12-02-2019, 10:39 AM
I came in and sat on the carpet where Sanjeev was also sitting. He was entering some figures in a notebook from some chits. I performed a pranam to Guru-ji and he gave me the usual ashirvad saying “Jai Linga Maharaj”.
Guru-ji: Anita, since I have to attend a devotee meeting after some time, I will go to the subject right away. I do not have much time now. As I told you Maha-yagya is the last step to attain salvation from your problem of not getting pregnant. It is a tough process and you will be challenged from all angles to complete it. Only you devotion can take you through. You should only aim at the gifted fruit, which you will bear in your womb after Maha-yagya.
I was almost mesmerized by his talks. Guru-ji’s loud, reverberating voice was making me confident too. I nodded.
Guru-ji: The Maha-yagya path is difficult for any woman to undergo, but eyeing the sweet reward at the end, you should prepare yourself. There are a few steps in Maha-yagya and as you pass each phase, you are nearer to your goal. It’s an acid test for your mind, body, and patience. If you have faith in me and in Linga Maharaj, you will surely attain your destination.
Me: I will surely do that Guru-ji. At any cost, I want to…
My voice chocked in as the pain of being childless suddenly was engulfing me.
Guru-ji: I can understand your pain Anita. You have successfully come so far and with Linga Maharaj’s blessings you will surely complete Maha-yagya successfully.
Guru-ji was silent for a moment.
Guru-ji: I know it is very difficult for a married woman like you to accept other males touching your body, but my treatment process is such that you have to accept it. Child bearing is related to sexual organs, isn’t it Anita? So how can I bypass them during the treatment? If I do not get a measure of your discharge, if I do not know if your vaginal passage has any blocks or not, how can I assess the next steps of the treatment?
I nodded to Guru-ji like an obedient student. In my ignorance, I was actually giving the nod for my majestic fucking in the ashram.
Guru-ji: That’s why on the very first day I asked you to shed off all inhibitions and shame. And today when you have traversed half way, I would ask you to be bold enough to undergo the Maha-yagya.
Guru-ji again halted for a split second and then went on explaining and unfolding Maha-yagya before me.
Guru-ji: What I mean by ‘bold’ is not to do a courageous act Anita, but be mentally bold to accept any situation. Though you have already proved that, but Maha-yagya might demand an extra yard of shamelessness from you. Actually what is a shameless act to you is a regular act for us. For example, yesterday in Kumar’s house you must have thought wrongly about me being naked and having sex with Shilpa, but that’s how tantra goes.
I avoided eye contact with Guru-ji out of natural shame. My ears were already getting hotter.
Guru-ji: When I took tantric diksha under my Guru, we were a total of five, out of which two were females and at that time it was a must to remain naked throughout the process. So you can understand…
I again avoided direct eye contact with Guru-ji and was breathing a little heavier now. Guru-ji was looking at my eyes while he continued talking.
Guru-ji: So, Anita, what I would again stress is – rather than focussing on your bodily condition, converge on the process that’s going on. Then only you can achieve the eventual. Got it?
Me: Yes Guru-ji.
Guru-ji: Now as I told you before Maha-yagya is a two-night affair, , which will start tonight from 10 p.m. You will take rest tomorrow daytime and get ready for tomorrow night’s concluding part of the yagya. I will not get into the detailed steps of the yagya right now, but will unfold to you as we proceed. Okay?
I nodded again.
Guru-ji: Fine. Sanjeev can you see if all the devotees have come or not? Then I can make a move.
Sanjeev: Sure Guru-ji.
Sanjeev closed his notebook and went outside the room. Now I was alone with Guru-ji.
Guru-ji: So Anita, as I mentioned, the Maha-yagya and the tantra philosophy are not formulated in recent times and are age-old and tested and hence its modus operandi demands disciples to be in the purest form while performing it. But keeping in mind that today men and women from cities and towns are also seeking its benefit, we now-a-days allow the “Maha-yagya Paridhan” (Paridhan=dress code). Previously, let me make this very clear again, it had to be done in the nude form, both the participant and the executor.
Guru-ji gave a pause probably to see my reaction. I was trying to guess what I would be allowed to wear and already feeling thirsty vaguely speculating about the “Maha-yagya Paridhan”. I wanted to ask him what the ‘paridhan’ would comprise of, but was searching for words to build up the question. Guru-ji as if read my mind!
Guru-ji: Anita, I agree the Maha-yagya Paridhan is not adequate for a matured woman, but little can I do about it. But again, as I said a number of times, your focus should be on your goal and not on other things.
Me: But still Guru-ji…
Guru-ji: I know Anita you will be curious. But focus should be worshipping Linga Maharaj, that’s all. Rest all, leave it on me.
Saying that he smiled and was about to ascend. Honestly I was by then pretty concerned regarding this “Maha-yagya Paridhan”.
Guru-ji: I need to move off now. By the way, I hope you don’t have any reservations to give measurements to Master-ji?
