11-02-2020, 12:20 PM
The evening was approaching, none of my brothers returned. My heart started to beat faster with each passing second, anticipating the arduous news to come in any second.
Just then the phone rang and I ran to pick up the phone. Subroto was on the other end; he didn’t expect me to pick up the phone.
Subroto---“What are you doing?”
---“Just tell me where are you and how is Bodo Boudi?”
Subroto---“Give the phone to Mom”
I shouted at him---“Am I no one of this house? Don’t I have any right to know?”
He took a long breadth; I bit my lower lips to control myself, prepared myself for the harrowing news.
Subroto---“She is sleeping now. Chemotherapy is going on. Now will you give the phone to Mom?”
I wiped my eyes and handed over the phone to my mom. I looked around, every person was standing there anxiously waiting for my answer as what has Subroto told me.
I told them---“Bodo Boudi is going under Chemotherapy. She is sleeping now.”
At that point of time I understood as why ChotoMa felt my breasts in the morning. I looked at ChotoMa and she understood from the look of my eyes that I paid her the gratitude as what she did to
me.
She told me---“Tomorrow I will take you to the hospital.”
##
During the night, after my brothers arrived all sat in a closed door meeting and I was not allowed to enter. On last visit at my native place, when we both were leaving, Bodo Boudi came out of her
kitchen to bid us good bye. It was the first time in many years, she came out of her kitchen in her entire life to bid good bye to us. I didn’t know what he did or what he told to her. Only that pair of
smiling eyes floated in front of my sniveled eyes, then.
I walked up the roof and looked up the sky. I stood in one corner of the roof, just the place where he sat few months back during our last visit.
I was desperate to meet him but also at the same time I was having the pain of losing my ChotoMa. She had done lot for me and I was in debt to her for what she did. How can I let their heads bow
down in shame in front society, among the relatives? I was a girl, a naïve girl who had to die thousands times before taking any drastic steps in life.
A terrible chain of thoughts jostled inside my head. Cancer of Bodo Boudi, pain of losing my love, ChotoMa’s affection. The whole world shook violently in front of my eyes. I could not think of
anything. I felt a sharp pain inside my head and all of a sudden everything went black in front of my eyes.
When I opened my eyes, I was on a bed surrounded by ChotoMa, my Mom, Meghna Boudi and my brothers.
Mom’s eyes were filled with tears as she looked at my painful face.
She asked ChotoMa in choked voice---“What’s happening to my house Ulupi?”
ChotoMa probably sensed the reason behind my ill health. She knew the truth that it was not only due to Bodo Boudi’s cancer it was something more than that.
Mom rubbed her soothing palm all over my head and face. She was in dark as what was going inside my heart. Only person who knew as what was going on was ChotoMa. But her eyes were also
filled up with tears; probably she was bearing the same pain of losing his son. It was really hard to fathom as she could veil very aptly, her feelings.
ChotoMa told me---“You could goto meet your Bodo Boudi tomorrow.”
But next day also, I was not taken to hospital on pretext of something.
On Chaurthi, the fourth day after Mahalaya, I was walking towards the backyard of the house, beside the pond. Everywhere I felt his touch, in the pond, on the path. Every place in my house bore his
reminiscences. I walked to the mango tree; that he planted long time ago and sat under that tree. I tried hard to feel him on the trunk of the tree. On that place, he kissed me on the last night. Still
those kisses lingered on my lips, my forehead. I looked up the cobalt blue sky. The aroma of the air was filled up with Puja and Puja. But those aromas were not getting inside my brain.
Dushtu came running at me and said---“Bodo Jethima (eldest aunt) has returned to the house.”
I was more than happy, at least some solace to my painful mind and soul.
I came running to the house and found that everyone was gathered in the dining hall. I asked mom as where was Bodo Boudi (eldest sister-in-law).
She said to me---“She has just arrived. She is inside her room.”
I walked inside her room and found her lying on the bed, covered till her neck. She was so sick and so wispy, that when she smiled at me, I wanted to tell her that “Don’t smile just be there on bed and
stand on your feet for my sake.”
From that day I was always by her side for every moment and also at night. Her left breast was amputated. She was on chemo. She was gradually regaining her strength although she was very weak,
but at least she was able to sit on the bed and walk to the bathroom.
On Navami, ninth day of Durga Puja, she felt better than previous days. I helped her to take bath and she looked at me while I was combing her hair. Most of the hair had fallen by then due to
chemotherapy.
She whispered in a very weak voice---“Paree, I want to goto to the Durga Mandir, will you take me?”
I told her “Why not?”
---“Today evening?”
