13-11-2020, 07:22 AM
31.2
Manu
I was shifted back to plain, again in some dislocated area. My training to the next level progressed on desired course.
The first thing I learned that I was average endowed. Where the mean length stands at 5.2 inches, I was 5 inches. The erect length follows normal distribution. 68% of men measure between 4.5 and 5.8 inches and 95% are in the 3.9- and 6.5-inch range. I am in the category of ± 1σ. Nearly 45% of men are worse endowed than me. I learned to be proud of myself. In simple terms, only 2.5% men possesses greater than 6.5 inches long penis. The greater the length, the more the problem. The very reason was female genital depth also followed normal distribution. For an unaroused female, average vaginal depth is 3.77 inches which extends up to 6.2 inches when aroused sexually. An average female can comfortably accommodate an average penis.
For a female, most sensory sexual nerves concentrate at clitoris of vagina area and breast especially at nipple. Below three inches depth of vaginal canal, there exists almost no sensory nerves. So, a female physically doesn’t get any extra physical pleasure from a lengthy penis. Rather an excessive lengthy penis hurts them out of direct hitting at cervix. But yes, psychological aspect cannot be ruled out where some females are particularly obsessed with big size penis. However, generally with passing time, most of the females understands, appreciates and accepts average size penis as best for copulating where ever they get chance to experiment.
The sexologist explained:
The excitement mechanism and duration, we call it as human sexual response cycle differs a lot between a man & woman.
The human sexual response cycle is a four-stage model of physiological responses to sexual stimulation, which, in order of their occurrence, are the excitement-, plateau-, orgasmic-, and resolution phases.
Among both sexes, the excitement phase results in an increase in heart rate, breathing rate, and a rise in blood pressure. It is found that sexual arousal in about 82% of young females and 52% of young males arises or is enhanced by direct stimulation of nipples, Vasocongestion of the skin, commonly referred to as the sex flush, will occur in approximately 50-75% of females and 25% of males.
During the female sex flush, pinkish spots develop under the breasts, then spread to the breasts, torso, face, hands, soles of the feet, and possibly over the entire body. Vasocongestion is also responsible for the darkening of the clitoris and the walls of the vagina during sexual arousal. During the male sex flush, the coloration of the skin develops less consistently than in the female, but typically starts with the upper abdomen, spreads across the chest, then continues to the neck, face, forehead, back, and sometimes, shoulders and forearms. The sex flush typically disappears soon after orgasm occurs, but this may take up to two hours or so and, sometimes, intense sweating will occur simultaneously. The flush usually diminishes in reverse of the order in which it appeared.
In males, the beginning of the excitement phase is observed when the penis becomes partially or fully erect, often after only a few seconds of erotic stimulation. The erection may be partially lost and regained repeatedly during an extended excitement phase. Both testicles become drawn upward toward the perineum, notably in circumcised males where less skin is available to accommodate the erection. Also, the scrotum can tense and thicken during the erection process.
In females, the excitement phase can last from several minutes to several hours. The onset of Vasocongestion results in swelling of the woman's clitoris, labia minora and vagina. The muscle that surrounds the vaginal opening grows tighter and the uterus elevates and grows in size. The vaginal walls begin to produce a lubricating organic liquid. Meanwhile, the breasts increase slightly in size and nipples become hardened and erect.
The plateau phase is the period of sexual excitement prior to orgasm. The phase is characterized by an increased circulation and heart rate in both sexes, increased sexual pleasure with increased stimulation and further increased muscle tension. Also, respiration continues at an elevated level. Both men and women may also begin to vocalize involuntarily at this stage. Prolonged time in the plateau phase without progression to the orgasmic phase may result in sexual frustration.
During plateau phase, the male urethral sphincter contracts so as to prevent urine from mixing with semen, and to guard against retrograde ejaculation and muscles at the base of the penis begin a steady rhythmic contraction. Males may start to secrete seminal fluid or pre-ejaculatory fluid and the testicles rise closer to the body.
The plateau stage in females is basically a continuation of the same changes evident in the excitement stage. The clitoris becomes extremely sensitive and withdraws slightly, and the Bartholin glands produce further lubrication. The tissues of the outer third of the vagina swell, and the pubococcygeus muscle tightens, reducing the diameter of the opening of the vagina. For those who never achieve orgasm, this is the peak of sexual excitement.
Orgasm is the conclusion of the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle and is experienced by both males and females. It is accompanied by quick cycles of muscle contraction in the lower pelvic muscles, which surround both the anus and the primary sexual organs. Women also experience uterine and vaginal contractions. Orgasms are often associated with other involuntary actions, including vocalizations and muscular spasms in other areas of the body and a generally euphoric sensation. Heart rate is increased even further.
In males, orgasm is usually associated with ejaculation. Each ejection is accompanied with continuous pulses of sexual pleasure, especially in the penis and loins. Other sensations may be felt strongly among the lower spine or lower back. The first and second convulsions are usually the most intense in sensation and produce the greatest quantity of semen. Thereafter, each contraction is associated with a diminishing volume of semen and a milder sensation of pleasure.
Orgasms in females can vary widely from woman to woman. The overall sensation is similar to that of the male orgasm. They are commonly associated with an increase in vaginal lubrication, a tightening of the vaginal walls and overall pleasure.
The resolution phase occurs after orgasm and allows the muscles to relax, blood pressure to drop and the body to slow down from its excited state. The refractory period, which is part of the resolution phase, is the time frame in which usually a man is unable to orgasm again, though women can also experience orgasm in refractory period.
