18-10-2020, 04:19 PM
(This post was last modified: 18-10-2020, 06:26 PM by manasi. Edited 2 times in total. Edited 2 times in total.)
28.3
Kavita:
I was called inside the consultancy room by 5 pm.
While occupying seat, my mobile flashed. I received a message from Manu. “Should I keep the dinner ready?”
I messaged back, “OK.”
“Please place your mobile in silent mode. There should not be any disturbances.
Dr. Preethi allowed me to be comfortably seated before speaking. “Please make your mind free from any inhibition or preoccupation. I expect absolute concentration and participation from you. My conclusions are solely based on information you and Gowri have shared with me. I have considered both of you are true to your minds and deliberately not manipulated any information to negatively impact my derivation. Obviously, there were some incoherence in your statements which I could resolve through logic and various case studies of similar behavioral inconsistencies. I have tried my best to interpolate and extrapolate the characters of your boyfriend and your husband namely Prem and Manu. Obviously, I have viewed them through your eyes and emotions. In some situations, your views are blurred, suppressed under strong physical desire and guilty consciousness. Consequently, there bound to be some aberration in my judgment. You can rely on me above 80% “
Without proper medical checkup it cannot be concluded about your husband’s sexual inadequacy or impotency. However, you have many misconceptions. Without being aware of it you planted them in your brain. I will try to analyze. Confront me as and when you disagree.”
What is your idea of normal penis length for Indian Male?”
“May be around 7 inches”
Here you made first mistake. Nothing to feel bad about it. In pre marital sexual relationship you experienced 8 inch penis. You considered it normal. As per statistics, average length of male’s organ when erected is 5.2 inches. Your husband has 5 inches. So you can see there is no much difference.”
I was too awestruck by her information, “If that is to be believed, why he could never satisfy me?”
“This needs slightly detailed explanation. Please answer me. Did you enjoy the sex first time you had with your boyfriend? Try to remember.”
“No.” I was honest.
“Can you describe your feelings.”
“I had no idea about penetrative sex. I had a fear in my mind. Will it be painful? Is it really enjoyable? Will my partner be satisfied? All sorts of anxiety had filled in my mind.”
“Did you start your relationship with your boyfriend straightway with penetrative sex?
“No. We were knowing each other for more than a year. We had courtship nearly for two months before going physical.”
What sorts of activities you both were engaged during courtship? I mean, kissing fondling etc. Don’t shy away. You will appreciate the implications.
I lowered my face while answering, “Our courtship started with touches. Slowly we progressed in kisses. Gradually he progressed to fondle me while kissing. A few times I touched his manhood while he felt me.”
"Imagine your case with your boyfriend. For long two months You both explored each other bodies. You have overcome initial inhibitions and excitements of opposite sex. Your curiosity has to some extent been satisfied. In spite of so much experience, you were anxious. "
"Now imagine your case with your husband. He had no girl friend. He had never touched any woman’s hand forget about kissing. You were the first woman in his life. Can you imagine the type of anxiety he was experiencing?"
“Kavita, just compare and tell me what type of performance is expected from Manu?”
“Abysmal.” I was soft.
“Exactly; Yes, Manu did not perform on first night. It was natural. But he failed in your eyes. You did not complain; you did not discuss either. He sensed your dissatisfaction. From your misconception you considered him impotent. You did not go for expert opinion.”
“What exactly prevented you from going to expert?” She asked.
“I was dejected with his manhood size and performance. I was more than sure such small sizes can never orgasm a woman. Moreover he short lived in bed. Just three to four minutes and he would be spent. ” I made a valiant try to home my points.
“Here you are squarely wrong again. 3 to 7 minutes intercourse is considered normal. Orgasm is different story. A woman needs more time to orgasm. There are three phases to orgasm. Foreplay initiates Sexual excitement. Stimulation starts in brain. Different glands starts secretion and blood circulation in genitals increases. It’s a quite slow process for women. Next comes plateau where the body remain in excited state for prolong period. Orgasm is the peak of excitement and release. This is shortest, may be for few seconds and very intense. This is achieved differently by different women. Most women when aroused properly need a few minutes penetration to reach orgasm. Majority of women require stimulation in clitoris.”
“When you had sex with your boyfriend, you had your approval. So brain received positive signal.”
“When you mated with your husband, you were not an active participant. It was one type of raape. You can say marital raape. Like in most of the cases of raape, brain does not receive signal of pleasure. Glands do not secret necessary hormones & chemicals. Consequently, body is not attaining plateau stage. Question of orgasm does not arise.”
“Matter got further complicated as you could not get pregnant. You could have consulted experts which you did not do. You did not allow your husband to get checked. He was getting erection indicates he was not impotent. His anxiety related issues could have been corrected very easily.”
