29-11-2020, 06:26 AM
33.4
Kavita
I got puzzled in her changed behaviour. What she said was totally wrong. There must be something wrong. Manu can never deceive anybody. I screamed in unknown fear, “Please Jaya. You must be mistreated. He can’t deceive anybody. He is a good man in heart. I know him for years. He……”
Jaya intervened. I could feel the loath and bitterness in her voice, “Good man! Then you have no idea what he has disclosed about you.”
She questioned, “Just confirm me, had you been on pills since your marriage, so that you don’t get pregnant?
I opposed immediately, “No, never. I was never on pill. I love children. I wanted to be mother.”
She shied, “I know. I doubted from very beginning. He lied to me to gain my sympathy. He claimed that you had always evaded motherhood as you loathed him. He also claimed that from the beginning you wanted to settle with Prem and bear his children. He was a victim of your pervert sadistic mentality.”
I did not believe her. Manu could never say so. He knew very well his physical inadequacy and reason for my not getting pregnant. She must be playing with my mind. I kept on looking at her unbelieving. I could see some tear drops in her eyes. She controlled her sobbing and silently wiped her eyes.
Finally she broke down, “Please forgive me Kavita. I have mentally tortured you without knowing the truth. God will punish me. I have been duped. He has almost finished my life. He has played with my emotions. I have been ruined.”
It was my time to console her. I could not understand anything. She was weeping. Her whimper put me in squabble. I started thinking on what exactly Manu had done to her?
After a lot of persuasion, I could hear her broken voice occasionally choked in pain and disgust, “Its shame on me. I couldn’t share my pitiful distress with anybody. I met your husband almost five months back in my clinic. He appeared to be a mentally broken man dejected with life. He had decided to end his life when he met a Samaritan and was guided to me for consultation. On persistence he divulged his life history. The vivid description of your betrayal touched my heart. I could not believe that a wife could be so cruel. I tried to pacify him and promised to find a solution.”
“I continued his treatment. I was so overwhelmed on his stalemate that I arranged for his accommodation. I did make a mistake. I accommodate him in deep Himalayas away from localities. Slowly he regained his mental composure. I advised him to lodge a security officer complaint. He refused. He was not ready to harm you. He wanted you to be happy. My heart melted in sympathy. I could see a genuine kind-hearted person suffering from immoral activities of a depraved wife. I could oversee the greatness of a person ready to sacrifice his life for his wife.”
“The more I listened to his life story, the more I started hating you. He described how you have cheated on him. He was misused by you for his wealth and social status. You had never loved him. You and Prem were lover since college days. You both had physical relationship before marriage and did not disclose to him. You had been forced into marriage and were waiting for right opportunity to emasculate him. Even you had kept him sexually deprived.”
“During your stay in US itself you appeared to be addicted to extramarital relationship. He had no definite proof but he was certain based on your dressing and attitude towards other hunks. He believed beyond doubt that you had taken advantage of his long duty hours. You had no appetite for sex from him as you were getting physical satisfaction elsewhere. He thought, a child could change the situation and help in improving of relationship. It never happened as you managed to ward off pregnancy. Unable to control you in US, he was forced to relocate in India. He thought, you would change in conducive, affectionate environment of your parents. He claimed, you refused to relocate in Mumbai and Delhi, as near proximity of his parents or your parents could hindrance to your extramarital addiction. You threatened dire consequences and forced him to accept Bangalore, a good distance away from both the parents.”
I kept on looking at her open mouthed. My memory started processing the inputs. What she was claiming was true and false. It was hard to believe that Manu had told her all above. But then how could she know all above unless Manu divulged?
“In Bangalore, it seems you continued your carnal activities with Arun, your immediate neighbour. He had overheard Arun claiming of sleeping with you regularly. Your husband had indirectly objected considering his social status.He was getting mental trauma and was afraid of exposure even at his workplace. He tried his best to prevail upon your good senses. Finally, after repeated failures, he thought to call his parents to stop your extramarital liaison.”
My memory worked extra to assess the inputs. Arun said so, that Arun whom I had expunged of his heinous behaviour. I should have taken care and informed Manu about Arun and his lewd behaviour. I did not inform Manu not to increase his anxiety. He was already overburdened with his performance issues. I also thought of Arun’s young age and not to punish him. I only reprimanded him on that day. I should have punished him. He had taken revenge of my refusal.
“Heaven broke it seems. To make your husband straight and teach him a good lesion you invited your boy-friend. Even you did not bother to inform him earlier. All of a sudden, he was crushed under a hurricane named Prem. Mayhem started. You started torturing him physically and mentally with the help of Prem. Your husband was forced to accept sissy dressing and was forced to carry out household activities while you both were enjoying outings. He was being treated like a bonded labour. Initial days, he was forced to wait outside main door during your love making with Prem. He claimed that your lovemaking sounds were clearly audible from outside. Even on holidays, you had asked him to vacate house on pretext of purchasing eggs paving the way for your copulation.”
I could not keep my face up listening to my unforgivable crime. I was under sexual drugs effect. I was being blackmailed. I attempted to stop her. I attempted to give excuse of my abnormal behaviour. Jaya stopped my efforts waving her hand.
“Please listen to me Kavita. Let me finish first. Then, I will listen to you. As I was telling, the matter did not end here. To settle the issues squarely, you instigated your boyfriend to break his hand. Without bothering for physical and emotional turmoil of a handicapped person, you both continued his humiliating tortures. On sexual front, you elevated yourself. You shifted to Prem’s bedroom as his live-in partner. To add salt to his wounds, you had placed bed lamp keeping the bedroom door open during your copulation. You encouraged him to witness your fellatio. Your husband claimed that he had broken down on your inhuman attitude and requested for mercy repeatedly. In return you called Gowri and engaged in threesome and lesbianism.”
I sensed an irresistible pressure to divulge my inebriated conditions. I made another failed attempt to intervene her.
“Your husband claimed that his psychological torture continued unabated. None of his pleadings were reaching your deaf ears. He also claimed that you had decided not to give him divorce and to bear Prem’s baby. Unable to withstand your brutal, immoral attack, finally he had decided to end his life. What made him select Hardwar to end his life I was not sure. He escaped his death paving the way for my death. He fooled me with his simple appearance. I started believing him. I made a visit to Delhi, to his parents, to keep them informed. They were very happy getting his information. They had knowledge of your culpable offence. They blessed me for my efforts while loathed you for your despicable behaviour. I construed his life story as true. They indicated their approval of me as future wife of their only son. I returned back to Hardwar in jovial mood.”
The revelation of Jaya shocked me. I silently joined Manu’s parents to thank Jaya for saving his life. It was natural for them to select Jaya for their son aftermath of by debacle. This also explained, why they did not make any efforts to contact me aftermath.