Masters and Johnson described the two-stage detumescence of the penis: In the first stage, the penis decreases from its erect state to about 50 percent larger than its flaccid state. This occurs during the refractory period. In the second stage and after the refractory period is finished, the penis decreases in size and returns to being flaccid. It is generally impossible for men to achieve orgasm during the refractory period. Masters and Johnson argue that this period must end before men can become aroused again.
According to Masters and Johnson, women have the ability to orgasm again very quickly, as long as they have effective stimulation. As a result, they are able to have multiple orgasms in a relatively short period of time. Though generally reported that women do not experience a refractory period and thus can experience an additional orgasm, or multiple orgasms, soon after the first, some sources state that men and women experience a refractory period because women may also experience a period after orgasm in which further sexual stimulation does not produce excitement. For some women, the clitoris is very sensitive after climax, making additional stimulation initially painful. After the initial orgasm, subsequent orgasms for women may also be stronger or more pleasurable as the stimulation accumulates.”
***
Sex is perceived differently by men and women.
Majority of men see sex through their penis. Majority of nerves concentrate at the tip of penis. Penis is major source of sexual gratification for men. A man can easily be stimulated by external medium. A beautiful or sexy woman can cause a desire for sex in man. A visual medium can have its instantaneous effect. Any pornographic materials can cause excitement and erection in men. A man needs relatively little time to achieve erection. A penis does not have any muscle. The flow of blood makes it stiff. When a man is sexually excited, more blood is pumped to the organ. Heart works extra to cope up with additional blood flow.
On the contrary, the clitoris has 8000 nerve endings which is nearly double of penis. The 2nd most nerve density is at nipple. Whatever nerves exist in vaginal ducts are located within two inches depth from opening. Contrary to normal belief, a very few nerves exist at depth of vagina duct, not sufficient to generate physical pleasure. A three-inch-long penis is enough to give a woman sufficient physical pleasure during intercourse, if used aptly. The effect of large penis is psychological rather than physical. Because of high nerve concentration, a woman is sexually stimulated easily through nipple and clit.
A woman’s sexuality is very different from a man. A woman is not affected to that extent a man is affected by external stimuli. A woman see sex through their mind. They look for attachment and long-term relationship more than external look in a man. Consequently, a woman needs more time to get excited. A prolong foreplay is mostly essential to excite a woman to plateau phase. They enjoy more in sex because of lengthy plateau phase and active involvement of mind. They want men to worship their sexual organs rather than treating them roughly. Most women prefer feather touch and care over roughness at the beginning of foreplay. In excited stage she may not object rough handling. Out of intense pleasure, mostly she plays submissive role and may encourage her partner in roughness. Due to high concentration of nerves far outwitting men, their orgasm is more intense compared to men. They enjoy sexual play more than men. However, they suffer more from sexual frustration if the orgasm is denied.
But there is a caution. There is always exception to general theory. Every woman is different in her sexuality and require a close observation on her behavioural changes during love making process.
***
Intimate touch of other female bodies other than my wife created some reticence, which I could ward off within short period. After crossing kissing and fondling, I was taught the art of delaying ejaculation. I was taught to reflect on the bodily changes in a woman’s body during love making process. I learnt to treat a woman’s body as a fine musical instrument to tune up enhancing pleasure. I learnt to pleasure myself while pleasuring her. I learnt to delay penetration till she craves for it. It was so difficult initially and presently so easy to retain stiffness! Control your mind. Concentrate on the woman rather than concentrating on your genital. Rest was assured.
During course of training, I met Jaya a few times. She was mostly involved in psychology part. I had developed a strange relationship with her. She may be two years junior to me. She was only child of her parents like me. Our fusion in new relationship did not take much time to grow. What she found in me I didn’t know. I could get solace of my broken heart in her warmth affection.
Four months passed since my travel from Bangalore.
My training was completed. Guruji met me on penultimate day in presence of Jaya.
Guruji addressed me, “This was a learning process where we both intended to learn something from each other. While you may think, what do we need to learn anything from you? Just believe me; no learning process is complete unless we all accept our limitations. While you learnt from our experiences, we also learnt and enriched our experiences from your journey from despair to tranquility. Thank you, Manu, for your devotion and willingness to overcome the hurdles of life. Now, I see a confident man ready to sail through the rough waters. I bless you in your all future assignments. Please remember extending all helps to the needy people when they need most.”
After some pause, he asked, “Manu, are you moving to Bangalore?”
I had no plan. I did not think about it. I accepted the truth.
“Do you remember our discussion on our first meet at Bangalore? We talked about forgiveness. Presently, you are in a state of attaining control of your mind. If the present state of affairs in your house is prevalent to the earlier ones, what will be your probable actions? Now it is clear to you about the situations which were not under your control but decided to gain control over them. Presently you are in better position to make decisions and gain control over situations. Would you like to forgive them?”
Momentarily I traversed to the past of my life. The humiliation, the physical torture, the ugly adultery and my shameless submission, everything flashed in my memory. I expressed my internal feelings, “My acceptance to sissy dressing was out of my trepidation. My acceptance to Kavita’s adultery was due to my anxiety of losing her. My acceptance of humiliation was attributed to my stigma of social pride. It was my utter foolishness asking for sacrifices from my wife. In wanton desire on my selfishness, I had overlooked freedom from constraints. I did compromise on basic requirements of life. My foolish submission to situation only complicated everybody’s life. I could not appreciate the freedom of mind and body.“ I looked at the ever-smiling face of Guruji. With determination I concluded, “Now it’s time to redo the ill effects of my wrongdoings. I can differentiate and appreciate between adjustment &compromise. I am now in a position to appreciate the full glory of life in its neutral, immaculate state. True value of life can only be harnessed in freedom. I will prefer to reinstate her freedom. I will encourage her into happy and prosperous life in society whatever ways she envisages for.”