---“Yes, sure. We all will go. Mom, ChotoMa, Sumanto Da, Meghna Boudi, Dushtu, and Maithili everyone will go with you.”
Just then the phone rang and I ran to pick up the phone. Subroto was on the other end; he didn’t expect me to pick up the phone.
Subroto---“What are you doing?”
---“Just tell me where are you and how is Bodo Boudi?”
Subroto---“Give the phone to Mom”
I shouted at him---“Am I no one of this house? Don’t I have any right to know?”
He took a long breadth; I bit my lower lips to control myself, prepared myself for the harrowing news.
Subroto---“She is sleeping now. Chemotherapy is going on. Now will you give the phone to Mom?”
I wiped my eyes and handed over the phone to my mom. I looked around, every person was standing there anxiously waiting for my answer as what has Subroto told me.
I told them---“Bodo Boudi is going under Chemotherapy. She is sleeping now.”
At that point of time I understood as why ChotoMa felt my breasts in the morning. I looked at ChotoMa and she understood from the look of my eyes that I paid her the gratitude as what she did to
me.
She told me---“Tomorrow I will take you to the hospital.”
##
During the night, after my brothers arrived all sat in a closed door meeting and I was not allowed to enter. On last visit at my native place, when we both were leaving, Bodo Boudi came out of her
kitchen to bid us good bye. It was the first time in many years, she came out of her kitchen in her entire life to bid good bye to us. I didn’t know what he did or what he told to her. Only that pair of
smiling eyes floated in front of my sniveled eyes, then.
I walked up the roof and looked up the sky. I stood in one corner of the roof, just the place where he sat few months back during our last visit.
I was desperate to meet him but also at the same time I was having the pain of losing my ChotoMa. She had done lot for me and I was in debt to her for what she did. How can I let their heads bow
down in shame in front society, among the relatives? I was a girl, a naïve girl who had to die thousands times before taking any drastic steps in life.
A terrible chain of thoughts jostled inside my head. Cancer of Bodo Boudi, pain of losing my love, ChotoMa’s affection. The whole world shook violently in front of my eyes. I could not think of
anything. I felt a sharp pain inside my head and all of a sudden everything went black in front of my eyes.
When I opened my eyes, I was on a bed surrounded by ChotoMa, my Mom, Meghna Boudi and my brothers.
Mom’s eyes were filled with tears as she looked at my painful face.
She asked ChotoMa in choked voice---“What’s happening to my house Ulupi?”
ChotoMa probably sensed the reason behind my ill health. She knew the truth that it was not only due to Bodo Boudi’s cancer it was something more than that.
Mom rubbed her soothing palm all over my head and face. She was in dark as what was going inside my heart. Only person who knew as what was going on was ChotoMa. But her eyes were also
filled up with tears; probably she was bearing the same pain of losing his son. It was really hard to fathom as she could veil very aptly, her feelings.
ChotoMa told me---“You could goto meet your Bodo Boudi tomorrow.”
But next day also, I was not taken to hospital on pretext of something.
On Chaurthi, the fourth day after Mahalaya, I was walking towards the backyard of the house, beside the pond. Everywhere I felt his touch, in the pond, on the path. Every place in my house bore his
reminiscences. I walked to the mango tree; that he planted long time ago and sat under that tree. I tried hard to feel him on the trunk of the tree. On that place, he kissed me on the last night. Still
those kisses lingered on my lips, my forehead. I looked up the cobalt blue sky. The aroma of the air was filled up with Puja and Puja. But those aromas were not getting inside my brain.
Dushtu came running at me and said---“Bodo Jethima (eldest aunt) has returned to the house.”
I was more than happy, at least some solace to my painful mind and soul.
I came running to the house and found that everyone was gathered in the dining hall. I asked mom as where was Bodo Boudi (eldest sister-in-law).
She said to me---“She has just arrived. She is inside her room.”
I walked inside her room and found her lying on the bed, covered till her neck. She was so sick and so wispy, that when she smiled at me, I wanted to tell her that “Don’t smile just be there on bed and
stand on your feet for my sake.”
From that day I was always by her side for every moment and also at night. Her left breast was amputated. She was on chemo. She was gradually regaining her strength although she was very weak,
but at least she was able to sit on the bed and walk to the bathroom.
On Navami, ninth day of Durga Puja, she felt better than previous days. I helped her to take bath and she looked at me while I was combing her hair. Most of the hair had fallen by then due to
chemotherapy.
She whispered in a very weak voice---“Paree, I want to goto to the Durga Mandir, will you take me?”
I told her “Why not?”
---“Today evening?”
---“Yes, sure. We all will go. Mom, ChotoMa, Sumanto Da, Meghna Boudi, Dushtu, and Maithili everyone will go with you.”