Romance An Old Debt has to be Paid..by salir

[Lollobionda]

'The disclosure conversation - 15' ... 

After half an hour, we were chatting while breakfasting.

I asked Meena: ‘How are you, what about your headache?’

“Oh, no, I have no more headache.”

“Very good. And why are you up so early?” I asked.

“I couldn't sleep further, perhaps because last night I went too early to bed.” She replied.

I smiled and said: “And your uncle was also leaving, you had to say goodbye!”

She looked at me seriously: “Yes, he left, but he didn't need me while leaving, it is only kindness!”

I continued my provocative style: “But for sure he loves when you give him so pleasant goodbye kisses!”

Meena was now slightly pale in her face and unsure, I thought she suspected if I saw them: “What do you mean?”

"Nothing Special. You kiss him goodbye or not?"

"Yes, sure, he is my uncle."

"And your uncle progresses to be a real lady killer! He had a sexy swimming trunk yesterday."

She looked at her coffee and said nothing...

I continued: “A new and sexy one, and then I was astonished to see you have also a sexy new bikini. Wow, you both are mentally so close to one another!”

“The bikini was my surprise for you Nadir! I bought it for me as I was shopping for you on Friday and I told you that I have a surprise.”

“And who had bought the new sexy trunks for Mansour and surprised him?” My voice was slightly angry, I noticed.

“Yes, I admit I did it, but I wanted not to make you jealous or uneasy. You know I love you and I don't want to bother you.” She said with pleading eyes.

I stood up, looked directly in her eyes and said: “I am not sure about that. Are you sure?” And left for my study without waiting for her reply.

I could feel her gaze behind me as I went out.

Meanwhile, I was sitting more than one hour in my study and thinking and thinking…

It was about eleven o’clock.

I decided what to do, stood up and got out.

Meena was yet in the dining room reading and hearing music; 'Dance me to the end of love' from Leonard Cohen, our favorite piece.

I turned it off; she looked at me with questioning eyes and asked: “Is there something?”

Then stood up, to bring the coffee glasses in the kitchen.

I said firmly while nodding her chair: “Sit down Meena, I have to talk to you. I'm going to ask you a few questions and I want you to answer me honestly. I need the brutal honesty.”

She sat again waiting.

Then I got closer to her and after a short pause continued: “I don't know what's going on, Meena, but something is. Are you going to tell me what it is? I ask only one time and I demand you to be honest as always. I know you don’t lie to me, no matter what I ask.”

I noticed that she is very worried. I continued simply and slowly: ‘Do you love me?’

“Yes, sure, you know that. Why do you ask?”

“Now answer me…”

I didn't realize it then, but from the expression that slowly grew on her as I slowly, with great emphasis and the beginnings of real anger, said: “Do you love some other man too?” 

She knew at this moment what is coming, I think.

“Why do you ask such a question, you know…?”

I interrupted her, a bit louder and with a heavyweight on every word: “Answer my question, please.”

“No, never. You were and are the only man who I love.” She responded concerned, perhaps a bit frightened.

“Now, please look at my eyes and answer it. Is there something going on I don't know about? Have you some secrets hidden from me?”

Glancing at her beautiful face I realized, she was still focused in with a deep stare in my eyes. Meena searched my eyes intently as if trying to see if I know the truth. She was trying to read me the way I was reading her. She waited some short moments before responding.

I tried meanwhile to formulate my question differently and became also yet louder and with more stress on some of my words: “Did you or do you cheat on me? I mean are you fucking somebody else?”

An expression consisting of surprise, embarrassment and something near to shock appeared on her face. Meena was first speechless and completely pale in her face, but still looking in my eyes. Her hands were shaking. I could see it clearly.

“I…I don’t understand what are you talking about?”

“You sure understood what I am talking about. What, I asked, was very clearly and distinctly: Did… You… or… do… You… cheat… on… Me?”

