Adultery The Unwanted Houseguest by Indiansubmale - a tribute
(18-10-2020, 07:29 PM)kittepo Wrote: I had high hopes @manasi but like other authors - you have succumbed to make this story a "good" and "traditional" and 'moral". The one person who was commenting that you are not going to do justice to original story is starting to make sense. You are going the same rabbit hole the other person is going.

1. Original story had only one person view point - You changed to two person. Original story -- author clearly says it is his story.. so he is writing how he perceives others.
2. MAJOR HOLE: Prem/Amir met Gowri only this visit -- they were NOT dating for three years. We have no idea if what Kavitha told about Gowri getting married to Prem to be true or a Ruse for Manu.

In any case best of luck. I think at this point, your story is different than intended. Sorry about that.

I value your apprehensions. I sincerely hope, by early next year I will  be in a position to defend myself. My motive to write this tribute is to find motives of all protagonists. Please go through my first post where I questioned myself on baffling character flaws of Kavita and I am in search for the answers for all the questions.

As regard to your 1st point:

I agree Manu had stated his story in first person up to 26th chapter. In 27th chapter he had been ordered by his wife to include Kavita's version. Being a devoted man to his wife, he can't ignore her. Now question is, how he got access to Kavita's POV. As a hypothetical case, consider he has been married to a lady with whom Kavita confessed everything. Seems practical. Is it not?

As regard to your 2nd point:

On 9th day of reaching Bangalore, Prem takes virginity of Gowri. He is moslim man and Gowri south Indian Braahmin girl. Don't you think it's absurd! Do you think it is acceptable that women have made a bee line to be fucked by Prem. And she is not a college student full of romantic illusion and devoid of any practical sense. Yes, it could have been one year, two years or three years. I thought Gowri is much matured. I clearly said that I will  extrapolate and interpolate some incidents to take the story ahead. The long, characters do not change their colours abruptly or original incidents are not disturbed, I find, I am within my jurisdictions.

Please keep reading and add your valuable thought process.

I will be sincerely reading all the comments, though I may not interact for various reasons.
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Messages In This Thread
RE: The Unwanted Houseguest by Indiansubmale - a tribute - by manasi - 18-10-2020, 09:01 PM
33.1 - by manasi - 23-11-2020, 07:01 AM
33.2 - by manasi - 25-11-2020, 06:22 AM
33.3 revised 26-11-2020 - by manasi - 27-11-2020, 11:13 AM
33.4 final - by manasi - 29-11-2020, 06:26 AM
after chap 33 - by manasi - 29-11-2020, 06:46 AM
RE: after chap 33 - by kamdev99008 - 29-11-2020, 10:28 AM
34.1 - by manasi - 08-12-2020, 09:32 PM
34.2 - by manasi - 09-12-2020, 09:36 PM
34.3 - by manasi - 10-12-2020, 10:03 PM
34.4 - by manasi - 11-12-2020, 08:30 PM
34.5 - by manasi - 12-12-2020, 09:45 PM
RE: 34.5 - by kamdev99008 - 13-12-2020, 01:42 AM
34.6 - by manasi - 14-12-2020, 09:46 AM
34.7 - by manasi - 15-12-2020, 07:21 PM
34.8 - by manasi - 17-12-2020, 09:50 AM
34.9 - by manasi - 18-12-2020, 06:48 AM
35.1 - by manasi - 26-12-2020, 06:57 PM
35.2 - by manasi - 30-12-2020, 09:09 AM



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