03-10-2020, 06:44 AM
27.1
Manu
She saw me grazing at her naval. She blushed and hurriedly shifted her sari to cover her belly. Did she blush? I was not sure. I did not have another chance to inspect the belly ring mainly due to her conscious efforts to cover it and the angle she was maintaining from my look. Was it an unintended display for me? It looked pretty logical. She was covered in a full body nightie when I arrived from office. She changed into sari exposing her naval only after ensuring arrival of her guests, her lover and his fiancé. Presently, they were discussing about agonising increased traffic in Bangalore. Obviously, I was a non-participating audience. I sensed Gowri was glancing at me. She averted her look immediately on my recognition. It was a mystic look I had observed from the day she had started visiting our house. She appeared to be resisting herself to inform me something. Kavita was facing Gowri standing in front of me. I could not see her facial reactions.
Surprisingly, I was not asked to wash the tea cups after tea was over. There was a radical change in her behaviour from previous weekends. Kavita collected the cups and went to kitchen wash basin. Gowri followed her. They had some very low voice discussion while Kavita washed the cups & saucers. Prem was silently observing my eye movement, I suppose. He stealthy approached me from behind, chuckled, “Again looking at my bitches Pussy Boy!”
I jumped on reflex. We were not in speaking terms. Better to say, I avoided conversing to both of them except on urgent requirements. Even, I had stopped communicating with Kavita in the house from my side. Last I had spoken to her two weeks ago when Prem was out to drop Gowri after her second visit. It’s not that I did not find her alone. Mostly, Prem was late to reach home since Kavita shifted to his room. I did never felt that enthusiasm to speak to her in privacy. I had very little to discuss with her in privacy. We did not require any privacy. I preferred to talk to her on phone on urgent requirements. She did speak to me over weekends mostly to pass on instructions. The same was with Prem also. Last time he addressed me during our travel while I was giving him lift on Kavita’s request. That time he bullied me with Kavita’s pregnancy, her babies. I was scared. Since then we did not speak, not even on the very next day, I had given him lift to his office.
After cleaning, the two ladies walked towards Prem’s bedroom. Prem was following them. Kavita turned and stopped Prem in the middle. ”Prem, you better stay here. We girls wish not to be disturbed for some time.”
Gowri added,” And you are brining dinner for us. Contact me from restaurant for finalising menu. Don’t disturb Manu.”
Both fixed their look on my face simultaneously, smiled difficult to interpret, again looked at themselves and turned around to enter Prem’s bedroom.
Prem frowned disapprovingly at me with a filthy look. He had no option to send me out. He looked at me filthily again before leaving.
I found it an opportunity to introspect. “What I wanted to prove in last two and half months since Prem’s arrival and more than that, what am I going to do in the present changed scenario?”
I took time to clean the kitchen area & rest of the utensils and fixed plates on the dining table before retiring to my bedroom.
My mind embroiled on what I had just observed. I could not believe my eyes. She was flaunting her belly rings engraved with A.A. The only hope I had in my mind wiped out. She appeared not to adhere to her promise of two weeks. Truly speaking, she did not promise. She had other concerns with her boyfriend as well. In the morning, she was clearly unhappy on my call. She got irritated on my impatience. Only hope she had given that Prem had agreed to Sunday. The optimism I generated vanished completely. She was possessed by Prem. Kavita, my wife presently belonged to Prem. She had openly accepted her total submission to her boyfriend.
She had planned it meticulously. I should have guessed it in the morning itself, when I had phoned her. She told, “Prem had agreed for Sunday.”
I presumed, “Prem had agreed to leave on Sunday.”
I was wrong. Prem had agreed for Sunday to play a greater role in her life. She had played well with my mind. She was scheming something behind my foolishness all the time while she blamed me for that. She told, bitterly, "Who knows? You might be scheming something."
Background noises clearly suggested for her occupation in parlour for the gallant show. Clearly, she was disturbed on my call. Before shifting with her boyfriend, she said in a sarcastic manner, with intone,"That I am not surprised by. You are evidently slow not merely in bed." She was right in her analysis; “my brain is also rusted similar to my physical performance. “
I remembered when I returned from office a few hours ago, she was in deep thought. “She must have been evaluating various situations to make me informed on her decisions and follow up reactions. Finally, she has decided to reveal the truth in presence of Prem & Gowri, so that they can also enjoy my ultimate humiliation.”
I observed, she did not have the beaming smile I have been used to see in recent past. As if the smile was forced. Did she want to convey me that she was not happy to be possessed by Prem but my inadequacy had forced her to take this extreme decision? How can it be? There’s nothing to be proved fresh on this matter. "You cannot be Prem, and Prem cannot be you. There is no point in your trying to compete with him where you KNOW you can't compete with him." Kavita told earlier, I remembered. My inadequacy in bed was well proved. She knew it, I knew it. So, there must be something different. Belly ring may be indicative to something else beyond possession of my wife. Twice Prem placed tattoo on her body with A.A inscribed as a mark of his ownership. He already possessed her body in all respect. She was sharing his bed all nights. She was spending all of her time with him. Then why she adorned her body with the belly ring pendant freshly? That also when Prem was deemed to leave?