“I had to meet him regularly to check progress of his recovery.I increased my frequency of visit. We made long stride in the woods. I continued listening to his life story. His vivid description of cruelty incurred upon him made me weak. When my sympathy changed to love I didn’t know. He was a handsome, well behaved person. He was intelligent, sober in behaviour. I fell in love with him. Initially, it started with my holding his hand to give him comfort. Slowly I started comforting him hugging. His intoxicating male aroma was taking away my restraint. I was losing my composure. Then one day, in the woods, while we were gossiping sitting side by side, he kissed me.”
She put her head down as if to hid herself from surroundings.
I listened to her painful confession, “I lost to myself. I believed him. First time somebody kissed me. I melted in internal desire. I resigned to my physical urge. He took me in his arms. First time I was embraced by a man. I trembled in his warmth. He continued kissing and touching my sensitive areas. His hands were traveling places where I myself dared to visit. I had no track of time when he guided me behind bushes on a flat rock. I surrendered myself to him. He was touching me everywhere; he was feeling me above my clothes. He was fondling me.His fingers and lips were playing with my body.I lost all my resistance power. I had no sense when he undressed me.His every touch was making me shiver. His every move was making me mad. He showed me what a physical pleasure was. He demonstrated what a man can give to woman. What I preserved for my future husband, I lost to him. He converted me to his woman. He took my virginity.”She was sobbing in inconsolable whimper.
Not knowing what to do, I had kept on looking at her bemused. She was sexually abused by a person none other than by my husband. It was not an abuse. But it was breaking of trust. Their physical relationship was not unknown to me. I had witnessed their carnal pleasure; still I felt a piercing pain in my heart, unknown to me. It was not his fault. I was the reason behind. I had kept him deprived of sex day by day. I had knowledge of his masturbation. I remained unmoved.
After gaining some control she shared her most diabolical state. She almost whispered, “Then after, he continued making love to me. I was not worried. Considering your diabolical relationship, his marriage had no moral value. I had approval of his parents. I surrendered myself wholeheartedly to him. We met in the woods in open, in guest house and even in the same room where you are staying presently. Being a doctor by profession also, I had made a great mistake. Two months back, once, I forgot to take precaution. Unfortunately, I got pregnant!”
It was impossible. I knew, it was impossible. I panted in disbelief, “No Jaya no. It’s impossible. There must be something wrong. You are not telling truth.”
Jaya lifted her tearful face in astonishment. In slow but determined voice she questioned, “What is impossible? What is not true, Kavita? My pregnancy or involvement of your husband, which one do you doubt?”
She waited looking at my wide eyes and explained, “I could have been happy if I was wrong. How can I deny medical reports? Twice I tested and both time reports came positive. You can check the final report.” She fetched some paper from her bag and pushed to me, “You see yourself. I have missed two consecutive periods. How can I deny?” She put her face down again.
Still I could not believe my ears. My husband had made Jaya pregnant! He could not make me pregnant in four years but Jaya got pregnant so easily. I knew I had no medical problems. Was she lying? But why should she lie on such sensitive issues? Could it be possible that she got pregnant by somebody and blaming my husband? What would be her motive? I continued asking self all possible questions.
Jaya lifted her head after a long. I could see tears flowing on her cheek. She murmured in pale gusty voice, “I can understand your mental condition. You did not get pregnant in four years but I…, shame on me. Even before marriage, Oh my God! What have I done? Believe me, Kavita, I am not lying.Why should I lie when DNA test of my baby can pinpoint fatherhood? Every woman knows for sure the identity of father of her child. I have received him in my body. His seeds entered my body to fertilize my eggs. My silly mistake had put me in distress. What should I do now?’
She was searching answer to her question on my face. She shook her head vehemently before answering herself, “Motherhood, a life time achievement for any woman. I also had a lot of dreams! My child! My blood! He will grow inside my body. I will feel him growing inside me then in my lap. I will play with him. Everything shattered in my foolishness. The very cause of endless joyfulness has turned into an event of endless nightmare. I could no longer deny your husband in my life. I could not marry him as he was not divorced. I knew getting divorce was not easy and time consuming. Mutual divorce could be settled earlier, but needed your approval. Only solution looming around me was abortion!” She started weeping again.
I shrieked in pain internally at the revelation of Jaya. I wanted to shout, “No Jaya no. Its sin. Never go for abortion. I will take the child.” Nothing came out of my mouth. My voice choked in unknown pressure. Only, my lips flipped in anticipation.
I witnessed her hapless panting, “I was devastated. My first child! What was his mistake? He is growing here, ”Jaya affectionately placed her hand on her belly, “Abortion was not acceptable to me. Death was preferable to me than abortion. I was not ready to kill a life for my comfort. Society also would not accept motherhood of an unwed woman. Being connected with orphanage, life of an illegitimate child is very much known to me. Under dire consequence, I decided to meet you and explain my situation. I reached Bangalore all alone for the first time. I did plan to meet you alone during absence of Prem and Gowri while they were in office. I observed you were staying with Gowri and joined an office. You were setting forth for office in the morning together and returning together in the evening. I got my first shock when I could not locate Prem anywhere. I could not get your free access from Gowri’s association. I changed my plan and met Gowri in her office.”
She sighed, “Obviously I could not tell her real reasons of my visit. She is a very simple and gentle woman. I am really sorry to deceive her. I pretended to be a mediator between you and Manu. She was ecstatic. She really loves you both from deep of her heart. She was ready to help me for your reunion with your husband. I had a series of setback from Gowri’s disclosures. The first was she vehemently denied of any threesome or lesbianism relationship as claimed by Manu. All three of you were forced to spend night in same room on Manu’s insistence. She painfully accepted that Manu was found to be eavesdropping and even served coffee in bedroom. She accepted some cuckoldry scenario for which you & Gowri had consulted Dr. Preethi and the matter had been settled. Initially, she also presumed Manu was a cuckold by his attitude and behaviour which got cleared by Dr. Preethi. However, she accepted aberration in behaviour on part of Manu. He had arranged for party dinner and decorated bedroom for first night celebrations which perplexed her. She accepted about his mental eccentricity and always doubted his wife. She had witnessed Manu behaving like a pimp. He enjoyed sadistic pleasure by thinking Prem as his wife’s lover. She claimed that she had witnessed him encouraging you to go for a date with Prem in scanty dress. She inquired; why a normal husband would decorate bedroom for his wife’s lover? She believed Manu was suffering with some kind of mental disorder.”
Clearly Gowri had exaggerated to safeguard my honour. I could not think further to keep pace with Jaya.
