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Adultery Varsha, slut of the apartments

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Adultery Varsha, slut of the apartments
Uday Offline
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#11
28-08-2020, 03:20 PM
Good start but please check for the correctness of the words being used and sentences also. It confuses the story line like "touching my dare bare skin", " constructed at hot heart of the city", "get in the left lift".

This is not to discourage you but a mere suggestion and value addition.

Keep going, good luck
    :   Namaskar thanks :ఉదయ్
[+] 1 user Likes Uday's post
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Messages In This Thread
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by bobby - 25-08-2020, 08:49 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by Mall1982 - 26-08-2020, 10:21 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by Sourabhh - 27-08-2020, 08:23 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by masochist - 27-08-2020, 09:10 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by Test07 - 28-08-2020, 12:57 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by Uday - 28-08-2020, 03:20 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by drlund - 30-08-2020, 10:57 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by bobby - 01-09-2020, 08:53 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by drlund - 02-09-2020, 08:15 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by bobby - 02-09-2020, 07:28 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by masochist - 04-09-2020, 03:53 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by Gumshot - 05-09-2020, 10:15 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by bobby - 06-09-2020, 06:06 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by bobby - 08-09-2020, 08:50 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by drlund - 10-09-2020, 07:24 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by ronylol - 10-09-2020, 05:15 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by bobby - 13-09-2020, 03:51 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by ronylol - 14-09-2020, 01:47 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by masochist - 16-09-2020, 12:55 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by ronylol - 16-09-2020, 01:04 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by preethi15 - 17-09-2020, 01:31 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by ronylol - 18-09-2020, 12:43 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by bobby - 19-09-2020, 08:35 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by masochist - 20-09-2020, 01:27 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by ronylol - 20-09-2020, 01:09 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by ronylol - 20-09-2020, 01:29 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by drlund - 20-09-2020, 04:26 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by bobby - 20-09-2020, 05:37 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by drlund - 21-09-2020, 12:44 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by drlund - 22-09-2020, 10:08 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by ronylol - 24-09-2020, 12:32 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by bobby - 25-09-2020, 10:40 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by ronylol - 25-09-2020, 12:39 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by ronylol - 28-09-2020, 08:29 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by ronylol - 10-04-2021, 11:59 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by drlund - 30-09-2020, 02:02 AM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by Kalyan143 - 14-02-2021, 03:34 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by ronylol - 14-02-2021, 03:45 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by Kalyan143 - 20-09-2021, 11:47 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by Blue Bull - 22-11-2021, 11:23 PM
RE: Varsha, slut of the apartments - by peter171 - 25-11-2021, 04:39 PM



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