Then it stuck in my mind. Last, time when I was giving Prem lift in my car, Prem intimidated me, "You've already been trained much better by your pretty wife, P.B. And you needed it; you needed to be mentally trained so you can raise your pretty wife's babies."
“Does the belly ring pendant have significance to this? Belly, the womb belongs to Prem. She is permitting Prem to impregnate her. Is this what she meant by her word ‘Prem has agreed for Sunday’? Maybe she is already pregnant. May be, she has stopped taking birth control pills and manipulating systematically to divert my attention. Maybe, she is planning for a grand party on Sunday, who knows? My wife has planned everything meticulously in all earlier incidents to make me fool. Prem was correct. I was being trained to accept her illegitimate children with Prem. She never loved me. She never wanted Prem to leave. My role is to support her financially and provide social respect to her and her children. Her children fathered by Prem!” I felt a compelling urge to check the medicine box again. I wanted confirmation on her decision. I decided to wait for right opportunity.
I wiped my eyes silently.
When Kavita knocked my door for dinner, I had resolved not to express my internal turmoil to expose. It surprised me seeing her in a most conservative shalwar Kameez suit. She had changed her dress again. So, it was confirmed, she did not want me a show off of her belly ring presently. The untoward mistake had been corrected amicably. It was meant to be appreciated by her lover, father of her future baby. It appeared the celebration was not planned for tonight. I got a relief from immediate humiliation. If her purpose of flaunting belly ring was to keep me in my place, her purpose had been fulfilled.
I maintained a stoic appearance in dining table. I was hungry but not feeling like eating. I continued playing with food of my plate making a show. I could not leave dining table abruptly inviting unwarranted attention. Prem was making silly jokes to keep both ladies involved. Gowri occasionally joined not appeared to be enthusiastic. My third sense cautioned me. Kavita was observing me silently. Normally they ignored my presence in dining table as had observed in previous weeks. I concentrated more on my actions generating an impression of keenly occupied in eating. She was weighing my reactions, I presumed. “I am not giving you any chance to read my mind any more my darling wife”, I cautioned myself. Presently Kavita got up collecting her plate. Did she understand my plight? Did she read my mind? Gowri followed her suit making it easy for me.
I collected the remaining plates to clean. Gowri offered help, which I politely denied, “You are our guest. I cannot allow you.”Gowri was showering more respect: I became more cautious. She appeared offended by her look before silently moving to drawing room. Kavita continued gazing at me from the threshold of kitchen. Most probably she was inspecting my cleaning quality. Mistress of my master was supervising the slave of the house. "Manu, please wash them thoroughly if you are going to offer to wash them. I don't like to put on clothes dirty after washing, or clothes with soap stains." She didn’t tell me presently. I remembered her earlier comments after inspecting the clothes I had washed. I was afraid she will call Gowri & Prem before declaring, “Manu, please clean the dishes properly. I can’t serve food to my lover in unhygienic plates.” I concentrated on cleaning not desiring to be humiliated on pretty issues in presence of Gowri.
Prem was watching TV after dinner.There was visible change I observed from earlier weekends. Kavita didn’t instruct me anything. There were no wistful movement to humiliate me either. Was it a forecast of a disaster? Was the present calmness indication of a greater turmoil of my life? If my conclusion on belly ring pendant was correct, then yes, it was indicative of the end of my life. Both the ladies retired to bedroom soon after Kavita shifted the leftover to refrigerator. Prem for the first time did not take his bitches to his bed. I had a strange feeling that my wife’s eyes were following me. I ignored and silently moved to my room. I closed the bedroom door securely.
It’s enough, I thought. “My tears, my emotions have no value to her. She alone can’t be blamed for present situation. Before becoming my wife, she is a woman. And I failed in every aspect to honour her womanhood. I could not fulfil her basic needs. She may be right in her rights of devouring womanhood. She could have achieved it in straight forward manner. At least, I could expect some humanity. I could have been spared form humiliation. She could have allowed me a graceful exit. She may have realised that, I do not deserve it also.”
“Do I?” I asked myself.
“It’s of no use to blame anybody. The mess created by me has to be cleaned by myself. Nobody forced me into my silent suffering. Kavita definitely did not. Prem, yes, he bullied me, physically assaulted me, and psychologically pressurized me into slavery. Again, he was invited by Kavita. Without her active encouragement and persuasion, Prem could not behave so adamantly with me. He was only a co-conspirator; an accomplice of the greater planning conceived and perfected none other than my beloved wife. Whom should I fight against my present situation and how? Definitely, I lack the physical strength and I should not try for external help after tolerating so much. What options are left for me after her pronouncement of getting pregnant by her lover?” I failed to resolvemy reactions. Desperation started growing inside me.
Always, always she had given me her false promise of not leaving me. My memory traversed to the past incidents following Prem’s arrival.
***
I was forced to apologize to Prem for no fault of mine. I initiated confrontation on her sleeping with Prem. Kavita walked out of bedroom to sleep on sofa. During my persuasion to her for returning, Prem manhandled me in front of her eyes. Later she had sex with Prem that night. She exhibited a gallant show of her youthfulness dressing in obscene outfits. As a reward, I was made to wash clothes, prepare dinner and apologize. Seeing my plight, she was jovial, "I was proud of you Manu. It takes a REAL MAN to say sorry when he knows he is wrong."
