11-02-2020, 01:54 PM
My eyes searched for my eldest brother. He was nowhere. I asked Maithili as where he was. She told me that Sumanto Da has gone away, his train was at that night. He did not even waited for the rituals of his youngest sister’s marriage to get completed. Did he sensed the actual truth of his little cute sister’s heart? I would never know the reason why he left.
Dipankar came to me.
I asked him---“How is Kalyani?”
“Do you want to talk to her?” he called Kalyani and handed me the mobile. I was unable to speak.
My chest rumbled, it shook like a small twig---“How are you?”
She heard the silent sobs from the receiver and she said---“Keep the phone. I won’t talk to you again.”
I gently wiped the corner of my eyes and handed the phone to Dipankar. I told to myself “I am helpless, Kalyani.”
##
I wanted to stop the time forever, but alas, time and tide waits for none.
The night was getting darker.
ChotoMa came to me and said---“ShonaMa, time has come.”
She called Shasanko Da and Subroto Da to carry me on the wooden plank to the ritual place. Debobroto and Danish was on front two corners of the wooden plank. My brothers were on other corners. They made me sat on the wooden plank and carried me to the place, where Himadri was standing.
A huge rumble rose in the whole hall as the bride approached. All the noise were very disturbing for me. Even after that I had to keep smiling like a Japanese doll.
I garlanded him and then he garlanded me. I looked in his eyes. His eyes were flashing with some victorious smile. I could not hide my smile on seeing his face. I smiled back.
##
I saw Babu sitting at the main ritual place, along with the priests. He sat there to perform my “Kanyadan”. Since morning I have not seen him near me. I looked at him before sitting opposite to Himadri, in front of the brass “kalash”. He silently wiped the corner of his eyes as he handed my right hand on Himadri’s left.
The priests were reading the shlokas and hymns of marriage. Everything sounded very mechanical to my ears.
The rituals went on. Maithili tied the loose end of my red Benarasi saree with the white Dhuti of Himadri.
##
Then the decisive moment arrived. I had to take the seven steps along with Himadri. I closed my eyes before getting up from my seat. Looked at ChotoMa and Maithili. They both smiled at me and gently nodded their head. With each step, I felt my past was burning in that flame.
After it was complete, Himadri dipped his ring in the small round container of red vermillion and smeared that on my centre part of hairdo.
The ring first touched my forehead and was rubbed till few inches upward. Forehead, the place he kissed was then graced with some other persons red vermillion. I never dreamt of that. Not a single speck of red vermillion fell on my nose. It was a lovely superstition that if the specks of red vermillion powder touches the nose tip of the bride, then the groom loves her very much.
Everyone in the crowd asked me to tilt my head so that few specks at least could drop on my nose tip. I laughed at them and gently bent my head forward, even after that, not a single speck dropped on my nose tip.
Maithili shouted to all persons over there---“Enough. She need not to shake her head like a cow.” Every person present there, thought that she was concerned about my tiredness of the long ritual. Only I knew, she was trying her level best to guard me from any type of pain. But she was also bounded by fate and who would hear her cry?
A solitary drop of aqua brewed in corner of my left eye. I stealthy wiped that drop. That drop of aqua was a mixture of pain and fear, angst and anonymity, vacuum and dark.
I asked my heart---“Am I happy? I don’t know. I am doing my duty to repay my debts of my foster parents.”
I bolted every bit of my dark past inside a box and threw it into the abyss of the ocean.
##
“Paree” was burning in the flames in front of me. “Mita” just left my side. It was “Suchi” who sat there in front of the sacrament flames with blank expressionless eyes and fake glimmer on the face.
______________________________
Dipankar came to me.
I asked him---“How is Kalyani?”
“Do you want to talk to her?” he called Kalyani and handed me the mobile. I was unable to speak.
My chest rumbled, it shook like a small twig---“How are you?”
She heard the silent sobs from the receiver and she said---“Keep the phone. I won’t talk to you again.”
I gently wiped the corner of my eyes and handed the phone to Dipankar. I told to myself “I am helpless, Kalyani.”
##
I wanted to stop the time forever, but alas, time and tide waits for none.
The night was getting darker.
ChotoMa came to me and said---“ShonaMa, time has come.”
She called Shasanko Da and Subroto Da to carry me on the wooden plank to the ritual place. Debobroto and Danish was on front two corners of the wooden plank. My brothers were on other corners. They made me sat on the wooden plank and carried me to the place, where Himadri was standing.
A huge rumble rose in the whole hall as the bride approached. All the noise were very disturbing for me. Even after that I had to keep smiling like a Japanese doll.
I garlanded him and then he garlanded me. I looked in his eyes. His eyes were flashing with some victorious smile. I could not hide my smile on seeing his face. I smiled back.
##
I saw Babu sitting at the main ritual place, along with the priests. He sat there to perform my “Kanyadan”. Since morning I have not seen him near me. I looked at him before sitting opposite to Himadri, in front of the brass “kalash”. He silently wiped the corner of his eyes as he handed my right hand on Himadri’s left.
The priests were reading the shlokas and hymns of marriage. Everything sounded very mechanical to my ears.
The rituals went on. Maithili tied the loose end of my red Benarasi saree with the white Dhuti of Himadri.
##
Then the decisive moment arrived. I had to take the seven steps along with Himadri. I closed my eyes before getting up from my seat. Looked at ChotoMa and Maithili. They both smiled at me and gently nodded their head. With each step, I felt my past was burning in that flame.
After it was complete, Himadri dipped his ring in the small round container of red vermillion and smeared that on my centre part of hairdo.
The ring first touched my forehead and was rubbed till few inches upward. Forehead, the place he kissed was then graced with some other persons red vermillion. I never dreamt of that. Not a single speck of red vermillion fell on my nose. It was a lovely superstition that if the specks of red vermillion powder touches the nose tip of the bride, then the groom loves her very much.
Everyone in the crowd asked me to tilt my head so that few specks at least could drop on my nose tip. I laughed at them and gently bent my head forward, even after that, not a single speck dropped on my nose tip.
Maithili shouted to all persons over there---“Enough. She need not to shake her head like a cow.” Every person present there, thought that she was concerned about my tiredness of the long ritual. Only I knew, she was trying her level best to guard me from any type of pain. But she was also bounded by fate and who would hear her cry?
A solitary drop of aqua brewed in corner of my left eye. I stealthy wiped that drop. That drop of aqua was a mixture of pain and fear, angst and anonymity, vacuum and dark.
I asked my heart---“Am I happy? I don’t know. I am doing my duty to repay my debts of my foster parents.”
I bolted every bit of my dark past inside a box and threw it into the abyss of the ocean.
##
“Paree” was burning in the flames in front of me. “Mita” just left my side. It was “Suchi” who sat there in front of the sacrament flames with blank expressionless eyes and fake glimmer on the face.
______________________________
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