12-02-2020, 01:26 PM
It was a Sunday in the month of January. I massaged baby oil on Abhi and was watching TV in the drawing room. He lay on the balcony, in the sun. Suddenly I heard him huffing, puffing, and making some sound. I ran down to the balcony to see what happened to him. I was amazed to see that he had turned on his tummy. His first turn, he tried to crawl.
I outstretched my arms---“Come on Abhi, crawl.”
He looked at me with his big eyes and smiled at me with tooth-less face---“Aaaaaa…” Moreover, he tried to crawl towards me. The sight of his first crawl and his turn brought tears in my eyes. A moment only a mother could apprehend the joy when her fawn turns and tries to crawl towards her lap.
He clasped the mattress in his fist and tried to crawl towards me.
I could not bear the scene of his struggle; his face was red as he was trying very hard to crawl towards me---“Mmmmaaaammmm…..”
I took him in my lap and showered kisses on his face---“Come on, enough for today. Now we have to bath.”
He nodded his little head---“Hmmmm…..”
I patted softly on his chubby cheeks---“Grow up quickly.”
#
One night I took out Abhimanyu’s diary and tried to write something. “Huh!” I told to myself “how could I write, I don’t have the capability to express my words so aptly like you.”
“Where are you? Will I ever meet you in this life time?” I turned the pages of his diary and read those lines what he wrote about me when he first met me. “The nights are very cold, Baby prince. I miss you very much. I need warmth in your arms.”
#
Teesta and Pushpanjali used to visit, my old friends were back again by my side. Maithili and I used to speak over the phone every other night.
#
One night I expressed my desire to organize “Annaprashan” for my son. I was a lonely woman so I asked her help. She did not show much interest in my suggestion and I was very much offended. For next one week, I stopped talking to her as I was very angry with her. Then on one Wednesday night, I received an unexpected phone call from Indrani Di, my eldest sister, who lives in Mumbai.
---“How are you? I have heard that you have got a job in Saha Institute of Nuclear Physics.”
I was very much surprised and happy to hear her voice after one year---“I am fine. How are you all doing?”
---“I must say, that my little sister has grown up. I feel proud now.”
I let out a deep breath “It was a time, you used to curse me like anything. You were the main person who was against my studies and when your sister has fought alone with the world and stood alone in battlefield, you have come to gather your accolades that I am your sister.”
---“Who told you all these?”
---“You never called for my help.”
It was against my self-esteem to beg in front of others---“It was actually not required. Are you coming to Kolkata?”
---“I am in Kolkata.”
I was very much surprised to hear that. Maithili never informed me that Indrani Di was in Kolkata. I got angrier with Maithili as why she did not informed me about Indrani Di.
She asked me---“Can you take a day off on Friday?”
---“Why, is there any occasion in the house?”
---“Yes, there is. Can you take a day off.”
---“Ok, I will be at my house by morning.”
She surprised me again---“No, no. You need not come at our place. Just take a day off.”
I was bewildered by her answer, probably she sensed my anxiety and she was laughing at the other end.
---“How is Abhi? I am dying to take my nephew and kiss him.”
#
Next day when I returned from Institute, I was very much surprised to could not contain myself on finding that all my brothers and sisters and their families were present in my house. My heart was filled up with so much of bliss that all came down my cheeks. Indrani Di, Chandrani Di their husbands, their children and my brothers and my sister-in-laws.
#
In that entire crowd, I could not find my son. Probably he was in the room as my house was very much crowded.
I gave a queer look at my mischievous sister-in-law, Maithili---“What is all these?”
I could not contain myself anymore, when I saw my eldest brother, Sumanto Da, coming out of my bedroom with Abhi in his lap. He was smiling at me.
---“How can I forget that I have to feed rice to my nephew.”
My heart ruptured in utter felicity. I looked all around the house everyone was smiling at me. I felt as if I was in a dream, I felt the old naughty sweet Paree to breathe the air of life.
My voice was choked; I asked my Sumanto Da---“When did you return?”
---“I returned few days earlier and I came to know everything from Maithili and Subroto. I cursed myself that my little sister has to undergo such pain in her life. I was insane to leave my life. I tried to find peace into the unknown world, when I could have found it here in my home. I searched a lot; I roamed in alleys and mountains for four years. However, torment did not leave me. I had to come back to my native place. I went and sat beside the pond and cried alone. Then I found peace.”
#
Meghna Boudi was very quiet all the time. I deduced form her facial expression that she was cursing herself to throw me out of the house. However, I had to leave my native place to do my job. Maithili came to me and said---“Won’t you talk to Meghna Boudi? She arranged all of these and gathered all of us. She counted days, for Abhi’s Annaprasan. That was the reason that I kept quiet last week. She wanted to surprise you.”
I gently walked towards her and said---“You did all these?”
