ab tak 42 - Autobiography of the Promiscuous Male

[cheatermale]

Sanghmitra - Pushing the accelerator to overcome the Bump

After the midnight speedbreaker, I called her early morning when after her kid leaves for college around 7.30AM. I convinced her to travel with me otherwise people in the office would make some stories about us. She was not comfortable but somehow my sweet talks convinced her.

In the morning we did not exchange even a single word, it was like two strangers travelling in a bus. During the day, over IM I told the whole incident to Kannu, who was of the opinion that women do suffer from guilt pangs in initial stages, specially if Sanghmitra has never had another dick than that of her husband as she proclaims. She also chided me for being too rough with her which broke the chemistry between us at crucial juncture.

During evening ride back home, I thought of being the boss and take the bull by the horns. (The conversation herein is illustrative only)

I: I want to ask you something?
She: Hmmmm
I: Are you still feeling guilty?

She: I don't want to talk about it.
I: But you were clearly enjoying the whole thing
She: Shobhit, please, stop the car. I don't want to travel with you.
I: No, but I need clarity, because I think it was mutual, you are making me feel like a predator. I can not live like that.
She: It's not your fault, I should have not come to your place.
I: But I never forced you
She: I told you na, its not your fault. It was my mistake only. Now please stop it.

Silence

I: I need to ask you two more specific things.

She: Hmmm

I: But you have to promise to tell me the truth.

She: Hmmm

I: Mmmm, don't get me wrong, but I want to ask something which has been running in my mind
She: Hmmm

I: Yesterday, you said one thing - It's big, much bigger than Shantanu. Were you not comparing my, you know what..........

She: Shobhit, I told you it was a mistake, why are you..... and she started sobbing

I touched her arm, but she pushed my hand away. I stopped the car on the busy road on the side and she was alarmed as few passer bys and cars started peeping in the car.

She tried to open the door of the car, but I caught her, she tried to struggle, but I said, behave yourself, I will be beaten here and started the car.

She: Shobhit, please don't remind me anything, I don't want to remember anything about yesterday, it was the biggest biggest mistake of my life. I request you with folded hands, please don't mention it again.
I: I am sorry, no one will know about it. But, you know, I want clarity for myself.

Her sobbing stopped and we reached her apartment building in silence. She opened the door and started walking, when I called her back and said, "Aaj chai nahi pilaogi." (You won't ask for Tea today) She looked exasperated and not knowing what to say, said, "Chai ka kya hai, pee lo" (Whats the big deal about Tea, come over)

Once again I spent some good 30 minutes playing with her child. And I left after having tea.

At night around 9.30PM or so while I was enjoying my drink, I sent an SMS to her, "Awake" Within 2 minutes reply came "Yes"

I called her number and asked whether her child had slept, she confirmed she has. I told her that I wanted to talk to her. She agreed. I said, two questions I wanted straight answers and unless I get them I will keep on pestering her but two answers and I will be satisfied.

She: Shobhit No, please

I: But I want to know.

She: No

I: Please, for my satisfaction.

Silence

I: Can I ask

She: No, please

I: But I need to know.

Silence

I: Listen, Sanghmitra, whatever we did was with mutual consent now you think it was a mistake but I think it differently, so I need to know something so I can be at peace with myself. I don't want to feel guilty, I am being so miserable that I am drinking. (A lie, because I drank almost everyday and I was trying to get her talking only)

She: Shobhit, why? Don't drink. We both should forget about yesterday. You are a good guy, don't feel bad. It was my mistake, I should have stopped you.

I: No, it is not about mistake or no mistake, I want to know two things. (I tried to sound a little drunk and repetitive because things I wanted to ask were of not much consequence)

She: Shobhit, don't be stubborn. I told you na, we should forget about it.

I: You can forget but how can I, when it was not my mistake, I am being punished.

She: No one is punishing you. We both can forget it.

I: But when there are some loose ends how can I forget it? (I was being the bad drunk guy here, who is on the verge of being drowned)

Finally she relented.

I: Tell me honestly, when you said, its bigger than Shantanu, did you like it.. you know my.....

Silence

I: Tell me.

She: It's not about liking it, Shobhit. You see, I have never been with a man other than Shantanu, so just came out of my mouth. Please. There is nothing more about it

I: I know, but did you fancy it.

She: Means what?

I: I mean did you compare it as to how would be the experience

She: Listen Shobhit, I don't know what notions you are getting, it was something that just came out of my mouth. I don't fancy anything. It was a mistake, mistake, mistake. Please forgive me. I don't want to talk about it. You can not understand that for women it is not easy like you men.

I: OK OK. OK OK. Please don't cry, you see, I am drunk, but I need to know. (I acted like more drunk)

She: Hmmm

Silence

I: Last question, bilkul last.

She: Hmmm

I: Honest reply

She: Hmmm

I: Did you satisfy yourself at night, you know fingering, You know what I mean.

SIlence

I: I know you did.

Silence

I: I know you did. You had your satisfaction and left me in between. It was not my fault, it was for your satisfaction only, you used me

She disconnected the phone saying whatever. And when I dialled again, she cut it, After two such attempts, I found her phone switched off.

And I did the unthinkable. I locked my house and proceeded to her apartment block which was just 600 meters away.