03-04-2020, 07:43 PM
Prabu walked back home, his legs moved lethargically, his mind quite numb at the turn of events. He had never felt as disheartened as he did at this moment. As he walked into his house his wife was sitting in the hall. By her attire it seemed like she had just returned home too.
Gomathi (Prabu’s wife) looked at him and asked,” You’re back so early? I thought you said you would only come back home this afternoon.
As she looked at him speculatively Prabu replied,” Yes, but my matters finished early. Looks like you went out too.”
“Only for a while to the shop nearby, just needed to buy some fruits,” she replied.
“Hm… okay I want to lie down for a while, I’m still feeling a bit tired.”
“What’s that on your cheek, it seems a bit reddish…is that a bruise? Gomathi asked getting up from the chair and coming towards him.
It must be the mark Saravanan’s hand had made when he punched me thought Prabu. “Oh it’s nothing, I didn’t look where I was going, I accidently banged my head against a post, it’s nothing.”
“No, no.. it looks slightly swollen. I’ll bring some ice,” she said in a concerned tone.
“Forget it, not necessary.” Prabu said slightly irritated.
How he was feeling now, his wife’s concerned ministrations were the last thing he wanted. He quickly walked into his room, quickly changed into a dhoti and lay down on the bed. His daughter was still sleeping beside him on the bed. He closed his eyes but for the turmoil that his mind was in, he was unlikely to doze off.
How badly he had miscalculated Meera’s behaviour on learning about the situation. He had expected her to be shocked, even a little bit shaken to realise that her husband had known about her infidelity all along. He had hoped then to convince her that her husband had actually wanted her to be happy and that is why he had given these options. When they continue their affair now with her husband’s knowing he may put in those conditions such as, their marriage henceforth would be a sham marriage for appearance sake only. He would have persuaded her that he, Prabu, would slowly convince Saravanan and he would slowly come around to accepting her again as his wife. They could then enjoy passionate sex with her husband’s blessing. Everything would be like before but now they could joyously mate without any feeling of guilt and fear of discovery.
Meera greeted him with a smiling face, but it was soon to fade from her countenance. He told about Saravanan discovery of their affair and the options he had proposed. Prabu had actually quickly told her about his own idea, hoping to plants the seeds of these thoughts in her mind before she started thinking of any other adverse options. The thing he noticed was that her face had become frozen. She didn’t react in any of the ways he had expected. The only outward indication of what she was feeling inside was the streaks of tears running down her cheeks. She seemed to gather herself and slowly started speaking. He was quite surprised at her line of questioning.
“When did he find out for the first time,” she asked.
He thought of lying to soften the blow but decided against it. In a way if she knew that he had seen them together a few times but did not take steps to stop them then she may feel in a way Saravanan could learn to accept the continuation of their affair Prabu calculated.
“He had seen us behind in the old house on the eve of Pappu’s wedding.”
A sob broke out from her throat but she managed to control it. For Meera on hearing that the first thing that crossed her mind was what she and Prabu had done there. If all her husband had seen was them kissing would not have been so bad but he would have seen Prabu press and caress her breasts and womanhood. However the worst thing would be not only how she willingly accepted his kisses but how forward she had been in caressing Prabu’s manhood.
“When was the next time?” she asked her voice breaking in sorrow.
Prabu slowly started feeling uneasy. Things were not going the way he had anticipated they would but he strangely could not lie anymore and proceeded to tell her everything.
“Saravanan had been upset by what he had seen on that day and had come back home early about two days after the wedding.”
Meera felt a chill running down her spine. That was the day she and Prabu had fornicated in her bedroom. Now things were becoming clearer. The reason her husband did not come home for lunch that day and the reason he brought his worker Marimuththu’s mother home that evening to stay with her.
“Did he see us….” She could quite say the words ‘mating’. She asked this even though she knew what the answer was.
“Yes,” was the only answer from Prabu.
Oh god, my husband had seen me and Prabu doing that horrible thing with his own eyes. God please just let me die she prayed silently. Why didn’t he stop us… he had not even spoken a harsh word to me even after seeing me betraying him, betraying his love and trust. Her hands covered her face. Prabu realised she was crying by the way her body shook.
“See Meera, he didn’t stop us.. he didn’t want you hurt. He wanted you to be happy.”