“Let’s examine whether your husband is cuckold or not.”
“By definition: A Cuckold is a husband whose wife had sex with other men.”
“So, the moment you became physical with your boyfriend within wedlock, your husband has become cuckold and discussion ends. “
“Don’t bother in definition. “
“Cuckoldry is a psychological phenomenon. In your case think: ‘cuckolding as a marriage where the husband derives sexual pleasure from watching his wife having sex with a man who has a larger penis, good looking, hot, younger than him or any other traits.’ “
“Let’s view cuckoldry from another angle.”
“Cuckolding is all about inadequacy – not being good enough. “
“From a cuckold’s point of view; It involves: Being cheated on; this already implies inadequacy; preferably by a bigger, better, ‘alpha’ male; creating more feelings of inadequacy; and this man either has a large penis, a good body, or is socially dominant; creating feelings of inadequacy.”
“And most importantly, it involves the girl really enjoying it, submitting to him in a way you’ve never seen before, moaning more than ever, loving every second, and that’s the part which triggers the sense of inadequacy; if she doesn’t enjoy it, it doesn’t make you feel inadequate. Her enjoyment is what triggers those emotions. “
“Usually this would be very hurtful, but for those with a cuckold fetish, inadequacy becomes pleasurable.”
“I presume all above matched exactly for your husband. You had cheated your husband with a well endowed alpha man and enjoyed your love making with a lot of moan and zeal. Definitely your husband was feeling inadequacy. But the question is, did he get pleasure out of his inadequacy.”
“The most important is deriving pleasure. Pleasure originates in mind and ends also in mind. Involvements of other sexual organs are in between phases.”
“Before we dip into your cases, think about ‘raape’ What do you understand by ‘raape’, Kavita.?”
I guardedly answered, “It is a sexual interaction with female body without her consent.”
“You are very near. I would like it to modify female body to any human. Even a male also can be raaped. There are three components, sexual interaction, human body and consent. The term consent is most intriguing factor. Everyday, thousands of women are being raaped. Out of them a few are only brought under legal scrutiny. Does it mean, all the incidents, where victims do not complain are not raape? In every country, women generally do not report the sexual abuse for multiple reasons. Not reporting does not imply consent.”
“With my own experience, I had been grouped multiple times in bus. Though I did not appreciate, I could not protest at that time. It does not imply that I had consent to my grouping. Many women face inappropriate touches on their bodies at different spaces of their lives. Do you think they all enjoy as they do not protest?”
“We all know that raape is a forceful sexual activity without consent of victim. In many raape cases it has been observed vaginal secretion and vaginal secretion occurs due to stimulation in brain. This stimulation in brain can be result of fear, anxiety etc. So, merely presence of vaginal secretion cannot confirm consent of victim in raape. And if it is consented sexual activities, it is not raape.”
“I would like to emphasize here the most important point is to find out the root cause of an activity. An activity has two distinct attributes; first: willing or consented and second: unwilling or forced. Again, forced can be two types; externally forced or internally forced.”
“We will examine now case by case where your husband stands.”
“Cross dressing”
“Cross dressing by Willingness: “
“Did your husband self-arranged or requested you to arrange the female clothes?”
“No. I only purchased without his information.”
“So, he has been forced to cross dressing. Now you confirm the force was internal or external? I mean whether your friend forced or you forced?”
“First time he wore himself. I have no idea if he was forced by Prem. Subsequently, I only asked him to wear feminine clothes. I presumed, he was enjoying.”
“You had never seen him cross dressing in your four years of marriage. He did it only after Prem’s arrival in your house. He may have been coerced. The internal force has some persistence even after removal of force, because it is controlled by mind. Once you have forced him to wear, he will continue to wear, even after withdrawal of force by you. Duty bound to wife’s desire can’t be called submission. It is called obedience, respect, affection or love. Every loving husband is obedient to his wife up to certain degree. Sexual pleasure is out of question. He did not derive any pleasure out of it.”
“Do you have any objection on my derivation?”
I knew the truth. I meekly accepted. “No doctor.”
“Accepting humiliation:”
“Your husband was accepting humiliation without protest. Who were humiliating him? His wife and her boyfriend. Both are more powerful than him. The moment a man loves his wife, he bestows his power to her and vice versa. You accepted; your husband loves you. So, he is already psychologically undermined to you. And your boyfriend is physically stronger than him. In both cases, he can’t fight back. He has to accept the unequal fight and he gracefully accepted. But he did not break under pressure. The act of humiliation from both of you is inhuman, cowardice and cruel behavior. It is called perversion on the part of you and your boyfriend, who are inflicting humiliation on a hapless person. If at all anybody derived sexual pleasure out of this, they are you and your boyfriend.”