And continued firmly: “I have to know if there was or is something I am not aware of?”

Meena’s lips were trembling and her eyes were tearful.

I continued to look deep in her eyes. She could look no further into the mine, but looked away with an expression I couldn't place.

Then she bowed her head down and looked at the floor. She could no longer restrain herself and begun to cry. And then weeping came and the same time whispering: “Yes.”

Was quietly listening to. I tried: “I don’t hear you.”

“Yes. Forgive me, Nadir, please forgive me. I have done it…”

Meena reached over and did something that shocked and scared me at the same time. She took my hand and brought it to her lips and kissed it.

This astonished me and one moment I didn’t know how to react to this immediate confession and at the same time her physical reaction. I had waited her to negate and go away, at least at first. 

Then I found some words: “How many times?”

She kept her face tightly against the back of my hand and kissed it again.

Without looking at me, she said: “I'm so sorry for my it, Nadir. You know I love you. You were the only man in my life. I love you more now than when we married. This is crazy. It was just a slip…”

“I asked how many times?” I asked angrily and loudly.

She looked at me, and while weeping said softly: “Only one time, I mean just one person ..."

"But more times with him, yes?”

She bent her head and looked at the floor again and murmured: “Yes…”

“Then it can’t be just a slip.”

She didn’t say anything.

“How many times with him?”

“I am not sure, but not more than four or five times.”

This was correct. I wanted to test her. I waited her to ask me where from I knew it. But obviously she didn’t dare it.

“Do I know him?”

Meena murmured again: ‘Yes…’

“Mansour, right?”

“Yes.”

This was a very quick answer.

“Do you love him?”

“I told you. I love just one man and you are that one. I am happy to have you. I love you more than anything in this world and beyond!”

“Then why did you or do you fuck him?”

Meena was surprised, perhaps more horrified from my choice of word. She waited with her response.

“Why do you gave and give yourself to him?” I repeated.

She looked up at me and murmured: “He needs me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“He is not only an older man, who suffered much, but I love him as my uncle and you know…”

At this moment I thought she didn't want to reveal the truth about her father and their fraud.

She paused shortly.

I gave her no time: “And?”

“… And he needs me…..”

I laughed bitterly and purposely irritating: “This sounds a bit like incest!”

“It's nonsense and you know it well.”

I changed the theme: “And me, what about me?”

“You are the man who I need.”

“To?”

“What do you mean with "to"?”

“To do what with? Laughing? Travelling? Going to eat?”

“To live with, I need you for my existence.”

“But for your bed you prefer him and his monster...”

“Don't be cruel, Nadir.”

“I am not cruel, I want to know and it is my right to know...”

Now she had collected herself a bit more. She was more confident.

“Would you forgive me, someday?” Then she shook her head and began to weep again. 

I heard her murmuring: “Okay, you are right, I am unashamed, and my love for you gives me so much sass that I ask for forgiveness and understanding, yes, sure, otherwise you know that I am not usually such a sassy...”

I asked: ‘What have you done if I betrayed and cheated you?’

She looked in my eyes and without delay while weeping said: ‘I could not forgive you.’

I knew Meena's answer already; she was always fair and correct and said what she thought for truth.

I stood up and went outside. I felt I needed some fresh air. I sat in the garden.

After half an hour I was a bit relaxed. I went back into the dining room. I noticed that she in in the kitchen. I went in the kitchen; she was cooking and yet weeping. 

She looked up straight at the kitchen cabinet and said: “In half an hour the lunch is ready..”

I said: “The lunch is now not important. We need to talk further, about what we are going to do.”

She looked at me with tearful and fearful eyes: “As you wish.”

We sat in the living room.

I began: “You have right to talk about your thoughts and your opinions with me or apologize, but I have the feeling that this is not only an affair...”

Meena was one time more a bit confident: “Please Nadir... I know you are hurt but don't try to analyze the situation and make the it more complicated than how it already is.. Here are some facts: first I made a mistake and I have to pay for it. Second, I made it because I had the feeling that he, my uncle needs me, emotionally and physically...”

