12-02-2020, 01:02 PM
From March first week, I started to pack my belongings. I wanted to return to my native abode and started a new life of my own. I wanted to shed my dark past that I spent as Mrs. Karmakar and lead a life alone along with my little angel. I made up my mind that once I could free myself from my in-laws clutch I would never return to Dhanbad.
#
My in-laws suspected my intentions. My mother-in-law started to ask me queries about my packing. I told her that I would like to go to my native place for few days. I hid the truth from them else, they would have never given the consent.
#
I asked Niladri as what was his intention about marrying Pallavi.
---“Boudi, I fear that my dad would give consent about our marriage. That day she came to our house as your school colleague. Nevertheless, my mother suspected her reactions about you. She asked me queries about Pallavi.”
---“So, what have you told her.”
---“I have to brace myself and start a new life out of this coal business.”
Suddenly a roll of film passed in front of my eyes. My heartthrob also went away to start a new life, he dreamt of taking his fairy along with him but our fate was against us. That ill fate was manufactured that did not let us unite. Few painful ripples brewed inside me while I thought of him. My eyes fluttered and lips quivered.
Niladri noticed my uneasiness---“What happened, Boudi?”
I bit my lower lips and controlled my erupting emotions---“Nothing, I got lost in some beautiful memoirs of mine.”
#
It was the fateful evening of March second week. I was in my room and was arranging my cupboard and putting my belongings in my suitcase. I informed Maithili about my intentions and she gave me the courage.
I heard some intense argument between my father-in-law and Niladri. I suspected that they were arguing about Pallavi.
But as I stepped out of my room, the ambience was very different.
Niladri pointed towards me and shouted to his dad---“See, what have you done to Boudi.”
I was astounded to hear him talking like that to his father.
He continued in his top of voice. My mom-in-law tried to persuade him to keep quiet. But he was rebellious in his words.
---“I know, how Himadri had accident. That was not an accident dad. You and your coal mafia’s killed him. You made me pawn and dug out coal from Jhamadoba colliery. It was an open secret in our business domain. Parashar Singh of Barakar knew this. He wanted to smuggle out coal from the same colliery along with supervisor. But he knew that due to you and Himadri he won’t be able to step in. That was his truck which collided with the car.”
My father-in-law sat on the sofa with a thud. A huge wave brewed inside my chest on knowing the bitter truth. Even after knowing that the accident was not by fluke, I was unable to lament properly. However, as a human being, tears came in my eyes and my chest shook in pain.
My father-in-law looked at me and said---“I am sorry, Suchi. My business took away your life from you.”
I spoke in calm voice---“I want to return to my village.”
He roared at me---“NO. You are not going anywhere. You will stay here with us; after all, you are my daughter in law. You are going to give birth to my first grandchild. I do not want to miss my grandchild this time.”
I shook my head in dismay and angst---“I want to do job and start a new life.”
---“I wanted a home maker Suchi, and that what you will be.”
I clenched my jaws upon hearing those words. My head was about to burst in anger after hearing him.
He looked at Niladri and hissed at him---“For you, I won’t allow Pallavi to be my daughter-in-law.”
Niladri could not keep his temper and screamed at him---“Do whatever you want I am going to leave this house forever and I will take my Boudi with me.”
He shouted at Niladri---“You can go wherever you want, but she is not leaving this house.”
My mom-in-law was all-silent during these heated conversations.
She spoke to me---“Suchi, I don’t want to lose another grandchild. I don’t want you to leave.”
---“But, I don’t want to live in a cage. Am I a furniture in your house that you would keep as a trophy? No, I have pulsating heart inside me, I want to live.”
She lamented on her helplessness---“I have no say for that, Suchi.”
“You keep your mouth shut, Rajani. Has anyone asked your opinion?” my father-in-law hissed at her.
#
I fathomed that the only way I was left with was to take my life. I did not want to bring my child in that dark world where there was no love, no compassion. I could not pose as a burden for Niladri. If I go away with him, then the society would create unwanted gags about us that would put our life in bitter fray.