“I appreciate your goodness. Will you continue to implement your ideas in case your wife seeks forgiveness? Will you forcefully vacate her from your life?”
I looked down and fumbled, “I don’t consider her sole responsible for my past trauma. Being implicated on same offence, I don’t approve my candidature as forgiver. If my forgiveness generates solace in her mind, I will do that happily. I was taking about giving divorce, not about vacating her from my life. I accept my inability to control my mind to that level driving her out of my mind. “
“Manu, I know, you love your wife. You are not able to forget her. Don’t compromise, not only with your life but also with her. Adjustment and compromise are not same though sometimes are viewed unilaterally. Love is synonym with sacrifice, not acquisition. Ask your conscious, and if you are ready to adjust then only proceed. You also need to figure out, what exactly she wanted. What you perceive through your sensory organs is not necessarily always true.”
“Continue practicing Yoga, Pranayama, Meditation and Martial arts. They are feed to your body and mind to keep them alert and healthy. Never misuse your power for reaching self-goal. Extend your help and forgiveness judiciously wherever possible for betterment of mankind.”
Guruji then turned to Jaya, “Take care of him. He may need some guidance from you.”
***
We returned to Hardwar.
One day Jaya asked me after dinner, “Do you still love Kavita?”
Trying to suppression my hesitation I asked, “How does it make any sense? Let her be happy in her new life.”
Jaya replied guardedly, “It may not ignite your interest any more, but it matters me a lot. I need to understand your mental inclination towards her without any ambiguity.”
Yes, I could not stop but loving her. Jaya was looking at me intently. I humbly accepted, “Yes, I do.”
“I envy of her luck. In spite of such uncouth behaviour, you still love her. But does she reciprocate?”
I sighed, “I am not sure. She always sent mixed signals. One moment it appeared she was concerned about me; the next moment she was opposite. She never allowed me to understand her. I don’t know why she behaved with me that way.”
“Do you approve her behaviour?”
“No and yes. She accepted me in my inadequacy. For four years, she did not show any resentment. She performed her duties as a wife. I failed in my duties of a husband. Even she could not attain motherhood. As a woman she deserved better life. I don’t deny her rights to be happy. In her own capacity, she deserved the best of this world. My only objection was in her chosen approaches. She could have divorced me. Also, I don’t appreciate Prem as a good choice. I don’t know why, it always appeared to me as if she has been trapped. It may be my hallucination.”
“If you were convinced that she deserved better, then why did not you divorce her earlier?”
“I couldn’t. I thought of divorcing her many times. My selfishness prevailed over my good concerns. I was proud to have Kavita as my wife. I was also worried for finding a wife in the event she leaves me.” I paused briefly and continued after a thought, “Even the thought of her not with me made me remorseful. I couldn’t think of my life without her.”
“Was she aware of your thought process?”
I took a deep sigh, “I think she knew my weakness.”
“Well, when Prem was bullying you, why didn’t you protest?”
“He was a well-built hunk. I couldn’t fight him physically. He threatened me of impotency. I was scared. I was not mentally strong enough to counter his bully. Also, Kavita had supported him.”
“You could have taken the help of security officer. Why did not you opt for it?
“Yes, that was a viable option. Many a times, I thought about it. What would have I gained? I had no proof of Prem’s bullying. I was fighting to hide my apparent pervert act not to be known to Kavita. Also, there was another problem. Kavita was directly involved. If I complained, she also could have been implemented. Moreover, I wanted her back. I did not want to lose her to Prem. Considering all aspects, I decided against.”
“What is your opinion now? Has Kavita made these plans all alone or Prem is also equally involved? Why was Kavita manipulating so much, you think? She could have divorced you. She already owned half of your property. She could easily get handsome alimony. Why did she risk her life? “
I had no idea. I accepted my ignorance. ”I am not sure. I was devastated. I wanted the matter to end. I somehow tolerated her adultery with the hope of reclaiming her back. I thought, some day she would realize her mistakes and come back. On seeing her belly ring with A.A pendant, my hopes crashed. She was without pills also. Possibly, she was manipulating me to start family with Prem’s baby keeping her marital status with me intact. Immediately, I thought of ending my life. As the time passed, I became slightly calm. I was pondering the idea of exiting from their life to move to an unknown place. Then I met Guruji in the seminar and I was here.”
“Are you thinking of returning to Bangalore?”
“I have to go once at least. Even if I decide relocating myself, I have to collect my credentials to start new.” Hesitantly I added, “Also I want to find out how Kavita is keeping presently. She may be carrying. I ought to give her freedom from marital bondage.”
“Well understood. There are various probabilities. Say, Kavita is going strong with Prem. What are you going to do?”
I replied, “I will consider divorcing her. It is insane to force anybody into a relationship. She deserves freedom and chose her life.”
“There can be a slight variation in above situation. Say, Kavita is leading a slavery life with Prem. Then?”
“She has to decide. I will extend her all help to come out of the situation.“ I expressed my views without thinking. After some thought I said, “Chances are very remote. As far I know Kavita, she would never buckle under force. The question of staying her with Prem under constraint does not arise. I had never observed any discomfiture in her behaviour during her relationship with Prem. Rather she was happy. “
“It could be like she is pregnant and compelled to stay with Prem. She does not want to abort her child. What would you do in that event?”
