11-02-2020, 07:18 PM
For whole two days, I could not talk to anyone properly. Himadri called me few times; I had to feign my pains and talked with him very normally.
On the third day, I pulled up myself. I told to myself “I had to come out of this somehow and inform my baby prince. I will live the rest of my life as a corpse but he must not suffer.”
After a long time, I went inside the bathroom and sat under the shower. On the back of mind, it was running that I had an unborn verdure with me. I caressed my womb over my drenched gown and sobbed “My baby, for your sake only I will live.”
The cold water was unable to extinguish the impending anger in my mind and soul. I felt a soft rumble in my womb. My baby whispered to me “Please do not cry, Ma.”
#
I wiped my face and eyes, came out of the bathroom, and changed my dress.
I called Kalyani from my mobile. My voice was shaking horribly. I took a deep breath to control my agitation and covered that with cold steel.
She picked up the phone---“Hello! What a surprise. Where are you?”
Very calmly and in a very stern voice I spoke---“I am at ChotoMa’s house. How are you and Pubali?”
She sensed from my voice that something grave had happened.
She asked me---“We are doing well. Why are you sounding like that? What happened to you?”
That time my voice shook. I could not control myself anymore---“Kalyani, you have to do me a favour. A favour of life time.”
---“What are you talking about? I am unable to understand. Anything happened with in-laws or Himadri?”
I shook my head gently---“No.”
I took a deep breath to fill my lungs and then spoke---“Abhimanyu…..” I was unable to see anything in front of my eyes. It was all hazy.
She screamed out---“WHAT ABHIMANYU?”
---“From past thirty months, he wrote me letters. He wrote me thirty-one letters, till now. Thirty-second is in my hand.”
---“WHAT? How come you have not received all these?”
---“I am sure, ChotoMa and Babu has destroyed all those letters. By the grace of God or my ill-fate; the thirty-second letter is in my hand. He is waiting for me, Kalyani. He is coming back to India this December. He is going to call you. He knows very well that if he call here, he will not be able to talk to me and he will not get proper answer. He has written that he will talk to my mom and persuade her. He has written that he will ask for forgiveness from Maithili.”
She was dumbfounded on hearing all those---“What do you want me to do?”
I clenched my fist and spoke in shaky voice---“I don’t want to bring any turbulence in my marital life. Tell him I am married. Tell him that his Grand Aunt is no more in this world. Tell him his Paree has died. Tell him the truth that his parents burnt all those letters. Tell him that his parents miss him very much. Tell him not to wait for me anymore. I will not come back here again; I don’t have the strength or courage to stand before him.”
We both were silent for a long, long time. After a long painful silence, she spoke---“What about the diary?”
I was surprised to hear that that she had still kept that diary with her.
---“You have that with you still?”
---“Yes. How could I destroy that? It was not yours; it was not mine even. It was Abhimanyu’s. How could you think that I could destroy that diary?”
---“Return that to him. Kalyani.”
---“And…..”
---“And what, Kalyani? All these long, I consoled my heart that he ditched me. All this long I consoled my heart that he forgot me. Now, I feel like jumping in a fire, commit suicide. But my unborn child is calling me, Kalyani.”
I heard her sobbing from the other end. She consoled me---“Paree, we are mere puppet in the hands of fate and God.”
I screamed out---“NO, HE did not separate us. Don’t curse HIM.”
I let out a deep breath. I felt an infinite vacuum inside my chest---“I will be ok. Bye.”
I knew very well after I spoke those last words “I will be ok.” Life will not be same for me.
#
On the third day, I pulled up myself. I told to myself “I had to come out of this somehow and inform my baby prince. I will live the rest of my life as a corpse but he must not suffer.”
After a long time, I went inside the bathroom and sat under the shower. On the back of mind, it was running that I had an unborn verdure with me. I caressed my womb over my drenched gown and sobbed “My baby, for your sake only I will live.”
The cold water was unable to extinguish the impending anger in my mind and soul. I felt a soft rumble in my womb. My baby whispered to me “Please do not cry, Ma.”
#
I wiped my face and eyes, came out of the bathroom, and changed my dress.
I called Kalyani from my mobile. My voice was shaking horribly. I took a deep breath to control my agitation and covered that with cold steel.
She picked up the phone---“Hello! What a surprise. Where are you?”
Very calmly and in a very stern voice I spoke---“I am at ChotoMa’s house. How are you and Pubali?”
She sensed from my voice that something grave had happened.
She asked me---“We are doing well. Why are you sounding like that? What happened to you?”
That time my voice shook. I could not control myself anymore---“Kalyani, you have to do me a favour. A favour of life time.”
---“What are you talking about? I am unable to understand. Anything happened with in-laws or Himadri?”
I shook my head gently---“No.”
I took a deep breath to fill my lungs and then spoke---“Abhimanyu…..” I was unable to see anything in front of my eyes. It was all hazy.
She screamed out---“WHAT ABHIMANYU?”
---“From past thirty months, he wrote me letters. He wrote me thirty-one letters, till now. Thirty-second is in my hand.”
---“WHAT? How come you have not received all these?”
---“I am sure, ChotoMa and Babu has destroyed all those letters. By the grace of God or my ill-fate; the thirty-second letter is in my hand. He is waiting for me, Kalyani. He is coming back to India this December. He is going to call you. He knows very well that if he call here, he will not be able to talk to me and he will not get proper answer. He has written that he will talk to my mom and persuade her. He has written that he will ask for forgiveness from Maithili.”
She was dumbfounded on hearing all those---“What do you want me to do?”
I clenched my fist and spoke in shaky voice---“I don’t want to bring any turbulence in my marital life. Tell him I am married. Tell him that his Grand Aunt is no more in this world. Tell him his Paree has died. Tell him the truth that his parents burnt all those letters. Tell him that his parents miss him very much. Tell him not to wait for me anymore. I will not come back here again; I don’t have the strength or courage to stand before him.”
We both were silent for a long, long time. After a long painful silence, she spoke---“What about the diary?”
I was surprised to hear that that she had still kept that diary with her.
---“You have that with you still?”
---“Yes. How could I destroy that? It was not yours; it was not mine even. It was Abhimanyu’s. How could you think that I could destroy that diary?”
---“Return that to him. Kalyani.”
---“And…..”
---“And what, Kalyani? All these long, I consoled my heart that he ditched me. All this long I consoled my heart that he forgot me. Now, I feel like jumping in a fire, commit suicide. But my unborn child is calling me, Kalyani.”
I heard her sobbing from the other end. She consoled me---“Paree, we are mere puppet in the hands of fate and God.”
I screamed out---“NO, HE did not separate us. Don’t curse HIM.”
I let out a deep breath. I felt an infinite vacuum inside my chest---“I will be ok. Bye.”
I knew very well after I spoke those last words “I will be ok.” Life will not be same for me.
#
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