That night after dinner, I braced myself inside my room for the last call. I looked around the room in which I was caged. The walls looked at me in a concocted gaze. I gave a painful smile to those walls and said “goodbye”. I gathered up myself, braced myself to take my life. My heart and soul writhed in pain. Very gently and with deep love, I caressed my womb, my sapling lying inside, engulfed in my blood and placenta, unaware of the dark world surrounded him. I looked at myself, there was no blood on my face, and my lips were dry. I placed my palms on my cheeks to see whether there was any life left or not, it was all cold.
#
I took a deep breath and took a glass, filled that with the bathroom cleaning acid and phenyl. I sat on my bed and I sobbed softly. My whole life came in front of my eyes. My house, the fields where I played, the fruit orchard where I used to run during summer to pick up mangoes, the pond where I used to swim, the roof where I used to sit with my doll, the puja room where my mother offered puja to her deity. Then I saw Abhimanyu’s eyes, I felt his first kiss on my forehead. My chest trembled violently as I sensed his lips on my forehead. I tried to keep that sweet touch forever with me but it went away. His signature gesture of saying me good-bye at Kalka station. His sniveled eyes when we parted in one rainy morning in July 2001. Every part of my colourful past came in front of my eyes.
I took a deep breath and stooped down to look at my womb. I murmured in my heart “I am sorry my child. I do not want to bring you in the dark world that has engulfed me and drowned me in its quicksand.” I cried and cried until my eyes were sore and red. I closed my eyes to take the deep plunge into the darkness of death.
#
All of a sudden I heard knock on the door, it was bolted from inside. I was astounded to hear the knock at that dead night. I did not expect anyone to knock my door at that point of time. I skulked in one corner of the bed, the knocking continued. I shook in one corner, the knock died down. I was shaking in fear. I walked to my table and placed the glass on that, suddenly the glass panes of the window broke. I was caught in fear when I saw a shadow on the window. My heart started to thump fast inside my chest; I was sweating profusely.
Niladri climbed down, a huge load came off my chest. But my heart filled up with disgust as he came between me and my intention. I was about to shriek on him, he came close to me and pressed his hand on my mouth.
He looked at the table, at the glass and whispered in my ears---“What is that, Boudi?”
I cried out---“I don’t want to live anymore Niladri, let me die.”
He pressed me hard against the wall and pressed his hands on my lips to shut me up.
I shook my head trying to tell him that I do not want to live anymore. His face was filled up with pain and angst.
---“No, don’t be stupid, Boudi. I want you to live.”
My soul was void, my eyes were sore. My breaths were faster with each passing seconds. I shook my head to express my loathe to live. He put his arms around me and asked me to sit on the bed.
---“I will fix everything, Boudi. I will fix my life and I will fix yours.”
---“How?”
He took out his mobile and called someone.
---“Raheel where are you? ….. Good, you are in Dhanbad…. Ok…… You do have car with you. …….. Ok…… Come at the back alley of our house in next ten minutes…… Oh! No Saima is also with you? Well bring her along with you…….. Yes……… I will give you whatever you want……. I want you and Saima just now with your car, Raheel please………..”
#
I was at loss of my thoughts as what all he wanted to do and what was going to happen. He asked me to keep quiet. I was tensed as he was not speaking anything to me. Tension was dripping from his face also as he was eagerly waiting for the person whom he called.
After some time we heard a screeching sound of a car to stop, behind the house. Niladri asked me to come with him.
I gave a bewildered look at him---“Where?”
---“Just go away, Suchi Di.”
For the first time he called me “Suchi Di.” I looked at him. His eyes were glistening in tears. He nodded his head---“Your brother-in-law died with Himadri, Suchi Di. I am one of your poor brother. Now go away.”
#
The window was small so he scooped me and helped me out of the window. A Maruti van was waiting outside. I saw a woman and a person. “That person must be Raheel,” I thought. A deep anxiety ran down my spine “Where was I going? What was going to happen to me?”
Niladri asked me to sit inside the car, I felt as if I was in some horrible nightmare. I was unable to gather as what all was happening to me.