”Remember the incident, where your husband is called for serving coffee to all three of you by none but yourself. You were naked under the bed sheet leaning over your lover forcing your husband to take coffee standing beside you. This is great example of perversion. Did you observe, what your husband was doing?”
Gowri must have informed her of this incident. I was barely audible, “His head was bowed down always.”
“If he was enjoying his humiliation, why was his head down, Kavita?”
I could not answer her. I could not lift my head.
“I know, you don’t have the answer. His head was down not because of enjoyment. Rather his head was down on shame, the shame on the behavior of his loving wife. “
She paused for me to digest. After a pregnant pause she asked, “What sort of pleasure did your husband receive in this incidence, Kavita?”
I could not even nod my head in shame.
“If you are satisfied, I will go to next point.”
“Your husband was masturbating seeing your sexual union with your lover. “
“It has been proved beyond doubt that, Sexual activities are great healer of mental tension and anxiety. Couples involved in regular sexual activities live more and faces less heart attacks. This is not miracle. This is because of tension free mind. Masturbation is one form of solo sexual activities.”
“Mr. Manu Sharma was having a lot of mental tension and anxiety. Forget about his professional stresses. He was stressed by his poor sexual performance. He was forced with cross dressing by his loving wife. He was physically being abused by his wife’s lover in presence of his loving wife. He was being humiliated up to the core of his mind. He was being treated like a slave in his own house. He was being ordered by his wife’s guest boyfriend. He was doubtful whether his wife really loved him or not. His wife was sleeping with his boyfriend in a separate room under the same roof. His wife had made a perfect display of her sexual act. His wife had become a sex slave to her boyfriend.
Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress
There was no mechanism for him to relieve stress. His wife was out of bound for him. She did not extend any sexual relief to her husband. But he was a normal adult man with sexual desires.”
“What should have he done to get his sexual relief?”
“Available options were: Raape any woman, Seducing friend’s wife, visit to a brothel, taking advantage of office colleague, masturbation, Involve in gay relationship with another man. Please add to the list any other suitable options available. Kavita, now you decide, what your husband should do?”
My brain stopped functioning. I kept looking at her face indecisively.
“Kavita, your husband urgently needs to release his sexual tension. You have to take a decision. Though you are his wife, you are out of bound for him. He has many other options. He needs your permission. You can’t remain quiet.”
Dr. M Preethi was persistent for an answer.
Finally, I raised my head and whispered, “Masturbation.”
“So, you have no objection in masturbation.”
She waited for me to absorb my acquaintance and whispered, “Kavita, do you always stay at home or sometimes go out alone to get your immediate purchases, or visit to parlor etc.?”
I could not follow her sudden change and replied, “Yes doctor. Most of the time I move alone in such requirement.”
“Good! Do you take permission of your husband before visiting outside? He is your legal guardian and head of the family.”
I objected, “No doctor. Why do I need permission of my husband on silly personal matters? We are not living in primitive society. I believe in women’s freedom. My education has given me freedom.”
Dr. Preethi smiled, “Good. Kavita, have you seen some women in burqa clad? mostly you will find them in market and cinema hall. Why are they hiding their faces in public? Are they ugly of forced? What’s your opinion Kavita? I strongly feel they were ugly to reveal their faces.”
I immediately visualized Puja-Aslam, friends of Manu. I met them outside cinema hall. She was educated. Her husband was educated. She was in burqa. She spoke to Manu and Prem freely exposing her face. Her husband did not object. So, it could be social stigma. I answered, “Mostly they use burqa under religion or social restrictions. Definitely they are not ugly. In some instances, they may be forced, even though they may not accept willingly.”
“So, you accept, in some exceptional cases women’s freedom is jeopardized. Right of personal freedom is jeopardized. This may need correction.”
I enraged, “Definitely. There is no doubt. Even in our religion and society some women suffer. They don’t have any freedom. They are treated like free slaves for doing household works. They don’t have any voice. They don’t have any choice of their life style.”
I was interrupted, “So, you agree that women should be given freedom. They should be treated at per with men. There should be value of their opinion. They should lead life with dignity. In your opinion, what is the major reason for not achieving the same? “
I thought and said, “I think it is lack of education. Once people are educated, especially the women this injustice will eradicate.”
Dr. Preethi smiled, “So one educated woman should expect freedom from social evils. Her husband should give her freedom in her personal affairs.”
I got her point now. She had tactfully homed her points. I accepted, “You are correct doctor.”