Meena's articulation and expression astonished me again. She sounded now very confident. This made me a bit angry and there was again tension in my voice recognizable.

I made a face and imitated her voice and continued her sentence with her tone: “And

you were forced to do it because he is so a poor, old man and you were obliged and you had no other choice. I believe you completely, fucking him was even a virtuous act. Bravo! I believe you, you had no sexual feelings, no pleasure and no enjoyment with him and without doubt you suffered every time he screwed you…”

“Let me explain please... yes, I am a woman and like any other woman and human being enjoy attention and tenderness.”

“You mean the things that you did not get all these years…”

“Perhaps not enough. But I love you, I need you and your closeness and sincerity. You are the essence and meaning of love for me and you are my life. But I understand, you are the person who injured is, and at the end of all discussion and causes include, I am who betrayed you and responsible for this miserable situation in our marriage and our happy life.”

“Not marriage, but perhaps partnership and love, you betrayed our love... anything other doesn't matter.”

“It doesn't matter even when you tell him that I am "only" your husband, and he is your man, your lover, your fucker...”

“These are not my words, I did never told...”

“You didn't need to tell all this directly. Your behavior showed it.”

“I don't want to fight and I don't blame you Nadir and I accept and respect your decision no matter what it is supposed to be. I know that you can't forgive me as your wife, but please understand and accept me as a human being with all his mistakes and faults. I am going to leave; I go to my mother for some time. Meanwhile, I search for a home for me and also a new job, perhaps even in another city and not here where you live..”

She was crying again, but her speaking was more controlled: “I'm so sorry I've let things slide. We had been so busy with our work and daily life that we let the main thing in our life go unattended to. And that's our love, we have neglected it. I love you and I want to live with you, but only the way it used to be, but it is not more possible. I can’t change this, the flowed water is not coming back to the river.”

She began louder to cry and weep and continued: “You deserve a lucky life and a faithful wife.”

If she had looked up then, I know she would have seen my eyes flooded with tears as I realized the shit that our marriage had become while I was too blind to see it happening in front of me. If she had looked me in the eye, then she would have known something was terribly wrong and probably I would have told her the truth, that I knew everything from the beginning and stayed there and looked at them and enjoyed their acts. Perhaps I would have talked about what I was thinking and how and what I felt while they loved each other and my paradoxes feelings, my pleasure and my pain.

But at the next moment I was not busier with “love”, but “sex” and “betrayal”.

Was the cause of her cheating and letting go the circumstance that our sex life was infrequent, so boring or so bland? I looked at her curiously. She was still crying.

I thought my wife had fallen in love with another man.

The beautiful woman I loved and trusted for so many years let another man's big cock inside her and at the same time amused herself and let him to make fun of me.

And this man could and can have her, how he liked and any time he liked.

I knew and she knew that she will give her to him when he is near.

He is her sex partner and I am just her husband, as she articulated before.

This was a fact: In the last years we had been Husband and wife times more than we'd been lovers and sex partners.

But is this not so with others? Are other people not after some months or at best some few years the same? Just husband and wife?

Consequently a strong part of me kept telling me this whole box of thought was stupid and the only fact is that “she is a cheater” and I have to put an end…

I started to speak: “I really don't know what was going through your mind as you cheated on me and let him fuck you, or what's going through it right now, perhaps you are dreaming of his big dick. I don't even know if I know you as a person anymore. One thing I do know is that you are right. There is no way in hell you and me to continue our silly living together. We have to separate our ways. Moreover, this is better for you two lovers. Then you and your asshole uncle could have more freedom and time to fuck. But one thing yet to say is that, I am who leaves this house. If somebody goes, it is me, this is your house and I have to move out, if so. By the way, I feel me not guilty even you try to give me this feeling about me to neglect our love. I think I'll scream if

I can't tell you this: what was happening or not happening in our life and with our love, gives you no right to betray me and fuck with another man. I try to be honest with you as always. You had to speak with me about your feelings and what you think because we were not only married people and lovers, but we were always friends, at least I thought so. No, you went and opened your legs for the first creature, who get an erection. No matter old or ugly, you didn't care even if he is a stranger or your own uncle, obviously for you the main thing was that he has an aroused, erect and especially big prick that fills your hungry and leaking choot…” 

I waited no more for her response.