“She was addressing you as Didi.On specific query, Gowri was in all praise for you. She was jovial in expressing your love for your husband. Painfully, I got answers of my nightmare. You had always taken care of your husband. Even during forced outings, you had always arranged for his food. You had accepted help in household activities from your husband only on his insistence. You loved your husband more than your life and she never believed any extramarital relationship between you and Prem. Her vivid expression clearly established your innocence. She accepted sissy dressing tendency by Manu but denied your participation. Gowri had observed in person that Manu was a fetish and took interest in dressing in women clothes of his own.”
I concluded in my mind. Jaya was not telling lie. Her discussion with Gowri was known to me but not in so depth. Gowri only veered little from truth for my sake, for my pride.
“And the final blow came. I’m sorry. It’s very unfortunate. I should not have mentioned here.Gowri asked, if at all Prem and Didi had any consensual physical relationship, why Prem had to raape Didi? Didi was almost on the verge of death. She opined that Prem could have been invited by your husband. She did not tell directly, but her gesture was enough for me to understand. She was indicating of some psychological disorder of your husband.”
“Gowri’s revelation was a major setback for me. It was clearly opposite of what Manu had narrated. If Gowri was to be believed, Manu was a psychosis.I was ruined. It was certain that, I had believed a psychosis. There was no specific reason for Gowri to falsify.With skepticism, I approved her revelations as truth and accepted your love for your husband. I decided to crosscheck with you. Pretending consultancy with you, I begged two days’ time from Gowri. She agreed for outstation visit to pave my way to meet you alone. She did not suspect me. She loved you so much!”
“Circumstantial evidences were indicating the sadist mentality of your husband. Only hope I had that Gowri could be wrong in her statement. I had to crosscheck your attitude. I rushed back to Hardwar to plan next move. I did not disclose anything to Manu. I wanted your reaction in presence of Manu. I wanted to discover truth behind. I decided to bring Manu along with me during next visit to Bangalore. He refused to visit with Prem’s presence. I manipulated him promising sending Prem out during our visit. He was seeking revenge against you. He manipulated me in turn. He encouraged me to exaggerate and show off my intimacy with him in your presence. The need of the hour was to break your psychological barrier and obtain divorce. I was convinced that once my intimate relationship with your husband is made known to you, probably you won’t deny mutual divorce. I had still faith on Manu. I loved him!”
“As planned, I landed in Bangalore second time with your husband. I had two agenda. First to cross check your love for your husband and second one was to motivate your husband for seeking divorce. I humiliated you. I made a show off. Manu found out your used clothes and manipulated me to wear and parade in your presence. I wanted you to loath us. I did not object to reach my goal.You also did not object. Even you did not object him sharing my bedroom. Manu was constantly inquiring about Prem & Gowri. I could not disclose your sexual violation. Next day afternoon, I made a story of Prem-Gowri honeymoon trip leaving you behind. Due to financial crunch, you had been forced into working. I observed his contemptible reactions. Revelation of your pitfall condition did not perturb him. He was very happy on your punishment. I should have understood by then that he was a shylock.”
Jaya’s revelation flashed in my brain. He was partly aware of my hardship, still he remained aloof! It clearly indicated that he did not love me. Then why did he cover me with blanket? Why did he return me all his properties?
Jaya’s continuance forced me from memory travel, “I behaved like a moron. I ignored the truth. I continued my humiliation to you in order to establish Manu’s claim. Instead, I could observe your love for your husband. I saw you crying in pain but never uttered a single word against your husband. I observed your silent begging in your eyes while he never looked at you. You prepared food for his choice. On my second night at your house, I had witnessed your heart-breaking panting calling his name. My illusion on your love shattered. I could see a devoted wife ready to suffer anything for her husband. I could see shadow of Mona’s mother in you. You didn’t believe me, isn’t it? That night, I only folded your scattered clothes, I only covered you with blanket, you may remember. You took utmost care for his comfort. Even after being humiliated so much, you were concerned for his pride and reputation. You were afraid of Gowri discovering your husband in immoral relationship.You begged me for his honour. I could not break your heart. Your obsession with love for your husband touched my heart. I was defeated in front of your love.I could not press for divorce. I could not tell you my abysmal conditions.”
The mystery of blanket and folded sari was over. Painfully, I acknowledged my mistake of giving credit to Manu.
“I was loathing myself; I was loathing your husband. I was jealous of you and your devotion & love. Still I had thin doubt in my mind. Did he really cook up stories to dupe me? Could there be other women also who were duped by him? I wanted to cross check and take appropriate decision. I wanted to be certain that your love was genuine and not construed by presence of your husband. I had also a doubt on how you could not get pregnant in four years whereas I got impregnated by your husband within short time. Was he right that you deliberately avoided pregnancy or it could be due to some medical problems on your part? He was so certain that you were carrying Prem’s baby.To ascertain, I needed you at Hardwar, at my place.”
“That day after departing from your house, I managed to meet Prem in security officer station. He was in all praise for you while he loathed Manu. He accepted that he was flabbergasted seeing your loyalty to your husband. He denied sleeping with you before marriage. You were just a good friend of his. He confirmed, he was invited by Manu. He was repenting for accepting Manu’s invitation. From day one of his reach, Manu was pushing you to his bedroom and you were vehemently rejecting. He had witnessed Manu torturing you for not obeying him. Finally, you had relented to shift to Prem’s room. Prem was forced to engage in role playing for satisfaction of Manu at your request. You only requested Prem to tolerate to keep your husband in control.But he had never touched you. Prem accepted of bullying Manu many times to correct his corrupt mentality. He made many attempts to vacate your house only to drop by sincere request from Manu.Your husband was a psychopath. Prem claimed, he had seen many times Manu was punishing himself.”
I could not withstand anymore. I shouted, “Please Jaya, stop. Prem had lied to you.”
Jaya stopped me. “Please Kavita, let me finish first. I will listen to you afterwards.”
“I finally asked Prem, what made him commit such heinous crime of raaping somebody. He was crying profusely. What I understood that on that day Manu was beyond control. He was forcing you to have sexwith Prem in his presence. He was begging Prem to impregnate his wife. You had seemed lost control on his dreadful proposition and first time thrashed your husband. First time you had sought divorce and forced him out of house. Manu left but your anger fell on Prem. You blamed Prem for everything. You started punishing Prem. You were slapping and hitting him left and right. Prem accepted of losing temper and made the mistake instigated by your brutal behaviour.”
Jaya stopped my attempt to intervene and forced me listen to Prem’s fabricated and corrupted statement.