She looked at me and declared emphatically, “Here you are Kavita. Your husband did not stop your adultery. He is an educated man believing in women’s freedom. He believes, a woman is the owner of her body and mind. He does not believe in force. He has been taught on how to respect a woman. Giving respect and being cowardice are not same. It would have been wrong on his part to force you against your wish. I sincerely respect your husband for respecting his wife and women folk as a whole. He suffered in the hand of his wife but did not forget his education. He continued respecting women. The poor husband even could not go to security officer. You have made him poor. Can you tell, why did he not report to security officer? “
“I did never think of him reporting to security officer. I knew he loves me. I was worried for my pride and honour. I was worried for finding out a solution to get freedom from Prem. I think he did not go to security officer for my pride & honour.”
“So, you accept that not objecting your adultery not necessarily to be granted as acceptance. There can be various circumstances where a person doesn’t accept but fail to register an objection.”
Dr. Preethi kept silence for long time appeared to be reviewing my reactions. She resumed her analysis. “Now we will analyze the second part whether Manu derived any sexual pleasure seeing your copulation while masturbating.”
“Prior to this, I have some questions for you. Sex is intimate private affairs between two persons which involves physical & emotional attachments. Even in nature you will observe animals search for privacy. You had already shifted to a separate room with your boyfriend. What made you keep doors open during sexual acts? In addition you also arranged for bedside lamps for clear visibility. Can you explain the reasons?”
I knew the reasons but could not tell her. I maintained silence.
After a while she continued, “The reason is, you and your boyfriend both are perverts. And Gowri is also not different. All of you are mentally sick.”
I put my head down. I knew the truth in my mind. The difference was I was being told by some expert in the field.
“In nature, animals are normally engaged in sex for reproduction. Unlike animals, human are more involved in sex for pleasure rather than reproduction. Our brains are stimulated by any description of sex, received by our sensory organs. Porn and adult videos, erotic novels, erotic pictures or sculptures are all examples. So, when your husband had seen you copulating with Prem, his brain perceived it as a visual sexual act for sexual stimulation. It did not matter, whether the woman involved was his wife or some other woman. Under his deprived sexuality, a simple erotic picture could have indulged him in masturbation.”
“You forced him to serve coffee in bedroom. You forced him to have coffee standing. Did you observe your husband? Did you find glow on his face? No, his face was down. He was ashamed for his wife. He did not derive any pleasure seeing you three on same bed. You both humiliated him, tortured him, coerced him to accept your liaison. Could you remember a single incident, where your husband actively encouraged you unabated in your adultery to harness sexual gratification for himself? ”
she took long break for me to answer her question. I remained silent putting my face down.
Dr. Preethi continued as if she was speaking to herself, “I know, you cannot. Physical torture normally a person forgets easily. With elapsed time, its intensity reduces. Psychological tortures are deep rooted in our mind. Time may not heal the pain completely, caused by humiliation. I have witnessed many cases where persons under Psychological tortures have gone mad. Many have even ended their lives.”
I was in real panic now. I never allowed my thinking process to reach up to this level. I wanted my husband to submit to my craving and accept my objective. In my wanton selfishness I ignored the other possibilities. I was preoccupied, I was coerced. “Most probably she is right. Why most probably, she is professional, she is bound to be right. How could I allow this to happen? I know from my heart, I love him. Definitely, I love him. I cannot accept such dreadful aftereffects of my husband. “
“Shall I get back my husband? Will he be all right?” was my spontaneous reaction.
“I can’t promise. You have caused enough damage to your husband. He may not trust or believe you anymore. Regaining trust is many times tougher than losing it. You have a daunting task ahead. You try if you can make him believing you. Best will be to bring him here for checkups. I will be in better position to guide you. Can you get your husband here for consultation?”
“I will try to convince him for consultation.” I meekly answered.
Dr. Preethi called Gowri in. She addressed Gowri, “I have deliberated some issues with Kavita. Mr. Manu Sharma is not cuckold. I emphasize that your activities in the house of Mr. Manu Sharma are legally punishable for cruelty, mental torture and physical abuse. May be you are not directly involved. But you can never deny your inactive participation. For your own benefit, its better, you abstain from all these and maintain harmony. I congratulate you for arriving at a decision of snapping relationship with Prem.”
Dr. Preethi focused her attention to me.
“I will summarize our discussion. Based on your deliberation, I make the following conclusions.
Your husband is a perfect normal person with enviable moral values. He is not cuckold.
Without proper medical checkup it cannot be concluded his sexual inadequacy .
You have many misconceptions on genetics and sexology which needs correction.
You have been engaged in activities causing irreparable psychological damage to your husband and that may lead to loss of memory or even he may end his life.
You have deliberately complicated your life to the extent possible to complicate.
You all three are legally punishable for cruelty, mental torture and physical abuse.”
"If you are satisfied we may conclude our discussion.”
We thanked her and walked to door for exiting.
I heard Dr. Preethi's voice from behind, “Kavita, please stay back. I need some of your time." We turned to face her again.