She made mockery of me. I considered her mockery as real. I got pampered.
I looked at her, but failed to detect sarcasm in her expression. Just the radiant, beaming smile deceived me. I embraced her and said, "I love you, Kavi. I don't want to lose you."
She held me tight and said, "Don't be silly, why would you lose me?"
The very next day, Prem injured my hand. On the way to hospital, Prem offered to vacate. She ignored Prem’s proposal. She wanted Prem to stay. She manipulated me to hide the truth. She fabricated an imaginary story of my fall in bathroom. Back home, first she put me in dread narrating the story of Vipul. At the same time, she articulated perfectly keeping my hope alive.She assured me of her intention of not leaving me.
She looked at me and said, "I know you've had performance issues in bed too, Manu. But please don't put yourself in a situation like Vipul, OK? It's different for us now, we've been married 4 years, it's not like I'll leave you just because you have performance issues. “She did not leave me for my performance issues. My performance issues had no impact in her life. She had perfectly found out alternative to circumvent my performance issues.
Performance issues! She was in spree to make up all losses due my performance issues of last four years. Nothing deterred her to achieve her goals. My partial immobilization due to cast, my agonising wait outside the closed door, getting exposed to the neighbours on illicit relationship and defamation in the society, my physical torture by her lover, nothing mattered to her except her carnal pleasure. She engaged in satisfying her physical needs each and every day, as if there was no tomorrow.
Yet, she was in all tears on the day of my cast removal. She had driven our car to pick me up, a small bait to divert my attention from imminent catastrophe. She had already planned for something big. She wanted to boost my energy level to withstand the tremor, because she never planned to leave me. She had a much bigger plan in her mind. She was playing safely with my mind for perfectly utilising my resources in later stage.
On that day, she said, “I don't know, Manu. You've been avoiding me, and now you're avoiding my phone calls." She showered her concerns for me. I only misinterpreted it as genuine. She had already planned for shifting to Prem’s bedroom. She sacrificed her invaluable tear drops to energize me, defuse my mind.
***
Yes, she left me for her boyfriend; she shifted to Prem’s bedroom the very next day. She was waiting for my cast to be removed. She slept with her boyfriend right in front of my eyes. She did not even close the door. She wanted me see. She wanted me to observe her carnal pleasure. She wanted me to understand my limitations. She challenged my authority over her. She created an environment to prove my smallness. She proved my inadequacy. She proved that her boyfriend deserved her more in all respect. She felt more attached to her boyfriend over me. She questioned on my love and attachment. After four years of marriage, she doubted over my love, my love and attachment. I was given the task to prove my attachment, the attachment she had never realised.
I should have left that day itself. I didn’t. I kept on dragging behind her like a rollicking 3rd wheel. I was not a man enough to take a decision of my own. Shamelessly I helped her in shifting her luggage. She made me her slave on that day itself. I only failed to interpret.
Yet before shifting to Prem’s room, she asked, “Do you hate me now, Manu?" She was mocking our marital vow. She was mocking my predicament. I was a coward. I could not hate her.
“Do I hate her now?” I knew very well I did not. I could not hate her. In spite of her all debacles, still I loved her.
On that day, In reply, I spat back, "You sleep with another man, Kavi. A man who bullies me all the time, and enjoys humiliating me. You join him and rub it in my face. And you're accusing me of hating you?"
She then asked, "So do you think I hate you, Manu?"
I stared at her again."I don't know if you hate me, Kavi. But I know you despise me. You have no respect for me. And I don't think you love me."
She said, “So you think I've been living with you all these years, without loving you?"
On that day I replied, "I don't know, Kavi. It seems like you've never loved me.” She mesmerised me with her charms. She trapped me in her skilful act & presentation. She encapsulated on my despair to ignite my hope. She never allowed dying down my hopes. She always kept my hope alive against my despair. She always pretended her love to keep my hope alive.
On this day, I knew for sure, she did not love me, never. She manipulated my feelings to shift to her boyfriend. She wanted to spend her full time with her boyfriend.
***
Before her shifting to her boyfriend permanently, I asked, "Do you want me to leave, then, Kavi?"
She scoffed, "Of course not, you silly!" and she moved.
She was right. She did not want me to leave. She never wanted me to leave. She needed me. She needed a slave to fulfil her fantasy. She converted me into a slave for her boyfriend and herself.
She told, "Things are not necessarily what they look like."
In clear distinct voice she informed that, love and care she was showering to me were not real. I could not blame her for her pretention of veiled love. I could not accuse her of cheating me. She warned me in advance of her intention. She cautioned me about her obscure love and care. It took time for fools like me to understand the inner meaning. I was late to interpret. I thanked God for not being too late.
***
Just three weeks back, while playing with my penis, she asked me gently, "Manu, do you not want me anymore?"
On that day, she shifted to my room for the weekend to give privacy to her lover and Gowri. It was an arrangement she made to please her lover. She did not waste her time to boost my hope. She had planned every move in advance.She was showing phoney concern.I turned away, not answering her question.