Master-ji! Oh No. Not again! Instantly I remembered my humiliating episode at the hands of Master-ji and Ramlal and I almost flushed.
Guru-ji: Anita, since I have to attend a devotee meeting after some time, I will go to the subject right away. I do not have much time now. As I told you Maha-yagya is the last step to attain salvation from your problem of not getting pregnant. It is a tough process and you will be challenged from all angles to complete it. Only you devotion can take you through. You should only aim at the gifted fruit, which you will bear in your womb after Maha-yagya.
I was almost mesmerized by his talks. Guru-ji’s loud, reverberating voice was making me confident too. I nodded.
Guru-ji: The Maha-yagya path is difficult for any woman to undergo, but eyeing the sweet reward at the end, you should prepare yourself. There are a few steps in Maha-yagya and as you pass each phase, you are nearer to your goal. It’s an acid test for your mind, body, and patience. If you have faith in me and in Linga Maharaj, you will surely attain your destination.
Me: I will surely do that Guru-ji. At any cost, I want to…
My voice chocked in as the pain of being childless suddenly was engulfing me.
Guru-ji: I can understand your pain Anita. You have successfully come so far and with Linga Maharaj’s blessings you will surely complete Maha-yagya successfully.
Guru-ji was silent for a moment.
Guru-ji: I know it is very difficult for a married woman like you to accept other males touching your body, but my treatment process is such that you have to accept it. Child bearing is related to sexual organs, isn’t it Anita? So how can I bypass them during the treatment? If I do not get a measure of your discharge, if I do not know if your vaginal passage has any blocks or not, how can I assess the next steps of the treatment?
I nodded to Guru-ji like an obedient student. In my ignorance, I was actually giving the nod for my majestic fucking in the ashram.
Guru-ji: That’s why on the very first day I asked you to shed off all inhibitions and shame. And today when you have traversed half way, I would ask you to be bold enough to undergo the Maha-yagya.
Guru-ji again halted for a split second and then went on explaining and unfolding Maha-yagya before me.
Guru-ji: What I mean by ‘bold’ is not to do a courageous act Anita, but be mentally bold to accept any situation. Though you have already proved that, but Maha-yagya might demand an extra yard of shamelessness from you. Actually what is a shameless act to you is a regular act for us. For example, yesterday in Kumar’s house you must have thought wrongly about me being naked and having sex with Shilpa, but that’s how tantra goes.
I avoided eye contact with Guru-ji out of natural shame. My ears were already getting hotter.
Guru-ji: When I took tantric diksha under my Guru, we were a total of five, out of which two were females and at that time it was a must to remain naked throughout the process. So you can understand…
I again avoided direct eye contact with Guru-ji and was breathing a little heavier now. Guru-ji was looking at my eyes while he continued talking.
Guru-ji: So, Anita, what I would again stress is – rather than focussing on your bodily condition, converge on the process that’s going on. Then only you can achieve the eventual. Got it?
Me: Yes Guru-ji.
Guru-ji: Now as I told you before Maha-yagya is a two-night affair, , which will start tonight from 10 p.m. You will take rest tomorrow daytime and get ready for tomorrow night’s concluding part of the yagya. I will not get into the detailed steps of the yagya right now, but will unfold to you as we proceed. Okay?
I nodded again.
Guru-ji: Fine. Sanjeev can you see if all the devotees have come or not? Then I can make a move.
Sanjeev: Sure Guru-ji.
Sanjeev closed his notebook and went outside the room. Now I was alone with Guru-ji.
Guru-ji: So Anita, as I mentioned, the Maha-yagya and the tantra philosophy are not formulated in recent times and are age-old and tested and hence its modus operandi demands disciples to be in the purest form while performing it. But keeping in mind that today men and women from cities and towns are also seeking its benefit, we now-a-days allow the “Maha-yagya Paridhan” (Paridhan=dress code). Previously, let me make this very clear again, it had to be done in the nude form, both the participant and the executor.
Guru-ji gave a pause probably to see my reaction. I was trying to guess what I would be allowed to wear and already feeling thirsty vaguely speculating about the “Maha-yagya Paridhan”. I wanted to ask him what the ‘paridhan’ would comprise of, but was searching for words to build up the question. Guru-ji as if read my mind!
Guru-ji: Anita, I agree the Maha-yagya Paridhan is not adequate for a matured woman, but little can I do about it. But again, as I said a number of times, your focus should be on your goal and not on other things.
Me: But still Guru-ji…
Guru-ji: I know Anita you will be curious. But focus should be worshipping Linga Maharaj, that’s all. Rest all, leave it on me.
Saying that he smiled and was about to ascend. Honestly I was by then pretty concerned regarding this “Maha-yagya Paridhan”.
Guru-ji: I need to move off now. By the way, I hope you don’t have any reservations to give measurements to Master-ji?
Master-ji! Oh No. Not again! Instantly I remembered my humiliating episode at the hands of Master-ji and Ramlal and I almost flushed.
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