Presently she addressed to Gowri, "Gowri, can you please excuse us for some more time?”
Kavita:
I was called inside the consultancy room by 5 pm.
While occupying seat, my mobile flashed. I received a message from Manu. “Should I keep the dinner ready?”
I messaged back, “OK.”
“Please place your mobile in silent mode. There should not be any disturbances.
Dr. Preethi allowed me to be comfortably seated before speaking. “Please make your mind free from any inhibition or preoccupation. I expect absolute concentration and participation from you. My conclusions are solely based on information you and Gowri have shared with me. I have considered both of you are true to your minds and deliberately not manipulated any information to negatively impact my derivation. Obviously, there were some incoherence in your statements which I could resolve through logic and various case studies of similar behavioral inconsistencies. I have tried my best to interpolate and extrapolate the characters of your boyfriend and your husband namely Prem and Manu. Obviously, I have viewed them through your eyes and emotions. In some situations, your views are blurred, suppressed under strong physical desire and guilty consciousness. Consequently, there bound to be some aberration in my judgment. You can rely on me above 80% “
Without proper medical checkup it cannot be concluded about your husband’s sexual inadequacy or impotency. However, you have many misconceptions. Without being aware of it you planted them in your brain. I will try to analyze. Confront me as and when you disagree.”
What is your idea of normal penis length for Indian Male?”
“May be around 7 inches”
Here you made first mistake. Nothing to feel bad about it. In pre marital sexual relationship you experienced 8 inch penis. You considered it normal. As per statistics, average length of male’s organ when erected is 5.2 inches. Your husband has 5 inches. So you can see there is no much difference.”
I was too awestruck by her information, “If that is to be believed, why he could never satisfy me?”
“This needs slightly detailed explanation. Please answer me. Did you enjoy the sex first time you had with your boyfriend? Try to remember.”
“No.” I was honest.
“Can you describe your feelings.”
“I had no idea about penetrative sex. I had a fear in my mind. Will it be painful? Is it really enjoyable? Will my partner be satisfied? All sorts of anxiety had filled in my mind.”
“Did you start your relationship with your boyfriend straightway with penetrative sex?
“No. We were knowing each other for more than a year. We had courtship nearly for two months before going physical.”
What sorts of activities you both were engaged during courtship? I mean, kissing fondling etc. Don’t shy away. You will appreciate the implications.
I lowered my face while answering, “Our courtship started with touches. Slowly we progressed in kisses. Gradually he progressed to fondle me while kissing. A few times I touched his manhood while he felt me.”
"Imagine your case with your boyfriend. For long two months You both explored each other bodies. You have overcome initial inhibitions and excitements of opposite sex. Your curiosity has to some extent been satisfied. In spite of so much experience, you were anxious. "
"Now imagine your case with your husband. He had no girl friend. He had never touched any woman’s hand forget about kissing. You were the first woman in his life. Can you imagine the type of anxiety he was experiencing?"
“Kavita, just compare and tell me what type of performance is expected from Manu?”
“Abysmal.” I was soft.
“Exactly; Yes, Manu did not perform on first night. It was natural. But he failed in your eyes. You did not complain; you did not discuss either. He sensed your dissatisfaction. From your misconception you considered him impotent. You did not go for expert opinion.”
“What exactly prevented you from going to expert?” She asked.
“I was dejected with his manhood size and performance. I was more than sure such small sizes can never orgasm a woman. Moreover he short lived in bed. Just three to four minutes and he would be spent. ” I made a valiant try to home my points.
“Here you are squarely wrong again. 3 to 7 minutes intercourse is considered normal. Orgasm is different story. A woman needs more time to orgasm. There are three phases to orgasm. Foreplay initiates Sexual excitement. Stimulation starts in brain. Different glands starts secretion and blood circulation in genitals increases. It’s a quite slow process for women. Next comes plateau where the body remain in excited state for prolong period. Orgasm is the peak of excitement and release. This is shortest, may be for few seconds and very intense. This is achieved differently by different women. Most women when aroused properly need a few minutes penetration to reach orgasm. Majority of women require stimulation in clitoris.”
“When you had sex with your boyfriend, you had your approval. So brain received positive signal.”
“When you mated with your husband, you were not an active participant. It was one type of raape. You can say marital raape. Like in most of the cases of raape, brain does not receive signal of pleasure. Glands do not secret necessary hormones & chemicals. Consequently, body is not attaining plateau stage. Question of orgasm does not arise.”
“Matter got further complicated as you could not get pregnant. You could have consulted experts which you did not do. You did not allow your husband to get checked. He was getting erection indicates he was not impotent. His anxiety related issues could have been corrected very easily.”
“Let’s examine whether your husband is cuckold or not.”
“By definition: A Cuckold is a husband whose wife had sex with other men.”