Prabu’s words had the opposite effect of what he intended. Prabu wanted to convey that her husband could learn to accept her infidelity and her happiness was of primary importance and would not stand in the way of them seeking their own happiness. Meera however realised that her husband bore all this because of the fear of what she would do to herself. If her husband had confronted them .. or even only her , she would have hung herself in shame. Saravanan knew her very well in all these years of marriage, he knew what she would have done. He had borne all this sorrow and pain stoically just for her sake, her wellbeing. That thought caused a huge pain in her heart as if it was pierced by a stake. That kind and loving man had suffered so much silently all for her. In return for all his trust, love and loyalty, she had behaved worst than a whore. She was disgusted with herself. Nothing she could ever do henceforth can make up for her ugly behaviour. Another thought struck her. So then why did everything stop suddenly. It must all be related to why Prabu left here without saying a word to her and it would have been nothing like the explanation that Prabu had given her yesterday when he met her. She was feeling shattered inside but she did not know how she was able to be still standing. The beautiful family that she had built with Saravanan had been completely destroyed by her stupidity and selfishness.
“Prabu, don’t lie to me anymore. Tell me the real reason you left suddenly without saying a word to me. Something must have happened on that day we met at the old temple hall. You did not speak or contact me after that.”
Meera needed to know what had happened even though she dreaded with all her soul about what she was going to hear. Prabu hesitated but knew there was no other way but to tell her what happened that evening.
“Saravanan had also come to that old temple hall after we had gone there. He had come there coincidently because someone had told him a piece of land close to the temple hall was coming up for sale.”
Meera’s head bowed down, tears from her eyes were now falling on the floor freely. It was mid-morning now, with the sun burning brightly outside but the hall of her house seemed to bathed in the same darkness that was grasping her heart now. It was as if she was back in the old temple with the sky, grey and gloomy from the impending thunderstorm.
“Saravana had seen us…”
No.. no…no…she shouted silently to herself. Why doesn’t the earth just swallow me up now. My poor husband…He saw all those horrible scenes…Meera cried hysterically to herself. The thoughts of all the types of things she did with Prabu that evening was killing here. No husband should ever witness his wife engage in such ugly acts with another man she lamented completely broken by those thoughts. The suffering, the humiliation of seeing his wife give herself so willingly to another man. She cried silently not being able to overcome the grief.
Prabu saw her facial muscles contorted in pain. He had seen her face contorted as if in pain many times but all those were manifestation of the pleasure he was giving her but here was genuine pain, the likes of which he had not seen on her face before. Seeing this he was thoroughly shaken.
“My father had also seen us that day,” he continued.
Meera’s face jerked up in shock, oh no .. not him too she choked on her tears.
“He wanted to kill us there and then but Saravanan stopped him. My father forbade me from ever seeing you after I came home that evening. They quickly married me off and my father banished me from the house. The rest you know..”
Now she knew the reason for the abrupt end of their affair. Yet my husband had not once said anything to me. Never admonished me. Never even had showed ant anger to me even after all that he had seen. Any other person would have somehow displayed their anger in some way. No one could bottle up everything like he has done. What did I ever do to deserve such a decent man. All these thoughts was causing her more and more anguish. Prabu’s father had wanted to kill us .. I would have gladly died in the hands of my husband for this unforgivable betrayal. Meera blindly kept stepping back wanting to drive all these painful thoughts from her mind. Her body hit the wall and she slumped down, sitting with her head buried on her knees.
“You see Meera, Saravanan cares for your happiness. That’s why he tolerated everything. He won’t begrudge the happiness that you will share with me.”
Meera looked up at Prabu, her face displaying sheer disgust for him. The only thing important for this scoundrel is the pleasure my body gives him. How can I have been so blind to all this. Just for these few moments of bodily pleasure I had lost the genuine happiness that I already had in my life. Things in life become crystal clear only when you lose everything.
“So what about my husband forsaking me. Am I to live a sham life with him,” Meera almost shouted at Prabu.
Prabu was taken aback. He had only seen desire in her eyes when she had seen him before. For the first time he was seeing disgust in those eyes. She was looking at him as if she was seeing a slimy worm.
Prabu still tried,” Meera, he is just upset now but he loves you too much. He will accept you .. accept the arrangement .. I promise. It will be for everyone’s good.”
“Whose good?? Yours.. all you want is this rotten flesh, nothing else matters. You are not the only one to blame. I am equally responsible for the mess I made of my life. Go away… I never want to see you again.. My life is finished.”
Prabu became frightened. “Meera you’re not going to …” he started.
“Kill myself?? Don’t worry I won’t. My death won’t be on your hands. I am doing this for my husband. He had gone through all these humiliations just so I don’t do this. I will never do anything further to damage his good name in anyway.”
Meera looked at Prabu,” now just get out. I can’t bear to see your face again.”
Prabu left. There was nothing more to say. Prabu kept staring at the ceiling, as he thought of the last glance he had of Meera, as she sat slumped in a corner in her hall.
Meera knew her husband would soon come in. She felt horribly ashamed to face him. Oh god, how much she had wronged him. She wanted to cry her heart out at his feet but she knew that what she did was unforgivable. She needed to see him. She hoped she would not completely break down if she saw him. There was so much she needed to say. She prayed to god for the strength she knew she needed. She felt empty inside. Grief kept choking her throat. She was staring blankly at the wall as she heard footsteps approaching her. Her heart was filled with trepidation. She knew it must be her husband.
