12-02-2020, 01:21 PM
I could not sleep that night, only one thought that circled in my mind and engulfed my soul was, “Where should I go now?” I took out Abhimanyu’s diary and pressed in on my chest. Tears rolled down my cheeks and soaked the cover of the “Optics notebook.” I tried to gather courage and warmth out of the lively words written in that diary.
It was dark outside and Abhi was sleeping quietly beside me. I looked at his face before closing my eyes. I heard the door creek. I looked up to the door, there was no one.
I heard a voice, a deep hum, saying me---“Paree.”
I shivered on hearing my name from the voice I eight years ago. I looked around to find “Are you really there? Where are you, come in front of me. Take me with you. Save me from my miseries.”
---“Step out, nothing will happen to you.”
---“Sure.”
---“Yes I am, Paree.”
#
I ran towards the door. August winds were howling bitterly outside. I observed that, Maithili was walking towards my room. She was surprised to see me on the balcony, having a bewildered face.
I was also surprised to see her in that hour---“What are you doing? You have not slept?”
She took me inside the room and asked me sit down on the bed---“You have not slept also.”
I gave a painful daunt look at her---“I am unable to sleep.”
---“So am I.”
---“You don’t need to put your family life in fray due to me.”
---“I tried to pacify your brothers and Meghna Boudi. But you know about the village rumors and pep talks.”
---“Yes I know that very well. I lived my twenty-five years here, in this soil and earth, among these fields and orchards. Last two times I went away, I never felt so sad. However, this time, it is sad for me. But, Churni, being a thirty-three year old lady and lived a life full of pains and torment, it made me strong enough to face whatever comes.”
Her voice was choked once again, but I never felt the pain of parting that time.
---“I am really helpless, Paree.”
I took her palms and soothed her---“Don’t be. No one need to shed tears for me anymore.” I let out a long exhale, I felt lighter---“It will be better for all of us. Churni, if several utensils are in one place, then it is bound to make noise. But if you keep those utensils away from each other then they don’t make noise with each other, right dear.”
---“I beg your forgiveness for what I said for all the pains you had to bear due to me.”
---“You never hurt me.”
---“I still feel that …..”
I gave a painful smile at her lamenting face---“Abhimanyu will understand everything and will forgive you.”
---“How he will understand?”
---“I don’t know how, but my heart says that he has forgiven you. Take my word, Churni.”
She threw her arms around me and hugged me closely. I never felt so much strong in my life even in that darkest hour. I heard his voice which told me to step out, probably his voice ignited fire inside me and made me strong enough to face the world waiting for me.
#
Next day morning, I called Teesta and told her that I need a job badly and as soon as possible.
---“But you have to wait for exams and results, Mita.”
---“I need a job desperately.”
---“What happened? This time I do not want any lies. If you feel that I am a friend of yours then you have to tell me everything.”
I told her about the village pep talks going around and everything what my brothers said to me.
She said to me---“Why don’t you come and stay at my house?”
---“No, that is not possible. I do not want to string up any person with my doomed fate. I just need some help, please.”
---“Let me talk to Debu. I am sure he will find something for you. I think my time has come to repay what you gave me, my love.”
---“It was not me who conjoined you two. There were hidden feelings between you two I just showed both of you.”
---“God does not come down to show path, Mita. He sends messenger to show the path.”
---“Don’t compare me with HIM, I am a doomed lady.”
---“You are the most precious lady I have ever met in my life. I will speak to Debu, in meantime pack your bags; I am coming to get you.”
She paid no heeds to my pleas.
Debobroto called me at evening---“So, you want to do a job.”
---“Yeah.”
He paused for few seconds---“See, to get into college you have to pass NET and for school teacher you have sit for SSC.”
---“But there are private schools also; I can get a job there also.”
---“Hmmm…. I don’t want you to be a teacher in a private school.”
---“Beggars are not choosers Debobroto. I have to take whatever comes in my way.”
---“There is a fellowship program in Saha Institute of Nuclear Physics at Saltlake. You can work under any professor and carry on with your studies as well. I think this will be a good option for you.”
I was amazed and same time I was skeptical as how could I get into that esteemed organization.