“So, the moment you became physical with your boyfriend within wedlock, your husband has become cuckold and discussion ends. “
“Don’t bother in definition. “
“Cuckoldry is a psychological phenomenon. In your case think: ‘cuckolding as a marriage where the husband derives sexual pleasure from watching his wife having sex with a man who has a larger penis, good looking, hot, younger than him or any other traits.’ “
“Let’s view cuckoldry from another angle.”
“Cuckolding is all about inadequacy – not being good enough. “
“From a cuckold’s point of view; It involves: Being cheated on; this already implies inadequacy; preferably by a bigger, better, ‘alpha’ male; creating more feelings of inadequacy; and this man either has a large penis, a good body, or is socially dominant; creating feelings of inadequacy.”
“And most importantly, it involves the girl really enjoying it, submitting to him in a way you’ve never seen before, moaning more than ever, loving every second, and that’s the part which triggers the sense of inadequacy; if she doesn’t enjoy it, it doesn’t make you feel inadequate. Her enjoyment is what triggers those emotions. “
“Usually this would be very hurtful, but for those with a cuckold fetish, inadequacy becomes pleasurable.”
“I presume all above matched exactly for your husband. You had cheated your husband with a well endowed alpha man and enjoyed your love making with a lot of moan and zeal. Definitely your husband was feeling inadequacy. But the question is, did he get pleasure out of his inadequacy.”
“The most important is deriving pleasure. Pleasure originates in mind and ends also in mind. Involvements of other sexual organs are in between phases.”
“Before we dip into your cases, think about ‘raape’ What do you understand by ‘raape’, Kavita.?”
I guardedly answered, “It is a sexual interaction with female body without her consent.”
“You are very near. I would like it to modify female body to any human. Even a male also can be raaped. There are three components, sexual interaction, human body and consent. The term consent is most intriguing factor. Everyday, thousands of women are being raaped. Out of them a few are only brought under legal scrutiny. Does it mean, all the incidents, where victims do not complain are not raape? In every country, women generally do not report the sexual abuse for multiple reasons. Not reporting does not imply consent.”
“With my own experience, I had been grouped multiple times in bus. Though I did not appreciate, I could not protest at that time. It does not imply that I had consent to my grouping. Many women face inappropriate touches on their bodies at different spaces of their lives. Do you think they all enjoy as they do not protest?”
“We all know that raape is a forceful sexual activity without consent of victim. In many raape cases it has been observed vaginal secretion and vaginal secretion occurs due to stimulation in brain. This stimulation in brain can be result of fear, anxiety etc. So, merely presence of vaginal secretion cannot confirm consent of victim in raape. And if it is consented sexual activities, it is not raape.”
“I would like to emphasize here the most important point is to find out the root cause of an activity. An activity has two distinct attributes; first: willing or consented and second: unwilling or forced. Again, forced can be two types; externally forced or internally forced.”
“We will examine now case by case where your husband stands.”
“Cross dressing”
“Cross dressing by Willingness: “
“Did your husband self-arranged or requested you to arrange the female clothes?”
“No. I only purchased without his information.”
“So, he has been forced to cross dressing. Now you confirm the force was internal or external? I mean whether your friend forced or you forced?”
“First time he wore himself. I have no idea if he was forced by Prem. Subsequently, I only asked him to wear feminine clothes. I presumed, he was enjoying.”
“You had never seen him cross dressing in your four years of marriage. He did it only after Prem’s arrival in your house. He may have been coerced. The internal force has some persistence even after removal of force, because it is controlled by mind. Once you have forced him to wear, he will continue to wear, even after withdrawal of force by you. Duty bound to wife’s desire can’t be called submission. It is called obedience, respect, affection or love. Every loving husband is obedient to his wife up to certain degree. Sexual pleasure is out of question. He did not derive any pleasure out of it.”
“Do you have any objection on my derivation?”
I knew the truth. I meekly accepted. “No doctor.”
“Accepting humiliation:”
“Your husband was accepting humiliation without protest. Who were humiliating him? His wife and her boyfriend. Both are more powerful than him. The moment a man loves his wife, he bestows his power to her and vice versa. You accepted; your husband loves you. So, he is already psychologically undermined to you. And your boyfriend is physically stronger than him. In both cases, he can’t fight back. He has to accept the unequal fight and he gracefully accepted. But he did not break under pressure. The act of humiliation from both of you is inhuman, cowardice and cruel behavior. It is called perversion on the part of you and your boyfriend, who are inflicting humiliation on a hapless person. If at all anybody derived sexual pleasure out of this, they are you and your boyfriend.”
”Remember the incident, where your husband is called for serving coffee to all three of you by none but yourself. You were naked under the bed sheet leaning over your lover forcing your husband to take coffee standing beside you. This is great example of perversion. Did you observe, what your husband was doing?”