Jaya was sobbing, “I returned to Hardwar devastated. I forced Manu to reveal his true character with my renewed knowledge. He accepted his crimes. He accepted that he was suffering from Psychotic disorders. Psychotic disorders are severe mental disorders that cause abnormal thinking and perceptions. People with psychoses lose touch with reality. Two of the main symptoms are delusions and hallucinations. He accepted that whatever he had told about you was his delusions and hallucinations. He even accepted of abusing you with sexual drugs to satisfy his perverse mentality.”
I screamed, “Don’t believe him. He has lied.”
Jaya interrupted me again. She pleaded, “Please Kavita, I won’t take much time. Just give me a few minutes.As I was telling, he confessed everything and sought forgiveness.He accepted of his pervert fantasy of desiring his wife being taken and impregnated by others in front of his eyes. It was end of my life. There was no question of marrying him. I wanted to save you from his clutch.He agreed to give you freedom. I made him prepare mutual divorce papers.I made him agree to transfer house deed and money in your name. I wanted him to confess, apologize and hand over documents to you personally.He agreed. I was right outside of your apartment society, when he met you on Saturday.”
My head was spinning. My husband was taking revenge. He was shouldering my crimes on himself. He was sacrificing his life for me!
Jaya took my hands in her. Apologetically, she conferred, “I could not believe that a wife could make such sacrifices for her husband. You are enigmatic. I was curious on your love. I did not expect you, when you arrived. I forced a brave face to hide my embarrassment. Immediately, I put you on medical check up to ensure. I was afraid you also could be pregnant. I was happy you were not. I put you under test for possible ill effects of sex drugs. In the meantime, I wanted to check myself about your depth of love.I subjected you under humiliation to observe your reaction. I tested you with stories of Wanda and Mona to test your mental inclination. I could not find any mental aberration or lack of love for your husband. I am sorry, for creating pain in you. If possible, please forgive me. Today I received final medical report. I am happy that you are absolutely free of any medical problems.”
She got up from her seat. Tears were rolling through her cheek. In croaky voice she pleaded, “I don’t find any justifications to holding you captive here. You can proceed tomorrow morning. If possible, forgive me for my cruel behaviour.”
She attempted leaving. I stopped her in desperation. I lamented, “What about my husband? What are you doing with him? Can he accompany me?”
She stopped and wiped her eyes. She looked at my face for a long time. I could observe a distinct change on her face. It hardened. Her smile changed into a crooked one. She hissed, “He has ruined my life. He has ruined the future of my unborn child. I can’t let him go. He deserves punishment. I will give him punishment.”
I trembled in fear. I begged, “Please Jaya, I beg your mercy. He is not a bad man. Please don’t harm him. I’m ready to do anything you want.”
She roared, “What about my child? I may have to abort. Do you have any idea of abortion? It’s killing a life. I’m sorry, Kavita. I can’t honour your request.” She attempted to leave again.
I fell on her feet. I wailed, “I understand the pain of a mother. Please don’t go for abortion. You give me your child. I will take care whatever way you desire. I won’t make any claim.”
She stopped and looked at me astonished. She wailed, “Are you mad Kavita. You have no idea of what are you talking about. The child growing inside me is carrying his blood. In future, he also will face Psychotic disorders like his father. I can’t allow my child face hell in this world.”
Without leaving her feet I pleaded again, “You are wrong. My husband is not Psychoses. He is punishing himself. He is innocent.”
Jaya shouted, “Enough is enough Kavita. Stop begging. He has confessed his crime. I envy your love. But you know the truth. Let him face the truth.”
I pleaded, “I know the truth. Believe me, he is a good man. He has done a mistake. Please forgive him. Believe me, whatever he said about me are mostly true. I’m only responsible for his scathed behaviour.Please don’t harm my husband.”
Jaya scolded, “Come-on Kavita. Don’t behave like an uncultured, uneducated woman. Why are you afraid? I understand motive of economically battered, illiterate women. You are not. You have some responsibility for the society. Try to understand, your husband is great threat to mankind. People like him do not deserve any mercy.”
I pleaded, “Please try to understand me. I know he has done unpardonable crime against you. I’m only responsible. I deserve punishment. Please release him. I beg you.”
She growled, “Don’t beg for that scoundrel Kavita. He deserves no mercy. Don’t make false statement to save an antisocial. Try to understand, he is a threat to me, to you and to society as a whole. Don’t downgrade yourself. I know you are a good-nature woman. Don’t take blame on yourself.”
Softly with determination I said, “I’m not taking blame on me purposefully. I must confess the truth. Please listen to my story. I’m only to be blamed for his downfall.”
In filthy voice she screeched, “I know the women of your nature. Mona’s mother made mistake blindly loving her husband. She had to pay with her life. You are pitifully obsessed. I know, you can sacrifice everything for your love. You will make stories to safeguard your husband. I’m not interested to listen to your cock and bull story”
I begged, “You have only told me of Wanda story. You only told that it is wrong to judge by one sided story. You have listened to my husband; you have listened to Gowri and Prem. Please listen to me. I beg to you, after listening to my life story, you decide. I promise not to interfere, if you still decide my husband is guilty, you punish him. You had accepted me as your friend. Have some mercy on your friend, at least once.”
Jaya stood firm for some time. Slowly, she eased herself from her hard stand. She affirmed, “I had promised and accepted you as my friend. I won’t break my promise. I will listen to your account.”
Jaya remained silent for a long period. With adding an air of solidarity, she announced, “I am not promising you anything. You get only one chance. You are not going to create stories. You must give your authentic statement and no assumptions. If I find you fooling me around safeguarding your husband, consequences will be serious. Think before you proceed. Remember, you won’t get a second chance to rectify yourself.”
I shook my head in affirmative. There were no justifications for becoming elusive. The very purpose of my unwarranted action had backfired. Life of my husband was in danger. I had miserably failed in my attempts safeguarding esteem of my husband. I had no hesitation in confirming my motive. I had caused more trouble for him. Jaya appeared to be stubborn. She could implicate my husband in many ways. My one mistake had caused him immense pain and sufferings. I was afraid to cause more.
I decided to accept my crime. Slowly I stood on my feet, “Please excuse me, I will be back.” I excused myself to freshen up. Maybe, I wanted to take some break before final assault. I refreshed all my memories before joining Jaya in balcony.
Jaya was patiently waiting. “No deviation from truth, OK.” She switched off the light.
Immediately, the darkness engulfed around us. It was drizzling outside at slow pace, a continuous one. Except the sound of droplets falling on the leaves and flowing water at Ganges, silence prevailed. There was rain in my mind, in my heart. I could listen to the relentless heartbeat of mine. All the sound mixed together created a resonance in my brain. I got energized to reveal the truth.
I took my time to confess.