Niladri said to Raheel---“Take my Boudi to your house. I will meet you tomorrow and then decide. But today you have to take her away.”
He told to the lady---“Saima, I am really grateful that you have come. My Boudi is three months pregnant; take care of her, please.” He folded his hands in front of Saima and pleaded her from the depth of his heart.
All those time, I sat as a stone in the seat, trying to fathom the storm that was going around. I gave a bewildered look at Niladri and asked---“What is this? What about you?”
---“I can take care of myself, Suchi Di. Please leave this house forever. I know my dad; he won’t allow to breathe you in fresh air ever again. He never will. I will handle whatever comes here. You leave this. I will meet you tomorrow I promise and I will bring your bags.”
Saima looked at me and smiled softly---“Don’t worry, Boudi everything will be alright.”
I was still dipped in confusion “Was that a devious act of Niladri? Was he acting like a brother and trying to bring harm to my life?”
He stooped before me and touched my feet all my bitter apprehension died.
I cried out I could not control myself and hugged him with all my strength---“I am sorry, Niladri. I am an ill-fated woman. The people whoever comes in my life, leave me forever.”
He sobbed in a deep groaning voice---“Live your life, Suchi Di. Go.”
#
The car zoomed out of Dhanbad, cutting through the dark night. Even the reflection of the head light was not returning. I sat as a cold stone effigy inside the car, with Saima beside me. She tried to persuade me. I was feeling very tense and all those tensions were coming out from my eyes in from of tears.
“What a turbulent I have. Even my life is all covered with darkness as the cold night.” I kept on thinking all these. I gave a bewildered look at Saima who was sitting beside me. She gave me a compassionate look. I thought, “Whether that gaze was going to deceive me again? What lies behind that look? I was going to a total unknown place with total unknown persons. Who were they? What were they going to do with me?” I was shivering terribly in cold. Saima hugged me in her arms and wrapped her shawl around me. I was sweating profusely in that cold night.
Saima fathomed my trepidation contours of my face.
“Apa, why are you shivering like that? You don’t need to worry about anything.” Raheel was driving the car, he said to me. “Niladri and I were best friends since childhood. He can do anything for me and I can do anything for him. You need not worry Apa. You are his Boudi and our Boudi also.”
I lost my answers; I was in tears as I heard those words. “No near and dear ones were around me. I was in behest of people whom I never knew. My life is like that.” I thought.
---“We live in Kulti; Apa. We are taking you to my house. You will be safe.”
Saima nodded and consoled me---“Boudi, don’t brew unnecessary trepidation in your heart. Don’t feel like that, please.”
#
Her soothing word acted as honey drops for soul. I tried to close my eyes. A sharp pain was attacking my head, I felt nauseated in arms of Saima. I swooned to slumber.
When I woke up, the car was passing through narrow lanes and by-lanes. I looked at Saima she was also sleeping. It was still dark outside. After sometime, we reached in front of a house. Saima woke up.
I asked Saima---“Where is this?”
---“Masjidia park, that is our house, Apa.”
#
A middle-aged woman came out of the house. Raheel said something to that woman. She gave me a compassionate look and ushered me inside the house. That lady was Raheel’s mother. I saw my loving mother, in her eyes. She took utmost care while I climbed the stairs. She took me to a room and asked me to take rest. She gave me some fruits and a tumbler full of milk to drink. My eyes were still wet with all those incidents. My eyes were full of curiosity; I looked around the walls. The room was small but very clean and few paintings of calligraphy graced the walls. I understood that they were pious religious people. Saima asked me to change my dress and take rest. Nevertheless, I was unable to sleep although I was tired. The deep anxiety kept me awake. I was engulfed again with unknown fear.
#
The next day, since morning I was feeling very uneasy. I sat cowered on the bed waiting for someone to bring some news. Saima entered with my breakfast, she looked at my weary contours of my face and sat beside me.
I asked her---“Have you got any news of Niladri?”
She shook her head---“No, my husband tried his phone since night but his mobile was switched off.”
A sheer grief engulfed me “What has happened to him?” I prayed to God “Please keep him safe.”