Kavita asked again, "Do you think of me as unclean, Manu? Too dirty for you?"
She continued fondling my penis. Encouraged, I said, "OK, Kavi...let's do it."
I started reaching under her nightie, and tried to put my hand between her thighs.
At this, Kavita stopped me with her hand and asked, "Manu darling, what ARE you doing?"
"Kavi...I was trying to do what I normally do...to turn you on before..."
She whispered, "Sorry, Manu. I didn't mean to mislead you. That was not what I had in mind."
I was puzzled. I asked, "What do you mean, Kavi?"
She gently took my hand away from where it was, under her nightie, between her thighs.
I asked again, imploringly, "What does that mean, Kavi? Are we not going to do it? Did you not want to do it with me?"
She replied with a sweet smile, but with a cutting air of finality, "Sorry, Manu. Out of bounds."
She was out of bound for me. Her pussy was 'out of bounds' for me. I expressed doubt on Prem’s instruction not allowing me to penetrate her. She declined. She accepted that, she was acting on her own accord and not influenced under Prem’s instruction. She made it very clear that, her pussy was no longer available for my noodle. No longer, she considered me as her husband. She declined the basic prudent right of maritalrelationship. I meekly accepted the humiliation. Shamelessly I allowed her to fellate me. She successfully put my hope alive with little enticement. She needed a sissy slave for her enjoyment. I was meant for filling the post. She encouraged me in sissy dressing. She was growing a sissy cuckold to fulfil her fantasy. She was training her slave. I failed to understand her ultimate motive.
I surrendered to her, "YOU, Kavi. I don't understand you at all. I don't think I know you at all."
She was happy on my submission. My master’s mistress was happy on my submission.
She smirked "Good! Am glad you finally trust me, and believe what I say, Manu. Now I can sleep in peace!"
***
And she had shown her true colours within 48 hours. She enjoyed my humiliating physical torture in the hand of her lover boyfriend. To rub salt, as if in encouragement, she engaged in immediate sex with him. She did not find it enough for my humiliation. She was cross checking the effectiveness of her plan. She showed her sly sympathy to join me in bed that night. She had her smiley confession; she enjoyed my torture. She clearly had shown me my place. But she needed to live up my hopes for not committing nuisance. She reaffirmed her obscured love. In teary eyes she expressed, “you might hurt yourself directly, or you might hurt yourself by trying to hurt Prem."
I did ignore her phony tears. Still I assured her, "Kavi...I won't do anything to hurt myself. You ought to know that about me, by now."
She was happy. She was happy knowing that I would not complicate her life by committing nuisance.
That night, I reconsidered all possible corrective steps to come out of the deleterious relationship. I did not act in positive. I was a shameless creature.
Next weekend, she made me serve coffee in her bed while displaying her nude body with her lover as a testimony of her playful nights, full of enjoyment. She made me play the role of housemaid during her weekend’s outings with her lover. She projected me as a cuckold. Again, I failed to appreciate her real motive. I was shameless. I behaved like a pathetic sissy slave. I submitted to her sadist perverse mentality. What did I learn?
I did not learn my lesson. I was a wimp. I begged for her mercy. I begged for my righteous rites. I begged for Prem’s vacation from my house, from our house. I begged for my love & attachment, "Please, Kavi. How long do you want me to show you it's true?"
She was very happy at my performance. She was all praise of me. She profusely appreciated her slave husband. "Well, you have listened to me since Monday this week. So if we count this week, then let's say, two more weeks?"
She accused me of lacking attachment. She enjoyed more attachment from her boyfriend. "You never really had any kind of attachment over me." She told me
She had declared, "My boyfriend is much more attached to me, Manu. So I'll need the two weeks to convince him that it's OK to move back in with you. Alright?"
I did not wake up.
Once she told, "Had I been married to Prem, and you had tried to seduce me, Prem wouldn't have stayed quiet this long. He would have broken your arm or worse, long back: because that's how a man who has attachment to his wife normally behaves." I was not a man. She never considered me as a man. Love had no real value in life. It was a buzz word to placate a mind. Ultimately, it is the brutal force which matters most.
She confided again of her attachment to her lover over me. She was clear in her intention. Yes, she accused me not having attachment to her. Did she ever have any attachment with me? I never asked her. I would never ask her. Attachment was not meant for proving. It was a feeling. It was a very personal affair to be cherished. If you feel and accept, it was there. If you don’t feel, it was not there. It should have been a wake-up call to end my trance. Instead, shamelessly, I wanted her to promise on ‘two weeks’ timeframe. Let her continue denying my attachment, if she was comfortable over it. I wanted her back at any cost. I continued my begging.
She categorically denied, "I can't promise, Manu. You have behaved admirably, this week. But I need you to continue to behave as you did, if you want to convince me that you're telling me the truth. Plus, I can't control my boyfriend, as you know, he's much more possessive over me. And there are other concerns as well."
"Like what, Kavi?"
She smiled as she spoke with an air of finality, "Oh, that's stuff between me and my boyfriend, Manu. Not your concern."
It’s now clear. She was concerned on her motherhood. She was concerned on her pregnancy by her lover. I had no role to play!
I decided against torturing myself further.