End of Chapter 33
Kavita
I got puzzled in her changed behaviour. What she said was totally wrong. There must be something wrong. Manu can never deceive anybody. I screamed in unknown fear, “Please Jaya. You must be mistreated. He can’t deceive anybody. He is a good man in heart. I know him for years. He……”
Jaya intervened. I could feel the loath and bitterness in her voice, “Good man! Then you have no idea what he has disclosed about you.”
She questioned, “Just confirm me, had you been on pills since your marriage, so that you don’t get pregnant?
I opposed immediately, “No, never. I was never on pill. I love children. I wanted to be mother.”
She shied, “I know. I doubted from very beginning. He lied to me to gain my sympathy. He claimed that you had always evaded motherhood as you loathed him. He also claimed that from the beginning you wanted to settle with Prem and bear his children. He was a victim of your pervert sadistic mentality.”
I did not believe her. Manu could never say so. He knew very well his physical inadequacy and reason for my not getting pregnant. She must be playing with my mind. I kept on looking at her unbelieving. I could see some tear drops in her eyes. She controlled her sobbing and silently wiped her eyes.
Finally she broke down, “Please forgive me Kavita. I have mentally tortured you without knowing the truth. God will punish me. I have been duped. He has almost finished my life. He has played with my emotions. I have been ruined.”
It was my time to console her. I could not understand anything. She was weeping. Her whimper put me in squabble. I started thinking on what exactly Manu had done to her?
After a lot of persuasion, I could hear her broken voice occasionally choked in pain and disgust, “Its shame on me. I couldn’t share my pitiful distress with anybody. I met your husband almost five months back in my clinic. He appeared to be a mentally broken man dejected with life. He had decided to end his life when he met a Samaritan and was guided to me for consultation. On persistence he divulged his life history. The vivid description of your betrayal touched my heart. I could not believe that a wife could be so cruel. I tried to pacify him and promised to find a solution.”
“I continued his treatment. I was so overwhelmed on his stalemate that I arranged for his accommodation. I did make a mistake. I accommodate him in deep Himalayas away from localities. Slowly he regained his mental composure. I advised him to lodge a security officer complaint. He refused. He was not ready to harm you. He wanted you to be happy. My heart melted in sympathy. I could see a genuine kind-hearted person suffering from immoral activities of a depraved wife. I could oversee the greatness of a person ready to sacrifice his life for his wife.”
“The more I listened to his life story, the more I started hating you. He described how you have cheated on him. He was misused by you for his wealth and social status. You had never loved him. You and Prem were lover since college days. You both had physical relationship before marriage and did not disclose to him. You had been forced into marriage and were waiting for right opportunity to emasculate him. Even you had kept him sexually deprived.”
“During your stay in US itself you appeared to be addicted to extramarital relationship. He had no definite proof but he was certain based on your dressing and attitude towards other hunks. He believed beyond doubt that you had taken advantage of his long duty hours. You had no appetite for sex from him as you were getting physical satisfaction elsewhere. He thought, a child could change the situation and help in improving of relationship. It never happened as you managed to ward off pregnancy. Unable to control you in US, he was forced to relocate in India. He thought, you would change in conducive, affectionate environment of your parents. He claimed, you refused to relocate in Mumbai and Delhi, as near proximity of his parents or your parents could hindrance to your extramarital addiction. You threatened dire consequences and forced him to accept Bangalore, a good distance away from both the parents.”
I kept on looking at her open mouthed. My memory started processing the inputs. What she was claiming was true and false. It was hard to believe that Manu had told her all above. But then how could she know all above unless Manu divulged?
“In Bangalore, it seems you continued your carnal activities with Arun, your immediate neighbour. He had overheard Arun claiming of sleeping with you regularly. Your husband had indirectly objected considering his social status.He was getting mental trauma and was afraid of exposure even at his workplace. He tried his best to prevail upon your good senses. Finally, after repeated failures, he thought to call his parents to stop your extramarital liaison.”
My memory worked extra to assess the inputs. Arun said so, that Arun whom I had expunged of his heinous behaviour. I should have taken care and informed Manu about Arun and his lewd behaviour. I did not inform Manu not to increase his anxiety. He was already overburdened with his performance issues. I also thought of Arun’s young age and not to punish him. I only reprimanded him on that day. I should have punished him. He had taken revenge of my refusal.
“Heaven broke it seems. To make your husband straight and teach him a good lesion you invited your boy-friend. Even you did not bother to inform him earlier. All of a sudden, he was crushed under a hurricane named Prem. Mayhem started. You started torturing him physically and mentally with the help of Prem. Your husband was forced to accept sissy dressing and was forced to carry out household activities while you both were enjoying outings. He was being treated like a bonded labour. Initial days, he was forced to wait outside main door during your love making with Prem. He claimed that your lovemaking sounds were clearly audible from outside. Even on holidays, you had asked him to vacate house on pretext of purchasing eggs paving the way for your copulation.”
I could not keep my face up listening to my unforgivable crime. I was under sexual drugs effect. I was being blackmailed. I attempted to stop her. I attempted to give excuse of my abnormal behaviour. Jaya stopped my efforts waving her hand.
“Please listen to me Kavita. Let me finish first. Then, I will listen to you. As I was telling, the matter did not end here. To settle the issues squarely, you instigated your boyfriend to break his hand. Without bothering for physical and emotional turmoil of a handicapped person, you both continued his humiliating tortures. On sexual front, you elevated yourself. You shifted to Prem’s bedroom as his live-in partner. To add salt to his wounds, you had placed bed lamp keeping the bedroom door open during your copulation. You encouraged him to witness your fellatio. Your husband claimed that he had broken down on your inhuman attitude and requested for mercy repeatedly. In return you called Gowri and engaged in threesome and lesbianism.”
I sensed an irresistible pressure to divulge my inebriated conditions. I made another failed attempt to intervene her.
“Your husband claimed that his psychological torture continued unabated. None of his pleadings were reaching your deaf ears. He also claimed that you had decided not to give him divorce and to bear Prem’s baby. Unable to withstand your brutal, immoral attack, finally he had decided to end his life. What made him select Hardwar to end his life I was not sure. He escaped his death paving the way for my death. He fooled me with his simple appearance. I started believing him. I made a visit to Delhi, to his parents, to keep them informed. They were very happy getting his information. They had knowledge of your culpable offence. They blessed me for my efforts while loathed you for your despicable behaviour. I construed his life story as true. They indicated their approval of me as future wife of their only son. I returned back to Hardwar in jovial mood.”
The revelation of Jaya shocked me. I silently joined Manu’s parents to thank Jaya for saving his life. It was natural for them to select Jaya for their son aftermath of by debacle. This also explained, why they did not make any efforts to contact me aftermath.