Gowri must have informed her of this incident. I was barely audible, “His head was bowed down always.”
“If he was enjoying his humiliation, why was his head down, Kavita?”
I could not answer her. I could not lift my head.
“I know, you don’t have the answer. His head was down not because of enjoyment. Rather his head was down on shame, the shame on the behavior of his loving wife. “
She paused for me to digest. After a pregnant pause she asked, “What sort of pleasure did your husband receive in this incidence, Kavita?”
I could not even nod my head in shame.
“If you are satisfied, I will go to next point.”
“Your husband was masturbating seeing your sexual union with your lover. “
“It has been proved beyond doubt that, Sexual activities are great healer of mental tension and anxiety. Couples involved in regular sexual activities live more and faces less heart attacks. This is not miracle. This is because of tension free mind. Masturbation is one form of solo sexual activities.”
“Mr. Manu Sharma was having a lot of mental tension and anxiety. Forget about his professional stresses. He was stressed by his poor sexual performance. He was forced with cross dressing by his loving wife. He was physically being abused by his wife’s lover in presence of his loving wife. He was being humiliated up to the core of his mind. He was being treated like a slave in his own house. He was being ordered by his wife’s guest boyfriend. He was doubtful whether his wife really loved him or not. His wife was sleeping with his boyfriend in a separate room under the same roof. His wife had made a perfect display of her sexual act. His wife had become a sex slave to her boyfriend.
Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress
There was no mechanism for him to relieve stress. His wife was out of bound for him. She did not extend any sexual relief to her husband. But he was a normal adult man with sexual desires.”
“What should have he done to get his sexual relief?”
“Available options were: Raape any woman, Seducing friend’s wife, visit to a brothel, taking advantage of office colleague, masturbation, Involve in gay relationship with another man. Please add to the list any other suitable options available. Kavita, now you decide, what your husband should do?”
My brain stopped functioning. I kept looking at her face indecisively.
“Kavita, your husband urgently needs to release his sexual tension. You have to take a decision. Though you are his wife, you are out of bound for him. He has many other options. He needs your permission. You can’t remain quiet.”
Dr. M Preethi was persistent for an answer.
Finally, I raised my head and whispered, “Masturbation.”
“So, you have no objection in masturbation.”
She waited for me to absorb my acquaintance and whispered, “Kavita, do you always stay at home or sometimes go out alone to get your immediate purchases, or visit to parlor etc.?”
I could not follow her sudden change and replied, “Yes doctor. Most of the time I move alone in such requirement.”
“Good! Do you take permission of your husband before visiting outside? He is your legal guardian and head of the family.”
I objected, “No doctor. Why do I need permission of my husband on silly personal matters? We are not living in primitive society. I believe in women’s freedom. My education has given me freedom.”
Dr. Preethi smiled, “Good. Kavita, have you seen some women in burqa clad? mostly you will find them in market and cinema hall. Why are they hiding their faces in public? Are they ugly of forced? What’s your opinion Kavita? I strongly feel they were ugly to reveal their faces.”
I immediately visualized Puja-Aslam, friends of Manu. I met them outside cinema hall. She was educated. Her husband was educated. She was in burqa. She spoke to Manu and Prem freely exposing her face. Her husband did not object. So, it could be social stigma. I answered, “Mostly they use burqa under religion or social restrictions. Definitely they are not ugly. In some instances, they may be forced, even though they may not accept willingly.”
“So, you accept, in some exceptional cases women’s freedom is jeopardized. Right of personal freedom is jeopardized. This may need correction.”
I enraged, “Definitely. There is no doubt. Even in our religion and society some women suffer. They don’t have any freedom. They are treated like free slaves for doing household works. They don’t have any voice. They don’t have any choice of their life style.”
I was interrupted, “So, you agree that women should be given freedom. They should be treated at per with men. There should be value of their opinion. They should lead life with dignity. In your opinion, what is the major reason for not achieving the same? “
I thought and said, “I think it is lack of education. Once people are educated, especially the women this injustice will eradicate.”
Dr. Preethi smiled, “So one educated woman should expect freedom from social evils. Her husband should give her freedom in her personal affairs.”
I got her point now. She had tactfully homed her points. I accepted, “You are correct doctor.”
She looked at me and declared emphatically, “Here you are Kavita. Your husband did not stop your adultery. He is an educated man believing in women’s freedom. He believes, a woman is the owner of her body and mind. He does not believe in force. He has been taught on how to respect a woman. Giving respect and being cowardice are not same. It would have been wrong on his part to force you against your wish. I sincerely respect your husband for respecting his wife and women folk as a whole. He suffered in the hand of his wife but did not forget his education. He continued respecting women. The poor husband even could not go to security officer. You have made him poor. Can you tell, why did he not report to security officer? “
“I did never think of him reporting to security officer. I knew he loves me. I was worried for my pride and honour. I was worried for finding out a solution to get freedom from Prem. I think he did not go to security officer for my pride & honour.”