Soon I slept after taking a sleeping pill.
Manu
She saw me grazing at her naval. She blushed and hurriedly shifted her sari to cover her belly. Did she blush? I was not sure. I did not have another chance to inspect the belly ring mainly due to her conscious efforts to cover it and the angle she was maintaining from my look. Was it an unintended display for me? It looked pretty logical. She was covered in a full body nightie when I arrived from office. She changed into sari exposing her naval only after ensuring arrival of her guests, her lover and his fiancé. Presently, they were discussing about agonising increased traffic in Bangalore. Obviously, I was a non-participating audience. I sensed Gowri was glancing at me. She averted her look immediately on my recognition. It was a mystic look I had observed from the day she had started visiting our house. She appeared to be resisting herself to inform me something. Kavita was facing Gowri standing in front of me. I could not see her facial reactions.
Surprisingly, I was not asked to wash the tea cups after tea was over. There was a radical change in her behaviour from previous weekends. Kavita collected the cups and went to kitchen wash basin. Gowri followed her. They had some very low voice discussion while Kavita washed the cups & saucers. Prem was silently observing my eye movement, I suppose. He stealthy approached me from behind, chuckled, “Again looking at my bitches Pussy Boy!”
I jumped on reflex. We were not in speaking terms. Better to say, I avoided conversing to both of them except on urgent requirements. Even, I had stopped communicating with Kavita in the house from my side. Last I had spoken to her two weeks ago when Prem was out to drop Gowri after her second visit. It’s not that I did not find her alone. Mostly, Prem was late to reach home since Kavita shifted to his room. I did never felt that enthusiasm to speak to her in privacy. I had very little to discuss with her in privacy. We did not require any privacy. I preferred to talk to her on phone on urgent requirements. She did speak to me over weekends mostly to pass on instructions. The same was with Prem also. Last time he addressed me during our travel while I was giving him lift on Kavita’s request. That time he bullied me with Kavita’s pregnancy, her babies. I was scared. Since then we did not speak, not even on the very next day, I had given him lift to his office.
After cleaning, the two ladies walked towards Prem’s bedroom. Prem was following them. Kavita turned and stopped Prem in the middle. ”Prem, you better stay here. We girls wish not to be disturbed for some time.”
Gowri added,” And you are brining dinner for us. Contact me from restaurant for finalising menu. Don’t disturb Manu.”
Both fixed their look on my face simultaneously, smiled difficult to interpret, again looked at themselves and turned around to enter Prem’s bedroom.
Prem frowned disapprovingly at me with a filthy look. He had no option to send me out. He looked at me filthily again before leaving.
I found it an opportunity to introspect. “What I wanted to prove in last two and half months since Prem’s arrival and more than that, what am I going to do in the present changed scenario?”
I took time to clean the kitchen area & rest of the utensils and fixed plates on the dining table before retiring to my bedroom.
My mind embroiled on what I had just observed. I could not believe my eyes. She was flaunting her belly rings engraved with A.A. The only hope I had in my mind wiped out. She appeared not to adhere to her promise of two weeks. Truly speaking, she did not promise. She had other concerns with her boyfriend as well. In the morning, she was clearly unhappy on my call. She got irritated on my impatience. Only hope she had given that Prem had agreed to Sunday. The optimism I generated vanished completely. She was possessed by Prem. Kavita, my wife presently belonged to Prem. She had openly accepted her total submission to her boyfriend.
She had planned it meticulously. I should have guessed it in the morning itself, when I had phoned her. She told, “Prem had agreed for Sunday.”
I presumed, “Prem had agreed to leave on Sunday.”
I was wrong. Prem had agreed for Sunday to play a greater role in her life. She had played well with my mind. She was scheming something behind my foolishness all the time while she blamed me for that. She told, bitterly, "Who knows? You might be scheming something."
Background noises clearly suggested for her occupation in parlour for the gallant show. Clearly, she was disturbed on my call. Before shifting with her boyfriend, she said in a sarcastic manner, with intone,"That I am not surprised by. You are evidently slow not merely in bed." She was right in her analysis; “my brain is also rusted similar to my physical performance. “
I remembered when I returned from office a few hours ago, she was in deep thought. “She must have been evaluating various situations to make me informed on her decisions and follow up reactions. Finally, she has decided to reveal the truth in presence of Prem & Gowri, so that they can also enjoy my ultimate humiliation.”
I observed, she did not have the beaming smile I have been used to see in recent past. As if the smile was forced. Did she want to convey me that she was not happy to be possessed by Prem but my inadequacy had forced her to take this extreme decision? How can it be? There’s nothing to be proved fresh on this matter. "You cannot be Prem, and Prem cannot be you. There is no point in your trying to compete with him where you KNOW you can't compete with him." Kavita told earlier, I remembered. My inadequacy in bed was well proved. She knew it, I knew it. So, there must be something different. Belly ring may be indicative to something else beyond possession of my wife. Twice Prem placed tattoo on her body with A.A inscribed as a mark of his ownership. He already possessed her body in all respect. She was sharing his bed all nights. She was spending all of her time with him. Then why she adorned her body with the belly ring pendant freshly? That also when Prem was deemed to leave?
