Long Distance is a Bitch by shiprat

[Ramesh_Rocky]

"I think of you as a great friend too, Dustin. And I got caught up in the moment too." I admitted.

"So why have you been avoiding me? Not returning my calls?"

"It has nothing to do.....well it has only a little to do with what happened that night. I've been preoccupied with issues related to Parag."

"What kind of issues? Talk to me. It'll help you feel better if you vent."

"The last time I vented......" I said and smiled. He smiled back sheepishly.

"It was just in the heat of the moment. We're both adults. You can talk to me. Don't you think I am your friend?"

"Of course I do."

"Then let's talk."

I looked around.

"Here?"

"No, of course not here!" he said and opened the door. I stepped out. A couple of grad students walking by looked at us and smiled. I looked away from them. Thank heavens they weren't Indian, or this would be the talk of diaspora!

"I need to pick up some printouts. And finish a paper. When does your shift end?"

"Nine."

"I will be done by 9:30. I'll meet you in the lobby. This time, let's actually go to the bar you were going to take me to last time and talk. I could use a drink or five."

Two hours later, we were sitting in the bar on Cedar. It really was nice and quiet, with reasonably priced drinks. Dustin was having whiskey and coke. I was having a cosmo. And I was telling him the entire saga about Parag. Dustin listened quietly, like he always did, offering the appropriate inputs and sympathies along the way. By the time I was done narrating the story, we were both on out third drinks.

"And that's the whole fucking mess." I concluded.

"That is very messed up." Dustin nodded. "So what next? Do you think he's going to break up with you? Is that what he meant by 'not 'yet'?"

"I don't know. I think he might be."

"What do you want?"

"What do I want? Some peace of mind would be good."

"Yes, but do you want this relationship to continue? Do you love him?"

I thought about the question for almost a minute, finishing my third cosmo for the night.

"I am not so sure. I do love him. And I have always thought of him as the guy I want to spend my life with. But I am not as sure as I was back in India. This long distance relationship has shown me a whole new side of him. A petty side. An insecure side."

"He does seem to have some sort of an inferiority complex, based on what you tell me."

"I know!"

"Is he right? Have you always been the 'star' in the relationship?"

"Well...I suppose so. But it's because I am more outgoing than him. Not that he's a wallflower. But yes, in public, I do get a lot more attention than him."

"And you are at a better school than him, with better grades...."

"Yes."

"You might end up getting a better job than him. Possibly a better paying one."

"It's possible."

"Are you okay with being with a guy who earns less than you?"

"Of course I am!"

"Do you see him okay being with a woman who is better than him in every respect? Do you think his ego can handle it?"

I stared at Dustin. He had articulated the crucial question perfectly. Was Parag up to it? Is that what he was coming to terms with in this mini-break he had enforced on our relationship?