She smiled sweetly at me---“How can I forget my son has to take his rice. It is very important for me.”
That was the priceless moment of my life, to have all my brothers and sisters around me. My two-room apartment was bubbling with crowd and noise. All those noise felt music to my ears.
#
Indrani Di was unaware of the fact that I loved Abhimanyu. She was curious as why I kept my maiden name and why I named my son after his name. Maithili and Subroto Da only knew the real fact. She was also curious of the fact that I was living so near to my ChotoMa’s place yet I was not living with her.
She smelled something and asked me after dinner---“Ulupi Di called me few days earlier. She was asking about you. You have not contact her? Why? They loved you as their own daughter.”
I was unable to tell her the truth. The image of Abhimanyu’s sniveled eyes and ChotoMa red face came in front of my wet hazy eyelids.
I grinded my jaws and I answered her---“ChotoMa ruined my life.”
She looked at my face. I was having pain in my soul and same time I felt pity on their aged soul.
---“Ulupi Di told me everything. She was crying a lot over the phone. Abhimanyu has not called them in last eight years. She asked me to bring you back to her.”
I was very much surprised to hear that. I lost all the words, my throat was dry and eyes were wet.
---“Do you want to talk to her?”
She handed me the mobile and asked me to speak to ChotoMa. I closed my eyes and pressed the mobile with my ear. From the other end of the receiver, I could her only long breaths. My ChotoMa was sobbing and so was I.
I wiped my face and gathered few drops of courage in my writhing soul to speak up---“How are you, ChotoMa?”
She wailed on hearing my voice and I could no more control my tears.
#
---“Can I see my grandson?”
I simply nodded my head “Yes.”
#
Next day, my ChotoMa and Babu arrived. My daze was unable to die down when I found my friends to arrive also at my place. I was amazed to find Teesta, Delisha and Pushpanjali. I gave a bewildered look at them. Teesta smiled at me sweetly, she said---“Maithili Di informed me yesterday night and then I called everyone.”
I looked around the house; my heart was beaming with morning sunrays.
#
I sneaked inside the restroom and looked at my face. It was creamy and vibrant again. I cried out softly to my reflected image in the mirror, “I am still alone in this crowd. Where are you? I miss you so much. See, everyone has come. Yet I am alone. In my happiest moment of my life, I have to bear the pain that you are not with me. Please call me once, I just want to hear your voice and then if you say that have you have your own life to carry on, I will never contact you. But for my sake, please come to me for once.”
Abhi’s annaprasan was held with much fanfare with close family and no outsiders. I was happy to see everyone by my side. However, amongst the crowd of the close knitted family members I felt lonely.
#
I outstretched my arms---“Come on Abhi, crawl.”
He looked at me with his big eyes and smiled at me with tooth-less face---“Aaaaaa…” Moreover, he tried to crawl towards me. The sight of his first crawl and his turn brought tears in my eyes. A moment only a mother could apprehend the joy when her fawn turns and tries to crawl towards her lap.
He clasped the mattress in his fist and tried to crawl towards me.
I could not bear the scene of his struggle; his face was red as he was trying very hard to crawl towards me---“Mmmmaaaammmm…..”
I took him in my lap and showered kisses on his face---“Come on, enough for today. Now we have to bath.”
He nodded his little head---“Hmmmm…..”
I patted softly on his chubby cheeks---“Grow up quickly.”
#
One night I took out Abhimanyu’s diary and tried to write something. “Huh!” I told to myself “how could I write, I don’t have the capability to express my words so aptly like you.”
“Where are you? Will I ever meet you in this life time?” I turned the pages of his diary and read those lines what he wrote about me when he first met me. “The nights are very cold, Baby prince. I miss you very much. I need warmth in your arms.”
#
Teesta and Pushpanjali used to visit, my old friends were back again by my side. Maithili and I used to speak over the phone every other night.
#
One night I expressed my desire to organize “Annaprashan” for my son. I was a lonely woman so I asked her help. She did not show much interest in my suggestion and I was very much offended. For next one week, I stopped talking to her as I was very angry with her. Then on one Wednesday night, I received an unexpected phone call from Indrani Di, my eldest sister, who lives in Mumbai.
---“How are you? I have heard that you have got a job in Saha Institute of Nuclear Physics.”
I was very much surprised and happy to hear her voice after one year---“I am fine. How are you all doing?”
---“I must say, that my little sister has grown up. I feel proud now.”
I let out a deep breath “It was a time, you used to curse me like anything. You were the main person who was against my studies and when your sister has fought alone with the world and stood alone in battlefield, you have come to gather your accolades that I am your sister.”
---“Who told you all these?”
---“You never called for my help.”
It was against my self-esteem to beg in front of others---“It was actually not required. Are you coming to Kolkata?”
---“I am in Kolkata.”