---“Don’t worry; I have contacts in Saha Institute. You remember Rajat in our class; he is working there. I know a professor who is looking for an apprentice for his project. Doctor Himangshu Sarkar. I will speak with him. But you have to clear few procedures.”
I leapt at his proposal---“Whatever be it, I will take that.”
I was shivering in excitement. My voice choked while expressing my gratitude to him---“I am very thankful to you. I don’t know how to thank you.”
---“You need not, Mita. Friends are there. By the way, probably Teesta will come at your place in a day or two to bring at our place.”
---“I don’t want to put you in some fray. I will rent out a flat near to the Institute in Saltlake.”
---“Are you sure, that you will be able to take care of yourself?”
I replied with endured voice---“Yes, I am. I have everything with me.” My little Abhi and my Abhimanyu’s diary.
#
The day I travelled to Saltlake, the bus passed through VIP road. It stooped at my ChotoMa’s place. I felt huge ripples inside me. I bit my lips to control my brewing emotions “How were they passing their days, without their son? Two aged person alone in the house, living a solitary agonizing life. No one to take care of them. Should in go, but why should I go? I am not their daughter neither their blood. Will they accept me? May be yes may be no.” The bus left the stoppage and I kept on thinking all those.
#
I was glad to find my old peers around me, Rajat. He greeted me with warm heart. Although we were never so close in our college days, but he helped me.
I smiled at him---“After long time we meet.”
---“You have changed a lot.”
---“Really, how so?”
---“You have become bit bulky.”
I laughed out on his observation and joked---“Stalking me again.”
He shook his head---“Oh! No not again. By the way, I have spoken to Dr. Sarkar. You have to sit for a written exam and then he will take an interview. You need not exert any unnecessary tension. I have told him everything about you and he will manage.”
---“I don’t have words to express my heartfelt gratitude to you.”
---“Leave it.”
I was skeptical at first to ask him about his ladylove, Pushpanjali, because at that time I was unaware whether they were actually married or not.
I asked him---“Are you married?”
He looked at me queer face and smiled---“She will be very happy to see you, after a long time. Why don’t you come to my house after meeting, Pushpanjali will be very glad to meet you?”
I left my four-month-old Abhi in care of my beloved Churni, although I knew that she would take care of him, but mother’s soul always feel the magnetic attraction to take her child in her lap.
---“Some other day, by the way where do you live?”
---“Same place, I used to.”
#
It was dark outside and Abhi was sleeping quietly beside me. I looked at his face before closing my eyes. I heard the door creek. I looked up to the door, there was no one.
I heard a voice, a deep hum, saying me---“Paree.”
I shivered on hearing my name from the voice I eight years ago. I looked around to find “Are you really there? Where are you, come in front of me. Take me with you. Save me from my miseries.”
---“Step out, nothing will happen to you.”
---“Sure.”
---“Yes I am, Paree.”
#
I ran towards the door. August winds were howling bitterly outside. I observed that, Maithili was walking towards my room. She was surprised to see me on the balcony, having a bewildered face.
I was also surprised to see her in that hour---“What are you doing? You have not slept?”
She took me inside the room and asked me sit down on the bed---“You have not slept also.”
I gave a painful daunt look at her---“I am unable to sleep.”
---“So am I.”
---“You don’t need to put your family life in fray due to me.”
---“I tried to pacify your brothers and Meghna Boudi. But you know about the village rumors and pep talks.”
---“Yes I know that very well. I lived my twenty-five years here, in this soil and earth, among these fields and orchards. Last two times I went away, I never felt so sad. However, this time, it is sad for me. But, Churni, being a thirty-three year old lady and lived a life full of pains and torment, it made me strong enough to face whatever comes.”
Her voice was choked once again, but I never felt the pain of parting that time.
---“I am really helpless, Paree.”
I took her palms and soothed her---“Don’t be. No one need to shed tears for me anymore.” I let out a long exhale, I felt lighter---“It will be better for all of us. Churni, if several utensils are in one place, then it is bound to make noise. But if you keep those utensils away from each other then they don’t make noise with each other, right dear.”
---“I beg your forgiveness for what I said for all the pains you had to bear due to me.”
---“You never hurt me.”
---“I still feel that …..”
I gave a painful smile at her lamenting face---“Abhimanyu will understand everything and will forgive you.”
---“How he will understand?”
