12-02-2020, 12:51 PM
By then end of December, the chill winds captivated my mind and soul. At times, I felt nauseated. At first, I thought that it was due to my ill health and psychological trauma.
However, the week I missed my MP, it was evident that the seed was planted. No one touched me before that dark night; no one touched me after that even. I was carrying my angel in my womb. My precious angel was taking shape deep inside me.
Day by day, with every passing moment, my hopes rekindled of filling my heart of being a mother.
#
I called my beloved Churni to break the news. She was very much surprised and she was unable to understand as how that happened. She knew about our relation, so she coaxed me to tell her the truth. With great pain and angst, I narrated the dark night to her. Her voice was burning, she asked me to return to her. She said that she would talk to Subroto Da and file for a case. I was living in some unknown fear that Himadri could harm my baby, so I requested Churni to be patient.
#
I was pale and all pains were dripping from my face. My mother-in-law noticed that. She asked me about my health. I broke the news with her that I was expecting. She was very happy, my father-in-law was also happy.
That evening, when my mother-in-law informed about my pregnancy to Himadri, he gave a bewildered look at me as if asking, “Is that my son?” I could not stand his filthy look. I slowly grinded my jaws and gave a vengeful look at him. That night before retiring, he asked me as to whom all I had informed about that incident. I said him that I did not mentioned about that night to anyone, but I was sure that he was not convinced. He made up by his own that, I had told Niladri and Maithili about that night. I did not try to make myself clear at that point of time, as it felt meaningless to me.
#
After few weeks, Himadri came home as a total different person. He was very tired, he came home earlier than usual. I was in the kitchen; he came directly into the kitchen. I was taken aback by his actions. He never stepped in the kitchen in past years. I looked at him over my shoulder; he gave a pleaded look at me. I was not in a position to forgive him or forget about that incident. I was very angry upon him the way he looked at me. There was only pain and revenge in my heart.
His voice trembled---“I need to talk to you, Suchi.”
His voice burnt in my ears. With a deep and calm voice, I asked him---“Is there anything left between us to talk about?”
He came near me and bends his head as if asking my forgiveness. He nodded his head gently “Yes”
---“What do you have in your mind? You betrayed me, you mauled me killed my soul. I am living as a corpse. What more do you want from me?”
He spoke in a pleading voice---“I want you back, Suchi. I want my old, Suchi and I will do anything for that.”
“Why? Is that because your girlfriend has deceived you again, that you came back to me?” I never came to know the truth, as I never asked him that question.
I looked at him with pain and tearful eyes---“We have nothing in common. We must walk separate paths, it will be better for both of us.”
He shook his head---“NO, Please, one time.”
I shook my head in dismay---“Please, I have nothing to say anything to you. I want to be alone.”
He clenched his fist and brought his face near mine---“I won’t let you go till my child is born.”
His last words seemed that he was acting. He tried to convince me but when he felt that I was adamant in my words, he threatened me.
Both my parent-in-laws told me that they wanted to take care of mine during childbirth. They were also very disturbed after my last miscarriage so they took extra care of mine.
#
Himadri was back to his old nature as usual; my mother-in-law also felt the numb feeling that was running between us. She asked me one day as what had happened. I made some lame excuse to avert her queries.
#
However, the week I missed my MP, it was evident that the seed was planted. No one touched me before that dark night; no one touched me after that even. I was carrying my angel in my womb. My precious angel was taking shape deep inside me.
Day by day, with every passing moment, my hopes rekindled of filling my heart of being a mother.
#
I called my beloved Churni to break the news. She was very much surprised and she was unable to understand as how that happened. She knew about our relation, so she coaxed me to tell her the truth. With great pain and angst, I narrated the dark night to her. Her voice was burning, she asked me to return to her. She said that she would talk to Subroto Da and file for a case. I was living in some unknown fear that Himadri could harm my baby, so I requested Churni to be patient.
#
I was pale and all pains were dripping from my face. My mother-in-law noticed that. She asked me about my health. I broke the news with her that I was expecting. She was very happy, my father-in-law was also happy.
That evening, when my mother-in-law informed about my pregnancy to Himadri, he gave a bewildered look at me as if asking, “Is that my son?” I could not stand his filthy look. I slowly grinded my jaws and gave a vengeful look at him. That night before retiring, he asked me as to whom all I had informed about that incident. I said him that I did not mentioned about that night to anyone, but I was sure that he was not convinced. He made up by his own that, I had told Niladri and Maithili about that night. I did not try to make myself clear at that point of time, as it felt meaningless to me.
#
After few weeks, Himadri came home as a total different person. He was very tired, he came home earlier than usual. I was in the kitchen; he came directly into the kitchen. I was taken aback by his actions. He never stepped in the kitchen in past years. I looked at him over my shoulder; he gave a pleaded look at me. I was not in a position to forgive him or forget about that incident. I was very angry upon him the way he looked at me. There was only pain and revenge in my heart.
His voice trembled---“I need to talk to you, Suchi.”
His voice burnt in my ears. With a deep and calm voice, I asked him---“Is there anything left between us to talk about?”
He came near me and bends his head as if asking my forgiveness. He nodded his head gently “Yes”
---“What do you have in your mind? You betrayed me, you mauled me killed my soul. I am living as a corpse. What more do you want from me?”
He spoke in a pleading voice---“I want you back, Suchi. I want my old, Suchi and I will do anything for that.”
“Why? Is that because your girlfriend has deceived you again, that you came back to me?” I never came to know the truth, as I never asked him that question.
I looked at him with pain and tearful eyes---“We have nothing in common. We must walk separate paths, it will be better for both of us.”
He shook his head---“NO, Please, one time.”
I shook my head in dismay---“Please, I have nothing to say anything to you. I want to be alone.”
He clenched his fist and brought his face near mine---“I won’t let you go till my child is born.”
His last words seemed that he was acting. He tried to convince me but when he felt that I was adamant in my words, he threatened me.
Both my parent-in-laws told me that they wanted to take care of mine during childbirth. They were also very disturbed after my last miscarriage so they took extra care of mine.
#
Himadri was back to his old nature as usual; my mother-in-law also felt the numb feeling that was running between us. She asked me one day as what had happened. I made some lame excuse to avert her queries.
#
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