12-02-2020, 12:57 PM
Chapter 10: Flutter of Wings
--------------------------------
My relatives were numbered. ChotoMa and Babu arrived on the mourning ceremony day. We met for the first time after my miscarriage. She asked me as what I would do. I gave a blank look at her and asked her as why she was asking me such meaningless queries.
She told me that she wanted me to return to Kolkata with her---“Please ShonaMa, come back.”
I gave a pale look at her and answered---“You have come to take me back when I have lost everything in my life?”
She shook her head in intense agony---“I squandered off. I realize now, ShonaMa. My son never called me back. I don’t know where he is, I don’t know how he is.”
---“So you want to take me back because you have lost your son.”
She pleaded to me---“Please don’t make me feel guilty, I know I tried to separate you two and I see the outcome. Even in my worst nightmare I did not fathomed that the lives would be devastated like this.”
I could not control myself anymore---“Why have you come? You have made me hexed after you took away my life from me. Before that, I was a lively girl, ChotoMa. I used to be happy; I used to laugh. Now see, I have forgotten what smile is, I have forgotten what love feels like. See, what you have done to my life.”
She shook her head and guilt was dripping from her eyes.
She took my hand in hers---“You are grown up, ShonaMa…”
---“Yes I am, I was then also, when you took away everything from our life.”
Maithili was nearby with her cute little Nilanjana. Her baby was looking at me with her small eyes, probably trying to understand the harsh detrimental world around her. Subroto Da took Nilanjana in his lap and Maithili came near ChotoMa and sat beside her.
ChotoMa was at her wits end, she apprehended from her look that Maithili was not happy. She gave a helpless pleading look at Maithili. However, my sister-in-law was in no mood to control her angst.
She spoke in a fiery yet cold voice---“Ulupi Di, Paree is coming with me. You do not have to worry about her.”
I observed from ChotoMa’s facial contours that her heart broke with those bitter words from Maithili.
---“You have lost the right, Ulupi Di. The woman who stood for Paree, eight years back during my wedding has not changed in all these years. That day you showed your ego and stern nature. The same nature took away my precious sister-in-law away. You have lost the right Ulupi Di.”
The look that ChotoMa gave to Maithili, clearly suggested that she had lost her words.
I consoled ChotoMa---“Please leave me to my fate. I do not want anyone to shed more tears for me. Let me see what all happens here. I would like to go back to my native place and try to start a new life with my child.”
Our conversation ended in a cold note. ChotoMa and Babu returned on that day. Before they went away they requested my in-laws to take care of me, those came out from the corner of their bleeding heart. They truly loved me, but my anger deterred me to bow down before them on that day.
#
After few days, my sister-in-laws, Meghna and Maithili wanted to take me back. My mother-in-law told them that she would send me back after few months. I felt like breathing fresh air again in my lungs. They left contented and I relied on their words that at last I was going to be free from the clutch of that dark world around.
#
The tiny nucleus was taking shape deep inside my womb. I was in my first trimester. Demise of Himadri did not perturb me much as there was no steady relation between our souls. The only thought that harboured in my soul was about my unborn angel. I had to keep him safe and give birth to that tiny sapling to this world.
#
During night, the thirty-second invisible letter started to haunt me again. Whenever I used to close my eyes, I used to find him standing in front of me with outstretched arms beckoning me to his embrace. I used to sob and soak the pillow in the silent night. How could I meet him, I was a demolished woman then. I could not dream of him properly. He would be unaware of all the facts that made me to marry and what would be going inside his mind. Three long years had passed, he would have probably started a new life on his own and it would not be appropriate to harm another ones peaceful nest. However, he engulfed my blank soul time and again with his tearful eyes and invisible envelop.
#
--------------------------------
My relatives were numbered. ChotoMa and Babu arrived on the mourning ceremony day. We met for the first time after my miscarriage. She asked me as what I would do. I gave a blank look at her and asked her as why she was asking me such meaningless queries.
She told me that she wanted me to return to Kolkata with her---“Please ShonaMa, come back.”
I gave a pale look at her and answered---“You have come to take me back when I have lost everything in my life?”
She shook her head in intense agony---“I squandered off. I realize now, ShonaMa. My son never called me back. I don’t know where he is, I don’t know how he is.”
---“So you want to take me back because you have lost your son.”
She pleaded to me---“Please don’t make me feel guilty, I know I tried to separate you two and I see the outcome. Even in my worst nightmare I did not fathomed that the lives would be devastated like this.”
I could not control myself anymore---“Why have you come? You have made me hexed after you took away my life from me. Before that, I was a lively girl, ChotoMa. I used to be happy; I used to laugh. Now see, I have forgotten what smile is, I have forgotten what love feels like. See, what you have done to my life.”
She shook her head and guilt was dripping from her eyes.
She took my hand in hers---“You are grown up, ShonaMa…”
---“Yes I am, I was then also, when you took away everything from our life.”
Maithili was nearby with her cute little Nilanjana. Her baby was looking at me with her small eyes, probably trying to understand the harsh detrimental world around her. Subroto Da took Nilanjana in his lap and Maithili came near ChotoMa and sat beside her.
ChotoMa was at her wits end, she apprehended from her look that Maithili was not happy. She gave a helpless pleading look at Maithili. However, my sister-in-law was in no mood to control her angst.
She spoke in a fiery yet cold voice---“Ulupi Di, Paree is coming with me. You do not have to worry about her.”
I observed from ChotoMa’s facial contours that her heart broke with those bitter words from Maithili.
---“You have lost the right, Ulupi Di. The woman who stood for Paree, eight years back during my wedding has not changed in all these years. That day you showed your ego and stern nature. The same nature took away my precious sister-in-law away. You have lost the right Ulupi Di.”
The look that ChotoMa gave to Maithili, clearly suggested that she had lost her words.
I consoled ChotoMa---“Please leave me to my fate. I do not want anyone to shed more tears for me. Let me see what all happens here. I would like to go back to my native place and try to start a new life with my child.”
Our conversation ended in a cold note. ChotoMa and Babu returned on that day. Before they went away they requested my in-laws to take care of me, those came out from the corner of their bleeding heart. They truly loved me, but my anger deterred me to bow down before them on that day.
#
After few days, my sister-in-laws, Meghna and Maithili wanted to take me back. My mother-in-law told them that she would send me back after few months. I felt like breathing fresh air again in my lungs. They left contented and I relied on their words that at last I was going to be free from the clutch of that dark world around.
#
The tiny nucleus was taking shape deep inside my womb. I was in my first trimester. Demise of Himadri did not perturb me much as there was no steady relation between our souls. The only thought that harboured in my soul was about my unborn angel. I had to keep him safe and give birth to that tiny sapling to this world.
#
During night, the thirty-second invisible letter started to haunt me again. Whenever I used to close my eyes, I used to find him standing in front of me with outstretched arms beckoning me to his embrace. I used to sob and soak the pillow in the silent night. How could I meet him, I was a demolished woman then. I could not dream of him properly. He would be unaware of all the facts that made me to marry and what would be going inside his mind. Three long years had passed, he would have probably started a new life on his own and it would not be appropriate to harm another ones peaceful nest. However, he engulfed my blank soul time and again with his tearful eyes and invisible envelop.
#
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