Non-erotic The Scarface I Hated by Trambak

[Ramesh_Rocky]

The rest of the household was uneasy. People tried to be nice to me. A pathetic effort, I thought. I was a guest in a hotel. Hospitality sans the rights were provided. It was time for me to check out. It was difficult for me to act normal. I worked quietly. What can you say to someone who doesn't protest? Nothing. I went to the college, Chachi escorted me to the door like a VIP. I felt like laughing. The road looked different, the trees, the buildings, all were different. Only the college looked familiar. This was my workplace though not for long. The day went off routinely and now it was time. I knocked at Shubhra Mukherjee's door, our headmistress. She looked up and gestured me to enter. With a twinkle in her eyes, she said, "Ah, who do we have here, Meherunissa. Well, what brings you to this foggy old woman."

Foggy!! She was always being like a friend. Humorous, sometimes naughty but always sensible.

I have to resign", I said.

She sharply looked at me. Sceptical.

"Will you have a cup of tea?" She asked.

I said nothing, kept looking down.

"Sit down." She said.

I sat, the words refused to come out.

She got up, came around the table and put her hand on my head.

"Tell me everything." She said.

In her simplicity, I found an incredible heart.

Chapter-3: Acceptance

My headmistress was patient. She just held me for some time. I narrated my story and my predicament. She heard me quietly. I had no idea how much time I took. At the end of it when I no longer had the strength or inclination to say anything further, she went back to her chair and sat quietly for a long time. Then she looked at me and said, "What's happening to you is preposterous and if you wish to say no, you can. And, I will support you with whatever little strength that I have. But you must tell me what you want."

I told her that my options were very limited and I had decided against any remonstration.

She said, "I respect your decision and I will not say no to you but I am not going to accept your resignation. You take leave for a month and let this letter be with me. Come back whenever you want. This college will always welcome you. I see a great future for you here."

I could not understand what she meant. I was the youngest teacher but here I felt the oneness that I had never felt anywhere. I was sad to go. I got up from my chair and slowly walked out of the room and then the college gate. I looked back. The door was closing on me. I was outside. My feet were laden, this was my home and I did not want to go back to the house that till yesterday was my home. I did not say goodbye to anyone and just walked off.

My feet took me back to my uncle's place. Just out of practice. Nothing had changed in that house but I was no longer the same. I entered and went to my room. I sat on my bed. I had nothing to do. Nothing interested me anymore. My Chachi came in with bowl of kheer. I took it and ate some and left the rest. Then I felt guilty and finished it. With resolve, I went and sat with the family that was mine not so long ago. I tried to act normal and spoke about the college as I did every day. My sisters were quiet and I felt bad for them. I really loved them and so did they.

Meanwhile, my uncle came in and announced the dates and the preparations that needed to be made. I listened. As if I was a spectator to a play unfolding before my eyes. There were discussions about a lot of things. After some time, I went back to my room. Both my sisters followed me. The younger one embraced me. Large drops of tears welled out of her eyes. Both cried, quietly. I kept sitting like a stone.

The next few days passed by. There were endless number of people who visited. Each had their special ideas and advices. Some were sympathetic and some were twisted. Very little was spoken about my parents except that few wanted to know whether they had left something for my marriage or not. Once informed that they hadn't the crowd enthusiastically espoused the godliness of my uncle for having done so much for me. Some advised me to feel a little grateful towards him. And, I did.

Meanwhile, I distributed all my belongings to my sisters. All my clothes but a handful. Majority of the money, I handed over to Chachi who accepted them as a small token of repayment. I kept my books and a small box in which I found some remnants of my parents. One fine dress, few certificates and some books that I had never examined.

Time passed quickly and finally, the day arrived that I thought I was dreading. But I felt nothing much except some detached curiosity. In the morning, a motley group of ladies came to talk to me ostensibly to educate me about my marital duties. But soon they sensed the futility of it all and begged excuses. That suited me perfectly as I had started enjoying my solitude that had become an integral part of mine.