---“I don’t know how, but my heart says that he has forgiven you. Take my word, Churni.”
She threw her arms around me and hugged me closely. I never felt so much strong in my life even in that darkest hour. I heard his voice which told me to step out, probably his voice ignited fire inside me and made me strong enough to face the world waiting for me.
#
Next day morning, I called Teesta and told her that I need a job badly and as soon as possible.
---“But you have to wait for exams and results, Mita.”
---“I need a job desperately.”
---“What happened? This time I do not want any lies. If you feel that I am a friend of yours then you have to tell me everything.”
I told her about the village pep talks going around and everything what my brothers said to me.
She said to me---“Why don’t you come and stay at my house?”
---“No, that is not possible. I do not want to string up any person with my doomed fate. I just need some help, please.”
---“Let me talk to Debu. I am sure he will find something for you. I think my time has come to repay what you gave me, my love.”
---“It was not me who conjoined you two. There were hidden feelings between you two I just showed both of you.”
---“God does not come down to show path, Mita. He sends messenger to show the path.”
---“Don’t compare me with HIM, I am a doomed lady.”
---“You are the most precious lady I have ever met in my life. I will speak to Debu, in meantime pack your bags; I am coming to get you.”
She paid no heeds to my pleas.
Debobroto called me at evening---“So, you want to do a job.”
---“Yeah.”
He paused for few seconds---“See, to get into college you have to pass NET and for school teacher you have sit for SSC.”
---“But there are private schools also; I can get a job there also.”
---“Hmmm…. I don’t want you to be a teacher in a private school.”
---“Beggars are not choosers Debobroto. I have to take whatever comes in my way.”
---“There is a fellowship program in Saha Institute of Nuclear Physics at Saltlake. You can work under any professor and carry on with your studies as well. I think this will be a good option for you.”
I was amazed and same time I was skeptical as how could I get into that esteemed organization.
---“Don’t worry; I have contacts in Saha Institute. You remember Rajat in our class; he is working there. I know a professor who is looking for an apprentice for his project. Doctor Himangshu Sarkar. I will speak with him. But you have to clear few procedures.”
I leapt at his proposal---“Whatever be it, I will take that.”
I was shivering in excitement. My voice choked while expressing my gratitude to him---“I am very thankful to you. I don’t know how to thank you.”
---“You need not, Mita. Friends are there. By the way, probably Teesta will come at your place in a day or two to bring at our place.”
---“I don’t want to put you in some fray. I will rent out a flat near to the Institute in Saltlake.”
---“Are you sure, that you will be able to take care of yourself?”
I replied with endured voice---“Yes, I am. I have everything with me.” My little Abhi and my Abhimanyu’s diary.
#
The day I travelled to Saltlake, the bus passed through VIP road. It stooped at my ChotoMa’s place. I felt huge ripples inside me. I bit my lips to control my brewing emotions “How were they passing their days, without their son? Two aged person alone in the house, living a solitary agonizing life. No one to take care of them. Should in go, but why should I go? I am not their daughter neither their blood. Will they accept me? May be yes may be no.” The bus left the stoppage and I kept on thinking all those.
#
I was glad to find my old peers around me, Rajat. He greeted me with warm heart. Although we were never so close in our college days, but he helped me.
I smiled at him---“After long time we meet.”
---“You have changed a lot.”
---“Really, how so?”
---“You have become bit bulky.”
I laughed out on his observation and joked---“Stalking me again.”
He shook his head---“Oh! No not again. By the way, I have spoken to Dr. Sarkar. You have to sit for a written exam and then he will take an interview. You need not exert any unnecessary tension. I have told him everything about you and he will manage.”
---“I don’t have words to express my heartfelt gratitude to you.”
---“Leave it.”
I was skeptical at first to ask him about his ladylove, Pushpanjali, because at that time I was unaware whether they were actually married or not.
I asked him---“Are you married?”
He looked at me queer face and smiled---“She will be very happy to see you, after a long time. Why don’t you come to my house after meeting, Pushpanjali will be very glad to meet you?”
I left my four-month-old Abhi in care of my beloved Churni, although I knew that she would take care of him, but mother’s soul always feel the magnetic attraction to take her child in her lap.
---“Some other day, by the way where do you live?”
---“Same place, I used to.”
#
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