With some thought I said, “Jaya, you are unnecessarily complicating the issue. She continuing her pregnancy can be a clear indication of her willingness. Also, she does not require to stay with Prem under force as to some extent she is economically independent. I will prefer to give her freedom to decide her life herself.”
“In the event of another probability, if Kavita is found to be leading a solo life, and desires to reconcile with, what will be your options?”
I stared at her for a long time, slowly but affirmatively I replied, “You don’t know her. I have told you my story in details. Do you find any such probability? Why are you so obsessed with her?”
“I need to. She may accept you under constraints. She may not love you. She may pretend love to win back your confidence to cheat you again. She may not accept divorce for purpose. Are you prepared for reconciliation, in that event?”
I couldn’t deny the chances. I was confident of better bed performance. But the married relationship was not entirely physical. Her mental inclination was still unknown. If sexual gratification was her only motive, she would have kept her affairs secret. In practice, she behaved differently. She was keen to publicize her affair to me; at least it appeared to me like that. The last incident flashed in my memory. Holding my hands, she was begging for my return. Even when Prem forced her hands off me, she was begging. She was crying. I did not see her crying. But her voice ensured her state. Was she faking? Why should she fake and why not?
On previous night, she informed me about Prem’s eviction only to be proved wrong next moment. Prem resurfaced at that instant. She wanted to verify my reactions. She had planned in advance everything. It was a well calculated move on her part. Early morning incidents cemented the theory. She pretended to care for me while being overtaken by her boyfriend or present husband. She had told me earlier that, “I can't control my boyfriend, as you know, he's much more possessive over me.” She had made a live demonstration of the possessiveness of her boyfriend over her.
I remembered; she was in full tears just previous day of her shifting to Prem permanently. Next day she shifted. She had preparation since morning. She advanced breakfast. She changed into a seductive sari blouse outfit flaunting her assets. She said that day, "This has been coming for a while now. But it had to happen." She knew everything. She had planned everything. She had been sleeping with Prem regularly for quite some time. Yet she pretended love and affair to divert my mind. She faked tears to create camouflage in my mind. She was capable of doing anything to camouflage my mind. I surrendered to Jaya. “What do you advice?”
“I am a psychiatrist and in better position to read minds of individuals from their behaviours. You see people through your heart; I see them through my brain. I propose to make a visit to your house in Bangalore. Your duty will end at introducing me to Kavita. Rest I will take care. You can depend on my professionalism. Depending on the situations, we can decide future course of action.”
I objected, “Prem will be there. Don’t you think it as audaciously improper to disturb their private affairs? After a pause I suggested, “We can meet her outside and collect my credentials. Why to go to house?”
Jaya smiled, “So your objection is Prem. I will ensure his absence during our visit. Now you should not have any problem. Is it OK?”
It was my turn to get perplexed, “How could you ensure that? You don’t know anybody of them.”
She smiled mischievously, “Prem is an amateur photographer. He can be sent out to attend to some workshop. Leave it on me. We psychiatrists enjoy some secret privileges.”
Still I was skeptical, “She may behave rudely with you. She may even humiliate you also. Worst she may not allow you to enter her house.”
“In that event, our job will be simplified. And don’t worry about my humiliation. Don’t forget about Mind Control. I have learnt how to control my mind.” She teased me after a pause, “Don’t you want to see her baby bump?”
I turned red in embarrassment, “Why are you unnecessary taking so much trouble.”
She smiled, “I am taking trouble because I love you. I want to be happy and your life is in her hand. I got to know her intention prior to making my move.”
There was nothing for me to object, I agreed. I was looking forward to meet Kavita. Was she really pregnant? How would she look in her baby bump? Would she be hidden under burqa? Would she lift her niqab while speaking to me?
“Two more things I need your concurrence. First, you owe a visit to your house at Delhi. Your parents are anxiously waiting for your return.”
The very prospects of meeting my parents lightened my face momentarily only to feel remorse next moment. Jaya noticed my changes and smiled. “Don’t worry. Nobody will ask anything about Kavita. I am in contact with your parents. Don’t ask me details at this moment.”
I got relieved of my paranoid, “Thanks Jaya.” How did she access my parents? Was she in contact with Kavita also? Presently, I decided not to trouble her with my questions. Let her decide of her own.
“You are welcome. We are leaving tomorrow night to Delhi and from there next day to Bangalore. This is settled. The other thing which I want you -----” Jaya was hesitating.
I intervened. “You can confer with me without hesitation. I believe you.”
Jaya hesitated, “I think it can wait till our return from Bangalore.”
I pleaded, “Please Jaya, you also started behaving with me evasive!”
She smiled to assure herself more than me.” Do you accept that, you owe your present life to me more than anybody else in this world other than Guruji?”
I promptly accepted in bright smile, “Definitely yes. I never denied that.”
She whispered, “I love you.”
I smiled, “I know you love me. I also love you. What makes you doubt?”.
With radiant smile she objected, “No No, I am not in doubt. I am reassuring myself.” She stopped briefly before continuing pleadingly, “You can’t refuse. My father has left huge property, which is largely unutilised. I request you to start a business with that money.” Before I could protest, she was quick to add, “Take it as loan. Please don’t refuse. Remember, I own your life and it’s my demand.”
She persisted relentlessly to accept me her proposal. She allowed me to sleep only after ensuring my acceptance.
