Non-erotic Dawn at Midnight By Pinuram - {Completed}

[usaiha2]

I ran towards the gate with my son in my lap and asked the gate attendant---“Where is this flight going?”


---“Kuala Lumpur, Madam”

#

I forgot that I was in an airport terminal. My knees went weak and I sat on the chair with a thud and wailed out softly, clasping my son. My head was spinning, I wailed out from the depth of my bleeding soul “You can’t leave me Abhimanyu. You cannot leave me. Please do not go. I love you. For once just, come back and tell me what was my fault, why the whole world punished me like that. Please come back. My eyes were thirsty to get a glimpse of your face for so long. I was thirsty to hear your voice. How could you leave me like that, without even speaking a single word to me? Abhimanyu. You cannot leave me. I will die now. Once again I will lose myself.”

#

My son gave a bewildered look at my face, he never saw his mother crying so profusely. I was shaking, waves after waves crashed all over me. I sat there, cursing myself.

My pains grew stronger with each passing second when the door of the aerobridge closed in front of my eyes. I was not allowed to go through the aerobridge. I sat there still, unable to move for about an hour.

#

I looked at Abhi with my flooded my, his face was red, he was about to burst into tears on seeing his mother has flooded eyes.

I took his face, he threw the teddy on the floor and threw his arms around my neck and cooed in my ears---“Mamma don’t cry.”

I shook my head and wiped my eyes and face---“No honey, I will not cry.”

I touched his forehead with my lips---“I will not cry, my sweet heart. Let us go. This is not the place we should live.”

#

Dr. Sarkar came searching for me. He saw my read face and flooded eyes. He was astonished to find my face was having contours of pain and aggravation.

---“What happened to you, Suchismita? Are you all right?”

“No, I am not alright. How can I be alright when he left me crying again?” I looked at him with agonized eyes.

He sat beside me---“What happened, Suchismita?”

I lied to him---“Nothing Sir, just feeling pain that I am leaving India forever.”

He took Abhi, on his lap and said to me---“Let us move, board the plane.”

#

I wiped my eyes, looked at the closed door of the aerobridge from where my Heartthrob just passed. I knew that I had lost him in the crowd of this world. I knew that I would not get him; he would not find the truth that I was a widow then.

#

I pulled myself somehow and staggered to my aerobridge with heavy heart. The flight took off from New Delhi. I rested my head on the backrest of the seat. Abhi slept in my arms. The ripples inside my chest were not dying, with the jolt of the flight, the ripples grew stronger and the tears started to flow down flooding my cheeks and chest.

#

Those fifteen hours of my life were the shortest fifteen hours of my life. The past decade came in front of my sniveled eyes.

The day we first met, he kissed my forehead and I sat in that bus as if a bolt strokes me.

The night we sat under the mango tree and he kissed my face all over, before we had to part. The first pain of ripped my soul.

The anxious wait at Kalka station, he was to take me to a trip to total unknown horizon where we both were new and for the first time I was alone. I had faith in him.

The first fight of our life we had that night, the bitter fight in midst of beautiful wilderness.

The beautiful morning, we melted in each other’s arms, our bodies and soul entwined and glued ourselves forever.

My tiny present, he sucked my blood from my index finger. I had then only that present to give him. He cried and we lost ourselves again.

The day he left, I looked from the window of the drawing room. He looked up to the window for one last time and then his taxi went away in the dark. I fainted.

My first day at the college; first day at presidency. Completing Masters in Physics.

I waited for his call or news but that never arrived, because ChotoMa and Babu burnt all his letters.

My Parvati Boudi died, I hankered for solace in his arms but he was not there because he never came to knew about that news.

My mother’s demise, he wanted to ask for my hand from my mother who understood our love and gave consent that we could be conjoined. He wanted to ask for her doll, but he was ignorant that his Grand Aunt passed away leaving her doll to fight alone in this cruel world. His fairy died that day.

#

Every single day of the past decade after he left me, floated in front of my closed eyes.

“Life will not be same for me, baby prince. I am still waiting for you. I am still thirsty and need your arms warmth to sleep. I have not slept for a decade.” However, I was in the flight, which was flying towards Bordeaux taking me to live my new life in a new horizon.

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