The whole day passed, without any news from Niladri. Every time, Saima or Raheel’s mother used entered the room, I asked them about Niladri. But there was no news of Niladri. My heart started to thump faster with each passing hour.
#
In the afternoon, when Saima came to me I asked her that I want to make a call. I wanted to call Maithili and inform her about my situation.
“Hello, Churni” My voice was shaking terribly.
She smelled my distress---“What happened?”
Somehow, I narrated the whole incident. She was shell shocked to know all those. She asked Subroto Da to come to Kulti to bring me back.
I wailed to her---“Please take me home, Churni.”
She persuaded me---“Please, stop crying and be strong. Everything will be alright. Your brother is coming to get you. How is your health? Everything ok?”
---“Yes, I am fine till now. But I am feeling very uneasy since morning.”
---“That’s all because of tiredness. Where are your belongings? What about those papers and certificates and all?”
In that hurry, I forgot to bring all those important documents with me. I shivered in grief---“I don’t have those. They are in Dhanbad.”
Her voice sounded in sheer dismay---“Insane girl. You should have brought those along with you.”
---“But all happened like a thunder. I was unable to understand for a long time that what all was happening to me. I was not even in myself, Churni.”
---“Ok, ok, ok…. Try to keep cool and return to me in one piece, Paree.”
I sobbed out---“How is Nilanjana?”
She laughed---“She is fine, waiting for her aunt to sing her a lullaby.”
I could not control my tears---“I love you Churni. Please get me out of this.”
---“Keep calm; Paree. Who is with you, give the phone to that person.”
I handed the phone to Saima, the spoke for some time.
Saima consoled me---“Your brothers are coming, Apa. Please take some rest, at least for the sake of your child, Apa. Everything will be alright.”
#
How could I keep myself out of those revulsions? I caressed my womb over my dress; my baby was sleeping deep inside me. I shed few drops of tears.
In the evening Saima informed me that my brother’s have started from my native place and were coming to get me. I felt huge relieve, I thanked her profusely from the abyss of my soul.
#
It was late evening, Raheel and Saima entered in my room. I got suspicious from the look of their face. My heart quailed; I soft groan bellowed out from my chest---“Where is Niladri?”
They shook their head and ushered Subroto Da and Shasanko Da into the room. I could not control my happiness as I saw them. I threw my arms around Subroto Da, hugged him with all my strength, and broke in tears. I felt like having the sky in my embrace when I saw my brothers. A huge
---“Please take me home.”
---“Ok, ok. We will go now. Keep quiet.”
---“No, just take me home.”
Raheel said to Shasanko Da---“Take rest tonight, tomorrow morning I will take you to Asansol. From there you can board train.”
Shasanko Da asked me about what all happened; I told him the whole story. He was furious upon hearing the whole episode.
---“I was helpless Dada, what could I do except taking my life?”
He was burning in anger; he said that he would file a security officer complaint against my in-laws. I could not think of anything at that time. I was agitated at the same time I was very fidgety about Niladri. “What could happen to him? I do not want anyone to be in grave for me.”
#
Saima and Raheel’s mother took utmost care of me. I was flattered by their hospitality. Every time she soothed my head, it reminded me of my mother and ChotoMa. Both loved me; however, their expression of love was different. ChotoMa was truly a mother figure to me, but her snobbery took away the happiness from my life and made me doomed for life. I cursed her that time for my doomed life. I kept of lamenting on my doomed fate. No words could soothe my demolished mental condition. Saima kept on consoling me that nothing would happen to Niladri or me. But an unknown jitter engulfed my soul that something might have happened to him, else he would contacted Raheel.
#
I spoke to Maithili; she was the only person in the whole world who stood as pillar for my battered life.
---“Your brother’s are with you, so why are you crying?”
I could not hide my distress from her, my voice trembled---“Niladri!!!!......”
---“Nothing will happen to him, he is old enough to look after himself.”
---“But you don’t know my father-in-law, he is dangerous, and what about Pallavi?”
---“Keep calm, Paree. I assure you that nothing is going to happen to them.”