“I had to meet him regularly to check progress of his recovery.I increased my frequency of visit. We made long stride in the woods. I continued listening to his life story. His vivid description of cruelty incurred upon him made me weak. When my sympathy changed to love I didn’t know. He was a handsome, well behaved person. He was intelligent, sober in behaviour. I fell in love with him. Initially, it started with my holding his hand to give him comfort. Slowly I started comforting him hugging. His intoxicating male aroma was taking away my restraint. I was losing my composure. Then one day, in the woods, while we were gossiping sitting side by side, he kissed me.”
She put her head down as if to hid herself from surroundings.
I listened to her painful confession, “I lost to myself. I believed him. First time somebody kissed me. I melted in internal desire. I resigned to my physical urge. He took me in his arms. First time I was embraced by a man. I trembled in his warmth. He continued kissing and touching my sensitive areas. His hands were traveling places where I myself dared to visit. I had no track of time when he guided me behind bushes on a flat rock. I surrendered myself to him. He was touching me everywhere; he was feeling me above my clothes. He was fondling me.His fingers and lips were playing with my body.I lost all my resistance power. I had no sense when he undressed me.His every touch was making me shiver. His every move was making me mad. He showed me what a physical pleasure was. He demonstrated what a man can give to woman. What I preserved for my future husband, I lost to him. He converted me to his woman. He took my virginity.”She was sobbing in inconsolable whimper.
Not knowing what to do, I had kept on looking at her bemused. She was sexually abused by a person none other than by my husband. It was not an abuse. But it was breaking of trust. Their physical relationship was not unknown to me. I had witnessed their carnal pleasure; still I felt a piercing pain in my heart, unknown to me. It was not his fault. I was the reason behind. I had kept him deprived of sex day by day. I had knowledge of his masturbation. I remained unmoved.
After gaining some control she shared her most diabolical state. She almost whispered, “Then after, he continued making love to me. I was not worried. Considering your diabolical relationship, his marriage had no moral value. I had approval of his parents. I surrendered myself wholeheartedly to him. We met in the woods in open, in guest house and even in the same room where you are staying presently. Being a doctor by profession also, I had made a great mistake. Two months back, once, I forgot to take precaution. Unfortunately, I got pregnant!”
It was impossible. I knew, it was impossible. I panted in disbelief, “No Jaya no. It’s impossible. There must be something wrong. You are not telling truth.”
Jaya lifted her tearful face in astonishment. In slow but determined voice she questioned, “What is impossible? What is not true, Kavita? My pregnancy or involvement of your husband, which one do you doubt?”
She waited looking at my wide eyes and explained, “I could have been happy if I was wrong. How can I deny medical reports? Twice I tested and both time reports came positive. You can check the final report.” She fetched some paper from her bag and pushed to me, “You see yourself. I have missed two consecutive periods. How can I deny?” She put her face down again.
Still I could not believe my ears. My husband had made Jaya pregnant! He could not make me pregnant in four years but Jaya got pregnant so easily. I knew I had no medical problems. Was she lying? But why should she lie on such sensitive issues? Could it be possible that she got pregnant by somebody and blaming my husband? What would be her motive? I continued asking self all possible questions.
Jaya lifted her head after a long. I could see tears flowing on her cheek. She murmured in pale gusty voice, “I can understand your mental condition. You did not get pregnant in four years but I…, shame on me. Even before marriage, Oh my God! What have I done? Believe me, Kavita, I am not lying.Why should I lie when DNA test of my baby can pinpoint fatherhood? Every woman knows for sure the identity of father of her child. I have received him in my body. His seeds entered my body to fertilize my eggs. My silly mistake had put me in distress. What should I do now?’
She was searching answer to her question on my face. She shook her head vehemently before answering herself, “Motherhood, a life time achievement for any woman. I also had a lot of dreams! My child! My blood! He will grow inside my body. I will feel him growing inside me then in my lap. I will play with him. Everything shattered in my foolishness. The very cause of endless joyfulness has turned into an event of endless nightmare. I could no longer deny your husband in my life. I could not marry him as he was not divorced. I knew getting divorce was not easy and time consuming. Mutual divorce could be settled earlier, but needed your approval. Only solution looming around me was abortion!” She started weeping again.
I shrieked in pain internally at the revelation of Jaya. I wanted to shout, “No Jaya no. Its sin. Never go for abortion. I will take the child.” Nothing came out of my mouth. My voice choked in unknown pressure. Only, my lips flipped in anticipation.
I witnessed her hapless panting, “I was devastated. My first child! What was his mistake? He is growing here, ”Jaya affectionately placed her hand on her belly, “Abortion was not acceptable to me. Death was preferable to me than abortion. I was not ready to kill a life for my comfort. Society also would not accept motherhood of an unwed woman. Being connected with orphanage, life of an illegitimate child is very much known to me. Under dire consequence, I decided to meet you and explain my situation. I reached Bangalore all alone for the first time. I did plan to meet you alone during absence of Prem and Gowri while they were in office. I observed you were staying with Gowri and joined an office. You were setting forth for office in the morning together and returning together in the evening. I got my first shock when I could not locate Prem anywhere. I could not get your free access from Gowri’s association. I changed my plan and met Gowri in her office.”
She sighed, “Obviously I could not tell her real reasons of my visit. She is a very simple and gentle woman. I am really sorry to deceive her. I pretended to be a mediator between you and Manu. She was ecstatic. She really loves you both from deep of her heart. She was ready to help me for your reunion with your husband. I had a series of setback from Gowri’s disclosures. The first was she vehemently denied of any threesome or lesbianism relationship as claimed by Manu. All three of you were forced to spend night in same room on Manu’s insistence. She painfully accepted that Manu was found to be eavesdropping and even served coffee in bedroom. She accepted some cuckoldry scenario for which you & Gowri had consulted Dr. Preethi and the matter had been settled. Initially, she also presumed Manu was a cuckold by his attitude and behaviour which got cleared by Dr. Preethi. However, she accepted aberration in behaviour on part of Manu. He had arranged for party dinner and decorated bedroom for first night celebrations which perplexed her. She accepted about his mental eccentricity and always doubted his wife. She had witnessed Manu behaving like a pimp. He enjoyed sadistic pleasure by thinking Prem as his wife’s lover. She claimed that she had witnessed him encouraging you to go for a date with Prem in scanty dress. She inquired; why a normal husband would decorate bedroom for his wife’s lover? She believed Manu was suffering with some kind of mental disorder.”
Clearly Gowri had exaggerated to safeguard my honour. I could not think further to keep pace with Jaya.
