11-02-2020, 12:27 PM
After few days, I gave a letter to Debobroto addressed to Suprotim Da. In that letter I wrote to Suprotim Da, asking about my heartbeat’s whereabouts and to keep faith in me.
I was happy for another reason also; ChotoMa promised me that she would present me a cell-phone. But no one talked about the cell-phone in the house. The dinner table conversation and all others
were very normal. No one talked about buying me a cell-phone. I was skeptical about the cell-phone after few days.
##
The Christmas arrived. On the morning of Christmas as I woke up I found that ChotoMa and Babu, as usual they were early birds, so they were sipping tea in the drawing room.
When I came out of the bathroom after getting fresh, I found a gift pack on my bed.
I was very happy as I opened the pack and found a Nokia handset model 3330. I sensed my freedom through that phone.
I ran to drawing room and thanked ChotoMa and Babu.
She smiled at me and said---“Happy now?”
My face was beaming with a smile of thousand volts---“Very happy.”
“But there is a caution….” She said to me. And I was expecting that.
She said to me---“Promise me, that you will not do anything that will stoop down our faces in front of the society.”
All the glimmers were just gone by that single sentence. I walked silently to my room without answering her.
She came behind me---“What? I have not got your answer yet.”
I clutched the phone in one hand and with another I hold the chair. My back was turned towards her so she was unaware of my facial expression. I controlled myself and nodded my head. I also knew
by heart that I was lying to them as they lied to him.
She was happy as she observed me nodding my head but same time was skeptical about my future reactions.
Anyway, after she left my room, I thought of him and a way to call him.
I thought hard as whom to make the first call. If I knew his number then surely it would be him, but alas I didn’t have his contact number and neither had I known his whereabouts.
After dinner I retired to my room and then I thought to make my first call. I was alone in my room and the door was locked from inside.
I called Suprotim Da’s house. It was about eleven o’clock in the night. The phone bell rang for few minutes. I thought “Probably they have slept”. I was about to disconnect the phone when someone
answered. It was lady’s voice and I recognized that would be Suprotim Da’s mother.
---“Hello, who is this?”
---“Suchismita, I am a friend of Suprotim Da’s friend from Kolkata.”
She recognized my voice---“Oh! Yes, yes I remember. You came to my house. How are you?”
My heart danced. I was able to see the dawn on the horizon. The red sun was rising from east.
---“Can I talk to Suprotim Da?”
She paused for few Moments---“Suprotim is not in Delhi. After their marriage they have shifted to Bangalore.”
I let out a deep exhale, but I didn’t lose my hope. I thought “Should I ask her about him or not?”
---“Can I get his mobile number?”
She gave me his mobile number.
I asked her at last---“Do you have any news of Abhimanyu?” After a long time, probably after one hundred and fifty days I pronounced his full name from my lips. My heart was thumping very fast to
hear his news.
---“Hmmmm…. He came two weeks ago. He was ok.”
I saw the sun rising from the horizon---“Can I get his contact number?”
She paused for a Moment and said---“Am actually not sure whether he is still in New Delhi or not.”
I couldn’t believe my ears, it was so near to reach the finish line and I was about to finish my race when someone forcefully pulled the ribbon away.
I gathered all my courage and asked---“Can you tell me where he has gone?”
She said---“No, but Suprotim might know. You can call him.”
I disconnected the call---“Ok auntie, bye. Merry Christmas.”
I clenched my jaws as I dialed Suprotim Da’s mobile number. A single sentence from Babu devastated our life again.
Suprotim Da picked up the phone---“Who is calling?”
I answered---“I am Paree.”
He was surprised to hear my voice---“After so long time?”
“Yes.” my chest was preparing herself for an unknown anxiety.
What he told to me next, shattered all my dreams and all those glimmers of hope faded away.
---“Abhi called me last week. He told to me that you were getting married and your marriage has been fixed.”
My lungs busted inside my ribcage---“No, it is not true.” I was unable to scream out as it would wake ChotoMa and Babu.
---“He was devastated by that news. He called you only to tell that he is working hard and he would return to take you back. You know that money counts in the society. If you are rich and a prestigious
person, then the surroundings around us overlook all those age difference and problems. People like to hear tinkers of money, so he drowned himself in work, work and your thoughts. But then …”
---“Then, what? Where is he now? I want his number I want to talk to him.”
---“He told me that he was going to Israel for IT training and he also told me that since you were getting married so he would never return to Kolkata in future. He left New Delhi just four days ago. If
you could have called then… What are you going to do?”
I closed my eyes as I heard that last sentence.
---“You both have lost the battle.”
I wanted to scream out in top of my voice “I can’t lose the battle. I was forced to lose the battle but my Abhi can’t lose any battle.” But he was gone.
I disconnected the phone and lay on my back for a long time. Clutched the pillow on my chest and bit that soft cotton between my teeth to douse the sound of my pain and tears.
I got up from my bed and walked to the bookshelf to pull out the diary. Read all those pages with my hazy eyes. The lines that he wrote in those white pages seemed to be all fake. I felt to tear all
those pages and burn the diary called as “Optics Notebook”. That notebook kept me alive in those past months, but what then after he was gone away forever. But something inside me resisted me
not to destroy the diary.
First it was the values of the society, yet there was some hope. Then a single lie and he was gone forever. All my hopes, the light at the end of the tunnel everything faded. All the dreams shattered in
front of eyes. If he could have faith in me then he would surely understand me that it was not me who was talking. How could I clarify myself was then a big question.
