Non-erotic Dawn at Midnight By Pinuram - {Completed}

[usaiha2]

Dr. Sarkar was very kind person. After finishing my exam paper, he asked me some simple queries. He was like a coconut, hard shell on the outer side and white creamy soft inner side. He was more interested in asking about my cub rather than questions of physics.


He told that his daughter live in Massachusetts, United States. He has a grandchild and he contends his heart by hearing his voice on phone.

I asked him as what was his subject of research.

---“Isotopes and nuclear matter.”

---“Interesting subject. I always loved to delve into the particle matter.”

---“Good, to find an apt student like you. However, Suchismita, being a mother and working in an Institution will take much of your energy and time. Are you ready for that?”

I never gave a second thought, I was having a lease of life in front of me, my dreams were about to be fulfilled. I was confident about the job.

---“Yes, sir. I will give my best.”

---“Think again before you commit. By the way do you have a passport?”

---“No, sir. It was not needed.”

---“You will need it. You may have to travel.”

I took a deep breath to fill my heart with the fresh air of life. I saw him standing behind Dr. Sarkar, smiling at me, as if saying to me “See, I told you to step out. Now conquer the world, Paree.”

---“I will manage, Sir.”

---“Good, so join from first October. By the way, are you going to travel daily from your village?”

---“No sir, I will rent some accommodation near this institute.”

I joined as a junior research fellow, in Saha Institute of Nuclear Physics. I was very happy that day. So happy, that I could not hide my tears when Dr. Sarkar came to bid me good-bye till the gate.

I stooped down to touch is feet, he blessed me---“May God bless you. You are very tough woman. I have heard everything from Rajat.”

#

I called Maithili to convey the news. I wanted to hear the voice of my child. He babbled sweetly on the phone.

His sweet babbles brought tears in my eyes---“Don’t cry, Mamma is coming to get you.”

I hurried to my home, my baby was crying for me and I cried along with him. He was only three months old and I could not feed him for six hours. The moment I saw his red face, a huge wave crashed on my heart. I took him in my lap and hugged him across my chest with all my strength.

I sobbed out---“Your mother had to go. She had no other options.”

I moved out within a week. Rajat helped me to find a two-bedroom apartment. My new address was in Saltlake, very near to my house in Kolkata yet so far from ChotoMa and Babu. The day I moved out, I remember Meghna Boudi came to me and she gave a pleading look at me.

---“I am sorry, Paree.”

I was unfazed by her words; I clasped my cub in my arms and said to her---“It is ok. No one can go against the nature of the society. I am happy to get a job in a prestigious institution and I can take care of myself.”

Dushtu was very quiet, I observed his pain same as the day I was married.

I tried to bring some smile on his face---“See; now you have a new place to visit.”

Maithili was very depressed, she came to me and said---“Take care, I am always with you.”

She took Abhi from my lap, kissed his chubby cheeks, and sobbed out---“Take care of your mom. Don’t be a naughty fellow.”

I patted her cheeks and controlled my wet eyelids---“I have no grievance with anyone of you.”

#

I looked at my house before boarding the taxi. Once I went away with my ChotoMa, that day I knew that my house would remain with me forever. Next time when I went away after demise of my mother, I felt that I was lost in oblivion. However, on that day, I felt nothing, as I felt those bricks were not beckoning me. I kissed Titli good-bye; she looked at me with queer gaze, trying to understand as why her mother was crying.

#

A new life started, as a mother and as a junior research fellow. A place; which was much known to me like my palm. I had to buy all the furniture and household commodities. I used one room as my bedroom and in another, I kept as storage room. Lots of money were spent in that, but I was happy that I was working and had some constant source of income. My apartment was only few kilometers from my Institute. I appointed a maid for twelve hours to look after my son while I was away for my job.

#

My soul writhed every morning, when I had to dress up, prepare my lunch and prepare food for my little baby and instruct my maid, Rina, to take care of my baby. When I kissed his face to bid him good bye, I felt crying and he would glue with me as if asking me not to go. I had to cover all my emotions with a huge boulder and shut the door behind me before walking down the stairs and walk to the bus-stand. I looked up at the balcony, where my maid used to stand with my Abhi, in her lap and waving his little hand as if saying me “Goodbye Mamma. I will be waiting eagerly to leap on your lap when you return.”

#

At the beginning, I was unable to concentrate in my works.

Dr. Sarkar apprehended my restlessness and cautioned me---“Suchismita, I warned you.”

A chill ran down my spine, I fumbled for words---“Sir, I am sorry.”

He was very compassionate to me---“It will take some time. You have to be strong. I never thought that a single mother would be my apprentice. I am fortunate to meet such a conspicuous and resolute lady by my side. May God bless you.”

#

Day by day, I dipped myself in my works. My heart writhed with thoughts that I was unable to give proper time for Abhi. Every day, when I returned from my work, I used to clasp him to my chest for long time. His tiny fingers used to scratch my cheeks. His soft palms felt awesome on my cold face. At night, when he slept peacefully beside me, I used to look at his face for hours. Tears use to flow down my cheeks, most of time. I whispered in his sleepy ears “My baby, I am very sorry. The time when you should be playing in your mother’s lap, your mother toils hard to bring happiness on your cute face.”

#