End of Chapter 31
Manu
I was shifted back to plain, again in some dislocated area. My training to the next level progressed on desired course.
The first thing I learned that I was average endowed. Where the mean length stands at 5.2 inches, I was 5 inches. The erect length follows normal distribution. 68% of men measure between 4.5 and 5.8 inches and 95% are in the 3.9- and 6.5-inch range. I am in the category of ± 1σ. Nearly 45% of men are worse endowed than me. I learned to be proud of myself. In simple terms, only 2.5% men possesses greater than 6.5 inches long penis. The greater the length, the more the problem. The very reason was female genital depth also followed normal distribution. For an unaroused female, average vaginal depth is 3.77 inches which extends up to 6.2 inches when aroused sexually. An average female can comfortably accommodate an average penis.
For a female, most sensory sexual nerves concentrate at clitoris of vagina area and breast especially at nipple. Below three inches depth of vaginal canal, there exists almost no sensory nerves. So, a female physically doesn’t get any extra physical pleasure from a lengthy penis. Rather an excessive lengthy penis hurts them out of direct hitting at cervix. But yes, psychological aspect cannot be ruled out where some females are particularly obsessed with big size penis. However, generally with passing time, most of the females understands, appreciates and accepts average size penis as best for copulating where ever they get chance to experiment.
The sexologist explained:
The excitement mechanism and duration, we call it as human sexual response cycle differs a lot between a man & woman.
The human sexual response cycle is a four-stage model of physiological responses to sexual stimulation, which, in order of their occurrence, are the excitement-, plateau-, orgasmic-, and resolution phases.
Among both sexes, the excitement phase results in an increase in heart rate, breathing rate, and a rise in blood pressure. It is found that sexual arousal in about 82% of young females and 52% of young males arises or is enhanced by direct stimulation of nipples, Vasocongestion of the skin, commonly referred to as the sex flush, will occur in approximately 50-75% of females and 25% of males.
During the female sex flush, pinkish spots develop under the breasts, then spread to the breasts, torso, face, hands, soles of the feet, and possibly over the entire body. Vasocongestion is also responsible for the darkening of the clitoris and the walls of the vagina during sexual arousal. During the male sex flush, the coloration of the skin develops less consistently than in the female, but typically starts with the upper abdomen, spreads across the chest, then continues to the neck, face, forehead, back, and sometimes, shoulders and forearms. The sex flush typically disappears soon after orgasm occurs, but this may take up to two hours or so and, sometimes, intense sweating will occur simultaneously. The flush usually diminishes in reverse of the order in which it appeared.
In males, the beginning of the excitement phase is observed when the penis becomes partially or fully erect, often after only a few seconds of erotic stimulation. The erection may be partially lost and regained repeatedly during an extended excitement phase. Both testicles become drawn upward toward the perineum, notably in circumcised males where less skin is available to accommodate the erection. Also, the scrotum can tense and thicken during the erection process.
In females, the excitement phase can last from several minutes to several hours. The onset of Vasocongestion results in swelling of the woman's clitoris, labia minora and vagina. The muscle that surrounds the vaginal opening grows tighter and the uterus elevates and grows in size. The vaginal walls begin to produce a lubricating organic liquid. Meanwhile, the breasts increase slightly in size and nipples become hardened and erect.
The plateau phase is the period of sexual excitement prior to orgasm. The phase is characterized by an increased circulation and heart rate in both sexes, increased sexual pleasure with increased stimulation and further increased muscle tension. Also, respiration continues at an elevated level. Both men and women may also begin to vocalize involuntarily at this stage. Prolonged time in the plateau phase without progression to the orgasmic phase may result in sexual frustration.
During plateau phase, the male urethral sphincter contracts so as to prevent urine from mixing with semen, and to guard against retrograde ejaculation and muscles at the base of the penis begin a steady rhythmic contraction. Males may start to secrete seminal fluid or pre-ejaculatory fluid and the testicles rise closer to the body.
The plateau stage in females is basically a continuation of the same changes evident in the excitement stage. The clitoris becomes extremely sensitive and withdraws slightly, and the Bartholin glands produce further lubrication. The tissues of the outer third of the vagina swell, and the pubococcygeus muscle tightens, reducing the diameter of the opening of the vagina. For those who never achieve orgasm, this is the peak of sexual excitement.
Orgasm is the conclusion of the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle and is experienced by both males and females. It is accompanied by quick cycles of muscle contraction in the lower pelvic muscles, which surround both the anus and the primary sexual organs. Women also experience uterine and vaginal contractions. Orgasms are often associated with other involuntary actions, including vocalizations and muscular spasms in other areas of the body and a generally euphoric sensation. Heart rate is increased even further.
In males, orgasm is usually associated with ejaculation. Each ejection is accompanied with continuous pulses of sexual pleasure, especially in the penis and loins. Other sensations may be felt strongly among the lower spine or lower back. The first and second convulsions are usually the most intense in sensation and produce the greatest quantity of semen. Thereafter, each contraction is associated with a diminishing volume of semen and a milder sensation of pleasure.
Orgasms in females can vary widely from woman to woman. The overall sensation is similar to that of the male orgasm. They are commonly associated with an increase in vaginal lubrication, a tightening of the vaginal walls and overall pleasure.
The resolution phase occurs after orgasm and allows the muscles to relax, blood pressure to drop and the body to slow down from its excited state. The refractory period, which is part of the resolution phase, is the time frame in which usually a man is unable to orgasm again, though women can also experience orgasm in refractory period.
