12-02-2020, 12:48 PM
Chapter 9: White Cessation
--------------------------------
After that night, I was demolished down to the earth. I could not look in my face in mirror. Each time I tried to face myself, I found a battered soul looking at me with jittery look. Himadri threatened me with dire consequence if I would utter a single word about that malicious incident with anyone. I lost my voice.
#
After that day, Himadri used to sleep on the bed, I used to curl up on the floor. For the exterior world, we were still married as a husband and wife. I felt that it was better to be a caged princess in an ivory cage. My heart cried for my ChotoMa. I wanted to meet her for one last time and ask her why she did this to me; I loved her most after my own mother. However every time I tried to call her, Abhimanyu’s white envelop came in front of my eyes. I lamented on my fate. I restrained myself from dialing her number.
#
One week, after that gruesome incident, Himadri asked me to resign from school. I did not have strength to fight with him. I submitted my resignation to the school and was caged in that brick walls forever. Niladri was very much surprised on my decision.
#
One afternoon, I was in my room, sitting silently with a blank mind and soul. Niladri knocked and entered my room. I gave a blank look on his face. He could not understand anything from my pale white face, bereft of any blood and soul.
He sat by my side on the bed---“Why have you resigned from school? That was your dream, Boudi. What on the earth has happened to you Boudi?”
I mumbled for words as what should I tell him. I looked in his eyes, which was full of compassion.
I felt ripples inside my chest and sobbed out---“I am finished, Niladri.”
He gently touched my shoulders, his compassionate touch melted my soul, tears started to flow endlessly from my painful eyes.
---“What happened, Boudi?”
My lips quivered but I could not utter a single word about what Himadri did with me.
---“You have talked to him, right. And after that you two had fight.”
I nodded my head “Yes”.
---“And what was his say about that?”
I shook my head gently “Nothing.”
He grinded his jaws together and boxed the bed to vent his anger---“I had some faith on my brother, but all are smashed. My dad is the main reason, he always preferred Dada to me. He was brilliant I was not. He was sent to ISM for engineering. I finished my graduation and asked Dad that I wanted to start my business, but he asked me to help him in his business. He climbed up the ladder of success and I drowned in the mud of goons and malignant web of this coal business.”
I saw the vengeance against his brother in his eyes.
His eyes were glistening my gaze was also hazy. He continued---“When you stepped in for the first time, I thought that everything will be alright.”
He shook his head in dismay---“Neither my dad nor my brother understood. Even my mom did not understand you. Only because she has no daughter so she acted as a strict mom-in-law. Boudi, enough is enough.”
---“NO, Niladri. You are not going to do anything like that.”
---“WHY?”
I gave a blank pale look to him and let out a deep exhale---“They are your own blood, family, Niladri. I am an outsider. I just want my life back.”
He shook his head---“But, Boudi you the most precious for me.”
I shook my head to express my helplessness and fear.
---“What do you want to do?”
I was out of my thoughts as what should I do? All those queries were painted on my pale face. Niladri read my face, my helplessness and he kept mum.
The winter on that year was too harsh on my mind and soul. Himadri acted that as if nothing happened between us. I was at my wits end as how can a beast behave like that even after diminishing me to such extent.
#
The ambience of the family gradually changed, especially the behaviour between two brothers. There was cold tension that prevailed between them. My in-laws were not aware of all those incidents so they never figured-out the reason of the coldness between two brothers.
#
--------------------------------
After that night, I was demolished down to the earth. I could not look in my face in mirror. Each time I tried to face myself, I found a battered soul looking at me with jittery look. Himadri threatened me with dire consequence if I would utter a single word about that malicious incident with anyone. I lost my voice.
#
After that day, Himadri used to sleep on the bed, I used to curl up on the floor. For the exterior world, we were still married as a husband and wife. I felt that it was better to be a caged princess in an ivory cage. My heart cried for my ChotoMa. I wanted to meet her for one last time and ask her why she did this to me; I loved her most after my own mother. However every time I tried to call her, Abhimanyu’s white envelop came in front of my eyes. I lamented on my fate. I restrained myself from dialing her number.
#
One week, after that gruesome incident, Himadri asked me to resign from school. I did not have strength to fight with him. I submitted my resignation to the school and was caged in that brick walls forever. Niladri was very much surprised on my decision.
#
One afternoon, I was in my room, sitting silently with a blank mind and soul. Niladri knocked and entered my room. I gave a blank look on his face. He could not understand anything from my pale white face, bereft of any blood and soul.
He sat by my side on the bed---“Why have you resigned from school? That was your dream, Boudi. What on the earth has happened to you Boudi?”
I mumbled for words as what should I tell him. I looked in his eyes, which was full of compassion.
I felt ripples inside my chest and sobbed out---“I am finished, Niladri.”
He gently touched my shoulders, his compassionate touch melted my soul, tears started to flow endlessly from my painful eyes.
---“What happened, Boudi?”
My lips quivered but I could not utter a single word about what Himadri did with me.
---“You have talked to him, right. And after that you two had fight.”
I nodded my head “Yes”.
---“And what was his say about that?”
I shook my head gently “Nothing.”
He grinded his jaws together and boxed the bed to vent his anger---“I had some faith on my brother, but all are smashed. My dad is the main reason, he always preferred Dada to me. He was brilliant I was not. He was sent to ISM for engineering. I finished my graduation and asked Dad that I wanted to start my business, but he asked me to help him in his business. He climbed up the ladder of success and I drowned in the mud of goons and malignant web of this coal business.”
I saw the vengeance against his brother in his eyes.
His eyes were glistening my gaze was also hazy. He continued---“When you stepped in for the first time, I thought that everything will be alright.”
He shook his head in dismay---“Neither my dad nor my brother understood. Even my mom did not understand you. Only because she has no daughter so she acted as a strict mom-in-law. Boudi, enough is enough.”
---“NO, Niladri. You are not going to do anything like that.”
---“WHY?”
I gave a blank pale look to him and let out a deep exhale---“They are your own blood, family, Niladri. I am an outsider. I just want my life back.”
He shook his head---“But, Boudi you the most precious for me.”
I shook my head to express my helplessness and fear.
---“What do you want to do?”
I was out of my thoughts as what should I do? All those queries were painted on my pale face. Niladri read my face, my helplessness and he kept mum.
The winter on that year was too harsh on my mind and soul. Himadri acted that as if nothing happened between us. I was at my wits end as how can a beast behave like that even after diminishing me to such extent.
#
The ambience of the family gradually changed, especially the behaviour between two brothers. There was cold tension that prevailed between them. My in-laws were not aware of all those incidents so they never figured-out the reason of the coldness between two brothers.
#
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