I was very much surprised to hear that. Maithili never informed me that Indrani Di was in Kolkata. I got angrier with Maithili as why she did not informed me about Indrani Di.
She asked me---“Can you take a day off on Friday?”
---“Why, is there any occasion in the house?”
---“Yes, there is. Can you take a day off.”
---“Ok, I will be at my house by morning.”
She surprised me again---“No, no. You need not come at our place. Just take a day off.”
I was bewildered by her answer, probably she sensed my anxiety and she was laughing at the other end.
---“How is Abhi? I am dying to take my nephew and kiss him.”
#
Next day when I returned from Institute, I was very much surprised to could not contain myself on finding that all my brothers and sisters and their families were present in my house. My heart was filled up with so much of bliss that all came down my cheeks. Indrani Di, Chandrani Di their husbands, their children and my brothers and my sister-in-laws.
#
In that entire crowd, I could not find my son. Probably he was in the room as my house was very much crowded.
I gave a queer look at my mischievous sister-in-law, Maithili---“What is all these?”
I could not contain myself anymore, when I saw my eldest brother, Sumanto Da, coming out of my bedroom with Abhi in his lap. He was smiling at me.
---“How can I forget that I have to feed rice to my nephew.”
My heart ruptured in utter felicity. I looked all around the house everyone was smiling at me. I felt as if I was in a dream, I felt the old naughty sweet Paree to breathe the air of life.
My voice was choked; I asked my Sumanto Da---“When did you return?”
---“I returned few days earlier and I came to know everything from Maithili and Subroto. I cursed myself that my little sister has to undergo such pain in her life. I was insane to leave my life. I tried to find peace into the unknown world, when I could have found it here in my home. I searched a lot; I roamed in alleys and mountains for four years. However, torment did not leave me. I had to come back to my native place. I went and sat beside the pond and cried alone. Then I found peace.”
#
Meghna Boudi was very quiet all the time. I deduced form her facial expression that she was cursing herself to throw me out of the house. However, I had to leave my native place to do my job. Maithili came to me and said---“Won’t you talk to Meghna Boudi? She arranged all of these and gathered all of us. She counted days, for Abhi’s Annaprasan. That was the reason that I kept quiet last week. She wanted to surprise you.”
I gently walked towards her and said---“You did all these?”
She smiled sweetly at me---“How can I forget my son has to take his rice. It is very important for me.”
That was the priceless moment of my life, to have all my brothers and sisters around me. My two-room apartment was bubbling with crowd and noise. All those noise felt music to my ears.
#
Indrani Di was unaware of the fact that I loved Abhimanyu. She was curious as why I kept my maiden name and why I named my son after his name. Maithili and Subroto Da only knew the real fact. She was also curious of the fact that I was living so near to my ChotoMa’s place yet I was not living with her.
She smelled something and asked me after dinner---“Ulupi Di called me few days earlier. She was asking about you. You have not contact her? Why? They loved you as their own daughter.”
I was unable to tell her the truth. The image of Abhimanyu’s sniveled eyes and ChotoMa red face came in front of my wet hazy eyelids.
I grinded my jaws and I answered her---“ChotoMa ruined my life.”
She looked at my face. I was having pain in my soul and same time I felt pity on their aged soul.
---“Ulupi Di told me everything. She was crying a lot over the phone. Abhimanyu has not called them in last eight years. She asked me to bring you back to her.”
I was very much surprised to hear that. I lost all the words, my throat was dry and eyes were wet.
---“Do you want to talk to her?”
She handed me the mobile and asked me to speak to ChotoMa. I closed my eyes and pressed the mobile with my ear. From the other end of the receiver, I could her only long breaths. My ChotoMa was sobbing and so was I.
I wiped my face and gathered few drops of courage in my writhing soul to speak up---“How are you, ChotoMa?”
She wailed on hearing my voice and I could no more control my tears.
#
---“Can I see my grandson?”
I simply nodded my head “Yes.”
#
Next day, my ChotoMa and Babu arrived. My daze was unable to die down when I found my friends to arrive also at my place. I was amazed to find Teesta, Delisha and Pushpanjali. I gave a bewildered look at them. Teesta smiled at me sweetly, she said---“Maithili Di informed me yesterday night and then I called everyone.”
I looked around the house; my heart was beaming with morning sunrays.
#
I sneaked inside the restroom and looked at my face. It was creamy and vibrant again. I cried out softly to my reflected image in the mirror, “I am still alone in this crowd. Where are you? I miss you so much. See, everyone has come. Yet I am alone. In my happiest moment of my life, I have to bear the pain that you are not with me. Please call me once, I just want to hear your voice and then if you say that have you have your own life to carry on, I will never contact you. But for my sake, please come to me for once.”
Abhi’s annaprasan was held with much fanfare with close family and no outsiders. I was happy to see everyone by my side. However, amongst the crowd of the close knitted family members I felt lonely.
#
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