I screamed at her---“How can you be so sure?”
She was well aware of my writhing heart---“I know that, simple enough. Take care of yourself. Too much of tension will put too much stress on you and your child.”
#
#
My in-laws suspected my intentions. My mother-in-law started to ask me queries about my packing. I told her that I would like to go to my native place for few days. I hid the truth from them else, they would have never given the consent.
#
I asked Niladri as what was his intention about marrying Pallavi.
---“Boudi, I fear that my dad would give consent about our marriage. That day she came to our house as your school colleague. Nevertheless, my mother suspected her reactions about you. She asked me queries about Pallavi.”
---“So, what have you told her.”
---“I have to brace myself and start a new life out of this coal business.”
Suddenly a roll of film passed in front of my eyes. My heartthrob also went away to start a new life, he dreamt of taking his fairy along with him but our fate was against us. That ill fate was manufactured that did not let us unite. Few painful ripples brewed inside me while I thought of him. My eyes fluttered and lips quivered.
Niladri noticed my uneasiness---“What happened, Boudi?”
I bit my lower lips and controlled my erupting emotions---“Nothing, I got lost in some beautiful memoirs of mine.”
#
It was the fateful evening of March second week. I was in my room and was arranging my cupboard and putting my belongings in my suitcase. I informed Maithili about my intentions and she gave me the courage.
I heard some intense argument between my father-in-law and Niladri. I suspected that they were arguing about Pallavi.
But as I stepped out of my room, the ambience was very different.
Niladri pointed towards me and shouted to his dad---“See, what have you done to Boudi.”
I was astounded to hear him talking like that to his father.
He continued in his top of voice. My mom-in-law tried to persuade him to keep quiet. But he was rebellious in his words.
---“I know, how Himadri had accident. That was not an accident dad. You and your coal mafia’s killed him. You made me pawn and dug out coal from Jhamadoba colliery. It was an open secret in our business domain. Parashar Singh of Barakar knew this. He wanted to smuggle out coal from the same colliery along with supervisor. But he knew that due to you and Himadri he won’t be able to step in. That was his truck which collided with the car.”
My father-in-law sat on the sofa with a thud. A huge wave brewed inside my chest on knowing the bitter truth. Even after knowing that the accident was not by fluke, I was unable to lament properly. However, as a human being, tears came in my eyes and my chest shook in pain.
My father-in-law looked at me and said---“I am sorry, Suchi. My business took away your life from you.”
I spoke in calm voice---“I want to return to my village.”
He roared at me---“NO. You are not going anywhere. You will stay here with us; after all, you are my daughter in law. You are going to give birth to my first grandchild. I do not want to miss my grandchild this time.”
I shook my head in dismay and angst---“I want to do job and start a new life.”
---“I wanted a home maker Suchi, and that what you will be.”
I clenched my jaws upon hearing those words. My head was about to burst in anger after hearing him.
He looked at Niladri and hissed at him---“For you, I won’t allow Pallavi to be my daughter-in-law.”
Niladri could not keep his temper and screamed at him---“Do whatever you want I am going to leave this house forever and I will take my Boudi with me.”
He shouted at Niladri---“You can go wherever you want, but she is not leaving this house.”
My mom-in-law was all-silent during these heated conversations.
She spoke to me---“Suchi, I don’t want to lose another grandchild. I don’t want you to leave.”
---“But, I don’t want to live in a cage. Am I a furniture in your house that you would keep as a trophy? No, I have pulsating heart inside me, I want to live.”
She lamented on her helplessness---“I have no say for that, Suchi.”
“You keep your mouth shut, Rajani. Has anyone asked your opinion?” my father-in-law hissed at her.
#
I fathomed that the only way I was left with was to take my life. I did not want to bring my child in that dark world where there was no love, no compassion. I could not pose as a burden for Niladri. If I go away with him, then the society would create unwanted gags about us that would put our life in bitter fray.