“She was addressing you as Didi.On specific query, Gowri was in all praise for you. She was jovial in expressing your love for your husband. Painfully, I got answers of my nightmare. You had always taken care of your husband. Even during forced outings, you had always arranged for his food. You had accepted help in household activities from your husband only on his insistence. You loved your husband more than your life and she never believed any extramarital relationship between you and Prem. Her vivid expression clearly established your innocence. She accepted sissy dressing tendency by Manu but denied your participation. Gowri had observed in person that Manu was a fetish and took interest in dressing in women clothes of his own.”
I concluded in my mind. Jaya was not telling lie. Her discussion with Gowri was known to me but not in so depth. Gowri only veered little from truth for my sake, for my pride.
“And the final blow came. I’m sorry. It’s very unfortunate. I should not have mentioned here.Gowri asked, if at all Prem and Didi had any consensual physical relationship, why Prem had to raape Didi? Didi was almost on the verge of death. She opined that Prem could have been invited by your husband. She did not tell directly, but her gesture was enough for me to understand. She was indicating of some psychological disorder of your husband.”
“Gowri’s revelation was a major setback for me. It was clearly opposite of what Manu had narrated. If Gowri was to be believed, Manu was a psychosis.I was ruined. It was certain that, I had believed a psychosis. There was no specific reason for Gowri to falsify.With skepticism, I approved her revelations as truth and accepted your love for your husband. I decided to crosscheck with you. Pretending consultancy with you, I begged two days’ time from Gowri. She agreed for outstation visit to pave my way to meet you alone. She did not suspect me. She loved you so much!”
“Circumstantial evidences were indicating the sadist mentality of your husband. Only hope I had that Gowri could be wrong in her statement. I had to crosscheck your attitude. I rushed back to Hardwar to plan next move. I did not disclose anything to Manu. I wanted your reaction in presence of Manu. I wanted to discover truth behind. I decided to bring Manu along with me during next visit to Bangalore. He refused to visit with Prem’s presence. I manipulated him promising sending Prem out during our visit. He was seeking revenge against you. He manipulated me in turn. He encouraged me to exaggerate and show off my intimacy with him in your presence. The need of the hour was to break your psychological barrier and obtain divorce. I was convinced that once my intimate relationship with your husband is made known to you, probably you won’t deny mutual divorce. I had still faith on Manu. I loved him!”
“As planned, I landed in Bangalore second time with your husband. I had two agenda. First to cross check your love for your husband and second one was to motivate your husband for seeking divorce. I humiliated you. I made a show off. Manu found out your used clothes and manipulated me to wear and parade in your presence. I wanted you to loath us. I did not object to reach my goal.You also did not object. Even you did not object him sharing my bedroom. Manu was constantly inquiring about Prem & Gowri. I could not disclose your sexual violation. Next day afternoon, I made a story of Prem-Gowri honeymoon trip leaving you behind. Due to financial crunch, you had been forced into working. I observed his contemptible reactions. Revelation of your pitfall condition did not perturb him. He was very happy on your punishment. I should have understood by then that he was a shylock.”
Jaya’s revelation flashed in my brain. He was partly aware of my hardship, still he remained aloof! It clearly indicated that he did not love me. Then why did he cover me with blanket? Why did he return me all his properties?
Jaya’s continuance forced me from memory travel, “I behaved like a moron. I ignored the truth. I continued my humiliation to you in order to establish Manu’s claim. Instead, I could observe your love for your husband. I saw you crying in pain but never uttered a single word against your husband. I observed your silent begging in your eyes while he never looked at you. You prepared food for his choice. On my second night at your house, I had witnessed your heart-breaking panting calling his name. My illusion on your love shattered. I could see a devoted wife ready to suffer anything for her husband. I could see shadow of Mona’s mother in you. You didn’t believe me, isn’t it? That night, I only folded your scattered clothes, I only covered you with blanket, you may remember. You took utmost care for his comfort. Even after being humiliated so much, you were concerned for his pride and reputation. You were afraid of Gowri discovering your husband in immoral relationship.You begged me for his honour. I could not break your heart. Your obsession with love for your husband touched my heart. I was defeated in front of your love.I could not press for divorce. I could not tell you my abysmal conditions.”
The mystery of blanket and folded sari was over. Painfully, I acknowledged my mistake of giving credit to Manu.
“I was loathing myself; I was loathing your husband. I was jealous of you and your devotion & love. Still I had thin doubt in my mind. Did he really cook up stories to dupe me? Could there be other women also who were duped by him? I wanted to cross check and take appropriate decision. I wanted to be certain that your love was genuine and not construed by presence of your husband. I had also a doubt on how you could not get pregnant in four years whereas I got impregnated by your husband within short time. Was he right that you deliberately avoided pregnancy or it could be due to some medical problems on your part? He was so certain that you were carrying Prem’s baby.To ascertain, I needed you at Hardwar, at my place.”
“That day after departing from your house, I managed to meet Prem in security officer station. He was in all praise for you while he loathed Manu. He accepted that he was flabbergasted seeing your loyalty to your husband. He denied sleeping with you before marriage. You were just a good friend of his. He confirmed, he was invited by Manu. He was repenting for accepting Manu’s invitation. From day one of his reach, Manu was pushing you to his bedroom and you were vehemently rejecting. He had witnessed Manu torturing you for not obeying him. Finally, you had relented to shift to Prem’s room. Prem was forced to engage in role playing for satisfaction of Manu at your request. You only requested Prem to tolerate to keep your husband in control.But he had never touched you. Prem accepted of bullying Manu many times to correct his corrupt mentality. He made many attempts to vacate your house only to drop by sincere request from Manu.Your husband was a psychopath. Prem claimed, he had seen many times Manu was punishing himself.”
I could not withstand anymore. I shouted, “Please Jaya, stop. Prem had lied to you.”
Jaya stopped me. “Please Kavita, let me finish first. I will listen to you afterwards.”
“I finally asked Prem, what made him commit such heinous crime of raaping somebody. He was crying profusely. What I understood that on that day Manu was beyond control. He was forcing you to have sexwith Prem in his presence. He was begging Prem to impregnate his wife. You had seemed lost control on his dreadful proposition and first time thrashed your husband. First time you had sought divorce and forced him out of house. Manu left but your anger fell on Prem. You blamed Prem for everything. You started punishing Prem. You were slapping and hitting him left and right. Prem accepted of losing temper and made the mistake instigated by your brutal behaviour.”
Jaya stopped my attempt to intervene and forced me listen to Prem’s fabricated and corrupted statement.