Gomathi (Prabu’s wife) looked at him and asked,” You’re back so early? I thought you said you would only come back home this afternoon.
As she looked at him speculatively Prabu replied,” Yes, but my matters finished early. Looks like you went out too.”
“Only for a while to the shop nearby, just needed to buy some fruits,” she replied.
“Hm… okay I want to lie down for a while, I’m still feeling a bit tired.”
“What’s that on your cheek, it seems a bit reddish…is that a bruise? Gomathi asked getting up from the chair and coming towards him.
It must be the mark Saravanan’s hand had made when he punched me thought Prabu. “Oh it’s nothing, I didn’t look where I was going, I accidently banged my head against a post, it’s nothing.”
“No, no.. it looks slightly swollen. I’ll bring some ice,” she said in a concerned tone.
“Forget it, not necessary.” Prabu said slightly irritated.
How he was feeling now, his wife’s concerned ministrations were the last thing he wanted. He quickly walked into his room, quickly changed into a dhoti and lay down on the bed. His daughter was still sleeping beside him on the bed. He closed his eyes but for the turmoil that his mind was in, he was unlikely to doze off.
How badly he had miscalculated Meera’s behaviour on learning about the situation. He had expected her to be shocked, even a little bit shaken to realise that her husband had known about her infidelity all along. He had hoped then to convince her that her husband had actually wanted her to be happy and that is why he had given these options. When they continue their affair now with her husband’s knowing he may put in those conditions such as, their marriage henceforth would be a sham marriage for appearance sake only. He would have persuaded her that he, Prabu, would slowly convince Saravanan and he would slowly come around to accepting her again as his wife. They could then enjoy passionate sex with her husband’s blessing. Everything would be like before but now they could joyously mate without any feeling of guilt and fear of discovery.
Meera greeted him with a smiling face, but it was soon to fade from her countenance. He told about Saravanan discovery of their affair and the options he had proposed. Prabu had actually quickly told her about his own idea, hoping to plants the seeds of these thoughts in her mind before she started thinking of any other adverse options. The thing he noticed was that her face had become frozen. She didn’t react in any of the ways he had expected. The only outward indication of what she was feeling inside was the streaks of tears running down her cheeks. She seemed to gather herself and slowly started speaking. He was quite surprised at her line of questioning.
“When did he find out for the first time,” she asked.
He thought of lying to soften the blow but decided against it. In a way if she knew that he had seen them together a few times but did not take steps to stop them then she may feel in a way Saravanan could learn to accept the continuation of their affair Prabu calculated.
“He had seen us behind in the old house on the eve of Pappu’s wedding.”
A sob broke out from her throat but she managed to control it. For Meera on hearing that the first thing that crossed her mind was what she and Prabu had done there. If all her husband had seen was them kissing would not have been so bad but he would have seen Prabu press and caress her breasts and womanhood. However the worst thing would be not only how she willingly accepted his kisses but how forward she had been in caressing Prabu’s manhood.
“When was the next time?” she asked her voice breaking in sorrow.
Prabu slowly started feeling uneasy. Things were not going the way he had anticipated they would but he strangely could not lie anymore and proceeded to tell her everything.
“Saravanan had been upset by what he had seen on that day and had come back home early about two days after the wedding.”
Meera felt a chill running down her spine. That was the day she and Prabu had fornicated in her bedroom. Now things were becoming clearer. The reason her husband did not come home for lunch that day and the reason he brought his worker Marimuththu’s mother home that evening to stay with her.
“Did he see us….” She could quite say the words ‘mating’. She asked this even though she knew what the answer was.
“Yes,” was the only answer from Prabu.
Oh god, my husband had seen me and Prabu doing that horrible thing with his own eyes. God please just let me die she prayed silently. Why didn’t he stop us… he had not even spoken a harsh word to me even after seeing me betraying him, betraying his love and trust. Her hands covered her face. Prabu realised she was crying by the way her body shook.
“See Meera, he didn’t stop us.. he didn’t want you hurt. He wanted you to be happy.”
Prabu’s words had the opposite effect of what he intended. Prabu wanted to convey that her husband could learn to accept her infidelity and her happiness was of primary importance and would not stand in the way of them seeking their own happiness. Meera however realised that her husband bore all this because of the fear of what she would do to herself. If her husband had confronted them .. or even only her , she would have hung herself in shame. Saravanan knew her very well in all these years of marriage, he knew what she would have done. He had borne all this sorrow and pain stoically just for her sake, her wellbeing. That thought caused a huge pain in her heart as if it was pierced by a stake. That kind and loving man had suffered so much silently all for her. In return for all his trust, love and loyalty, she had behaved worst than a whore. She was disgusted with herself. Nothing she could ever do henceforth can make up for her ugly behaviour. Another thought struck her. So then why did everything stop suddenly. It must all be related to why Prabu left here without saying a word to her and it would have been nothing like the explanation that Prabu had given her yesterday when he met her. She was feeling shattered inside but she did not know how she was able to be still standing. The beautiful family that she had built with Saravanan had been completely destroyed by her stupidity and selfishness.