That night after dinner, I braced myself inside my room for the last call. I looked around the room in which I was caged. The walls looked at me in a concocted gaze. I gave a painful smile to those walls and said “goodbye”. I gathered up myself, braced myself to take my life. My heart and soul writhed in pain. Very gently and with deep love, I caressed my womb, my sapling lying inside, engulfed in my blood and placenta, unaware of the dark world surrounded him. I looked at myself, there was no blood on my face, and my lips were dry. I placed my palms on my cheeks to see whether there was any life left or not, it was all cold.
#
I took a deep breath and took a glass, filled that with the bathroom cleaning acid and phenyl. I sat on my bed and I sobbed softly. My whole life came in front of my eyes. My house, the fields where I played, the fruit orchard where I used to run during summer to pick up mangoes, the pond where I used to swim, the roof where I used to sit with my doll, the puja room where my mother offered puja to her deity. Then I saw Abhimanyu’s eyes, I felt his first kiss on my forehead. My chest trembled violently as I sensed his lips on my forehead. I tried to keep that sweet touch forever with me but it went away. His signature gesture of saying me good-bye at Kalka station. His sniveled eyes when we parted in one rainy morning in July 2001. Every part of my colourful past came in front of my eyes.
I took a deep breath and stooped down to look at my womb. I murmured in my heart “I am sorry my child. I do not want to bring you in the dark world that has engulfed me and drowned me in its quicksand.” I cried and cried until my eyes were sore and red. I closed my eyes to take the deep plunge into the darkness of death.
#
All of a sudden I heard knock on the door, it was bolted from inside. I was astounded to hear the knock at that dead night. I did not expect anyone to knock my door at that point of time. I skulked in one corner of the bed, the knocking continued. I shook in one corner, the knock died down. I was shaking in fear. I walked to my table and placed the glass on that, suddenly the glass panes of the window broke. I was caught in fear when I saw a shadow on the window. My heart started to thump fast inside my chest; I was sweating profusely.
Niladri climbed down, a huge load came off my chest. But my heart filled up with disgust as he came between me and my intention. I was about to shriek on him, he came close to me and pressed his hand on my mouth.
He looked at the table, at the glass and whispered in my ears---“What is that, Boudi?”
I cried out---“I don’t want to live anymore Niladri, let me die.”
He pressed me hard against the wall and pressed his hands on my lips to shut me up.
I shook my head trying to tell him that I do not want to live anymore. His face was filled up with pain and angst.
---“No, don’t be stupid, Boudi. I want you to live.”
My soul was void, my eyes were sore. My breaths were faster with each passing seconds. I shook my head to express my loathe to live. He put his arms around me and asked me to sit on the bed.
---“I will fix everything, Boudi. I will fix my life and I will fix yours.”
---“How?”
He took out his mobile and called someone.
---“Raheel where are you? ….. Good, you are in Dhanbad…. Ok…… You do have car with you. …….. Ok…… Come at the back alley of our house in next ten minutes…… Oh! No Saima is also with you? Well bring her along with you…….. Yes……… I will give you whatever you want……. I want you and Saima just now with your car, Raheel please………..”
#
I was at loss of my thoughts as what all he wanted to do and what was going to happen. He asked me to keep quiet. I was tensed as he was not speaking anything to me. Tension was dripping from his face also as he was eagerly waiting for the person whom he called.
After some time we heard a screeching sound of a car to stop, behind the house. Niladri asked me to come with him.
I gave a bewildered look at him---“Where?”
---“Just go away, Suchi Di.”
For the first time he called me “Suchi Di.” I looked at him. His eyes were glistening in tears. He nodded his head---“Your brother-in-law died with Himadri, Suchi Di. I am one of your poor brother. Now go away.”
#
The window was small so he scooped me and helped me out of the window. A Maruti van was waiting outside. I saw a woman and a person. “That person must be Raheel,” I thought. A deep anxiety ran down my spine “Where was I going? What was going to happen to me?”
Niladri asked me to sit inside the car, I felt as if I was in some horrible nightmare. I was unable to gather as what all was happening to me.
Niladri said to Raheel---“Take my Boudi to your house. I will meet you tomorrow and then decide. But today you have to take her away.”