Jaya was sobbing, “I returned to Hardwar devastated. I forced Manu to reveal his true character with my renewed knowledge. He accepted his crimes. He accepted that he was suffering from Psychotic disorders. Psychotic disorders are severe mental disorders that cause abnormal thinking and perceptions. People with psychoses lose touch with reality. Two of the main symptoms are delusions and hallucinations. He accepted that whatever he had told about you was his delusions and hallucinations. He even accepted of abusing you with sexual drugs to satisfy his perverse mentality.”
I screamed, “Don’t believe him. He has lied.”
Jaya interrupted me again. She pleaded, “Please Kavita, I won’t take much time. Just give me a few minutes.As I was telling, he confessed everything and sought forgiveness.He accepted of his pervert fantasy of desiring his wife being taken and impregnated by others in front of his eyes. It was end of my life. There was no question of marrying him. I wanted to save you from his clutch.He agreed to give you freedom. I made him prepare mutual divorce papers.I made him agree to transfer house deed and money in your name. I wanted him to confess, apologize and hand over documents to you personally.He agreed. I was right outside of your apartment society, when he met you on Saturday.”
My head was spinning. My husband was taking revenge. He was shouldering my crimes on himself. He was sacrificing his life for me!
Jaya took my hands in her. Apologetically, she conferred, “I could not believe that a wife could make such sacrifices for her husband. You are enigmatic. I was curious on your love. I did not expect you, when you arrived. I forced a brave face to hide my embarrassment. Immediately, I put you on medical check up to ensure. I was afraid you also could be pregnant. I was happy you were not. I put you under test for possible ill effects of sex drugs. In the meantime, I wanted to check myself about your depth of love.I subjected you under humiliation to observe your reaction. I tested you with stories of Wanda and Mona to test your mental inclination. I could not find any mental aberration or lack of love for your husband. I am sorry, for creating pain in you. If possible, please forgive me. Today I received final medical report. I am happy that you are absolutely free of any medical problems.”
She got up from her seat. Tears were rolling through her cheek. In croaky voice she pleaded, “I don’t find any justifications to holding you captive here. You can proceed tomorrow morning. If possible, forgive me for my cruel behaviour.”
She attempted leaving. I stopped her in desperation. I lamented, “What about my husband? What are you doing with him? Can he accompany me?”
She stopped and wiped her eyes. She looked at my face for a long time. I could observe a distinct change on her face. It hardened. Her smile changed into a crooked one. She hissed, “He has ruined my life. He has ruined the future of my unborn child. I can’t let him go. He deserves punishment. I will give him punishment.”
I trembled in fear. I begged, “Please Jaya, I beg your mercy. He is not a bad man. Please don’t harm him. I’m ready to do anything you want.”
She roared, “What about my child? I may have to abort. Do you have any idea of abortion? It’s killing a life. I’m sorry, Kavita. I can’t honour your request.” She attempted to leave again.
I fell on her feet. I wailed, “I understand the pain of a mother. Please don’t go for abortion. You give me your child. I will take care whatever way you desire. I won’t make any claim.”
She stopped and looked at me astonished. She wailed, “Are you mad Kavita. You have no idea of what are you talking about. The child growing inside me is carrying his blood. In future, he also will face Psychotic disorders like his father. I can’t allow my child face hell in this world.”
Without leaving her feet I pleaded again, “You are wrong. My husband is not Psychoses. He is punishing himself. He is innocent.”
Jaya shouted, “Enough is enough Kavita. Stop begging. He has confessed his crime. I envy your love. But you know the truth. Let him face the truth.”
I pleaded, “I know the truth. Believe me, he is a good man. He has done a mistake. Please forgive him. Believe me, whatever he said about me are mostly true. I’m only responsible for his scathed behaviour.Please don’t harm my husband.”
Jaya scolded, “Come-on Kavita. Don’t behave like an uncultured, uneducated woman. Why are you afraid? I understand motive of economically battered, illiterate women. You are not. You have some responsibility for the society. Try to understand, your husband is great threat to mankind. People like him do not deserve any mercy.”
I pleaded, “Please try to understand me. I know he has done unpardonable crime against you. I’m only responsible. I deserve punishment. Please release him. I beg you.”
She growled, “Don’t beg for that scoundrel Kavita. He deserves no mercy. Don’t make false statement to save an antisocial. Try to understand, he is a threat to me, to you and to society as a whole. Don’t downgrade yourself. I know you are a good-nature woman. Don’t take blame on yourself.”
Softly with determination I said, “I’m not taking blame on me purposefully. I must confess the truth. Please listen to my story. I’m only to be blamed for his downfall.”
In filthy voice she screeched, “I know the women of your nature. Mona’s mother made mistake blindly loving her husband. She had to pay with her life. You are pitifully obsessed. I know, you can sacrifice everything for your love. You will make stories to safeguard your husband. I’m not interested to listen to your cock and bull story”
I begged, “You have only told me of Wanda story. You only told that it is wrong to judge by one sided story. You have listened to my husband; you have listened to Gowri and Prem. Please listen to me. I beg to you, after listening to my life story, you decide. I promise not to interfere, if you still decide my husband is guilty, you punish him. You had accepted me as your friend. Have some mercy on your friend, at least once.”
Jaya stood firm for some time. Slowly, she eased herself from her hard stand. She affirmed, “I had promised and accepted you as my friend. I won’t break my promise. I will listen to your account.”
Jaya remained silent for a long period. With adding an air of solidarity, she announced, “I am not promising you anything. You get only one chance. You are not going to create stories. You must give your authentic statement and no assumptions. If I find you fooling me around safeguarding your husband, consequences will be serious. Think before you proceed. Remember, you won’t get a second chance to rectify yourself.”
I shook my head in affirmative. There were no justifications for becoming elusive. The very purpose of my unwarranted action had backfired. Life of my husband was in danger. I had miserably failed in my attempts safeguarding esteem of my husband. I had no hesitation in confirming my motive. I had caused more trouble for him. Jaya appeared to be stubborn. She could implicate my husband in many ways. My one mistake had caused him immense pain and sufferings. I was afraid to cause more.
I decided to accept my crime. Slowly I stood on my feet, “Please excuse me, I will be back.” I excused myself to freshen up. Maybe, I wanted to take some break before final assault. I refreshed all my memories before joining Jaya in balcony.
Jaya was patiently waiting. “No deviation from truth, OK.” She switched off the light.
Immediately, the darkness engulfed around us. It was drizzling outside at slow pace, a continuous one. Except the sound of droplets falling on the leaves and flowing water at Ganges, silence prevailed. There was rain in my mind, in my heart. I could listen to the relentless heartbeat of mine. All the sound mixed together created a resonance in my brain. I got energized to reveal the truth.
I took my time to confess.
End of Chapter 33
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