Then it stuck in my mind. Last, time when I was giving Prem lift in my car, Prem intimidated me, "You've already been trained much better by your pretty wife, P.B. And you needed it; you needed to be mentally trained so you can raise your pretty wife's babies."
“Does the belly ring pendant have significance to this? Belly, the womb belongs to Prem. She is permitting Prem to impregnate her. Is this what she meant by her word ‘Prem has agreed for Sunday’? Maybe she is already pregnant. May be, she has stopped taking birth control pills and manipulating systematically to divert my attention. Maybe, she is planning for a grand party on Sunday, who knows? My wife has planned everything meticulously in all earlier incidents to make me fool. Prem was correct. I was being trained to accept her illegitimate children with Prem. She never loved me. She never wanted Prem to leave. My role is to support her financially and provide social respect to her and her children. Her children fathered by Prem!” I felt a compelling urge to check the medicine box again. I wanted confirmation on her decision. I decided to wait for right opportunity.
I wiped my eyes silently.
When Kavita knocked my door for dinner, I had resolved not to express my internal turmoil to expose. It surprised me seeing her in a most conservative shalwar Kameez suit. She had changed her dress again. So, it was confirmed, she did not want me a show off of her belly ring presently. The untoward mistake had been corrected amicably. It was meant to be appreciated by her lover, father of her future baby. It appeared the celebration was not planned for tonight. I got a relief from immediate humiliation. If her purpose of flaunting belly ring was to keep me in my place, her purpose had been fulfilled.
I maintained a stoic appearance in dining table. I was hungry but not feeling like eating. I continued playing with food of my plate making a show. I could not leave dining table abruptly inviting unwarranted attention. Prem was making silly jokes to keep both ladies involved. Gowri occasionally joined not appeared to be enthusiastic. My third sense cautioned me. Kavita was observing me silently. Normally they ignored my presence in dining table as had observed in previous weeks. I concentrated more on my actions generating an impression of keenly occupied in eating. She was weighing my reactions, I presumed. “I am not giving you any chance to read my mind any more my darling wife”, I cautioned myself. Presently Kavita got up collecting her plate. Did she understand my plight? Did she read my mind? Gowri followed her suit making it easy for me.
I collected the remaining plates to clean. Gowri offered help, which I politely denied, “You are our guest. I cannot allow you.”Gowri was showering more respect: I became more cautious. She appeared offended by her look before silently moving to drawing room. Kavita continued gazing at me from the threshold of kitchen. Most probably she was inspecting my cleaning quality. Mistress of my master was supervising the slave of the house. "Manu, please wash them thoroughly if you are going to offer to wash them. I don't like to put on clothes dirty after washing, or clothes with soap stains." She didn’t tell me presently. I remembered her earlier comments after inspecting the clothes I had washed. I was afraid she will call Gowri & Prem before declaring, “Manu, please clean the dishes properly. I can’t serve food to my lover in unhygienic plates.” I concentrated on cleaning not desiring to be humiliated on pretty issues in presence of Gowri.
Prem was watching TV after dinner.There was visible change I observed from earlier weekends. Kavita didn’t instruct me anything. There were no wistful movement to humiliate me either. Was it a forecast of a disaster? Was the present calmness indication of a greater turmoil of my life? If my conclusion on belly ring pendant was correct, then yes, it was indicative of the end of my life. Both the ladies retired to bedroom soon after Kavita shifted the leftover to refrigerator. Prem for the first time did not take his bitches to his bed. I had a strange feeling that my wife’s eyes were following me. I ignored and silently moved to my room. I closed the bedroom door securely.
It’s enough, I thought. “My tears, my emotions have no value to her. She alone can’t be blamed for present situation. Before becoming my wife, she is a woman. And I failed in every aspect to honour her womanhood. I could not fulfil her basic needs. She may be right in her rights of devouring womanhood. She could have achieved it in straight forward manner. At least, I could expect some humanity. I could have been spared form humiliation. She could have allowed me a graceful exit. She may have realised that, I do not deserve it also.”
“Do I?” I asked myself.
“It’s of no use to blame anybody. The mess created by me has to be cleaned by myself. Nobody forced me into my silent suffering. Kavita definitely did not. Prem, yes, he bullied me, physically assaulted me, and psychologically pressurized me into slavery. Again, he was invited by Kavita. Without her active encouragement and persuasion, Prem could not behave so adamantly with me. He was only a co-conspirator; an accomplice of the greater planning conceived and perfected none other than my beloved wife. Whom should I fight against my present situation and how? Definitely, I lack the physical strength and I should not try for external help after tolerating so much. What options are left for me after her pronouncement of getting pregnant by her lover?” I failed to resolvemy reactions. Desperation started growing inside me.
Always, always she had given me her false promise of not leaving me. My memory traversed to the past incidents following Prem’s arrival.
***
I was forced to apologize to Prem for no fault of mine. I initiated confrontation on her sleeping with Prem. Kavita walked out of bedroom to sleep on sofa. During my persuasion to her for returning, Prem manhandled me in front of her eyes. Later she had sex with Prem that night. She exhibited a gallant show of her youthfulness dressing in obscene outfits. As a reward, I was made to wash clothes, prepare dinner and apologize. Seeing my plight, she was jovial, "I was proud of you Manu. It takes a REAL MAN to say sorry when he knows he is wrong."