“So, you accept that not objecting your adultery not necessarily to be granted as acceptance. There can be various circumstances where a person doesn’t accept but fail to register an objection.”
Dr. Preethi kept silence for long time appeared to be reviewing my reactions. She resumed her analysis. “Now we will analyze the second part whether Manu derived any sexual pleasure seeing your copulation while masturbating.”
“Prior to this, I have some questions for you. Sex is intimate private affairs between two persons which involves physical & emotional attachments. Even in nature you will observe animals search for privacy. You had already shifted to a separate room with your boyfriend. What made you keep doors open during sexual acts? In addition you also arranged for bedside lamps for clear visibility. Can you explain the reasons?”
I knew the reasons but could not tell her. I maintained silence.
After a while she continued, “The reason is, you and your boyfriend both are perverts. And Gowri is also not different. All of you are mentally sick.”
I put my head down. I knew the truth in my mind. The difference was I was being told by some expert in the field.
“In nature, animals are normally engaged in sex for reproduction. Unlike animals, human are more involved in sex for pleasure rather than reproduction. Our brains are stimulated by any description of sex, received by our sensory organs. Porn and adult videos, erotic novels, erotic pictures or sculptures are all examples. So, when your husband had seen you copulating with Prem, his brain perceived it as a visual sexual act for sexual stimulation. It did not matter, whether the woman involved was his wife or some other woman. Under his deprived sexuality, a simple erotic picture could have indulged him in masturbation.”
“You forced him to serve coffee in bedroom. You forced him to have coffee standing. Did you observe your husband? Did you find glow on his face? No, his face was down. He was ashamed for his wife. He did not derive any pleasure seeing you three on same bed. You both humiliated him, tortured him, coerced him to accept your liaison. Could you remember a single incident, where your husband actively encouraged you unabated in your adultery to harness sexual gratification for himself? ”
she took long break for me to answer her question. I remained silent putting my face down.
Dr. Preethi continued as if she was speaking to herself, “I know, you cannot. Physical torture normally a person forgets easily. With elapsed time, its intensity reduces. Psychological tortures are deep rooted in our mind. Time may not heal the pain completely, caused by humiliation. I have witnessed many cases where persons under Psychological tortures have gone mad. Many have even ended their lives.”
I was in real panic now. I never allowed my thinking process to reach up to this level. I wanted my husband to submit to my craving and accept my objective. In my wanton selfishness I ignored the other possibilities. I was preoccupied, I was coerced. “Most probably she is right. Why most probably, she is professional, she is bound to be right. How could I allow this to happen? I know from my heart, I love him. Definitely, I love him. I cannot accept such dreadful aftereffects of my husband. “
“Shall I get back my husband? Will he be all right?” was my spontaneous reaction.
“I can’t promise. You have caused enough damage to your husband. He may not trust or believe you anymore. Regaining trust is many times tougher than losing it. You have a daunting task ahead. You try if you can make him believing you. Best will be to bring him here for checkups. I will be in better position to guide you. Can you get your husband here for consultation?”
“I will try to convince him for consultation.” I meekly answered.
Dr. Preethi called Gowri in. She addressed Gowri, “I have deliberated some issues with Kavita. Mr. Manu Sharma is not cuckold. I emphasize that your activities in the house of Mr. Manu Sharma are legally punishable for cruelty, mental torture and physical abuse. May be you are not directly involved. But you can never deny your inactive participation. For your own benefit, its better, you abstain from all these and maintain harmony. I congratulate you for arriving at a decision of snapping relationship with Prem.”
Dr. Preethi focused her attention to me.
“I will summarize our discussion. Based on your deliberation, I make the following conclusions.
Your husband is a perfect normal person with enviable moral values. He is not cuckold.
Without proper medical checkup it cannot be concluded his sexual inadequacy .
You have many misconceptions on genetics and sexology which needs correction.
You have been engaged in activities causing irreparable psychological damage to your husband and that may lead to loss of memory or even he may end his life.
You have deliberately complicated your life to the extent possible to complicate.
You all three are legally punishable for cruelty, mental torture and physical abuse.”
"If you are satisfied we may conclude our discussion.”
We thanked her and walked to door for exiting.
I heard Dr. Preethi's voice from behind, “Kavita, please stay back. I need some of your time." We turned to face her again.
Presently she addressed to Gowri, "Gowri, can you please excuse us for some more time?”
![[+]](https://xossipy.com/themes/sharepoint/collapse_collapsed.png)