Masters and Johnson described the two-stage detumescence of the penis: In the first stage, the penis decreases from its erect state to about 50 percent larger than its flaccid state. This occurs during the refractory period. In the second stage and after the refractory period is finished, the penis decreases in size and returns to being flaccid. It is generally impossible for men to achieve orgasm during the refractory period. Masters and Johnson argue that this period must end before men can become aroused again.
According to Masters and Johnson, women have the ability to orgasm again very quickly, as long as they have effective stimulation. As a result, they are able to have multiple orgasms in a relatively short period of time. Though generally reported that women do not experience a refractory period and thus can experience an additional orgasm, or multiple orgasms, soon after the first, some sources state that men and women experience a refractory period because women may also experience a period after orgasm in which further sexual stimulation does not produce excitement. For some women, the clitoris is very sensitive after climax, making additional stimulation initially painful. After the initial orgasm, subsequent orgasms for women may also be stronger or more pleasurable as the stimulation accumulates.”
***
Sex is perceived differently by men and women.
Majority of men see sex through their penis. Majority of nerves concentrate at the tip of penis. Penis is major source of sexual gratification for men. A man can easily be stimulated by external medium. A beautiful or sexy woman can cause a desire for sex in man. A visual medium can have its instantaneous effect. Any pornographic materials can cause excitement and erection in men. A man needs relatively little time to achieve erection. A penis does not have any muscle. The flow of blood makes it stiff. When a man is sexually excited, more blood is pumped to the organ. Heart works extra to cope up with additional blood flow.
On the contrary, the clitoris has 8000 nerve endings which is nearly double of penis. The 2nd most nerve density is at nipple. Whatever nerves exist in vaginal ducts are located within two inches depth from opening. Contrary to normal belief, a very few nerves exist at depth of vagina duct, not sufficient to generate physical pleasure. A three-inch-long penis is enough to give a woman sufficient physical pleasure during intercourse, if used aptly. The effect of large penis is psychological rather than physical. Because of high nerve concentration, a woman is sexually stimulated easily through nipple and clit.
A woman’s sexuality is very different from a man. A woman is not affected to that extent a man is affected by external stimuli. A woman see sex through their mind. They look for attachment and long-term relationship more than external look in a man. Consequently, a woman needs more time to get excited. A prolong foreplay is mostly essential to excite a woman to plateau phase. They enjoy more in sex because of lengthy plateau phase and active involvement of mind. They want men to worship their sexual organs rather than treating them roughly. Most women prefer feather touch and care over roughness at the beginning of foreplay. In excited stage she may not object rough handling. Out of intense pleasure, mostly she plays submissive role and may encourage her partner in roughness. Due to high concentration of nerves far outwitting men, their orgasm is more intense compared to men. They enjoy sexual play more than men. However, they suffer more from sexual frustration if the orgasm is denied.
But there is a caution. There is always exception to general theory. Every woman is different in her sexuality and require a close observation on her behavioural changes during love making process.
***
Intimate touch of other female bodies other than my wife created some reticence, which I could ward off within short period. After crossing kissing and fondling, I was taught the art of delaying ejaculation. I was taught to reflect on the bodily changes in a woman’s body during love making process. I learnt to treat a woman’s body as a fine musical instrument to tune up enhancing pleasure. I learnt to pleasure myself while pleasuring her. I learnt to delay penetration till she craves for it. It was so difficult initially and presently so easy to retain stiffness! Control your mind. Concentrate on the woman rather than concentrating on your genital. Rest was assured.
During course of training, I met Jaya a few times. She was mostly involved in psychology part. I had developed a strange relationship with her. She may be two years junior to me. She was only child of her parents like me. Our fusion in new relationship did not take much time to grow. What she found in me I didn’t know. I could get solace of my broken heart in her warmth affection.
Four months passed since my travel from Bangalore.
My training was completed. Guruji met me on penultimate day in presence of Jaya.
Guruji addressed me, “This was a learning process where we both intended to learn something from each other. While you may think, what do we need to learn anything from you? Just believe me; no learning process is complete unless we all accept our limitations. While you learnt from our experiences, we also learnt and enriched our experiences from your journey from despair to tranquility. Thank you, Manu, for your devotion and willingness to overcome the hurdles of life. Now, I see a confident man ready to sail through the rough waters. I bless you in your all future assignments. Please remember extending all helps to the needy people when they need most.”
After some pause, he asked, “Manu, are you moving to Bangalore?”
I had no plan. I did not think about it. I accepted the truth.
“Do you remember our discussion on our first meet at Bangalore? We talked about forgiveness. Presently, you are in a state of attaining control of your mind. If the present state of affairs in your house is prevalent to the earlier ones, what will be your probable actions? Now it is clear to you about the situations which were not under your control but decided to gain control over them. Presently you are in better position to make decisions and gain control over situations. Would you like to forgive them?”
Momentarily I traversed to the past of my life. The humiliation, the physical torture, the ugly adultery and my shameless submission, everything flashed in my memory. I expressed my internal feelings, “My acceptance to sissy dressing was out of my trepidation. My acceptance to Kavita’s adultery was due to my anxiety of losing her. My acceptance of humiliation was attributed to my stigma of social pride. It was my utter foolishness asking for sacrifices from my wife. In wanton desire on my selfishness, I had overlooked freedom from constraints. I did compromise on basic requirements of life. My foolish submission to situation only complicated everybody’s life. I could not appreciate the freedom of mind and body.“ I looked at the ever-smiling face of Guruji. With determination I concluded, “Now it’s time to redo the ill effects of my wrongdoings. I can differentiate and appreciate between adjustment &compromise. I am now in a position to appreciate the full glory of life in its neutral, immaculate state. True value of life can only be harnessed in freedom. I will prefer to reinstate her freedom. I will encourage her into happy and prosperous life in society whatever ways she envisages for.”