She made mockery of me. I considered her mockery as real. I got pampered.
I looked at her, but failed to detect sarcasm in her expression. Just the radiant, beaming smile deceived me. I embraced her and said, "I love you, Kavi. I don't want to lose you."
She held me tight and said, "Don't be silly, why would you lose me?"
The very next day, Prem injured my hand. On the way to hospital, Prem offered to vacate. She ignored Prem’s proposal. She wanted Prem to stay. She manipulated me to hide the truth. She fabricated an imaginary story of my fall in bathroom. Back home, first she put me in dread narrating the story of Vipul. At the same time, she articulated perfectly keeping my hope alive.She assured me of her intention of not leaving me.
She looked at me and said, "I know you've had performance issues in bed too, Manu. But please don't put yourself in a situation like Vipul, OK? It's different for us now, we've been married 4 years, it's not like I'll leave you just because you have performance issues. “She did not leave me for my performance issues. My performance issues had no impact in her life. She had perfectly found out alternative to circumvent my performance issues.
Performance issues! She was in spree to make up all losses due my performance issues of last four years. Nothing deterred her to achieve her goals. My partial immobilization due to cast, my agonising wait outside the closed door, getting exposed to the neighbours on illicit relationship and defamation in the society, my physical torture by her lover, nothing mattered to her except her carnal pleasure. She engaged in satisfying her physical needs each and every day, as if there was no tomorrow.
Yet, she was in all tears on the day of my cast removal. She had driven our car to pick me up, a small bait to divert my attention from imminent catastrophe. She had already planned for something big. She wanted to boost my energy level to withstand the tremor, because she never planned to leave me. She had a much bigger plan in her mind. She was playing safely with my mind for perfectly utilising my resources in later stage.
On that day, she said, “I don't know, Manu. You've been avoiding me, and now you're avoiding my phone calls." She showered her concerns for me. I only misinterpreted it as genuine. She had already planned for shifting to Prem’s bedroom. She sacrificed her invaluable tear drops to energize me, defuse my mind.
***
Yes, she left me for her boyfriend; she shifted to Prem’s bedroom the very next day. She was waiting for my cast to be removed. She slept with her boyfriend right in front of my eyes. She did not even close the door. She wanted me see. She wanted me to observe her carnal pleasure. She wanted me to understand my limitations. She challenged my authority over her. She created an environment to prove my smallness. She proved my inadequacy. She proved that her boyfriend deserved her more in all respect. She felt more attached to her boyfriend over me. She questioned on my love and attachment. After four years of marriage, she doubted over my love, my love and attachment. I was given the task to prove my attachment, the attachment she had never realised.
I should have left that day itself. I didn’t. I kept on dragging behind her like a rollicking 3rd wheel. I was not a man enough to take a decision of my own. Shamelessly I helped her in shifting her luggage. She made me her slave on that day itself. I only failed to interpret.
Yet before shifting to Prem’s room, she asked, “Do you hate me now, Manu?" She was mocking our marital vow. She was mocking my predicament. I was a coward. I could not hate her.
“Do I hate her now?” I knew very well I did not. I could not hate her. In spite of her all debacles, still I loved her.
On that day, In reply, I spat back, "You sleep with another man, Kavi. A man who bullies me all the time, and enjoys humiliating me. You join him and rub it in my face. And you're accusing me of hating you?"
She then asked, "So do you think I hate you, Manu?"
I stared at her again."I don't know if you hate me, Kavi. But I know you despise me. You have no respect for me. And I don't think you love me."
She said, “So you think I've been living with you all these years, without loving you?"
On that day I replied, "I don't know, Kavi. It seems like you've never loved me.” She mesmerised me with her charms. She trapped me in her skilful act & presentation. She encapsulated on my despair to ignite my hope. She never allowed dying down my hopes. She always kept my hope alive against my despair. She always pretended her love to keep my hope alive.
On this day, I knew for sure, she did not love me, never. She manipulated my feelings to shift to her boyfriend. She wanted to spend her full time with her boyfriend.
***
Before her shifting to her boyfriend permanently, I asked, "Do you want me to leave, then, Kavi?"
She scoffed, "Of course not, you silly!" and she moved.
She was right. She did not want me to leave. She never wanted me to leave. She needed me. She needed a slave to fulfil her fantasy. She converted me into a slave for her boyfriend and herself.
She told, "Things are not necessarily what they look like."
In clear distinct voice she informed that, love and care she was showering to me were not real. I could not blame her for her pretention of veiled love. I could not accuse her of cheating me. She warned me in advance of her intention. She cautioned me about her obscure love and care. It took time for fools like me to understand the inner meaning. I was late to interpret. I thanked God for not being too late.
***
Just three weeks back, while playing with my penis, she asked me gently, "Manu, do you not want me anymore?"
On that day, she shifted to my room for the weekend to give privacy to her lover and Gowri. It was an arrangement she made to please her lover. She did not waste her time to boost my hope. She had planned every move in advance.She was showing phoney concern.I turned away, not answering her question.