“Prabu, don’t lie to me anymore. Tell me the real reason you left suddenly without saying a word to me. Something must have happened on that day we met at the old temple hall. You did not speak or contact me after that.”
Meera needed to know what had happened even though she dreaded with all her soul about what she was going to hear. Prabu hesitated but knew there was no other way but to tell her what happened that evening.
“Saravanan had also come to that old temple hall after we had gone there. He had come there coincidently because someone had told him a piece of land close to the temple hall was coming up for sale.”
Meera’s head bowed down, tears from her eyes were now falling on the floor freely. It was mid-morning now, with the sun burning brightly outside but the hall of her house seemed to bathed in the same darkness that was grasping her heart now. It was as if she was back in the old temple with the sky, grey and gloomy from the impending thunderstorm.
“Saravana had seen us…”
No.. no…no…she shouted silently to herself. Why doesn’t the earth just swallow me up now. My poor husband…He saw all those horrible scenes…Meera cried hysterically to herself. The thoughts of all the types of things she did with Prabu that evening was killing here. No husband should ever witness his wife engage in such ugly acts with another man she lamented completely broken by those thoughts. The suffering, the humiliation of seeing his wife give herself so willingly to another man. She cried silently not being able to overcome the grief.
Prabu saw her facial muscles contorted in pain. He had seen her face contorted as if in pain many times but all those were manifestation of the pleasure he was giving her but here was genuine pain, the likes of which he had not seen on her face before. Seeing this he was thoroughly shaken.
“My father had also seen us that day,” he continued.
Meera’s face jerked up in shock, oh no .. not him too she choked on her tears.
“He wanted to kill us there and then but Saravanan stopped him. My father forbade me from ever seeing you after I came home that evening. They quickly married me off and my father banished me from the house. The rest you know..”
Now she knew the reason for the abrupt end of their affair. Yet my husband had not once said anything to me. Never admonished me. Never even had showed ant anger to me even after all that he had seen. Any other person would have somehow displayed their anger in some way. No one could bottle up everything like he has done. What did I ever do to deserve such a decent man. All these thoughts was causing her more and more anguish. Prabu’s father had wanted to kill us .. I would have gladly died in the hands of my husband for this unforgivable betrayal. Meera blindly kept stepping back wanting to drive all these painful thoughts from her mind. Her body hit the wall and she slumped down, sitting with her head buried on her knees.
“You see Meera, Saravanan cares for your happiness. That’s why he tolerated everything. He won’t begrudge the happiness that you will share with me.”
Meera looked up at Prabu, her face displaying sheer disgust for him. The only thing important for this scoundrel is the pleasure my body gives him. How can I have been so blind to all this. Just for these few moments of bodily pleasure I had lost the genuine happiness that I already had in my life. Things in life become crystal clear only when you lose everything.
“So what about my husband forsaking me. Am I to live a sham life with him,” Meera almost shouted at Prabu.
Prabu was taken aback. He had only seen desire in her eyes when she had seen him before. For the first time he was seeing disgust in those eyes. She was looking at him as if she was seeing a slimy worm.
Prabu still tried,” Meera, he is just upset now but he loves you too much. He will accept you .. accept the arrangement .. I promise. It will be for everyone’s good.”
“Whose good?? Yours.. all you want is this rotten flesh, nothing else matters. You are not the only one to blame. I am equally responsible for the mess I made of my life. Go away… I never want to see you again.. My life is finished.”
Prabu became frightened. “Meera you’re not going to …” he started.
“Kill myself?? Don’t worry I won’t. My death won’t be on your hands. I am doing this for my husband. He had gone through all these humiliations just so I don’t do this. I will never do anything further to damage his good name in anyway.”
Meera looked at Prabu,” now just get out. I can’t bear to see your face again.”
Prabu left. There was nothing more to say. Prabu kept staring at the ceiling, as he thought of the last glance he had of Meera, as she sat slumped in a corner in her hall.
Meera knew her husband would soon come in. She felt horribly ashamed to face him. Oh god, how much she had wronged him. She wanted to cry her heart out at his feet but she knew that what she did was unforgivable. She needed to see him. She hoped she would not completely break down if she saw him. There was so much she needed to say. She prayed to god for the strength she knew she needed. She felt empty inside. Grief kept choking her throat. She was staring blankly at the wall as she heard footsteps approaching her. Her heart was filled with trepidation. She knew it must be her husband.
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