11-02-2020, 12:25 PM
Chapter 5: Glimmer of hope, fades
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Days passed without much ripples. After I returned to my house in DumDum, I was given some freedom. Then I was at least allowed to close my door of my room at night.
On the first day when I locked my door, I took out his diary and read that for a long time. He loved to write stories and poems. All those were very, very funny. I laughed a lot while reading those
poems. Truly speaking, some were good but most of them were nonsense. And that nonsense made me laugh at night. I was able to breathe again in the fresh air. Gradually I was feeling happy again
as that diary was with me and I was at least able to read his memoirs every night.
ChotoMa and Babu were also happy to see my smiling face. But they didn’t know the reason behind my smiling face.
The day was two weeks before Christmas; first marriage anniversary of Subroto and Maithili. It was also the day I met him. It was a memorable day for me. The day of my first kiss, although it was on
my forehead but it was the most sweetest and most precious. It was early morning and I was still in my bed remembering those sweet moments and was smiling inside my heart.
I knew by my heart that he must be feeling those same and I knew he would somehow try to contact me.
ChotoMa and Babu had just finished calling Maithili and Subroto to wish them their first anniversary. She asked for me but ignored them with some pretext. I told ChotoMa to tell them that I was in
bathroom and I would call them afterwards.
It was the venomous curse of Maithili that took him away from me.
I was getting ready for my college. ChotoMa already left for her school. Babu was near to the telephone and I was in my room when the phone rang.
I was about to run to pick up the phone, but Babu answered. I stood at the door of my room. My heart was telling me that the call was from him.
Babu---“Hello who is this?”
Some one answered, but I was unable to fathom as who was on the other end. Whatever the answer was, that made his face muscles strained, jaws clenched. I could observe all those facial
expressions of Babu as I observed his face from his side. I was standing behind him at the entrance of my room. His back was towards me.
---“We are well. Why have you called?”
From that answer I was sure that it was him on the other end. My heart galloped like a race horse trying to finish the race. I was trying to gather all my strength to get into that receiver of the phone,
just to hear his voice. I clasped the curtain.
---“She is not here. She has gone to her native place.”
He was not aware that telephone was there at my native place by then. He would unable to cross-check what Babu told him. I closed my eyes, my sight went hazy. My face turned red and my ears
were burning.
---“Yes she is studying M.Sc. We have finalized her marriage. After her M.Sc. she will get married soon.”
I couldn’t know what his reaction was on the other end, but I stood there as a lifeless corpse on hearing those words. The whole world shook in front of my eyes. I lost myself into deep oblivion. The
only thought that ran in my mind was that I lost him forever. Hope that he doesn’t lose himself and keep a faith in me.
---“Don’t call us again and try to mess her life. She is happy with what has come.”
I closed the door behind me very quietly, so as not to make any noise. I tore the pillow apart to vent my agony. I cried my heart out in utter pain. He called but I was not able to talk to him. I bit the
pillow between my teeth to drowse my cries and the gurgles inside my chest.
#
Babu knocked the door---“ShonaMa, you are getting late for college. Are you ok?”
I screamed out with all my strength---“NO I AM NOT OK. JUST GO AWAY. How could you all do this to me?” Not a single sound came out from my lips. I buried all those cries deep inside my heart.
I wiped my face and said to Babu---“I am not feeling well today.”
---“Ok, take rest then. Let your ChotoMa return, she will take you to the doctor.”
At least I was relieved that he didn’t observe me standing behind him and eaves dropping his conversation, else another second world war would have started that night.
I kept to myself after that incident and that was noticed by my friends. Teesta and Delish wanted to know, but I was not at all in a position to tell them as what all had happened. After that day, I crawled deep in a shell like a hermit crab. Only thought that rang time and again inside my brain, heart, mind and soul, I have lost him. That one sentence of Babu was enough for the glimmer of hope to get faded.
--------------------------------------
Days passed without much ripples. After I returned to my house in DumDum, I was given some freedom. Then I was at least allowed to close my door of my room at night.
On the first day when I locked my door, I took out his diary and read that for a long time. He loved to write stories and poems. All those were very, very funny. I laughed a lot while reading those
poems. Truly speaking, some were good but most of them were nonsense. And that nonsense made me laugh at night. I was able to breathe again in the fresh air. Gradually I was feeling happy again
as that diary was with me and I was at least able to read his memoirs every night.
ChotoMa and Babu were also happy to see my smiling face. But they didn’t know the reason behind my smiling face.
The day was two weeks before Christmas; first marriage anniversary of Subroto and Maithili. It was also the day I met him. It was a memorable day for me. The day of my first kiss, although it was on
my forehead but it was the most sweetest and most precious. It was early morning and I was still in my bed remembering those sweet moments and was smiling inside my heart.
I knew by my heart that he must be feeling those same and I knew he would somehow try to contact me.
ChotoMa and Babu had just finished calling Maithili and Subroto to wish them their first anniversary. She asked for me but ignored them with some pretext. I told ChotoMa to tell them that I was in
bathroom and I would call them afterwards.
It was the venomous curse of Maithili that took him away from me.
I was getting ready for my college. ChotoMa already left for her school. Babu was near to the telephone and I was in my room when the phone rang.
I was about to run to pick up the phone, but Babu answered. I stood at the door of my room. My heart was telling me that the call was from him.
Babu---“Hello who is this?”
Some one answered, but I was unable to fathom as who was on the other end. Whatever the answer was, that made his face muscles strained, jaws clenched. I could observe all those facial
expressions of Babu as I observed his face from his side. I was standing behind him at the entrance of my room. His back was towards me.
---“We are well. Why have you called?”
From that answer I was sure that it was him on the other end. My heart galloped like a race horse trying to finish the race. I was trying to gather all my strength to get into that receiver of the phone,
just to hear his voice. I clasped the curtain.
---“She is not here. She has gone to her native place.”
He was not aware that telephone was there at my native place by then. He would unable to cross-check what Babu told him. I closed my eyes, my sight went hazy. My face turned red and my ears
were burning.
---“Yes she is studying M.Sc. We have finalized her marriage. After her M.Sc. she will get married soon.”
I couldn’t know what his reaction was on the other end, but I stood there as a lifeless corpse on hearing those words. The whole world shook in front of my eyes. I lost myself into deep oblivion. The
only thought that ran in my mind was that I lost him forever. Hope that he doesn’t lose himself and keep a faith in me.
---“Don’t call us again and try to mess her life. She is happy with what has come.”
I closed the door behind me very quietly, so as not to make any noise. I tore the pillow apart to vent my agony. I cried my heart out in utter pain. He called but I was not able to talk to him. I bit the
pillow between my teeth to drowse my cries and the gurgles inside my chest.
#
Babu knocked the door---“ShonaMa, you are getting late for college. Are you ok?”
I screamed out with all my strength---“NO I AM NOT OK. JUST GO AWAY. How could you all do this to me?” Not a single sound came out from my lips. I buried all those cries deep inside my heart.
I wiped my face and said to Babu---“I am not feeling well today.”
---“Ok, take rest then. Let your ChotoMa return, she will take you to the doctor.”
At least I was relieved that he didn’t observe me standing behind him and eaves dropping his conversation, else another second world war would have started that night.
I kept to myself after that incident and that was noticed by my friends. Teesta and Delish wanted to know, but I was not at all in a position to tell them as what all had happened. After that day, I crawled deep in a shell like a hermit crab. Only thought that rang time and again inside my brain, heart, mind and soul, I have lost him. That one sentence of Babu was enough for the glimmer of hope to get faded.
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