Kavita asked again, "Do you think of me as unclean, Manu? Too dirty for you?"
She continued fondling my penis. Encouraged, I said, "OK, Kavi...let's do it."
I started reaching under her nightie, and tried to put my hand between her thighs.
At this, Kavita stopped me with her hand and asked, "Manu darling, what ARE you doing?"
"Kavi...I was trying to do what I normally do...to turn you on before..."
She whispered, "Sorry, Manu. I didn't mean to mislead you. That was not what I had in mind."
I was puzzled. I asked, "What do you mean, Kavi?"
She gently took my hand away from where it was, under her nightie, between her thighs.
I asked again, imploringly, "What does that mean, Kavi? Are we not going to do it? Did you not want to do it with me?"
She replied with a sweet smile, but with a cutting air of finality, "Sorry, Manu. Out of bounds."
She was out of bound for me. Her pussy was 'out of bounds' for me. I expressed doubt on Prem’s instruction not allowing me to penetrate her. She declined. She accepted that, she was acting on her own accord and not influenced under Prem’s instruction. She made it very clear that, her pussy was no longer available for my noodle. No longer, she considered me as her husband. She declined the basic prudent right of maritalrelationship. I meekly accepted the humiliation. Shamelessly I allowed her to fellate me. She successfully put my hope alive with little enticement. She needed a sissy slave for her enjoyment. I was meant for filling the post. She encouraged me in sissy dressing. She was growing a sissy cuckold to fulfil her fantasy. She was training her slave. I failed to understand her ultimate motive.
I surrendered to her, "YOU, Kavi. I don't understand you at all. I don't think I know you at all."
She was happy on my submission. My master’s mistress was happy on my submission.
She smirked "Good! Am glad you finally trust me, and believe what I say, Manu. Now I can sleep in peace!"
***
And she had shown her true colours within 48 hours. She enjoyed my humiliating physical torture in the hand of her lover boyfriend. To rub salt, as if in encouragement, she engaged in immediate sex with him. She did not find it enough for my humiliation. She was cross checking the effectiveness of her plan. She showed her sly sympathy to join me in bed that night. She had her smiley confession; she enjoyed my torture. She clearly had shown me my place. But she needed to live up my hopes for not committing nuisance. She reaffirmed her obscured love. In teary eyes she expressed, “you might hurt yourself directly, or you might hurt yourself by trying to hurt Prem."
I did ignore her phony tears. Still I assured her, "Kavi...I won't do anything to hurt myself. You ought to know that about me, by now."
She was happy. She was happy knowing that I would not complicate her life by committing nuisance.
That night, I reconsidered all possible corrective steps to come out of the deleterious relationship. I did not act in positive. I was a shameless creature.
Next weekend, she made me serve coffee in her bed while displaying her nude body with her lover as a testimony of her playful nights, full of enjoyment. She made me play the role of housemaid during her weekend’s outings with her lover. She projected me as a cuckold. Again, I failed to appreciate her real motive. I was shameless. I behaved like a pathetic sissy slave. I submitted to her sadist perverse mentality. What did I learn?
I did not learn my lesson. I was a wimp. I begged for her mercy. I begged for my righteous rites. I begged for Prem’s vacation from my house, from our house. I begged for my love & attachment, "Please, Kavi. How long do you want me to show you it's true?"
She was very happy at my performance. She was all praise of me. She profusely appreciated her slave husband. "Well, you have listened to me since Monday this week. So if we count this week, then let's say, two more weeks?"
She accused me of lacking attachment. She enjoyed more attachment from her boyfriend. "You never really had any kind of attachment over me." She told me
She had declared, "My boyfriend is much more attached to me, Manu. So I'll need the two weeks to convince him that it's OK to move back in with you. Alright?"
I did not wake up.
Once she told, "Had I been married to Prem, and you had tried to seduce me, Prem wouldn't have stayed quiet this long. He would have broken your arm or worse, long back: because that's how a man who has attachment to his wife normally behaves." I was not a man. She never considered me as a man. Love had no real value in life. It was a buzz word to placate a mind. Ultimately, it is the brutal force which matters most.
She confided again of her attachment to her lover over me. She was clear in her intention. Yes, she accused me not having attachment to her. Did she ever have any attachment with me? I never asked her. I would never ask her. Attachment was not meant for proving. It was a feeling. It was a very personal affair to be cherished. If you feel and accept, it was there. If you don’t feel, it was not there. It should have been a wake-up call to end my trance. Instead, shamelessly, I wanted her to promise on ‘two weeks’ timeframe. Let her continue denying my attachment, if she was comfortable over it. I wanted her back at any cost. I continued my begging.
She categorically denied, "I can't promise, Manu. You have behaved admirably, this week. But I need you to continue to behave as you did, if you want to convince me that you're telling me the truth. Plus, I can't control my boyfriend, as you know, he's much more possessive over me. And there are other concerns as well."
"Like what, Kavi?"
She smiled as she spoke with an air of finality, "Oh, that's stuff between me and my boyfriend, Manu. Not your concern."
It’s now clear. She was concerned on her motherhood. She was concerned on her pregnancy by her lover. I had no role to play!
I decided against torturing myself further.
Soon I slept after taking a sleeping pill.
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