11-02-2020, 07:16 PM
“My eve.
The fairy of my dreams,
This is the thirty-second letter I am writing to you.
By now, you must be teaching in some school or college.
I know by my heart that you are still the same.
I miss you very much every day, every hour, every second. One thousand one hundred days have passed. However, when I write these letters to you, I know that your silence is my strength that kept me alive for so long. Your small silk handkerchief still smells your jasmine fragrance. Your Jasmine fragrance blew the fire in my life and kept me alive.
I am currently in Brazil. I have been promoted to a senior technician. I am returning to India in last week of December.
I will kneel before Maithili and beg her to forgive me.
I will talk to Grand Aunt and will persuade her. I will ask her for her doll, for my fairy. I am sure; she will sympathize us more than my mother. I have prepared myself to crush her ego and her arrogance. This time, I am not going to ask her for your hand. This time, I will earn you with every drop of blood in my veins.
I will call Kalyani once I reach India.
My sweet kisses, on your beautiful forehead, where I first kissed.
Keep a smiling eye on the door. Your thief can knock in anytime.”
A huge turbulent swell suddenly culminated inside my chest. I took a deep breath and bit my lower lips to control that wave from crashing on the shore of my heart and mind. Nevertheless, that wave was far stronger than my strength. I pressed the paper on my chest and threw my head back.
I closed my eyes and clenched my jaws and cried out “NO…. this cannot be possible”.
I could not believe what I saw in front of my sniveled eyes. He was standing there in front of me. I shook my head violently “GO AWAY, GO AWAY.”
It was not tear drops, it was blood, which was gushing out through my eyes and ears and nose. My head was on the verge of explosion. I felt the veins of my head and neck could rupture anytime.
I clenched my fist and banged my forehead. “What have I done? Why I lost the faith in you?”
I kept on reading those invisible words repeatedly. Even if I was Mrs. Suchismita Karmakar, I kissed and smelled the envelope. I tried hard to press the piece of paper with my chest so that it could dissolve with the drops of blood in my veins. I tried to feel his warm touch through that piece of paper on my bosom.
I crept on the bed and cried out loudly thumping my head on the pillow. There was no one to hear and understand my pain. I could not close my eyes. Whenever I closed my eyes, I felt that he was there in front of smiling.
I got hurled into a deep dark oblivion of pain and vacuous. I crept in my shell of destitute and sorrow. Every pores of my skin was cursing ChotoMa and me. I was unable to sleep, I was unable to take my food, and I was unable to find myself in a normal condition. I was so much depressed that my health started to deteriorate. I could not come into terms with the naked truth that those persons, whom we adored most in this whole world, betrayed us both. For Abhimanyu they were his parents and for me ChotoMa.
The pains were evident and it showed all over my face. ChotoMa kept on asking me as what had happened. I could not mutter any word. I felt like stabbing my heart whenever she talked to me. I kept myself aloof from the whole world, in my room for two long days. ChotoMa and Babu were very much agitated with my behavior. They were at their wits end. They were unable to understand as what could have happened to me. They kept me asking whether I had a fight with Himadri or not. With every question, I only shook my head like a vengeful idol. They even could not fathom my rage and pain from my bloodied eyes. My ears burnt every moment; I looked at the bed, the bookshelf, the table. All were his; he was shifted to the second floor so that I could come in his life.
All I could think was that “Abhimanyu never left my side. He was always there with me. Only our fate, which was all due to ChotoMa, not even it was God’s wish to separate us.”
#
The fairy of my dreams,
This is the thirty-second letter I am writing to you.
By now, you must be teaching in some school or college.
I know by my heart that you are still the same.
I miss you very much every day, every hour, every second. One thousand one hundred days have passed. However, when I write these letters to you, I know that your silence is my strength that kept me alive for so long. Your small silk handkerchief still smells your jasmine fragrance. Your Jasmine fragrance blew the fire in my life and kept me alive.
I am currently in Brazil. I have been promoted to a senior technician. I am returning to India in last week of December.
I will kneel before Maithili and beg her to forgive me.
I will talk to Grand Aunt and will persuade her. I will ask her for her doll, for my fairy. I am sure; she will sympathize us more than my mother. I have prepared myself to crush her ego and her arrogance. This time, I am not going to ask her for your hand. This time, I will earn you with every drop of blood in my veins.
I will call Kalyani once I reach India.
My sweet kisses, on your beautiful forehead, where I first kissed.
Keep a smiling eye on the door. Your thief can knock in anytime.”
***********************
A huge turbulent swell suddenly culminated inside my chest. I took a deep breath and bit my lower lips to control that wave from crashing on the shore of my heart and mind. Nevertheless, that wave was far stronger than my strength. I pressed the paper on my chest and threw my head back.
I closed my eyes and clenched my jaws and cried out “NO…. this cannot be possible”.
I could not believe what I saw in front of my sniveled eyes. He was standing there in front of me. I shook my head violently “GO AWAY, GO AWAY.”
It was not tear drops, it was blood, which was gushing out through my eyes and ears and nose. My head was on the verge of explosion. I felt the veins of my head and neck could rupture anytime.
I clenched my fist and banged my forehead. “What have I done? Why I lost the faith in you?”
I kept on reading those invisible words repeatedly. Even if I was Mrs. Suchismita Karmakar, I kissed and smelled the envelope. I tried hard to press the piece of paper with my chest so that it could dissolve with the drops of blood in my veins. I tried to feel his warm touch through that piece of paper on my bosom.
I crept on the bed and cried out loudly thumping my head on the pillow. There was no one to hear and understand my pain. I could not close my eyes. Whenever I closed my eyes, I felt that he was there in front of smiling.
I got hurled into a deep dark oblivion of pain and vacuous. I crept in my shell of destitute and sorrow. Every pores of my skin was cursing ChotoMa and me. I was unable to sleep, I was unable to take my food, and I was unable to find myself in a normal condition. I was so much depressed that my health started to deteriorate. I could not come into terms with the naked truth that those persons, whom we adored most in this whole world, betrayed us both. For Abhimanyu they were his parents and for me ChotoMa.
The pains were evident and it showed all over my face. ChotoMa kept on asking me as what had happened. I could not mutter any word. I felt like stabbing my heart whenever she talked to me. I kept myself aloof from the whole world, in my room for two long days. ChotoMa and Babu were very much agitated with my behavior. They were at their wits end. They were unable to understand as what could have happened to me. They kept me asking whether I had a fight with Himadri or not. With every question, I only shook my head like a vengeful idol. They even could not fathom my rage and pain from my bloodied eyes. My ears burnt every moment; I looked at the bed, the bookshelf, the table. All were his; he was shifted to the second floor so that I could come in his life.
All I could think was that “Abhimanyu never left my side. He was always there with me. Only our fate, which was all due to ChotoMa, not even it was God’s wish to separate us.”
#
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