Non-erotic The Gamechangers by Trambak

[Ramesh_Rocky]

When you saw me, you were so relieved! You introduced me to Vivek and everyone else. All were very accommodative. In the bus, both of you sat together because you were tying up the smaller details. During the picnic, you stayed occupied with arrangements. It was Vivek who often came and checked on me. He was indeed the gentleman; smart, coherent and distinguished.

There were party games and people were enjoying and suddenly out of the blue, Vivek requested me to sing a song. I was initially hesitant but then agreed. You know this is one area where I am never short of confidence. As usual, everyone was floored. You and Vivek were standing together and there was so much pride in your eyes.

That was the time that my mind cleared. The doubt was gone and truth dawned on me.

In your eyes, I saw the pride of a parent. Pride for the son who had excelled in a competition. It was like Vivek and you, the two parents were standing together and the mother was going gaga over her child who had done better than others." He paused, gathering his breath. He held me a wee bit tighter.

He quietly spoke in my ears, "you love me; you will do anything for me; even give your life. But akin to a mother who loves her son or a brother who loves his sister. I know it is a cliché but you are no longer 'in love' with me, not anymore. You worry when I am late from office. You are comforted when I am back but there is a difference between feeling relieved and the heart going topsy-turvy.

Down the line, I have gained a friend who is anxious about my well being but have lost a partner, who was once in love, with me."

He stopped.

What could I say? This man never said so many things in one go. He was talking about me and I felt as if I was someone else, listening to a story. And he was right; his assessment was right; he saw right through me and I thought no one could ever know.

"You could have said something, to your partner who was once 'in love;' with you?" I said with mixed feelings.

He laughed aloud, "That word 'once' is so misleading, so complex Tanu, once upon a time; once in a while; once is not enough and so on. 'You live only once,' would be the most apt one in these circumstances. For you, not me.

You every so often said that you could read me like a book and for the last four months, I have been trying! Trying hard to attract your attention; get to you by getting a better look through some expensive grooming; lose some weight and look fitter; eating less; smoking lesser. Trying to be in competition. You sure noticed but felt it was just quirky of me to spend so much on a haircut. As for the rest, you were happy that I was finally getting scared of death and infirmity. The concluding realisation, I was getting old.

I tried to write new chapters in the book you could once read but you kept it aside till I finally saw the writing on the wall and thought it was better to give up."

He finally let me go. We stood apart in body and spirit.

In hindsight, I did notice. I was convinced that Avik was trying his best to look good. For what or for whom, I had no idea and I let him because, I was more occupied with myself; I was in a better mood, more condescending; in a healthier plane of mentation. The fact that Avik was trying to impress me just passed me by.

Yesterday, when Avik brought up his preposterous suggestion about the matrimonial advert, I had a sudden premonition that in his mind, it was he who was moving on. Though it should have been a red flag but I was relieved, funnily.

Avik continued but now he looked gloomy, "You are not young and neither am I. Life is uncertain, who knows how much further shall we live. With the kind of lousy medical advance happening we might make it to 100 years of unhappiness and misery. So, there is still time for the better. I cannot give back your lost time but I can surely stand aside."

Only Avik could joke about death. The heaviness in my heart tore me apart. He looked miserable and I hated myself for causing so much pain, "You know, I, we never..."