He told to the lady---“Saima, I am really grateful that you have come. My Boudi is three months pregnant; take care of her, please.” He folded his hands in front of Saima and pleaded her from the depth of his heart.
All those time, I sat as a stone in the seat, trying to fathom the storm that was going around. I gave a bewildered look at Niladri and asked---“What is this? What about you?”
---“I can take care of myself, Suchi Di. Please leave this house forever. I know my dad; he won’t allow to breathe you in fresh air ever again. He never will. I will handle whatever comes here. You leave this. I will meet you tomorrow I promise and I will bring your bags.”
Saima looked at me and smiled softly---“Don’t worry, Boudi everything will be alright.”
I was still dipped in confusion “Was that a devious act of Niladri? Was he acting like a brother and trying to bring harm to my life?”
He stooped before me and touched my feet all my bitter apprehension died.
I cried out I could not control myself and hugged him with all my strength---“I am sorry, Niladri. I am an ill-fated woman. The people whoever comes in my life, leave me forever.”
He sobbed in a deep groaning voice---“Live your life, Suchi Di. Go.”
#
The car zoomed out of Dhanbad, cutting through the dark night. Even the reflection of the head light was not returning. I sat as a cold stone effigy inside the car, with Saima beside me. She tried to persuade me. I was feeling very tense and all those tensions were coming out from my eyes in from of tears.
“What a turbulent I have. Even my life is all covered with darkness as the cold night.” I kept on thinking all these. I gave a bewildered look at Saima who was sitting beside me. She gave me a compassionate look. I thought, “Whether that gaze was going to deceive me again? What lies behind that look? I was going to a total unknown place with total unknown persons. Who were they? What were they going to do with me?” I was shivering terribly in cold. Saima hugged me in her arms and wrapped her shawl around me. I was sweating profusely in that cold night.
Saima fathomed my trepidation contours of my face.
“Apa, why are you shivering like that? You don’t need to worry about anything.” Raheel was driving the car, he said to me. “Niladri and I were best friends since childhood. He can do anything for me and I can do anything for him. You need not worry Apa. You are his Boudi and our Boudi also.”
I lost my answers; I was in tears as I heard those words. “No near and dear ones were around me. I was in behest of people whom I never knew. My life is like that.” I thought.
---“We live in Kulti; Apa. We are taking you to my house. You will be safe.”
Saima nodded and consoled me---“Boudi, don’t brew unnecessary trepidation in your heart. Don’t feel like that, please.”
#
Her soothing word acted as honey drops for soul. I tried to close my eyes. A sharp pain was attacking my head, I felt nauseated in arms of Saima. I swooned to slumber.
When I woke up, the car was passing through narrow lanes and by-lanes. I looked at Saima she was also sleeping. It was still dark outside. After sometime, we reached in front of a house. Saima woke up.
I asked Saima---“Where is this?”
---“Masjidia park, that is our house, Apa.”
#
A middle-aged woman came out of the house. Raheel said something to that woman. She gave me a compassionate look and ushered me inside the house. That lady was Raheel’s mother. I saw my loving mother, in her eyes. She took utmost care while I climbed the stairs. She took me to a room and asked me to take rest. She gave me some fruits and a tumbler full of milk to drink. My eyes were still wet with all those incidents. My eyes were full of curiosity; I looked around the walls. The room was small but very clean and few paintings of calligraphy graced the walls. I understood that they were pious religious people. Saima asked me to change my dress and take rest. Nevertheless, I was unable to sleep although I was tired. The deep anxiety kept me awake. I was engulfed again with unknown fear.
#
The next day, since morning I was feeling very uneasy. I sat cowered on the bed waiting for someone to bring some news. Saima entered with my breakfast, she looked at my weary contours of my face and sat beside me.
I asked her---“Have you got any news of Niladri?”
She shook her head---“No, my husband tried his phone since night but his mobile was switched off.”
A sheer grief engulfed me “What has happened to him?” I prayed to God “Please keep him safe.”
The whole day passed, without any news from Niladri. Every time, Saima or Raheel’s mother used entered the room, I asked them about Niladri. But there was no news of Niladri. My heart started to thump faster with each passing hour.