I was happy for another reason also; ChotoMa promised me that she would present me a cell-phone. But no one talked about the cell-phone in the house. The dinner table conversation and all others
were very normal. No one talked about buying me a cell-phone. I was skeptical about the cell-phone after few days.
##
The Christmas arrived. On the morning of Christmas as I woke up I found that ChotoMa and Babu, as usual they were early birds, so they were sipping tea in the drawing room.
When I came out of the bathroom after getting fresh, I found a gift pack on my bed.
I was very happy as I opened the pack and found a Nokia handset model 3330. I sensed my freedom through that phone.
I ran to drawing room and thanked ChotoMa and Babu.
She smiled at me and said---“Happy now?”
My face was beaming with a smile of thousand volts---“Very happy.”
“But there is a caution….” She said to me. And I was expecting that.
She said to me---“Promise me, that you will not do anything that will stoop down our faces in front of the society.”
All the glimmers were just gone by that single sentence. I walked silently to my room without answering her.
She came behind me---“What? I have not got your answer yet.”
I clutched the phone in one hand and with another I hold the chair. My back was turned towards her so she was unaware of my facial expression. I controlled myself and nodded my head. I also knew
by heart that I was lying to them as they lied to him.
She was happy as she observed me nodding my head but same time was skeptical about my future reactions.
Anyway, after she left my room, I thought of him and a way to call him.
I thought hard as whom to make the first call. If I knew his number then surely it would be him, but alas I didn’t have his contact number and neither had I known his whereabouts.
After dinner I retired to my room and then I thought to make my first call. I was alone in my room and the door was locked from inside.
I called Suprotim Da’s house. It was about eleven o’clock in the night. The phone bell rang for few minutes. I thought “Probably they have slept”. I was about to disconnect the phone when someone
answered. It was lady’s voice and I recognized that would be Suprotim Da’s mother.
---“Hello, who is this?”
---“Suchismita, I am a friend of Suprotim Da’s friend from Kolkata.”
She recognized my voice---“Oh! Yes, yes I remember. You came to my house. How are you?”
My heart danced. I was able to see the dawn on the horizon. The red sun was rising from east.
---“Can I talk to Suprotim Da?”
She paused for few Moments---“Suprotim is not in Delhi. After their marriage they have shifted to Bangalore.”
I let out a deep exhale, but I didn’t lose my hope. I thought “Should I ask her about him or not?”
---“Can I get his mobile number?”
She gave me his mobile number.
I asked her at last---“Do you have any news of Abhimanyu?” After a long time, probably after one hundred and fifty days I pronounced his full name from my lips. My heart was thumping very fast to
hear his news.
---“Hmmmm…. He came two weeks ago. He was ok.”
I saw the sun rising from the horizon---“Can I get his contact number?”
She paused for a Moment and said---“Am actually not sure whether he is still in New Delhi or not.”
I couldn’t believe my ears, it was so near to reach the finish line and I was about to finish my race when someone forcefully pulled the ribbon away.
I gathered all my courage and asked---“Can you tell me where he has gone?”
She said---“No, but Suprotim might know. You can call him.”
I disconnected the call---“Ok auntie, bye. Merry Christmas.”
I clenched my jaws as I dialed Suprotim Da’s mobile number. A single sentence from Babu devastated our life again.
Suprotim Da picked up the phone---“Who is calling?”
I answered---“I am Paree.”
He was surprised to hear my voice---“After so long time?”
“Yes.” my chest was preparing herself for an unknown anxiety.
What he told to me next, shattered all my dreams and all those glimmers of hope faded away.
---“Abhi called me last week. He told to me that you were getting married and your marriage has been fixed.”
My lungs busted inside my ribcage---“No, it is not true.” I was unable to scream out as it would wake ChotoMa and Babu.
---“He was devastated by that news. He called you only to tell that he is working hard and he would return to take you back. You know that money counts in the society. If you are rich and a prestigious
person, then the surroundings around us overlook all those age difference and problems. People like to hear tinkers of money, so he drowned himself in work, work and your thoughts. But then …”
---“Then, what? Where is he now? I want his number I want to talk to him.”
---“He told me that he was going to Israel for IT training and he also told me that since you were getting married so he would never return to Kolkata in future. He left New Delhi just four days ago. If
you could have called then… What are you going to do?”
I closed my eyes as I heard that last sentence.
---“You both have lost the battle.”
I wanted to scream out in top of my voice “I can’t lose the battle. I was forced to lose the battle but my Abhi can’t lose any battle.” But he was gone.
I disconnected the phone and lay on my back for a long time. Clutched the pillow on my chest and bit that soft cotton between my teeth to douse the sound of my pain and tears.
I got up from my bed and walked to the bookshelf to pull out the diary. Read all those pages with my hazy eyes. The lines that he wrote in those white pages seemed to be all fake. I felt to tear all
those pages and burn the diary called as “Optics Notebook”. That notebook kept me alive in those past months, but what then after he was gone away forever. But something inside me resisted me
not to destroy the diary.
First it was the values of the society, yet there was some hope. Then a single lie and he was gone forever. All my hopes, the light at the end of the tunnel everything faded. All the dreams shattered in
front of eyes. If he could have faith in me then he would surely understand me that it was not me who was talking. How could I clarify myself was then a big question.
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