“I appreciate your goodness. Will you continue to implement your ideas in case your wife seeks forgiveness? Will you forcefully vacate her from your life?”
I looked down and fumbled, “I don’t consider her sole responsible for my past trauma. Being implicated on same offence, I don’t approve my candidature as forgiver. If my forgiveness generates solace in her mind, I will do that happily. I was taking about giving divorce, not about vacating her from my life. I accept my inability to control my mind to that level driving her out of my mind. “
“Manu, I know, you love your wife. You are not able to forget her. Don’t compromise, not only with your life but also with her. Adjustment and compromise are not same though sometimes are viewed unilaterally. Love is synonym with sacrifice, not acquisition. Ask your conscious, and if you are ready to adjust then only proceed. You also need to figure out, what exactly she wanted. What you perceive through your sensory organs is not necessarily always true.”
“Continue practicing Yoga, Pranayama, Meditation and Martial arts. They are feed to your body and mind to keep them alert and healthy. Never misuse your power for reaching self-goal. Extend your help and forgiveness judiciously wherever possible for betterment of mankind.”
Guruji then turned to Jaya, “Take care of him. He may need some guidance from you.”
***
We returned to Hardwar.
One day Jaya asked me after dinner, “Do you still love Kavita?”
Trying to suppression my hesitation I asked, “How does it make any sense? Let her be happy in her new life.”
Jaya replied guardedly, “It may not ignite your interest any more, but it matters me a lot. I need to understand your mental inclination towards her without any ambiguity.”
Yes, I could not stop but loving her. Jaya was looking at me intently. I humbly accepted, “Yes, I do.”
“I envy of her luck. In spite of such uncouth behaviour, you still love her. But does she reciprocate?”
I sighed, “I am not sure. She always sent mixed signals. One moment it appeared she was concerned about me; the next moment she was opposite. She never allowed me to understand her. I don’t know why she behaved with me that way.”
“Do you approve her behaviour?”
“No and yes. She accepted me in my inadequacy. For four years, she did not show any resentment. She performed her duties as a wife. I failed in my duties of a husband. Even she could not attain motherhood. As a woman she deserved better life. I don’t deny her rights to be happy. In her own capacity, she deserved the best of this world. My only objection was in her chosen approaches. She could have divorced me. Also, I don’t appreciate Prem as a good choice. I don’t know why, it always appeared to me as if she has been trapped. It may be my hallucination.”
“If you were convinced that she deserved better, then why did not you divorce her earlier?”
“I couldn’t. I thought of divorcing her many times. My selfishness prevailed over my good concerns. I was proud to have Kavita as my wife. I was also worried for finding a wife in the event she leaves me.” I paused briefly and continued after a thought, “Even the thought of her not with me made me remorseful. I couldn’t think of my life without her.”
“Was she aware of your thought process?”
I took a deep sigh, “I think she knew my weakness.”
“Well, when Prem was bullying you, why didn’t you protest?”
“He was a well-built hunk. I couldn’t fight him physically. He threatened me of impotency. I was scared. I was not mentally strong enough to counter his bully. Also, Kavita had supported him.”
“You could have taken the help of security officer. Why did not you opt for it?
“Yes, that was a viable option. Many a times, I thought about it. What would have I gained? I had no proof of Prem’s bullying. I was fighting to hide my apparent pervert act not to be known to Kavita. Also, there was another problem. Kavita was directly involved. If I complained, she also could have been implemented. Moreover, I wanted her back. I did not want to lose her to Prem. Considering all aspects, I decided against.”
“What is your opinion now? Has Kavita made these plans all alone or Prem is also equally involved? Why was Kavita manipulating so much, you think? She could have divorced you. She already owned half of your property. She could easily get handsome alimony. Why did she risk her life? “
I had no idea. I accepted my ignorance. ”I am not sure. I was devastated. I wanted the matter to end. I somehow tolerated her adultery with the hope of reclaiming her back. I thought, some day she would realize her mistakes and come back. On seeing her belly ring with A.A pendant, my hopes crashed. She was without pills also. Possibly, she was manipulating me to start family with Prem’s baby keeping her marital status with me intact. Immediately, I thought of ending my life. As the time passed, I became slightly calm. I was pondering the idea of exiting from their life to move to an unknown place. Then I met Guruji in the seminar and I was here.”
“Are you thinking of returning to Bangalore?”
“I have to go once at least. Even if I decide relocating myself, I have to collect my credentials to start new.” Hesitantly I added, “Also I want to find out how Kavita is keeping presently. She may be carrying. I ought to give her freedom from marital bondage.”
“Well understood. There are various probabilities. Say, Kavita is going strong with Prem. What are you going to do?”
I replied, “I will consider divorcing her. It is insane to force anybody into a relationship. She deserves freedom and chose her life.”
“There can be a slight variation in above situation. Say, Kavita is leading a slavery life with Prem. Then?”
“She has to decide. I will extend her all help to come out of the situation.“ I expressed my views without thinking. After some thought I said, “Chances are very remote. As far I know Kavita, she would never buckle under force. The question of staying her with Prem under constraint does not arise. I had never observed any discomfiture in her behaviour during her relationship with Prem. Rather she was happy. “
“It could be like she is pregnant and compelled to stay with Prem. She does not want to abort her child. What would you do in that event?”