#
In the afternoon, when Saima came to me I asked her that I want to make a call. I wanted to call Maithili and inform her about my situation.
“Hello, Churni” My voice was shaking terribly.
She smelled my distress---“What happened?”
Somehow, I narrated the whole incident. She was shell shocked to know all those. She asked Subroto Da to come to Kulti to bring me back.
I wailed to her---“Please take me home, Churni.”
She persuaded me---“Please, stop crying and be strong. Everything will be alright. Your brother is coming to get you. How is your health? Everything ok?”
---“Yes, I am fine till now. But I am feeling very uneasy since morning.”
---“That’s all because of tiredness. Where are your belongings? What about those papers and certificates and all?”
In that hurry, I forgot to bring all those important documents with me. I shivered in grief---“I don’t have those. They are in Dhanbad.”
Her voice sounded in sheer dismay---“Insane girl. You should have brought those along with you.”
---“But all happened like a thunder. I was unable to understand for a long time that what all was happening to me. I was not even in myself, Churni.”
---“Ok, ok, ok…. Try to keep cool and return to me in one piece, Paree.”
I sobbed out---“How is Nilanjana?”
She laughed---“She is fine, waiting for her aunt to sing her a lullaby.”
I could not control my tears---“I love you Churni. Please get me out of this.”
---“Keep calm; Paree. Who is with you, give the phone to that person.”
I handed the phone to Saima, the spoke for some time.
Saima consoled me---“Your brothers are coming, Apa. Please take some rest, at least for the sake of your child, Apa. Everything will be alright.”
#
How could I keep myself out of those revulsions? I caressed my womb over my dress; my baby was sleeping deep inside me. I shed few drops of tears.
In the evening Saima informed me that my brother’s have started from my native place and were coming to get me. I felt huge relieve, I thanked her profusely from the abyss of my soul.
#
It was late evening, Raheel and Saima entered in my room. I got suspicious from the look of their face. My heart quailed; I soft groan bellowed out from my chest---“Where is Niladri?”
They shook their head and ushered Subroto Da and Shasanko Da into the room. I could not control my happiness as I saw them. I threw my arms around Subroto Da, hugged him with all my strength, and broke in tears. I felt like having the sky in my embrace when I saw my brothers. A huge
---“Please take me home.”
---“Ok, ok. We will go now. Keep quiet.”
---“No, just take me home.”
Raheel said to Shasanko Da---“Take rest tonight, tomorrow morning I will take you to Asansol. From there you can board train.”
Shasanko Da asked me about what all happened; I told him the whole story. He was furious upon hearing the whole episode.
---“I was helpless Dada, what could I do except taking my life?”
He was burning in anger; he said that he would file a security officer complaint against my in-laws. I could not think of anything at that time. I was agitated at the same time I was very fidgety about Niladri. “What could happen to him? I do not want anyone to be in grave for me.”
#
Saima and Raheel’s mother took utmost care of me. I was flattered by their hospitality. Every time she soothed my head, it reminded me of my mother and ChotoMa. Both loved me; however, their expression of love was different. ChotoMa was truly a mother figure to me, but her snobbery took away the happiness from my life and made me doomed for life. I cursed her that time for my doomed life. I kept of lamenting on my doomed fate. No words could soothe my demolished mental condition. Saima kept on consoling me that nothing would happen to Niladri or me. But an unknown jitter engulfed my soul that something might have happened to him, else he would contacted Raheel.
#
I spoke to Maithili; she was the only person in the whole world who stood as pillar for my battered life.
---“Your brother’s are with you, so why are you crying?”
I could not hide my distress from her, my voice trembled---“Niladri!!!!......”
---“Nothing will happen to him, he is old enough to look after himself.”
---“But you don’t know my father-in-law, he is dangerous, and what about Pallavi?”
---“Keep calm, Paree. I assure you that nothing is going to happen to them.”
I screamed at her---“How can you be so sure?”
She was well aware of my writhing heart---“I know that, simple enough. Take care of yourself. Too much of tension will put too much stress on you and your child.”
#
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