Non-erotic Bonds of Love by sfraza

[pastispresent]

Chapter 1

Neeta rigorously rubbed the dark stains and spots on the floor. Her calloused palms scbangd against the sticky grime of the granite stone. She cleaned in the old-fashioned way using a rough tattered cloth until her elbows hurt and her mind shut out all sights except the polish of the granite slab below her.

Neeta took on the daily tasks of dusting and mopping more frequently now, purposefully excusing her housemaid. She found that physical strain strangely soothed her soul. Later in the day, she would drain her fatigue under the cold droplets of the shower, her muscles tingling with the sharp sensation. The whole ritual had a cathartic effect on her, not to mention that it helped her escape the demons in her mind.

Today was Sunday and already the kids had started fighting. She could hear them arguing just outside her bathroom door. She could hear them squabbling over sharing their room

“Mom, tell Rohit to go out of my room”

“I am not going anywhere”

There was sound of a slap and an Owwww

“Mom, she hit me”

“Neeta, they are fighting, come out” an elderly voice called out to her.

Neeta sighed, it was her mother in law, she wished that the older woman would just exercise her right as a grandmother and scold the kids into submission. But Laxmi, Aditya’s mom had strong ideas on parenting and responsibility. She would rather be righteous, non-interfering elder of the family than be useful. The shower was as good as over. Neeta threw over her kurta and wrapped the towel underneath and hesitated just a second before opening the door.

In front of her stood two of the world’s most beautiful children and if hearts could melt, hers would have done long ago.

Anjali and Rohit started clambering for her attention at the same time. Over their babble Neeta was dimly aware that she needed to shut her bedroom door and get dressed properly. But Rohith was holding on to her for dear life and Anjali was pushing him. Rohith was retaliating equally kicking her with his leg. Neeta hung on to her towel at the same screaming Stop it, stop it while dragging them both out of the room. It cut quite a comical picture of the three of them but Neeta caught a disdainful look on her mother in laws face in the kitchen and an irrational anger built up inside her. She pulled on the last of her strengths, literally threw them both out with a force which made them fell on the floor and slammed the bedroom door shut. There was sound of wailing outside her door, maybe Anjali was hurt or thought that she was hurt.

Neeta did not open the door but folded her arms and hugged herself tight letting the tide of fury wash out of her. She was sick of her mother in law disapproving manner and her children’s endless demands, brazen selfishness and bad manners bordering on rowdiness. She wished for one small moment, one tiniest of a moment when she did not have to be a mother. And most of all she hated her husband.

Bile rose up her chest as she thought of her husband. Her breaths came in heavy and irregular, and rage trembled her fingertips. She angrily shook her wet hair around to rid herself of the evil thoughts that enveloped her. Neeta had been having anxiety attacks now, but she had hidden it from her family and the first time it occurred made her extremely fearful of her own mental state. So, she tried to be her own therapist and control negativity around her. She no longer snapped at her in-laws every now or then or passed poison-laced icy barbs at her husband, instead she immersed herself in work and unnecessary activities. But her desperation stayed so did the obsessive cleaning and the anger. She wondered how much longer she could hold her precariously fragile peace together.

Outside the clamor had increased. Neeta pulled on some clothes and rushed out. Her two children started speaking at once.

“Mom you hurt me”, Anjali had tears in her eyes.

“Mom, Di is always throwing me out the room. Where will I go”, Rohit had an unenviable tendency to be on point just like his father.

The apartment was not so small when they had bought it almost ten years back. But now with two children and parents, they were all cramped up and always in each other’s way. Rohit shared his room with his elder sister. They both were always fighting for space. Anjali wanted to spend time with her girlfriends this noon and there was no place for her younger brother and his video games.

"He never goes anywhere never", Anjali bawled out. Her large brown eyes were melting and threatening to overflow with tears. Not a behavior suitable for a twelve-year-old, Neeta observed with displeasure.

Rohit responded rationally with a straight face, "I do go to college."

The imp. Neeta laughed to herself. Such humor never worked with girls but when will the guys ever learn. Besides Rohith was only nine.

Anjali kicked at him again and he punched her back. Neeta physically pulled them back she had enough of these brawls.

"You stay in my room and play your games. I am going out. When your father comes, you can trouble him."

"Anjali you can use the room". Neeta realized as she made her decision that her elder daughter mostly got her way these days.

It was useless to expect any gratitude from her, Anjali made a face at her younger brother on a point scored, stomped out and shut the door of her room with a loud bang.

Rohit thankfully had little sensitivity in him. "When will you be gone," he asked her a bit hopefully.

"Immediately," Neeta replied.

Laxmi was incredulous. Lunch wasn't cooked, the house was still a mess, soon the friends that Anjali had brought would start clamoring for snacks yet her daughter in law had decided to go out.

She was working in the kitchen in her trademark cotton crisp Sadee. Her hair coifed up in a bun, not a strand out of place. The aroma of spices and oil permeated the kitchen, whatever was cooking smelled delicious. She was a far better cook than Neeta and much more efficient in keeping the house tidier and in order. Neeta was painfully aware of her ineptitude at housekeeping, so she never quit her job even when her children were small. Being a working lady ensured she was forgiven many of her failings.

“Ok. I will inform Aditya,” Laxmi told her. She did think why Neeta could not call her husband herself, but she only let eyes show her disapproval, not preferring to intrude. She was aware that her daughter in law was not happy and was secretly concerned that it maybe because of them living with their son. The world Laxmi was bought up in did not have any other explanation for her bahu grief despite of their son assurances that it was not so.

Laxmi, however, unnecessarily worried, Neeta had never resented her in-laws staying with them. It was simply so convenient to have someone at the house to monitor the children and help with household chores that the side effects of this arrangement hardly ever matter. Besides, It provided her little bit of the independence she so craved for.

Neeta ignored the look on her mother in law’s face, fetched her purse and car keys and headed out and wondered where she could go. As years had progressed, the number of friends Neeta had reduced. She did have some contemporaries in which she could confide in. But none of them were similarly afflicted by the crisis Neeta faced. Few could understand the turmoil she was going through; fewer could take the time out to help her. Besides Neeta was in no mood to talk. She veered her car out of her apartment complex, still undecided where to go.

It was a hot suffocating afternoon. The roads were choc a bloc with traffic. Sweat formed on Neeta's brow and lips, her linen shirt itching her back where it pressed against her seat. The air conditioning of her car had still not kicked in, and the oppressive heat made her feel giddy. The air was heavily overladen with dust and pollutants. Bangalore was too chaotic and congested to drive around. Swelling crowds thronged the mall on account of being a weekend; people would wander aimlessly, not bothering to shop, trying to pretend they were having a good time when all they did was stroll around. It would be too odd for a single person to sit and whittle away her time in a restaurant or cafe. The famous parks and gardens in the city would be packed with boisterous picnics and happy families. No one moved around alone in this god forsaken country, least of all a woman. There was no place to go.