With some thought I said, “Jaya, you are unnecessarily complicating the issue. She continuing her pregnancy can be a clear indication of her willingness. Also, she does not require to stay with Prem under force as to some extent she is economically independent. I will prefer to give her freedom to decide her life herself.”
“In the event of another probability, if Kavita is found to be leading a solo life, and desires to reconcile with, what will be your options?”
I stared at her for a long time, slowly but affirmatively I replied, “You don’t know her. I have told you my story in details. Do you find any such probability? Why are you so obsessed with her?”
“I need to. She may accept you under constraints. She may not love you. She may pretend love to win back your confidence to cheat you again. She may not accept divorce for purpose. Are you prepared for reconciliation, in that event?”
I couldn’t deny the chances. I was confident of better bed performance. But the married relationship was not entirely physical. Her mental inclination was still unknown. If sexual gratification was her only motive, she would have kept her affairs secret. In practice, she behaved differently. She was keen to publicize her affair to me; at least it appeared to me like that. The last incident flashed in my memory. Holding my hands, she was begging for my return. Even when Prem forced her hands off me, she was begging. She was crying. I did not see her crying. But her voice ensured her state. Was she faking? Why should she fake and why not?
On previous night, she informed me about Prem’s eviction only to be proved wrong next moment. Prem resurfaced at that instant. She wanted to verify my reactions. She had planned in advance everything. It was a well calculated move on her part. Early morning incidents cemented the theory. She pretended to care for me while being overtaken by her boyfriend or present husband. She had told me earlier that, “I can't control my boyfriend, as you know, he's much more possessive over me.” She had made a live demonstration of the possessiveness of her boyfriend over her.
I remembered; she was in full tears just previous day of her shifting to Prem permanently. Next day she shifted. She had preparation since morning. She advanced breakfast. She changed into a seductive sari blouse outfit flaunting her assets. She said that day, "This has been coming for a while now. But it had to happen." She knew everything. She had planned everything. She had been sleeping with Prem regularly for quite some time. Yet she pretended love and affair to divert my mind. She faked tears to create camouflage in my mind. She was capable of doing anything to camouflage my mind. I surrendered to Jaya. “What do you advice?”
“I am a psychiatrist and in better position to read minds of individuals from their behaviours. You see people through your heart; I see them through my brain. I propose to make a visit to your house in Bangalore. Your duty will end at introducing me to Kavita. Rest I will take care. You can depend on my professionalism. Depending on the situations, we can decide future course of action.”
I objected, “Prem will be there. Don’t you think it as audaciously improper to disturb their private affairs? After a pause I suggested, “We can meet her outside and collect my credentials. Why to go to house?”
Jaya smiled, “So your objection is Prem. I will ensure his absence during our visit. Now you should not have any problem. Is it OK?”
It was my turn to get perplexed, “How could you ensure that? You don’t know anybody of them.”
She smiled mischievously, “Prem is an amateur photographer. He can be sent out to attend to some workshop. Leave it on me. We psychiatrists enjoy some secret privileges.”
Still I was skeptical, “She may behave rudely with you. She may even humiliate you also. Worst she may not allow you to enter her house.”
“In that event, our job will be simplified. And don’t worry about my humiliation. Don’t forget about Mind Control. I have learnt how to control my mind.” She teased me after a pause, “Don’t you want to see her baby bump?”
I turned red in embarrassment, “Why are you unnecessary taking so much trouble.”
She smiled, “I am taking trouble because I love you. I want to be happy and your life is in her hand. I got to know her intention prior to making my move.”
There was nothing for me to object, I agreed. I was looking forward to meet Kavita. Was she really pregnant? How would she look in her baby bump? Would she be hidden under burqa? Would she lift her niqab while speaking to me?
“Two more things I need your concurrence. First, you owe a visit to your house at Delhi. Your parents are anxiously waiting for your return.”
The very prospects of meeting my parents lightened my face momentarily only to feel remorse next moment. Jaya noticed my changes and smiled. “Don’t worry. Nobody will ask anything about Kavita. I am in contact with your parents. Don’t ask me details at this moment.”
I got relieved of my paranoid, “Thanks Jaya.” How did she access my parents? Was she in contact with Kavita also? Presently, I decided not to trouble her with my questions. Let her decide of her own.
“You are welcome. We are leaving tomorrow night to Delhi and from there next day to Bangalore. This is settled. The other thing which I want you -----” Jaya was hesitating.
I intervened. “You can confer with me without hesitation. I believe you.”
Jaya hesitated, “I think it can wait till our return from Bangalore.”
I pleaded, “Please Jaya, you also started behaving with me evasive!”
She smiled to assure herself more than me.” Do you accept that, you owe your present life to me more than anybody else in this world other than Guruji?”
I promptly accepted in bright smile, “Definitely yes. I never denied that.”
She whispered, “I love you.”
I smiled, “I know you love me. I also love you. What makes you doubt?”.
With radiant smile she objected, “No No, I am not in doubt. I am reassuring myself.” She stopped briefly before continuing pleadingly, “You can’t refuse. My father has left huge property, which is largely unutilised. I request you to start a business with that money.” Before I could protest, she was quick to add, “Take it as loan. Please don’t refuse. Remember, I own your life and it’s my demand.”
She persisted relentlessly to accept me her proposal. She allowed me to sleep only after ensuring my acceptance.
End of Chapter 31
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