharan...teri gand me itni himmat ki tu mujhse ladega...MC ,aukat me raha kar,warna sari hekadi do minute me nikal dunga...BC hostel me kuchh bolte nahi hai to sochta hai ki tujhse darte hai...dobara yadi kabhi aisa kiya to jaha chhed dikhega wahi lund dalunga aur aankh ,kan,naak,muh
,gand sab kuchh fad dalunga...BC,chutiya sala..."
.
Is ghatna ke baad humare Kalicharan sahab ek pal bhi waha nahi ruke aur bina paise diye hee waha se chal diye....dukan wale ne kallu ko aawaz bhi lagayi,lekin wo nahi ruka....us thele wale se maine aas-paas kahi daru ki dukan hai ya nahi...ye puchha, jiske jawab me mujhe maloom chala ki yaha se kuchh doori par ek bar hai...
"ek bar,is jungle me...."
"bar matlab wahi na jaha sharab bahut mahngi milti hai aur bade-bade gharano ki ladkiya chhote-chhote kapde pahan kar apni ijjat daan karti hai...."
"haan...usi ko bar kahte hai..."uski baat ka matlab samajhkar maine kaha"yaha aas-paas koyi chhoti-moti daru ki dukan nahi hai kya..."
"idhar to kuchh bhi nahi hai ,bas wahi ek bar hai..." "kitna door hoga yaha se..."
"yadi paidal chale to yahi koyi 15-20 minute lagenge...lekin andar nahi ja paoge bhau..." "andar kyun nahi ja paunga...."
"kyunki udhar jane ke vaste ladki sath me hona mangta aur andar jane ke liye paisa bhi bahut lagta hai...."
"wo sab humari pareshani hai ,aap ye batao ki jana kis direction me hai..."
Us thele wale ne hume bar jane ka rasta bataya,jiske baad hum log wapas apne camp ki taraf badh gaye...
.
"abhi se camp jakar kya karenge ,Arman bhai...abhi to sirf 1 baje hai aur warden ne 4 baje tak aane ko kaha hai, yahi ki apne paas abhi full 3 ghante hai...."Pull par chalte hue Rajshri Pandey bola....
"camp kaun ja raha hai,hum log to wapas left side jakar ,MBBS college ki ladkiyo ko tadenge...sali kya maal dikhti hai ,figure to puchho mat...dekhte hee lund khada ho jata hai..."
"Arman ,tune bataya nahi ki Abdul kalam se tune kya baat ki thi..."turant topic change karke Arun ne
puchha...lekin main Arun se kuchh kahta usase pahle hee Saurabh bol utha ki main fake raha hoon aur bakiyo ne bhi uska sath diya....
"abey yadi yakin nahi aata to jakar khud Kalam ji se puchh ya phhir Google me search mar le ki Kalam ji kabhi NLU(National Law Institute),Bhopal aaye the ya nahi...aur jab yakin ho jaye ki wo waha aaye the to phhir mere college jana aur mere Principal se puchhna...."
"chal be,hume sirf itna hee kaam bacha hai kya jo tere college jaye...""phhir ek kaam karo...tum sab gand marao...sale khud ki jitni aukat hai utni meri bhi samajhte ho..." "o ...Arman udhar dekh..."phhir se topic change karte hue Arun bola"tera goggle ,wo MBBS wali item pahan kar ghoom rahi hai,lekin tera goggle uske paas kaise aaya...sali chotti..."
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