Non-erotic Bonds of Love by sfraza

[pastispresent]

Chapter 4

Neeta was full of anxiety. She checked her bags and suitcases again. Everything was in order. All the documents were in there. She sat alone in her room listening to the boisterous sounds; her children were making outside. Anjali and Rohit were playing a game of Tag. Aditya was chatting with his parents. The world had not come crashing for her children as she had believed when they heard about her plans. They were excited about the upcoming grand USA vacation, and it seemed to them their mother was only going to a foreign country in preparation for that trip.

The whole world appeared to be conspiring to send her off. What she once thought was unfathomable had now become a reality. This feeling of indispensability was strange to her. Neeta was under the impression her house could not function without her a single day, but now it seemed like it never needed her. Was she supposed to grudge this independence or just enjoy it?

Her mother in law came in and sat on the bed.

“Now don’t you worry about anything, everything will be just fine,” she said sweetly. She was always gracious to Neeta; some motherly instinct told her that her son was in love with this woman. And she being a loving mother wanted this woman to be happy so that her son could be too.

“Yes, mummy,” Neeta was too emotional to let her ego stop her. ” I am worried about Anjali, she is at such a tender age and Rohit always gets injured you know” It seemed to her she was almost pleading with this lady to take proper care of her children while she was away.

Laxmi felt relieved. There was still a mother in her, no matter how cold, distant and selfish she seemed at times. “Don’t you worry, it will be ok. Anju is such a good girl and Rohit is also growing up.”

Neeta was not convinced. She felt that her Hansel and Gretel were going to be as lost in the black forest as they could be.

“You just try to come back early” Laxmi reasoned to her. What was done was done. According to her, it was stupid of her son to let his wife go and live alone for six months. But who was she to suggest this? It was enough that her son and his wife were kind to her. She was not the one to impose.

Neeta was almost crying when she hugged her kids and her hubby at the entrance of the airport. Only Anjali seemed a little affected, Rohit was just taking in the sights and sounds. Aditya was frustratingly calm and collected as always. The neon lights of the terminal along with the hustle bustle of the airport stood in stark contrast to the emptiness of the night beyond them in this urban landscape. It seemed to enforce that life was dull and dark and empty except what the people made of it. Sometimes they made it so busy that there was hardly any time for anything. Some made it depressing and sad, some joyous and calm. Why had Neeta made it so difficult that she had to banish herself away from her family to find herself, Aditya thought. It was a good thing he told himself a hundred times again as they hugged and parted with each other.

However, Neeta found her mood considerably lifting once she saw Kabir, who was to accompany her on this trip. He seemed cocky as usual and was a good friend. Light, kind hearted with a tongue in cheek humor; he was disinterested enough to let her not feel anything about him and still feel companionable enough. He teased her of finally leaving her husband, and she bantered with him on how his wife could permit him to go to the USA when he could not step out of the house without permission.

Sometime later as they waited in the terminal for the unending immigration process to be over, he got engrossed in his laptop on Facebook and personal emails. And Neeta focused her attention back on the terminal. Ideally, she thought should call back on Aditya to inquire if they reached back home but for the first time in many years, she felt free, truly free of motherly duties and the wifely ones. She suddenly felt invincible. She could talk to anyone behave in any way. No responsibilities no duties, no business of living a life she was not entirely happy with.

The aroma of hot coffee wafted in the air, and she loitered towards the café for a drink. It was one of those hugely expensive shops overpriced for international customers. Not a single 'desi' was to be found here. She ordered a cappuccino for Rupees 250, five times of what you can get outside in a similar shop and sat sipping it. It was an act of rebellion, against years of being miserly, counting money managing the household budget. She was the queen of her own kingdom. The flight was cold dark and lonely, but as the airplane flew over the Singapore airspace and the various boats and yachts came into view against the infinite blue ocean, Neeta felt she was a phoenix rising from the ashes to see the brave new world that awaited her.

Aditya retired to his room early. Now that all the excitement associated with the departure was over the house suddenly seemed silent and empty. Anjali had curled up with a book in one corner. Rohit seemed downcast and was supposedly doing homework on his study table. His mother managed to clear the dining table without a single clatter. Aditya had tried to lighten up the somber mood by getting some ice cream, but even that was eaten in silence. Aditya knew the children will bounce back in one two days, but he felt a desperate void which was disturbing. Six months they seemed like an eternity, he was used to Neeta, her laughter, her soft eyes wrinkling at the edges now. She was the only one who could guess something was wrong with him when things went badly in the office. The only one who could tell that if he was feeling tired or busy or fed up.

Was it his fault all this mess? He went over their main quarrels in the past 15 years, the contentious issues, her main grudges, the complaints she made, the accusations he made and all of them seemed trivial, nonsensical. He wanted his wife back by his side where she belonged. He could not connect with his kids or his family otherwise. He felt stranded. For years, he had considered himself blessed on having an agreeable wife malleable and docile. Neeta had been so ideal for so many years it had been a rude shock to discover that all was not perfect. Something had snapped somewhere inside her two years back, and things just spiraled down from there. First, she grudged his choices, then outright rebelled against them. Then she took small joys in taunting him and his family. The children were the next target, she being alternatively rude to them or negligent. No, they were no longer perfect happy little family and he could not hold up the pretense any longer.