I went into the walk in closet and grabbed a suit, and hurried upstairs. First took a shower then, took my things and went in my study room, turned on the cameras and controlled the recorder system, then I went downstairs.

She was sitting in the dining room and still crying. 

I stood shortly at the door of the dining room, looking at her and then spoke: “I am leaving Meena, I come in the next days to take what I need further. From now on you have your freedom and chance to live how you wish and fuck whom you like. And you can immediately call that asshole and invite him for the ready lunch, I am not more hungry!”

She looked up with red eyes, said nothing, just head shaking up and down and looking if in a trance. I slipped out the door without stopping for her response and left the house immediately…

I got to a famous hotel in the city. Often I was there during meetings, and they knew me. I took a big room and then get out to go walking and then I visited a movie.

I took the dinner at the hotel restaurant and then went sleeping...

Next day when at work, I quickly slipped into the usual routine. A colleague of Meena asked me if she is sick. I noticed immediately that she is not at work and confirmed it.

At noon, my mother called to ask me if I am visiting them today afternoon. They miss me and like to see me she added. I said okay, I am coming after work.

After off duty I rode to my parents. They were living now outside the city some miles away, and were very happy to see me. I enjoyed coffee and my mother's cake.

As my father was in his home workshop for some minutes, my mother asked me: “Is everything between you and Meena okay?”

“Why do you ask? Sure, we have no problems…” I replied.

“I am your mother Nadir, can take one look at your face and say if something is bothering you.”

I thought probably she knew something and said: “We had only a small discussion and disagreement about something stupid. But it is not important, it is a little thing and it's going to be okay again.”

“But certainly not before your birthday.”

She smiled looking at my face and waiting: “Why do you think so.. She called yesterday in the evening and told me to accept the handover your birthday-gift as her substitute. And today it is here, I mean the gift.”

“I don't understand. What means that?”

“She told me she is leaving to a seminar and had no time and she wants that you get it as soon as possible.”

I was astonished: ‘Okay. I take it with.’

“Now come with.”

She took me with her to their garage.

My father stood next to a second car which was covered, except own. He smiled to me and uncovered the new car. And there was it: my dream classic car. A jaguar from the year 1972. This was the type classic car which I loved for years and last week I saw this special one in British green color, in the classic car show and told my friend, Talebi, who was with me, this one could I accept as my second bride!

And now she stood there, my second bride, in all her beauty!

I was speechless. The day after our visit to car Shows, I saw Meena talking with my friend Talebi in the hospital. Now I understood what they were talking about, because they stopped as I approached. 

My mother spoke further: “Your Meena loves you too much. It is not normal to give such a car as a birthday gift, at least not in our family and friends circle. But I know, you two are not normal! It must be very expensive…" And kissed me. 

As I was examining the cockpit I saw an envelope on the steering wheel.

My father said: ‘The car arrived today early morning. Meena was here and put this letter in.’

I took the envelope and told them I have to register the car next days and I come some days later to take it.

After I left them, I stopped one mile away and opened the envelope, it was a letter, with her writing:

“My love, hello Happy birthday to you. I wanted that you get this immediately, because it is not fair that you think of me and what I have done, on your birthday. I hope you enjoy this present, even if it is from someone who hurt you and already pays for it.

I am so sorry…

Now I would like to say: Please forgive me and forget the last weeks of our life together in the name of love…

Goodbye my love

Meena…”

* * *